inner work – The Wild Gems

Letting yourself feel sounds simple. But it’s not.

It’s one of the bravest and most uncomfortable things we can do.

Because feeling means facing. And most of us have spent years—maybe even decades—trying to avoid the very things our hearts most need to acknowledge.

So much of life teaches us to stay busy, stay numb, stay “fine.” We learn early on that some feelings are too big, too messy, too inconvenient. We tuck them away. We get good at holding ourselves together. We smile when we’re sad. We shrug off pain. We keep moving.

But at some point, the ache catches up to us.

And we realize that what we’ve been avoiding isn’t going away—it’s waiting to be felt.

That’s when the discomfort sets in. Not because we’re doing something wrong… but because we’re doing something deeply right. We’re unlearning a lifetime of emotional suppression. We’re learning to be honest again—with ourselves.

And that honesty? It cracks us open.

It’s scary because real feeling is raw. It makes us vulnerable. It can make us feel out of control. But the truth is, we’re never more in tune with ourselves than when we allow the feeling to move through us—fully and freely.

Even joy can feel uncomfortable if we’re used to waiting for it to vanish. Even peace can feel strange if chaos has been our baseline.

But you were made to feel.

You were not made to carry it all in silence.

You were not made to keep bracing for impact.

You were made to breathe through it. To soften. To release.

Feelings are not enemies. They are messages.

They are waves—not tsunamis.

They come to move, not to drown you.

Letting yourself feel is not weakness—it’s courage.

It’s coming home to your heart.

Emotions are a natural part of us, but they don’t define our entire being.

I once heard an analogy that made me chuckle: Emotions are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you also don’t want to stuff them in the trunk. This humorous but insightful metaphor reminds us of the delicate balance between acknowledging our emotions and letting them take over.

It’s crucial, maybe even vital, to validate our emotions. A simple but powerful step is naming what you’re feeling out loud: “I am angry because I feel like nobody is listening to me in this house.” Saying it out loud gives the emotion space to exist without consuming you. It’s like holding it up to the light and saying, “I see you, and I understand why you’re here.”

Too often, we seek validation for our emotions from others because we haven’t been taught how to validate ourselves. But here’s the truth: no one else can fully understand your inner world the way you do. Learning to recognize and name your emotions helps you build a bridge between feeling and understanding.

When we fail to acknowledge our emotions, they can turn inward, manifesting as self-blame, self-doubt, or even shame. Unchecked, they can become a storm that clouds how we see ourselves and the world. But when we practice self-compassion and emotional mindfulness, we create space for healing and growth.

This practice is also deeply tied to valuing and loving ourselves. When we learn to be gentle with our feelings instead of silencing or avoiding them, we show ourselves the same compassion we would offer to a friend. It becomes easier to navigate life with emotions as our passengers—present and acknowledged but no longer in control.

Emotions, however, can be powerful guides. Each one has something to teach us—if we’re willing to listen. Sadness might remind us of what we cherish or have lost. Anger can show us where our boundaries feel crossed. Joy reveals what brings meaning to our lives. They’re not the enemy—they’re messengers.

By taking this approach, we can steer through life with greater clarity and peace, no matter how strong the waves of emotion may be.

If we do not work on repairing and understanding ourselves, we cannot help repair or understand others.

“All behavior makes sense with enough information.”

Reminder: YOU MAKE SENSE.

Tag: inner work

Why Is It So Uncomfortable to Actually Feel?

Becoming Mindful Of Your Emotions