“…there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger then you seem, and smarter than you think.” – Christopher Robin
I felt a very strong urge to write this post, I’m not even sure why. I was a little hesitant at first, but I had something that appeared on my “memories to look back on” on my facebook, and I just knew I had to write this post. Maybe there is someone out there that needs to read this. And if that someone is reading this, I am praying for you.
What trigged me to initially write this blog was a story about a young girl named Katie Stubblefield, who received a second chance at life. A second chance at life is an extraordinary gift that many do not receive.
She is a suicide survivor and her story is miraculous. It is sad. It is heartbreaking. It is hopeful.
…….that girl is going to and is changing so many lives. I wish her and her family the best in all that they do.
When someone chooses to take their own life it raises many questions and many fingers are pointed due to the horrible and tragic event.
It’s heartbreaking.
We don’t know how to react, we don’t know what we can do…… we begin to ask what are the signs to look for, how can we help these people in our lives that may be hurting…… what if this…what if that…..
Those that are suicidal I can imagine are scared, feeling lonely, numb, confused, feeling unworthy to be present and living…
YOU ARE NEVER ALONE IN THE WAY THAT YOU FEEL
This post is directed to anyone who has had or is having suicidal thoughts. I have faith that this message will find who it needs to find.
I hope this message comes across as genuine and trusting. I know you can overcome this.
You are loved so much. You really are. You are loved so much. I want to emphasize that as much as I can because it is true.
There are so many people that care and love you. Sometimes, it may not feel like you are loved. But you are. We all display love differently and the signals can be hard to interpret. However, the love is there. There are people in your life that want to see you succeed, they want to see be happy, they want to see you smile, they want to see you enjoy all that life has to offer. You are someone’s world whether you choose to believe that or not, you are. They live and do all the things they do because of you. Your existence gives life to those around you. You hold such value, that is why you are here to begin with. You are loved.
Love yourself.
Please love yourself and recognize how much life you have in you. You are loved so much. Believe that because it is true.
THIS PAIN WILL NOT LAST FOREVER
It hurts. It hurts so bad. I know you are in pain and it hurts. I don’t know exactly how you feel and those around you might not know exactly how you feel either. But I can tell you, it may seem like you will never escape this pain you’re in, but you will.
On the other side of your struggles there are great things that await you. This is apart of your journey, you have the strength to push past this.
You have to push past this. There are people that need you, that count on you, that love you, that can’t imagine a life without you. You are strong. There are others who have experienced what you are going through and they conquered THIS…..and they didn’t think they ever could. You will get through this too. Please believe that you will get through it.
Acknowledge it, face it, and conquer it. You are stronger then this pain you feel. You are powerful.
HELP IS AVAILABLE
This battle does not need to be handled by yourself. Do not be afraid to reach out for help. Please reach out. There are so many people that want to lend a helping hand. There are so many resources that offer help and assistance. Those that may have been in a similar situation can provide advice and guidance. Hear them out.
Remember, you are not alone.
The help you need is right there. Do not face this demon by yourself. Reach out to your family, close friends, a support group, a stranger even! Tell someone what you are going through and you will look back, and be so thankful you reached out. Don’t go through this alone, ask for help.
YOU HAVE A PURPOSE
Your existence is a miracle. I will say that again, the fact that you are present in this life, right now……is a miracle. You are a miracle! Your life is a miracle!
You are something so special and so unique. You are a gift to this world and the world needs you.
You make a difference, you have a purpose, there is value in your life. You have been given life and opportunities. Someone looks up to you, someone admires you, someone is wanting your life that you are living. Cherish this life that you have. People are praying to be where you are. Be grateful and recognize this beautiful gift that you have been given.
There is more waiting for you. Have faith and believe in yourself.
I hope you were able to take something from this small message and that in someway it resonates and encourages you to keep seeking the light that is waiting at the end of this hard road. You are being prayed for.
Remember…
YOU ARE LOVED SO MUCH
THIS PAIN WILL NOT LAST FOREVER
HELP IS AVAILABLE
YOU HAVE A PURPOSE
This post found you, take this as a sign that it’s not over. More is waiting for you. One step at a time, you will get through this.
RESOURCES
suicidepreventionlifeline.org
national suicide prevention lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
WAYS YOU CAN HELP
SHARE THIS MESSAGE FOR OTHERS- YOU MAY SAVE A LIFE
“The More That You Read, The More Things You Will Know. The More That You Learn, The More Places You’ll Go.” Dr. Seuss
He has a point……….doesn’t he?!
Below are 5 amazing books that I feel have either strengthened my mindset, allowed me to view things in life in a different perspective, encouraged me to be more aware of my surroundings or lifestyle, and, overall, I would say have helped me with struggles with personal growth or change that I have been seeking in myself.
If you are ever in a standstill in your life, read a book! There are so many lessons to be learned!
I PROMISE YOU WILL GAIN SOMETHING FROM READING THESE BOOKS BELOW
Grab a cup of joe, a warm blanket, and create a space that is comforting. And start reading!
“…you have hidden treasures within you.” – Dale Carnegie
I LOVE all of these books and I look forward to sharing another 5 BOOKS TO READ soon!
If you have read any of these I am curious on your thoughts, if you agree or disagree! I want to hear from you!
Knowledge is power my friend.
tip: Have a highlighter near you, when you come across something that really stands out highlight it! It’s nice to go back and re-read what caught your attention in some way!
1. THE FRED FACTOR- EVERY PERSONS GUIDE TO MAKING THE ORDINARY EXTRAORINDARY BY MARK SANBORN
This book is short and powerful. It’s only 80 pages! However, it withholds SO much value! Who’d of thought of a mailman being so inspiring, YOU WILL WANT TO BE LIKE FRED, I guarantee it. I believe many of us think you need money to make a difference but that is so not the case. This book underlines how you can create value in other peoples lives without paying a dime! It is eye opening and will help you to appreciate where you are right now in your life. If you need help having a positive attitude this is your book to read! I have highlighted so much in this book!
2. HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE- DALE CARNEGIE
Dale……Dale. My man, Dale. This book is absolutely AMAZING and I have learned so much from reading this book. It’s small print with a little over 200 pages. I cannot wait to read more by this author because of the helpfulness and new visions that I have gained from reading his book. This book is so well written and provides such great direction toward having a happy life and being successful in whatever you are doing! If you are in business I would definitely recommend reading this book!
3. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE- DR. DAVID WALTON
This was an interesting and self reflecting read, I really enjoyed getting my mind to think outside the box. This book allowed me to observe myself how others may see me. Not only that, this book helped me to develop more self awareness in myself and how to empathize more with others. We can be so quick to judge sometimes. Not just with others but with ourselves. We are constantly telling ourselves things that aren’t true. We need to be more respectful, mindful, and more patient with all things.
4. RICH DADS CASHFLOW QUADRANT- ROBERT T. KIYOSAKI
Money can be a sensitive topic to most people. To some, its a forbidden subject or not proper to talk about with others. However, this book just lays it all out there which I love. This book helps you to understand the game of money. It helps you to identify which cash quadrant you fall under, and how to get where you want to be financially. Many of us have bad habits with money or we just really don’t know how to handle it. This book will teach you discipline. Hopefully after reading this, money issues will be a thing of the past. I still have a lot to learn! But this is a great start!
5. THE FOUR AGREEMENTS- DON MIGUEL RUIZ
I feel this is a pretty popular book but I can understand why! It is powerful and soulful. You will be transformed with a new way of thinking and living. This book is great for self growth, strengthening your spirituality, and opens the doors to new opportunities. One of my favorite things it talks about is the power of our word. Our words are so powerful and can do so much. You will become incredibly mindful with so many things after reading this book. I highly recommend this one!
SO there ya go! This is a small list but holds such great power if you allow yourself to learn and grow!
“Free Your Mind, And The Rest Will Follow.” – En Vogue
I am currently reading some great books right now that I look forward to sharing soon! IF YOU WANT TO DO AN ACT OF KINDNESS……SHARE THIS FOR ALL THE BOOK LOVERS!
SIDENOTE: If there’s a book you recommend, please comment or message me! I love books that challenge my way of thinking or can promote self growth in any way!
Mmm….coffee and donuts. Have a blessed day! PEACE & LOVE.
(If you haven’t see that movie I just referenced, PLEASE get on that. Very heartfelt and actually very relevant to this post. It’s so good!)
Life is full of surprises……
unfortunately, they don’t all come wrapped up in a giant bow and pretty paper. Damn. They typically come in a storm form; forceful and frightening. I’m sure you can think of a thing or two that has happened in your life that completely caught you off guard. It happens…
When something challenging occurs in your life, it can be very hard to process because they are often unannounced and sudden. You may have even looked up to the sky and asked WHY, why is this happening. You will try your best to understand the reasoning behind an unpredictable occurrence. It’s scary, it is. You have to acknowledge it.
Some things happen without our permission, many things actually, and some things happen based on a single decision that you or someone else may have made.
Hard things happen in life. Really hard things that are unavoidable. We all know that, we all go through them. Some harder then others. Everyone knows the pain of heart break in one form or another.
We are not given things that we cannot handle. When we are down, we have to know that we do have the strength to get back up. You are stronger then you tell yourself. Always remember that.
If you look back and focus for a just moment what those hard things were, or, maybe you are going through something right now.
If you are in a storm right now, I want you to know there are hidden blessings in your hardships. You are being shaped. Believe it and be patient.
Maybe in reflecting, you have noticed a few blessings in disguise in your life.
Reflect right now on some past moments. If the things that happened to you in the past, had not happened, you wouldn’t be where you are right now.
In this present moment, you wouldn’t have the mindset that you do, you wouldn’t have the perspective that you, you wouldn’t appreciate life as much as do.
Hard times in life remind us how fragile and unpredictable life can be.
Typically when we go through tribulations and heartache it changes our way of life. We can easily become lost in those hardships too, which is why it is so important to have a support system when you are going through something difficult in your life. You are not alone in what you go through. Always reach out. Social media makes it so easy to find people who are experiencing what you are experiencing. Please, always reach out.
When someone you know is going through a tough time in their life, you have to do your best to empathize with them. When it comes down to the core you don’t how this hardship is impacting them. Listen, and be there for them.
Our Blessing In Disguise
I want to share with you a moment in my life that was challenging for me. This became one of the best things in my life.
Remember I mentioned how we all know that life is full of surprises. Well, this was definitely a surprise for our family.
Our family went from a family of 3 to a family of 4 very unexpectantly. Our little piece of unpredictable chocolate.
If you read my previous post “Primero Dios” I mention that we just adopted, May of this year. We welcomed to our family permanently this little sassy, curious, messy, little rambunctious, firecracker.
Picture from my previous post “Primero Dios-Find Yourself Through Your Roots” – read it if you haven’t already! This was an amazing experience for me! You’ll know why in that post.
I will tell you, she has brought a whole new level of love into our home.
But let me also tell you…….it wasn’t that simple as first. It wasn’t easy adjusting, it was exhausting, and it was holy freaking cow, HARD. It was hard for ME. I’m not saying this incident would be hard for you too but it was for ME.
Don’t compare hardships with people, it doesn’t do anything. Its not a competition nor should it ever be. We just need to be there for each other.
When my first daughter was ten months I was having a difficult time with all the “motherly” adjustments. I became a stay at home mom, I hardly got to see my friends, I was lonely, and honestly I THOUGHT a ton. Too much. My mind was all over the place. It started a serious soul searching journey for me. But that’s beside the point. That’s another story I’m sure I’ll share eventually.
Motherhood is HARD. For many different reasons. I have definitely had moments where my girls are crying, and I’m crying. I’ve had many humbling moments as a Mother.
HOWEVER, we also know, it’s absolutely amazing and so much fun! You just constantly want to squeeze them and make them laugh and smile. You get sad thinking of them growing up and becoming their own person. But you’re so excited for their future.
It was just me and her. We had our routine. I was not ready for another baby.
What’s so funny though is when I had my first daughter I would pray and pray for patience. “Please GOD give me patience.” over and over again. I would get to frustrated at times and I felt awful that I would get so upset at my baby.
(Wanting six kids in the past……..OUT THE WINDOW. All you moms made this motherhood thing look so easy.)
My prayer was heard……………
GOD was like,
you want patience my child?
BAM! Here’s another child, this will provide the patience that you need!
I was like,
Whoa…..I was praying for patience, not another child. I didn’t understand…
And then God was like,
be patient.
Went from One to Two REAL QUICK on April 8th 2017. This was an Easter photoshoot I did with them. They were the cutest bunnies that I ever did see!
The hardest things in our life will reveal the best things in our life.
In early April of last year I took my daughter to the mall so we could get out of the house.
So much work leaving the house with a baby, right? I laugh at that now. Little did I know, more work was ahead.
As we are driving home I received a phone call. A phone call that pretty much changed everything at that moment. I was asked to pick up my niece because she was being taken away child services. Her story isnot mine to share.
To be honest, this was something that I did not want to get involved with, for many different reasons. My arms already felt so full at the time and then, THIS.
The beginning of my storm. Deciding whether to drive away or face it. Little did I know there was a rainbow waiting for me and my family….
Not all things are black and white. Feel all the emotions, go through the transitions, but know in the end there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
As I was driving home I called my husband who was at work and told him about the phone call that I just received. It turned out he was called too, and he knew already what was going on. He assured me that this wasn’t something that I had to do. Talk about pressure! It was me who had to decide at that moment. I knew I didn’t want to get involved with this, I knew this was going to create conflict and discomfort with many family members. But, I also knew what I had to do.
I was driving home contemplating if I should keep heading home or turn around.
I turned around the car with a crying baby in the back to get another baby. I had to go get her. I had a choice, but was it really a choice?
Now, you might be thinking I can’t believe you were even contemplating and almost didn’t go pick her up. Keep in mind, I’m providing a very, very, very….small glimpse into this situation that occurred.
Challenging moments in someone’s life are personal and not all those are comfortable sharing all their details. Always be respectful of that.
Arriving at the house, many emotions were being felt. Heartbreak and sadness were a few. I literally watched a child be taken away. She went with them, which I had to follow to an office ten minutes away from the house. That type of occurrence is hard for everyone. The ones witnessing it, the ones having to do it, and it is for the parent; my sister in law.
(All incidents and circumstances are different, this one, was especially hard for the parent.)
When children get taken away it’s really easy to blame the parents. Remember when I said, you have to do your best to empathize.
Many factors come into play when shaping who we are. It’s hard to hold things against people when you really don’t know how different you would be, if you had gone through what they went there.
We arrived at the office and my husband ended up leaving work and meeting us there. To put it bluntly, when a child is taken away from home they prefer to place them with family then any one else. Hence, why we were called. If a family member doesn’t take them then they go to a foster family.
I just want to say to those that are foster Moms, foster Dads, foster Siblings, any other foster family members…..you are all incredible. I got a little taste of what you all go through, and I’m just amazed at your work and heart. Truly admirable. All the services and resources that are available for foster children is remarkable. There ARE very good people in this world.
*****When we were at the office our niece (now daughter) was never in our presence*****
My husband and I talked about all of THIS in a small room privately. We literally had to make a split decision. It’s not like we could go home and think about the pros and cons and come back with our minds made up the next day.
If we decided to take her we would have two one year olds. We knew that much.
(They are a month and two weeks apart.) I just kept thinking how hard this was going to be and I didn’t think I could do it. I began thinking how challenging it was with just one baby, and then I’m going to possibly have two and have no preparation for this whatsoever……did I want to take this on?
I also knew the family complications that would be tied to this.
We decided we weren’t going to take her at the moment and to let a foster family watch her.
We tried to view the whole picture and it was a BIG PICTURE which is why we decided that….at first.
Sometimes it seems easier to avoid our feelings, or avoid a situation because we think we are protecting ourselves. However, most of the time we are doing more harm then good.
The caseworker comes in, and we let her know our decision. This particular caseworker actually kept insisting that it may be in our nieces best interest that she start fresh with a new family and that they already had a family for her. We felt this might be the best thing to do.
After our decision was made I asked,
“Can we say good-bye to her before we go?”
She brought her in, still in her carseat. I began to cry. How in the world was I suppose to let this little innocent baby go. This wasn’t her fault at all. She was so helpless. I just couldn’t go through with it.
That one question I asked…..that single question, is what changed everything! Our lives will always be changing in the blink of an eye. Appreciate all moments even the hardships. They transform you.
When we took her home it was HARD. I mean, extremely hard. For us, for her, and for many family members. She was a year old. She knew she wasn’t home. She cried every night, and she suffered from a few issues at the time. It was overwhelming, heartbreaking, and exhausting. As well as awkward and uncomfortable during family gatherings. This whole incident was taking a toll on many family members. We were all adjusting in one way or another.
We eventually began to have a routine and we had SO MUCH fun!
Everyone was happy for us! It wasn’t uncomfortable anymore! We were excited and grateful!
She was a cupcake for Halloween! Cuteness overload!
We also went to Disneyland! Best Friends I tell ya, best friends.
We flew to Florida and played at a splash pad at the zoo. Look how little she was!
We enjoyed holiday festivities together!
Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too! This was her second birthday.
AND WE DID SO MUCH MORE! WE HAD HER FOR A YEAR AND ONE MONTH. THEN SHE BECAME OFFICIALLY OURS MAY 8, 2018.
Having two little girls the same age is beyond amazing! They are best friends! They make each other and everyone else laugh so much! They entertain each other so I can get things done. I am a better mom because of her.
Girl Mom right here, and loving it!
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”
-Forrest Gump
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Our Little Blessing In Disguise, Our Daughter…
THANK YOU FOR READING!
I want to share that life has an interesting way of working out. Discover your blessings in disguise.
When something expected happens in your life, take it on, accept it, embrace it and have faith that things will work out in some way.
Have faith and always PRAY.
I look forward to sharing more lessons life has taught me, and how motherhood and marriage continue to fill my heart up with love!
Comments your thoughts or share! I’d love to hear from you!
“The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest is being happy with what you find.” – unknown
Have you ever felt lost in life. Or possibly unsure of your journey, maybe you feel like your life is in a standstill and you don’t know what to do.
Maybe you feel like there is a part of you that is empty and eager to be fulfilled. We all experience that feeling once in awhile, and for different reasons. We all have a story.
I do believe discovering your roots is a huge step into finding yourself again. Being adopted is what lead me down my path. This is my journey.
Being Adopted made me feel lost, has anything ever made you feel lost?
Do you know anyone that is adopted? Maybe you have a sister or brother that is adopted or maybe even a best friend. Have you ever talked to them about how they are feeling? How being adopted has impacted them….how it has shaped them into who they are. Have they expressed an eager want to meet their biological family to you?
They have possibly accepted that there’s a good chance they will never meet any biological family. If they’ve accepted that, you probably have to. I want to encourage anyone adopted or know anyone in search of family members to take advantage of our technology. Ancestry lead me to mine without even trying.
(My name is Marie. This is actually a selfie I took right before we left to meet my family for the first time. It was my birthday and I was so nervous! I posted this on my Instagram and no one really knew I was doing this except family and a few close friends.)
I’m adopted. I was adopted when I was just infant. I have no memory of the process nor do I remember ever being told I was adopted. I just always knew. My birth mom was not in the best mental state, and my birth father was not a US Citizen. Having just adopted my daughter I can understand and empathize the struggles and toll it takes on everyone through the process. I actually feel very thankful that I was able to experience the process of adopting before actually meeting my bio family.
Life is full of different perspectives. It helps to take a step back, reevaluate your life and ask yourself what is it that you want…
“Perspective is the way we see things when we look at them from a certain distance and it allows us to appreciate their true value.” – Rafael E. Pino
(We officially adopted this little doll 2 months prior to meeting my family! This all couldn’t have happened at a more perfect time! The way she came into our lives permanently is whole different story! Ill save that for another time 😉 . I will say though, she has brought so much joy and happiness into our family. She is a total blessing and I thank God for her. )
Don’t Judge Another Persons Journey -we are all on our own path. Be patient with yours. You may not know what you’re looking for but just start searching.
Please do not feel sorry for me or anyone else that is adopted. Adoption is an amazing thing. Who in the world knows where I would be right now if God didn’t choose this path for me. I am incredibly thankful. But that is a huge reason those that are adopted don’t go off shouting or sharing, “Hey, I’m adopted.” A typical response we get is, “I’m sorry.” Which, I can imagine makes some people feel bad because they are thinking….wow, I cant imagine not knowing who my mom, dad or siblings are. I understand that. But don’t tell an adoptee “I’m sorry.” It makes us feel bad, and afterwhile you keep it to yourself because you’re tired of hearing that. You also get tired of answering questions you really don’t know the answers to….but deep down inside you wish you did know. If you know anyone adopted or adopting get excited for them! Adoption itself it pretty remarkable journey.
Alright, that’s a little backround for you. Now, I will share how this all came to be.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7
Being adopted and not knowing an bio family lead me to wonder a lot about my ethnicity. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have been asked, “What nationality are you?” Many times my reply was “mostly Mexican.” Because well, that’s all I knew and was told. And then, I would be told countless times, “Really, I see middle eastern in you.” Or, I would get asked, “are you middle eastern?” and I would just start saying, “Yes…yes I am.” (hahah) and they would say, “I knew it!” (hahah who knows! At that time I didn’t know!) It became rather funny just making up ethnicities for myself. My friends that knew my life had fun with it too. This all lead me to ask myself then, what the heck am I?! I was told numerous times by my family, “you’re full Mexican” and I would argue saying that I had to be something else because everyone thinks I’m something else. I was convinced and I was just curious. Once I gave birth to my daughter I had to know more about my DNA and background. Not just for myself, but for my daughter and any other possible children I might have in the future.
(My first born. My little answered prayer. Being adopted and never knowing any biological family is what made me actually want to be a Mom so bad. I wanted someone that was apart of me if that makes sense.
To be a Mother became a dream of mine when I was very young and I always feared and asked what if I can’t have children. I’ll never know what that connection feels like….it scared me. You can imagine the emotions I felt holding this little baby that actually shared my DNA. I can’t express how much love and joy this little girl gave me when she was born.)
You have to learn how to control your thoughts and not let your worries and regrets consume you.
For 27 years, I never knew what my ethnicity was, and then, because of ancestry my answer was just a click away. My results read; Native American, Italian, Greek, Iberian……and less then 3% Middle Eastern. Go figure. This was a huge and very exciting thing for me!! I can’t really describe the joy of finding out this information.
Now if you are unfamiliar with the way Ancestry works. Here it is in a nutshell. You order kit, you receive kit, you spit in a tube, you mail it, and then receive results via email in about a month. I currently have access to my detailed DNA and I can see if I have any DNA matches with family members.
Its amazing, I definitely recommend this service even if you are not adopted. Keep in mind, I didn’t do ancestry to find family. I did it to answer a prolonged question that had been nagging me for years. When I received my results the only DNA matches I had at that time were 3rd cousins and below. I did reach out to one of them but we couldn’t nail it down to exactly how we were related. Still in contact with him today via social media.
“Remember and honor family who come and gone before you, because they had a hand in shaping who you are.” – unknown
(A small preview of my DNA results via Ancestry)
Sometimes what you’re looking for in life comes when you’re not looking at all. The unexpected is what changes our lives.
Fast forward about a year and half. I receive an email from Ancestry out of the blue in June of this year. The last time I had visited the Ancestry web was a few months prior. The message read, “Hola Marie! Me sorprendi al obtener mis resultados y ver somos primas en primer grado.”
I don’t know spanish very well, so when I first read that my response was, “que?” haha! Jk…kinda of.
In other words, this translates to, “Hi Marie! I was surprised to get my results and see that we are first cousins.”
I of course messaged her back explaining that I was adopted and didn’t know much about my biological family, just my biological parents name. I provided the name of my bio dad and you know what her response was….”OMG, that is my Mom’s brother!” Crazy right! Strait out of Telenovela! *Where are my Jane the Virgin fans at!*
“Marie’s life now was the stuff of Telenovelas.” -Narrator
MI PRIMA! (MY COUSIN! The one that set this all up! AND our first selfie. )
She proceeded to answer any questions I had and let me know how huge our family was. It was incredible. We exchanged numbers and just began texting. It was overwhelming and emotional for both us in different ways. By the end of that day, my whole family knew of me and my cousin finding me via ancestry. Which BTW was completely by accident! She joined ancestry for a whole different reason! She basically demanded that we need to visit and that everyone wanted to meet me. Especially those family members that actually knew about me since the day I was born. The only thing was almost all of my family resided in Tijuana, Mexico. A complete foreign place to me. I was being asked to bring my husband and daughters to a part of Mexico I’ve never been…. with people that I have never met. I was very hesitant as you can imagine.
After many texts exchanges we agreed on a date and time to travel to see everyone. We would meet in San Diego and then go from there.
“Have faith in your journey. Everything had to happen exactly as it did to get you where you’re going next!” -Mandy Hale
(I had butterflies the whole time driving to California from Arizona)
I kept thinking to myself is this real life, is this really happening? Am I really going to go through with this? Something that I thought would never happen or even planned on happening was HAPPENING!
I let my family and closest friends know my plans and I could tell they were thinking this whole ordeal was a little crazy. Probably thinking, this is dangerous. Yes, they are my family, but at this point they were still strangers as well. I was definitely reminded that countless times by close people in my life.
My husband surprisingly was never worried. I began to think all these what ifs…..and it really freaked me out. I became scared and untrusting, thinking of all these different scenarios. I actually reached out to my cousin and allowing her to know that I was nervous and scared. Her response to my fear was so genuine and so assuring I knew I had to go through with this.I told my fear to shut the eff up!
“Go find yourself first, so you can find me.” -Rumi
Long story short…WE DID IT! We ended up traveling to San Diego and agreed to meeting at a fun little Italian Restaurant before traveling to Mexico together the following day. I ate way to much bread with oil and vinegar. Remember I mentioned it was my birthday too! Talk about an amazing birthday present! I got to meet my family! We hit it off instantly! Thank God my husband nor myself said the word, “biscuit.” That was our code word in case we had to make a run for it. Come on now, of course we thought about them kidnapping us.
(Waiting in front of Buca di Beppo to meet my cousin for the first time! Excited!)
The interaction was so great we decided to go through with staying the night with them! Close your mouth, its not that crazy, is it?! Her family is amazing! Now I am just reminiscing how great of an experience this was and so thankful I trusted God for this gift of meeting my family. I know this was a gift. I just do.
The best things in life are on the other side of terror.
The following morning we all piled into an SUV and traveled to VIVA LA MEXICO! Oh my gosh it was amazing!! We were scheduled to meet the whole family at 1pm for a gathering. Beforehand we ate some delicious food, they showed us around the city, and we took some fun pictures. One being on a donkey painted like a Zebra. Check it out!
“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” – Mother Theresa
BREAKFAST! Mmmm……que rico!
Yummy Treats
Talk about awesome architecture! I swear, sometimes I look at things and I’m like, “Man made that….”. My husbands typically laughs at me.
Look at this beautiful church. Its an open church, there was actually a funeral going on when we walked by. Anyone can go in during any ceremony. Whatever service you have done at this Catholic Church is welcomed to anyone.
I really enjoyed the markets while visiting! Very authentic and captivating.
A Downtown Mall…very cool and original. It was almost like a maze.
Crickets anyone? I’m not kidding, the ones on the left are crickets! No gracias!
OH HEY! It’s the DONKEY I mentioned! Hey Ruben!
In finding yourself you will have moments you can’t put into words.
The afternoon came closer and we began to make our way to my Uncles house. Butterflies began to swarm in my belly. I was about to meet a group of Uncles, Aunts, and Cousins. I was about to meet the people I always wondered about. I was about to have a dream become a reality, and my husband and daughters got to share this amazing moment with me.
This was so special to me I’m getting choked up just writing this. I felt alone so many times not knowing these people, curious as to the characteristics that run in the family, facial features that I picked up, and inherited traits that I may have acquired. This moment was very surreal.
Some of my Cousins! (Primas)
We had gorditas for lunch. These were being made while we sat around a table just laughing and crying! Like I said before, this was very emotional for all of us. The food was SOOOOOO GOOD! I’m craving some now!
Everything you will come to you at the right moment, be patient and always be grateful.
Many smiles, many hugs, many laughs, plenty of happy tears and plenty of food happened that afternoon. My face even got pushed into a cake! But I’m not sharing that picture! The love that was surrounding all of us that day is indescribable. This moment I shared, was something I will treasure forever and I already cant wait to plan our next trip and see my family! Hope you all enjoyed getting to know me a little better.
Special thanks to for its amazing service and countless opportunities. Thanks to my cousin and her family for arranging this gathering and taking a leap of faith to allow us into their lives. Huge thanks to my family and friends that supported this adventure and kept us in their prayers. And one more huge thank you to my family in Tijuana that welcomed us with loving arms and took such great care of us! Love you all!
SOME OF YOU might be asking wait….did she meet her birth dad or does she know anything about her birth mom? Does she have other siblings out there too?
I guess you’ll have to wait and see.
Embrace the Journey, Embrace Change, Embrace life. Go Find Yourself. Know Your Roots.
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Thank you for taking your time to read some of my journey! As my family says,
“Primero Dios!” If God wants it to happen, it will happen.
Tijuana, Mexico
The Wild Gems 