Category: grains of sand

Unpeeling the Layers: Beginning Shadow Work

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“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung

We all have parts of ourselves that we hide — not because they’re bad, but because somewhere along the way, we were taught they shouldn’t exist, or we felt embarrassed or shame.

The truth is, your “shadow” isn’t evil. It’s simply the unseen — the pieces of you that crave your love and understanding.

A huge part of my very own shadow work has been working through the trauma of being adopted. Emotions and feelings that I battled internally by myself.

Healing takes time; remember that.

What Is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the practice of bringing light to those unseen parts.

It’s about facing your fears, triggers, insecurities, and buried emotions with honesty and compassion.

When you do, something incredible happens:

what once controlled you from the dark begins to heal in the light.

Shadow work isn’t about fixing yourself — it’s about remembering yourself. It’s about making the connections.

How to Begin Shadow Work

1. Create a safe space

Find a quiet place where you can be fully honest. Light a candle, journal, or simply sit in reflection. Shadow work requires gentleness and patience — you’re opening emotional layers that have been closed for a reason.

2. Observe your triggers

Notice what upsets, annoys, or frustrates you in others.

These moments are mirrors — reflections of something within you asking to be seen. Instead of judging the feeling, get curious about it.

3. Meet your emotions without judgment

When anger, jealousy, or sadness arises, don’t push it away. Ask it what it’s trying to show you. Often, our strongest emotions lead directly to our deepest wounds.

4. Journal through the layers

Writing can help you uncover truths you didn’t know you were hiding. Be honest, messy, and real — no one ever has to read it.

Shadow Work Prompts to Begin

• What emotion do I avoid feeling the most, and why?

• What do I criticize most in others that might live within me too?

• What parts of myself do I struggle to accept or show to the world?

• When do I feel unworthy, and where did that belief begin?

• What am I still holding resentment about, and what lesson might be hidden inside it?

• What situations make me feel small, and who taught me that shrinking was safer?

• What am I afraid people would think if they truly knew me?

• What does my inner child need from me right now?

• In what ways do I self-sabotage when things start going well?

• If my pain could speak, what would it say?

Remember: You Are the Light and the Shadow

Shadow work isn’t about becoming “perfect.” It’s about wholeness — learning to hold both the light and the dark with love. Yin and yang.

Each layer you peel back reveals more truth, more compassion, more freedom.

Healing begins the moment you stop running from yourself and start listening.

The Real Reason We Don’t Have World Peace (And How We Can Find It Within)

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“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” – Albert Einstein

We talk about world peace as if it’s something out there — a dream we keep chasing but can’t quite reach. Yet maybe the reason we can’t find peace in the world is because we haven’t yet found it within ourselves.

Government shutdowns, wars, and constant divisions are only mirrors of a deeper human truth: we are disconnected. From each other. From nature. From the still voice inside us that remembers what really matters.

The Surface of Conflict

On the surface, countries fight over land, money, and power. Politicians argue over who’s right. But beneath it all lies the same root cause: fear.

Fear of losing control. Fear of not being enough. Fear of not being heard.

When fear leads, compassion fades. And when compassion fades, peace cannot survive.

The Inner War

The world is simply a reflection of the collective inner world of its people.

So many of us carry anger, guilt, resentment, or unhealed wounds — and those emotions ripple outward. We argue, we judge, we close our hearts. It’s no wonder nations do the same.

The truth is, world peace begins with inner peace.

When you choose to forgive someone instead of holding onto pain… when you pause before reacting in anger… when you take a breath instead of shouting back — you shift the frequency of the world around you.

That’s not just poetic. It’s energetic law.

The Forgotten Connection

We’ve been taught to see differences instead of similarities — race, religion, gender, politics. But beyond those layers, we are made of the same dust, the same breath, the same light.

When you look into someone’s eyes and see yourself reflected there, peace is already happening.

We forget that we are not separate waves crashing against each other — we are the same ocean, simply moving in different forms.

The Hope That Still Lives

World peace might never come from a treaty or a politician’s promise.

It might come from something much quieter — the mother teaching her children to be kind, the friend who listens without judgment, the stranger who offers a smile when you need it most.

Every small act of love is a piece of peace.

And when enough of us find peace inside ourselves, the world will no longer have a choice but to reflect it back.

Understanding Your Luteal Phase: The Inner Autumn of Your Cycle And How To Honor This Season

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Your inner Autumn is the luteal phase of your cycle — the days after ovulation and before your period (one or two weeks before you begin).

Just like the season, it’s a time of slowing down, turning inward, and releasing what you no longer need. You may feel more sensitive, reflective, or craving rest. It’s your body’s way of preparing for renewal.

What’s Happening in Your Body

After you ovulate, your body begins to produce more progesterone, a hormone that helps prepare your uterus for a possible pregnancy. If no fertilized egg implants, hormone levels eventually drop, signaling your body that it’s time to shed the uterine lining — which becomes your period.

This phase usually lasts around 10–14 days. (as mentioned one to two before your period. Side note: every woman’s body is different. Some may last longer or shorter.)

How You Might Feel

As hormones shift, it’s normal to notice changes both physically and emotionally. Some common experiences during the luteal phase include:

•Feeling more tired or sensitive

• Bloating or breast tenderness

• A stronger need for rest and reflection

• Cravings for comfort foods

• Desire for alone time or quiet

• Moody/Irritable

• The need to clean or organize

You may also notice that while your energy is lower, your intuition and emotional awareness become stronger. This is a beautiful time to reflect, tidy up loose ends, and nurture yourself.

How To Honor Your ‘Inner Autumn’ As A Woman – Luteal Phase

1. Slow the pace

Say gentle “no’s” to things that drain you. Schedule fewer social plans and more cozy, restorative time. Allow yourself to rest without guilt — this is nature’s built-in reset.

2. Nourish your body

Eat warm, grounding foods: roasted vegetables, soups, oats, root veggies, and herbal teas (especially cinnamon, ginger, and chamomile). Focus on complex carbs and magnesium-rich foods (like bananas, dark chocolate, nuts, and leafy greens) to ease PMS and support calm. Stay hydrated, especially if you tend to bloat or get constipated.

3. Nurture your emotions

Journal what’s coming up — your luteal phase often reveals what’s not aligned in your life. Be gentle with yourself; your sensitivity is heightened for a reason. Create small rituals of comfort (warm bath, candlelight, quiet evenings).

4. Support your energy

Choose slower, grounding movement like yoga, stretching, or walking. Prioritize sleep and listen to your body’s cues to rest earlier. Practice breathwork or meditation to calm mental chatter.

5. Spiritually honor it

See this time as your “inner autumn” — a season of release, reflection, and preparation for renewal. Ask yourself: What am I ready to let go of before my new cycle begins? Light a candle or take a mindful moment each evening to thank your body for all it’s doing.

Your luteal phase is a teacher — it asks for presence, patience, and trust in your natural rhythms.

When you honor it, you often notice fewer PMS symptoms, more emotional clarity, and a deeper sense of peace with your body.

The Spotlight Effect: Realizing No One’s Watching as Closely as You Think

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“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

Have you ever replayed something you said in your head over and over — wondering if you sounded awkward, if someone noticed your mistake, or if you embarrassed yourself?

That’s the spotlight effect at work, the belief that others are paying far more attention to us than they really are.

What the Spotlight Effect Really Is

Psychologists call it the spotlight effect because we tend to imagine we’re standing under a bright light — with everyone’s eyes fixed on us.

But in truth, most people are too busy standing under their own spotlight, worrying about their own words, appearance, or choices.

It’s a kind of shared illusion — we’re all thinking the same thing:

“They must have noticed.”

When in reality, everyone’s thinking, “I hope they didn’t notice me.”

Why We Feel This Way

It’s human.

Our minds are wired for self-awareness — it helps us stay connected and accepted.

But when that awareness turns into over-awareness, we start shrinking ourselves to avoid judgment that rarely exists.

We hold back from sharing our ideas, trying new things, or simply being ourselves — because we think the world is watching.

But here’s the truth:

Most people are moving through their own lives, their own insecurities, their own thoughts.

You are the main character in your story — not theirs.

A Gentle Shift in Perspective

The next time you feel self-conscious, pause and ask:

“What if no one’s actually watching? What if I’m free to be exactly who I am?”

When you release the imagined audience, life softens.

You start laughing louder, speaking more honestly, and showing up as your authentic self.

And ironically — that’s when people are most drawn to you, not because you’re perfect, but because you’re real.

✨ Journal Challenge: Step Out of the Spotlight

Prompt:

When was the last time I held myself back because I worried about what others might think?

What might I do differently if I truly believed no one was judging me?

Write your answers, then whisper the mantra:

“I am free to be seen, as I am.”

When you realize the spotlight was never really there, you stop performing and start living.

And that freedom?

It’s the kind of light that doesn’t shine on you… it shines from you.

The Trap of Memetic Desires: Learning to Want What’s Truly Yours

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“We are not merely influenced by others — we are shaped by what they desire.”

– René Girard

Have you ever wanted something simply because someone else seemed to?

A certain lifestyle, job, relationship, or version of happiness — one that didn’t even cross your mind until you saw it shining in someone else’s hands?

That’s what philosopher René Girard called a memetic desire; a desire we absorb rather than originate.

It’s when our wants aren’t born from within, but borrowed from the world around us.

How Mimicry Shapes Desire

As children, we learn by imitation. We mimic how others talk, dress, and behave. But Girard suggested that imitation runs deeper than action — it shapes desire itself.

We don’t just copy what others do; we copy what they want.

And in a world overflowing with highlight reels, that’s a powerful and often dangerous thing.

Think about it:

You scroll through social media and suddenly feel drawn to a certain aesthetic or lifestyle you never cared about before. You hear your peers talking about success, and suddenly your definition of “enough” changes. You see two people in love online, and suddenly you’re not sure if you want love or just the image of it.

That’s the quiet pull of mimetic desire — subtle, yet powerful.

Recognizing the Signs

You might be caught in the current of memetic desire if:

You feel restless or “behind” after seeing others’ achievements. You chase things that look good on the outside but don’t feel right inside. Your desires change rapidly based on who you’re around or what you consume.

Memetic desires are like mirrors — they reflect others’ longings until we mistake them for our own.

🌱 Returning to Your Authentic Desires

The good news is, once you see the pattern, you can step outside it.

Here are a few ways to return home to your true desires:

1. Pause before you pursue.

Ask yourself: When did I start wanting this?

Did this desire come from a quiet inner pull, or from seeing someone else with it?

2. Sit in stillness.

Your authentic desires don’t shout — they whisper. Create space for silence, journaling, prayer, or time in nature.

When the noise fades, the truth emerges.

3. Listen to your body.

Memetic desires create tension and chasing. Authentic ones feel peaceful and grounded — even if they ask for courage.

4. Define success for yourself.

Write down what a “fulfilled life” truly means to you — not what society defines as success.

Revisit it often to stay anchored.

5. Surround yourself with grounded souls.

We absorb the energy of those around us. Stay close to people who value depth over display.

The Gift of Awareness

The moment you become aware of memetic desire, it loses its power.

You begin to want less of what glitters — and more of what’s real.

You start noticing how much peace lives in authenticity.

Because at the end of the day, your soul didn’t come here to copy.

It came to remember itself.

“You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.” – John Mason

The Importance of Releasing Built-Up Energy

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“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.” – Mark Twain

I was sitting outside this morning, sipping coffee as a gentle rain shower passed through. Lightning flickered across the sky, thunder rumbled in the distance, and I was struck by how beautiful it all was. That simple moment sent me down a little “Google trail” of facts about thunder, lightning, and their connection with the earth. The more I read, the more amazed I felt by how deeply nature is woven together and how much of that connection we often overlook.

It reminded me of something from many years ago, when I worked at the bank. One of the first lessons they taught us about working with customers was this: you must create a connection before offering advice. That connection built trust, and with trust came a relationship.

Without it, nothing meaningful could take root.

Isn’t the same true with our Mother Earth? How important it is to slow down, notice her rhythms, and take the time to build connection. With connection comes care, and with care comes relationship.

When thunder shakes the earth, we are reminded that even the sky must let go. Storms don’t appear out of nowhere, they build from heat, pressure, and imbalance. Eventually, the energy becomes too great to hold, and nature finds its release through lightning and thunder.

This release isn’t destructive by design. It’s restorative. The rain nourishes the soil. The air cools. The atmosphere resets. Without the storm, the earth would stay tense, suffocated by pressure that has nowhere to go.

We are no different.

Each of us carries storms inside; emotions we bottle up, words we don’t say, grief we don’t grieve. Like the sky, we can only hold so much. When we refuse to release what weighs on us, it doesn’t disappear; it hides in our bodies, our thoughts, our relationships. The pressure builds until it finds a way out; sometimes in anger, sometimes in tears, sometimes in illness.

But when we allow release — a cry, a deep conversation, a prayer, a long walk, a creative expression — we restore balance. We clear space for peace, for clarity, for renewal.

Just as thunder reminds us the earth is alive and in motion, our own release reminds us we are living, feeling beings. And letting go is not weakness. It’s wisdom.

Because in both nature and life, release is what makes room for growth.

Ways to Release Built-Up Energy

Journaling – Write freely, without judgment, letting your emotions pour onto the page.

Movement – Dance, stretch, walk, or shake your body to let energy flow out physically.

Crying or Laughing – Both are natural releases the body uses to reset and heal.

Breathwork – Deep, intentional breathing can calm the nervous system and move stuck energy.

Prayer or Meditation – Offer what you’re holding onto to God/the universe, releasing it into something greater than yourself.

Creative Expression – Paint, sing, garden, or create in any form that feels like release.

Speaking It Aloud – Share your feelings with a trusted friend, partner, or even speak them in solitude — the act of voicing brings relief.

Reflection Question:

What energy are you still holding onto that is ready to be released — and how might you allow yourself a healthy “thunderstorm” so that renewal can follow?

You Are You Hang Out With – Your Circle Should Inspire You, Not Drain You

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“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” – Unknown

Who we spend time with shapes how we think, speak, and act. The people closest to us leave quiet fingerprints on our soul. Their words, habits, and outlook slowly weave into our own. When someone’s anger, negativity, or chaos becomes a regular soundtrack in your life, it slowly rewires your responses. That’s not just theory , it’s practical wiring: we pick up habits, tones, and rhythms from the people around us.

This truth isn’t about cutting people off in cruelty. It’s about wisdom; a guardrail for the heart. Protecting your peace allows you to become the person you are called to be. Sometimes that means creating distance from those who stir drama, and sometimes it means setting different boundaries for your own good.

Like trees sharing roots beneath the soil, we are more connected to those around us than we realize. That’s why boundaries are an act of love; for yourself, for your family, and even for the other person. Enabling unhealthy patterns rarely helps anyone heal.

Practical Steps

• Notice whose emotional tone you carry home. Set a gentle boundary (shorter visits, later pick-ups, less sharing).

• Choose circle-keepers who model what you want to become.

• Offer compassion from a distance: pray for people you can’t be close to right now.

Why Is It So Uncomfortable to Actually Feel?

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Letting yourself feel sounds simple. But it’s not.

It’s one of the bravest and most uncomfortable things we can do.

Because feeling means facing. And most of us have spent years—maybe even decades—trying to avoid the very things our hearts most need to acknowledge.

So much of life teaches us to stay busy, stay numb, stay “fine.” We learn early on that some feelings are too big, too messy, too inconvenient. We tuck them away. We get good at holding ourselves together. We smile when we’re sad. We shrug off pain. We keep moving.

But at some point, the ache catches up to us.

And we realize that what we’ve been avoiding isn’t going away—it’s waiting to be felt.

That’s when the discomfort sets in. Not because we’re doing something wrong… but because we’re doing something deeply right. We’re unlearning a lifetime of emotional suppression. We’re learning to be honest again—with ourselves.

And that honesty? It cracks us open.

It’s scary because real feeling is raw. It makes us vulnerable. It can make us feel out of control. But the truth is, we’re never more in tune with ourselves than when we allow the feeling to move through us—fully and freely.

Even joy can feel uncomfortable if we’re used to waiting for it to vanish. Even peace can feel strange if chaos has been our baseline.

But you were made to feel.

You were not made to carry it all in silence.

You were not made to keep bracing for impact.

You were made to breathe through it. To soften. To release.

Feelings are not enemies. They are messages.

They are waves—not tsunamis.

They come to move, not to drown you.

Letting yourself feel is not weakness—it’s courage.

It’s coming home to your heart.

“If The World Was Blind……”

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Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

A quote I think of often goes something like,

“If the whole world was blind, except you, you would live your life a whole lot differently.”

I don’t remember where or when I heard this, although I know it’s been awhile.

And so when I’m experiencing something I do think of this quote often and I think how could I explain or describe this to a blind person.

Because let’s say I did live in that world, where the whole world was blind except me…..it most definitely would be different.

I wouldn’t be like, “oh the sunset is so pretty today, it’s pink, orange, and shades of purple.” The people wouldn’t know what I was talking about it.

So everything would be more poetic and feeling. I may say, “tonight’s sunset is so beautiful. Looking at this sunset is like,

….that one kiss. That one kiss when you were 15 and didn’t really know what you were doing but it was amazing. You walked into your house with a huge grin on your face and magic in your young heart. The sunset looks like that; youthful, bright, warm, present.”

We don’t realize how much we do for status, or perception. Or how much deeper we can get with things that we can experience and looking at things beyond the physical.

That quote really made me realize that and I love it for that.

I would most definitely still be blogging one hundred percent because blind people can read.

But I probably wouldn’t wear make up anymore lol.

Don’t Underestimate the Power of a Well-Timed Break

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In a world that glorifies hustle and productivity, taking a break can feel like a luxury—maybe even a weakness. But the truth is, rest is not just a pause from progress; it’s an essential part of it. Just like the seasons, we’re not meant to be in constant motion. Even nature understands the importance of stillness.

Take trees, for example. In the winter, they appear lifeless—bare branches standing still against the cold. But beneath the surface, something remarkable is happening. Their roots stretch deeper, gathering strength. Their energy is reserved, stored, and redirected for future growth. The dormancy of winter isn’t stagnation; it’s preparation. And when spring arrives, they bloom with renewed vitality.

We could learn a lot from the trees.

We push ourselves to keep going, believing that if we stop, we’ll fall behind. We ignore exhaustion, replace rest with caffeine, and convince ourselves that burnout is just part of the process. But when we refuse to pause, we rob ourselves of the restoration we need to thrive.

A well-timed break isn’t laziness—it’s strategy. It allows the mind to reset, the body to recover, and the soul to breathe. It’s in those moments of stillness that clarity emerges, creativity reignites, and energy returns.

So, don’t underestimate the power of stepping back. Take the nap. Close the laptop. Step outside. Embrace the quiet. You are not failing by resting—you are preparing. And just like the trees, when your next season of growth comes, you’ll be ready.