Noticing A Blessing In Disguise

 “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump

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(If you haven’t see that movie I just referenced, PLEASE get on that. Very heartfelt and actually very relevant to this post. It’s so good!)


Life is full of surprises……

unfortunately, they don’t all come wrapped up in a giant bow and pretty paper. Damn. They typically come in a storm form; forceful and frightening. I’m sure you can think of a thing or two that has happened in your life that completely caught you off guard. It happens…

When something challenging occurs in your life, it can be very hard to process because they are often unannounced and sudden. You may have even looked up to the sky and asked WHY, why is this happening. You will try your best to understand the reasoning behind an unpredictable occurrence. It’s scary, it is. You have to acknowledge it.

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Some things happen without our permission, many things actually, and some things happen based on a single decision that you or someone else may have made.

Hard things happen in life. Really hard things that are unavoidable. We all know that, we all go through them. Some harder then others. Everyone knows the pain of heart break in one form or another.

We are not given things that we cannot handle. When we are down, we have to know that we do have the strength to get back up. You are stronger then you tell yourself. Always remember that.

If you look back and focus for a just moment what those hard things were, or, maybe you are going through something right now.

If you are in a storm right now,  I want you to know there are hidden blessings in your hardships. You are being shaped. Believe it and be patient.

Maybe in reflecting, you have noticed a few blessings in disguise in your life.

Reflect right now on some past moments. If the things that happened to you in the past, had not happened, you wouldn’t be where you are right now.

In this present moment, you wouldn’t have the mindset that you do, you wouldn’t have the perspective that you, you wouldn’t appreciate life as much as do.

Hard times in life remind us how fragile and unpredictable life can be. 

Typically when we go through tribulations and heartache it changes our way of life. We can easily become lost in those hardships too, which is why it is so important to have a support system when you are going through something difficult in your life. You are not alone in what you go through. Always reach out. Social media makes it so easy to find people who are experiencing what you are experiencing. Please, always reach out.

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Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

When someone you know is going through a tough time in their life, you have to do your best to empathize with them. When it comes down to the core you don’t how this hardship is impacting them. Listen, and be there for them.


Our Blessing In Disguise

I want to share with you a moment in my life that was challenging for me. This became one of the best things in my life.

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Remember I mentioned how we all know that life is full of surprises. Well, this was definitely a surprise for our family.

Our family went from a family of 3 to a family of 4 very unexpectantly. Our little piece of unpredictable chocolate.

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If you read my previous post “Primero Dios” I mention that we just adopted, May of this year. We welcomed to our family permanently this little sassy, curious, messy, little rambunctious, firecracker.

Picture from my previous post “Primero Dios-Find Yourself Through Your Roots” – read it if you haven’t already! This was an amazing experience for me! You’ll know why in that post. 

ella

I will tell you, she has brought a whole new level of love into our home.

But let me also tell you…….it wasn’t that simple as first. It wasn’t easy adjusting, it was exhausting, and it was holy freaking cow, HARD. It was hard for ME. I’m not saying this incident would be hard for you too but it was for ME.

Don’t compare hardships with people, it doesn’t do anything. Its not a competition nor should it ever be. We just need to be there for each other.

When my first daughter was ten months I was having a difficult time with all the “motherly” adjustments. I became a stay at home mom, I hardly got to see my friends, I was lonely, and honestly I THOUGHT a ton. Too much. My mind was all over the place. It started a serious soul searching journey for me. But that’s beside the point. That’s another story I’m sure I’ll share eventually.

Motherhood is HARD. For many different reasons. I have definitely had moments where my girls are crying, and I’m crying. I’ve had many humbling moments as a Mother.

HOWEVER, we also know, it’s absolutely amazing and so much fun! You just constantly want to squeeze them and make them laugh and smile. You get sad thinking of them growing up and becoming their own person. But you’re so excited for their future.

It was just me and her. We had our routine. I was not ready for another baby.

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What’s so funny though is when I had my first daughter I would pray and pray for patience. “Please GOD give me patience.” over and over again. I would get to frustrated at times and I felt awful that I would get so upset at my baby.

(Wanting six kids in the past……..OUT THE WINDOW. All you moms made this motherhood thing look so easy.)

My prayer was heard……………

GOD was like,

you want patience my child?

BAM! Here’s another child, this will provide the patience that you need!

I was like,

Whoa…..I was praying for patience, not another child. I didn’t understand…

And then God was like,

be patient.

Went from One to Two REAL QUICK on April 8th 2017. This was an Easter photoshoot I did with them. They were the cutest bunnies that I ever did see!

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The hardest things in our life will reveal the best things in our life. 

In early April of last year I took my daughter to the mall so we could get out of the house.

So much work leaving the house with a baby, right? I laugh at that now. Little did I know, more work was ahead.

As we are driving home I received a phone call. A phone call that pretty much changed everything at that moment. I was asked to pick up my niece because she was being taken away child services. Her story is not mine to share.

To be honest, this was something that I did not want to get involved with, for many different reasons. My arms already felt so full at the time and then, THIS.

The beginning of my storm. Deciding whether to drive away or face it. Little did I know there was a rainbow waiting for me and my family….

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Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

Not all things are black and white. Feel all the emotions, go through the transitions, but know in the end there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

As I was driving home I called my husband who was at work and told him about the phone call that I just received. It turned out he was called too, and he knew already what was going on. He assured me that this wasn’t something that I had to do. Talk about pressure! It was me who had to decide at that moment. I knew I didn’t want to get involved with this, I knew this was going to create conflict and discomfort with many family members. But, I also knew what I had to do.

I was driving home contemplating if I should keep heading home or turn around.

I turned around the car with a crying baby in the back to get another baby. I had to go get her. I had a choice, but was it really a choice?

Now, you might be thinking I can’t believe you were even contemplating and almost didn’t go pick her up. Keep in mind, I’m providing a very, very, very….small glimpse into this situation that occurred.

Challenging moments in someone’s life are personal and not all those are comfortable sharing all their details. Always be respectful of that.

Arriving at the house, many emotions were being felt. Heartbreak and sadness were a few. I literally watched a child be taken away. She went with them, which I had to follow to an office ten minutes away from the house. That type of occurrence is hard for everyone. The ones witnessing it, the ones having to do it, and it is for the parent; my sister in law.

(All incidents and circumstances are different, this one, was especially hard for the parent.)

When children get taken away it’s really easy to blame the parents. Remember when I said, you have to do your best to empathize.

Many factors come into play when shaping who we are. It’s hard to hold things against people when you really don’t know how different you would be, if you had gone through what they went there.

We are all human. We have no room to judge.

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We arrived at the office and my husband ended up leaving work and meeting us there. To put it bluntly, when a child is taken away from home they prefer to place them with family then any one else. Hence, why we were called. If a family member doesn’t take them then they go to a foster family.


I just want to say to those that are foster Moms, foster Dads, foster Siblings, any other foster family members…..you are all incredible. I got a little taste of what you all go through, and I’m just amazed at your work and heart. Truly admirable. All the services and resources that are available for foster children is remarkable. There ARE very good people in this world.


*****When we were at the office our niece (now daughter) was never in our presence*****

My husband and I talked about all of THIS in a small room privately. We literally had to make a split decision. It’s not like we could go home and think about the pros and cons and come back with our minds made up the next day.

If we decided to take her we would have two one year olds. We knew that much.

(They are a month and two weeks apart.) I just kept thinking how hard this was going to be and I didn’t think I could do it. I began thinking how challenging it was with just one baby, and then I’m going to possibly have two and have no preparation for this whatsoever……did I want to take this on?

I also knew the family complications that would be tied to this.

We decided we weren’t going to take her at the moment and to let a foster family watch her.

We tried to view the whole picture and it was a BIG PICTURE which is why we decided that….at first.

Sometimes it seems easier to avoid our feelings, or avoid a situation because we think we are protecting ourselves. However, most of the time we are doing more harm then good.

There was a light at the end…..

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Photo by Caio Resende on Pexels.com

The caseworker comes in, and we let her know our decision. This particular caseworker actually kept insisting that it may be in our nieces best interest that she start fresh with a new family and that they already had a family for her. We felt this might be the best thing to do.

After our decision was made I asked,

“Can we say good-bye to her before we go?”

She brought her in, still in her carseat. I began to cry. How in the world was I suppose to let this little innocent baby go. This wasn’t her fault at all. She was so helpless. I just couldn’t go through with it.

That one question I asked…..that single question, is what changed everything! Our lives will always be changing in the blink of an eye. Appreciate all moments even the hardships. They transform you.

When we took her home it was HARD. I mean, extremely hard. For us, for her, and for many family members. She was a year old. She knew she wasn’t home. She cried every night, and she suffered from a few issues at the time. It was overwhelming, heartbreaking, and exhausting. As well as awkward and uncomfortable during family gatherings. This whole incident was taking a toll on many family members. We were all adjusting in one way or another.

We eventually began to have a routine and we had SO MUCH fun!

Everyone was happy for us! It wasn’t uncomfortable anymore! We were excited and grateful!

She was a cupcake for Halloween! Cuteness overload!

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We also went to Disneyland! Best Friends I tell ya, best friends.

disneyland

We flew to Florida and played at a splash pad at the zoo. Look how little she was!

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We enjoyed holiday festivities together!

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Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too! This was her second birthday.

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AND WE DID SO MUCH MORE! WE HAD HER FOR A YEAR AND ONE MONTH. THEN SHE BECAME OFFICIALLY OURS MAY 8, 2018.


The Rainbow

photography of rainbow during cloudy sky
Photo by Alex on Pexels.com

Time does pass, and one day, you will look back.

As time went one. Her being with us was the best thing for her and we transitioned from her “Aunt and Uncle” to being her Mom and Dad permanently.

Couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone else. My husband is the best.

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Adoption Day! What a joyful day! Not just for us but seeing all the other kids being adopted! What an experience. 

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It was a huge relief when this day came, let me tell you. It was accepted by everyone

(even my sister in law, her birth mother was happy that she was with us. I know it provided a little bit of peace and relief)

which took weight off our shoulders believe it or not. No longer Aunt and Uncle, she calls us Mama and Daddy.

We knew in our hearts that she was meant to be with us. We all became attached and whole. We are in love. Thank GOD.

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Photo by Donald Tong on Pexels.com

 

Having two little girls the same age is beyond amazing! They are best friends! They make each other and everyone else laugh so much! They entertain each other so I can get things done. I am a better mom because of her.

Girl Mom right here, and loving it!

rpp


 

“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”

-Forrest Gump

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Our Little Blessing In Disguise, Our Daughter…

vira


THANK YOU FOR READING!

I want to share that life has an interesting way of working out. Discover your blessings in disguise.

When something expected happens in your life, take it on, accept it, embrace it and have faith that things will work out in some way.

 Have faith and always PRAY.

I look forward to sharing more lessons life has taught me, and how motherhood and marriage continue to fill my heart up with love!

Comments your thoughts or share! I’d love to hear from you!

 

6 thoughts on “Noticing A Blessing In Disguise”

  1. Marie this was written so beautifully and I have some understanding as to your situation. When we were stationed in Korea many years ago I was living in Seoul, Korea with my three children while my husband was stationed and living at the DMZ. I had my hands full with my kids and all that goes with the duties expected of an Officer’s wife. I had a friend who was Korean and had a beautiful little girl whose father was an American who was stationed in Korea when her daughter was conceived. He was back in the states with his wife and family. My friend truly loved him and always believed he would bring them to the United States. In the summer if 1983 I also had my 12 year old niece from California spending the summer with us when my friend shared with me she had cancer and was dying. She wanted her daughter to be part of our family and live in the United States. Angel was three. We knew her well and loved her and she and my daughter spent a lot of time together. There is way too much of this story to share but many difficulties due to the language and the fact that she was not a military dependent. I called her paternal father but he at the time did not want to be involved. I was going from one attorney to another as my friend wanted to know that Angel would have a home with us. It was exhausting and difficult and also that my husband was not at all supportive of my decision. Angel’s Mother passed away August 3rd and I had another daughter in my home – 2 boys and 2 girls. I actually had to sign papers and go thru an adoption agency even though she lived with us from the minute her mother passed. I also had to pay them a lot of money and it was almost a year before it was finalized and doing it alone – even forging my husband’s name on all the papers while praying and working on his acceptance of this beautiful addition to our family. Angel is 39 years old now and I cannot for a minute imagine her not being my daughter. It wasn’t always easy – teenage years are difficult as well as a divorce but in the end we have a very close and wonderful relationship. When Angel was in college we searched for her biological father and found him in Florida. Angel was married 5 years ago and her biological Dad flew out here and walked her down the isle. When he was asked who gives her away he said her Mother, Kilja in heaven, her Mother Mary, and I. It was a beautiful day.
    Marie, you and Matt will have so many wonderful and difficult times again but it will all be worth it and you have two lucky little girls. Love, Mary

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    1. oh my gosh Mary, I had no idea. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I just cried, what a beautiful story. Wow, that is just so amazing I don’t even have words. You are so amazing Mary. You are always so sweet and so genuine. You are an amazing individual. I look forward to raising the girls. This was so heartfelt. I can’t wait to see you soon, so I can hug you!!

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  2. This was such a beautiful story to read. God Bless you and Matt for just doing what you felt your needed to do and now being great parents to BOTH of your girls! Thanks for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

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