Are you a leader or a follower?
In my current season or phase of my life I do feel I am a leader.
I just don’t think the same anymore at all. I question, I ponder, I wonder, I don’t mind being uncomfortable.
People’s opinions about me are out the window. Not that I’m not curious of their perceptions but it’s like….I’m not loosing sleep over it.
Younger me was definitely a follower. Hardcore. I constantly wanted to fit in. I cringe just thinking about it. If they were doing it I wanted to do it, if they had it I wanted it. The truth is I desperately wanted to be seen in my teenager years. Rejection of any kind was painful. I became a people pleaser.
This I believe mainly roots to abandonment issues/being adopted. This void inside myself that I just couldn’t fill no matter what I did.
I am so grateful I have overcome that or at least that I’m aware of it. With all that I have learned through my own experiences I am teaching my children to be leaders. And they will be. I make sure that the biggest thing is that they feel loved. I don’t want my kids to ever question that.
I had a diary that I found a few years ago. In an entry I wrote, “all I want for my birthday is for my mom to tell me that she loves me.”
I was 11 years old. I read that and I was just like wow. Sometimes our younger selves literally reveal to us all that we want. And I just wanted to be loved.
My children are so smart for their age. I tell them often how intelligent they are and to not look at grown ups and think they have it all together. Grown ups are looking to them.
I tell them to ask lot of questions, to not accept everything they hear, to research, stay true to themselves, highly encouraging them to learn their bodies language and how to listen to their instincts and intuition. And like I mentioned earlier I remind them often how love surrounds them. And not just from me, but from nature and God.
This path was for me though, it brought me to my children. I don’t know who I am raising yet but I know they are meant for beautiful things and will do great things.
The Wild Gems 