Tag: thoughts

Dear Readers: I Can’t Sleep

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Sometimes I have nights like this.

Where I just sit awake while the rest of my family sleeps soundly. It’s so quiet right now. Any movement seems to leave an echo. Typically when these kinds of nights happen it’s because I have so much on my mind. My brain just can’t digest all these thoughts and feelings. Anxiety is looking for attention.

I brought this upon myself though. When you’re reading a book about death and experiences of those in hospice and their last moments it’s bound to take a toll on you. I feel anchored at the moment. These stories that I have been reading…… I can’t even find the right words. They make my heart ache, literally, but they also inspire me so deeply. I’m in a trance. It’s like walking through dark woods but discovering undiscovered fruit.

It’s so beautiful. These stories. Life amazes me. Humans amaze me. This experience of life is just miraculous and incredibly surreal when I acknowledge it. How is all of this possible? How are there so many patterns? What does it all really mean? Questions we won’t get in this lifetime, I don’t think, but it’s fun to wonder about. I feel chosen in a way.

Sometimes I feel alone in these thoughts. I know I’m not but sometimes it feels that way. How does this world not recognize how insane all of this is. There’s an acceptance I guess, while I’m still asking so many questions and searching for answers. I am one who believes though that world peace is very possible.

But it takes each individual to deeply look inside themselves. To want to better themselves. Swallow our pride and admit our faults. And continue to love and persevere. And you know, some don’t know how to love. There is pain deep in their roots. That is true.

It is up to us however to show them love, that we may liberate and heal those souls who are hurting and hiding. But it’s more than loving, it’s also just listening. Some just want to be heard and understood.

Isn’t that what we all really want?

– m.g.

Dear Readers: I’m Having A Motherhood Moment

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I’m currently reading a new read and it’s already making me teary eyed. I rather not share the title. I feel like it’s a bit morbid and possibly triggering. But as I’m reading I put the book down and I just think about how much I love my children. I think about how all my choices have them in mind.

Motherhood changed me.

It wasn’t about me any more, it was about them. I understood how important my role was and whether I am a “good mother” or “bad mother” that I was going to play a huge role in their life.

That’s a lot of pressure. Becoming aware how much I would be influencing my children…. just really stressed me out. And it still does sometimes. I may say or do something and then think, “great, did I just scar my kid.” I knew I was going to make mistakes. And I know I’ll continue to make mistakes. You just hope the good outweighs the bad.

Everything I do now is for my children though. Bettering myself is for them. Even when I go spend time with my friends I do it for them in hopes they will recognize that it’s important to do things for yourself too.

This is a role that I know was meant for me. I’ve known since I was a child really. More than anything I couldn’t wait to become a mother.

Before I was even a mother my worst fear was that I wouldn’t be a mother. How badly I wanted this, but also how much of this yearning felt like a calling. I just knew I needed to be a mom.

I just pray a lot. I try to anyway. I remind myself to pray without ceasing because truthfully I don’t know. I don’t know how this will all play out. I feel like a child in this world with so many questions. How there’s so much beauty but also so much sadness. And the sadness seems amplified when you’re a mother.

I have to trust that everything will be as it needs to be. That it will all be okay. And I do believe that.

My children reveal their innocence to me daily, and how badly I just want to protect them and shield them from the nightmares of this world. However sooner or later the truth will begin to unravel and I know many fears will begin to set in. And that breaks my heart.

I work on my bravery for them. I want to be the best example for them. It’s so hard though. So many answers I do not have. But I just know and believe that if my children have a strong faith and spirituality then they will be okay. They will persevere and they will choose love always.

The only way that may be possible is if I have a strong faith to pass to them. I work on understanding and becoming closer to God so that I may be the one to introduce them to that door that will lead to many beautiful things. I believe so much that our relationship with the high power is crucial in this life.

Do I have my doubts sometimes, of course I do. But my children have doubts in me sometimes too. So am I really any different?

I want to lead them to a life where they feel constant love and assurance. When they are feeling afraid they can close their eyes and pass it to God. I want them to find comfort easily and to develop compassion for all.

So many wishes for my children. I know I’m kind of rambling. But sometimes you just have to share your thoughts and be vulnerable. Admit that your afraid at times and share that you don’t know everything.

How I just want them to know how much I love them, but does a child ever really know how much a parent loves them?

With love,

m.g.

A Word Of Encouragement Goes A Long Way

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Encouragement is defined as, “the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.”

Encouraging another human being doesn’t cost a thing but it gives them more than anything. It can be life changing for some!

A small act of encouragement pushes people, gives them strength, reassures them, gives them something to hold onto and maybe even fight for…..especially during challenging and sorrowful times.

Even a smile is an act of encouragement.

Don’t fall into the common trap of belittling yourself and your capabilities. You are power.

You can save lives and you DO save lives. You may not know exactly how, but does that really matter? You influence others more than you know. That’s something to think about.

Who knows what doors you have opened for others.

Know in your heart you make a difference. Pass on the love, pass on the encouragement, pass on the hope. The world needs it.

The world needs you.

– m.g.

There Are Many Who Believe In You, You Just Don’t Believe In Yourself Yet

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Awhile back now I was researching how some baby birds learn how to fly. The reason I was reading into the process to begin with was because an author of one of my devotional books tied the development of baby birds learning how to fly to personal growth.

I just absolutely loved it and it resonated in such a way. What a great metaphor that many can relate to! Such a different perspective to perceive.

Think of a baby bird for a moment will you, all cozy and comfy in their little nest. The nest is harmless, and it’s very familiar. It’s all the baby bird knows really. Mama feeds and provides for them there, and they feel safe.

Then one day, mama bird just starts throwing her babies out of the nest! What a far drop too! I’m not kidding either, she tosses them out and I imagine her saying, “todays the day!” I found this fascinating! I had no idea!

There comes a time where mama knows it’s time. If she’s not throwing them out she’s gently nudging her precious babies out of the nest. There’s no bargaining with the mama.

The baby bird I’m sure is TERRIFIED, like what is going on!! Is my mom trying to kill me! She must hate me! But the mama bird doesn’t feel that way at all. In fact, she does this because she LOVES her babies. She KNOWS that her baby needs to learn how to fly for survival. Because there will come a time when she knows she will longer be there for her baby and she needs to know that they will be okay.

She knows her babies to need to fly and her bird friends know it. The baby bird is the only one saying, “mama No, later later! I’ll learn later. I’m not ready!”

But guess what….

Push comes to shove and the baby bird FLYS. The baby bird finally believes in itself as the mother always has and chooses to opens its wings. The baby bird trusts in his mom that there’s a reason behind this.

Life is very much like this. It never waits for us to be ready. Because truth be told, we never will be. We are too cozy in our nests.

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If you have been thrown out of “the nest”’in someway….if you’ve been taken outside what you know and you’re scared and frightened this may actually be an unprepared flight lesson.

Who’s knows why this is happening, but there may something that you need to learn. The time is now. And this frightening experience will benefit you, as it does the baby birds. Questioning it will not do anything.

You will later realized that you HAD to be thrown out in order to learn how to fly.

Oh I hope this all makes sense. Ponder it a bit.

What I want you to know is that God believes in you, the universe believes in you, many others believe in you……. people believe in you and see your potential (they always have) , it’s time to believe in yourself and to not be afraid of the falls from the nest. You were born to fly, that’s what those wings are for.

Welcome the push and shoves with bravery and perseverance. It’s normal to be afraid but once you push through that fear who knows what you’ll see and capabilities you’ll discover.

Who knows where your wings will take you……

Beautiful places, that I’m sure. No need to be afraid. Trust, always.

-m.g.

It’s Time To Stop Mediating On Things That Haven’t Even Happened…..Or Are Even Happening

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We poison ourselves with these types of thoughts and non-existent scenarios. Our minds have the power to liberate us or to imprison us.

When we begin to ruminate on things that haven’t even happened, we begin to believe that it HAS HAPPENED or will eventually happen. We self sabotage ourselves, our relationships, and end up causing pain that didn’t even need to exist to begin with.

Unfortunately, we allow these types of meditations to thrive, to develop, and they could destruct us and those around us.

When you feel yourself dwelling in events that haven’t even happened, stop and recognize that it’s just a thought. Then, shoo it away.

Controlling your mind/ thoughts doesn’t happen over night, it’s a conscious effort that you have to work towards everyday.

It’s time to develop a shield to protect you from this type of thinking.

Whatever thoughts you may be meditating on, there may be something deeper as to why you’re dwelling on those thoughts.

But in the meantime when you feel those thoughts creeping in, acknowledge them and then just shoo them away like you would a fly.

Stay focused on the present and what’s in front of you right now.

Lots of love.

– m.g.

Give Yourself Permission To Be Still

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We are busy humans living in a very fast paced world.

There’s always something we have to do, to prepare, to clean, to organize, some event to attend, etc.

I often thing of the song by Alabama,

I’m in a hurry to get things done
I rush and rush until life’s no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die, but
I’m in a hurry and don’t know why

We are so conditioned to be busy that if when we aren’t busy we are uncomfortable. We become bored or even anxious because we are so use to always being occupied with something.

We have to seek something to do to keep us busy and distracted. I believe many of us feel that if we aren’t doing something then we aren’t being productive. Society highly influences this.

The problem with that is if we are constantly go go go guess what happens?

We become burnt out my friends! Agitation becomes our shadow. And that’s not good for anyone who is near us. That’s not the kind of energy that we want causing ripple effects.

This quest to accomplish starts once we are born. It’s not enough to just be. We are already being judged on what we can do and can’t do. There are milestones for every month/year. We’re always being watched and compared. It makes sense why we are so concerned what others think about us.

If certain milestones are not hit, we panic and become overly concerned. I just want to say there’s nothing wrong with being a late bloomer. Plenty of people in history by the way fall under that category and it should encourage you.

As you get older it just constantly feels like one thing after another. You think to yourself, when am I just going to get a break? And the truth I think is….we never really will until we just begin to take breaks. That’s life. That’s just how life is and the sooner you realize that, the better. Don’t forget about yourself.

YOU, have to make time and effort to sit still, to be still. To do nothing once in awhile and just breathe. There’s always going to be something. Some hurdle to overcome. And often times it takes something to make us stop in our tracks and just be still. And it shouldn’t be like that. We should be encouraged to notice the details in the present and not always driven to reach “new levels”.

Maybe you had a surgery, or you’re not feeling good and you’ve been told to have bed rest, maybe you broke your foot, etc…….you don’t need THIS or THESE types of things to happen in order to sit still, to soul search, to read a book, to enjoy the sunset, to try something new for yourself, to RELAX, to surrender. You can give yourself a moment to be still whenever you want. Truly, it’s your choice.

You’re multitasking, giving yourself all these things to do and the only thing you’re doing is stressing yourself out. And something I’ve realized is we are typically making ourselves stressed out for other people! Who really don’t care as much as we believe! Give yourself some grace and others.

Take a moment and be still for yourself. Give yourself permission.

Do it for YOU. Life is quick and feels more quick when you’re always busy. Slow it down and practice just being.

Not every thing needs to be done today, this week, this month. Notice the little details and seek the beauty that can’t be reached when you’re moving quickly.

Walk sometimes instead of always running. Less busy, more stillness and slow pace. When your driving a car you don’t whip the steering wheel to turn right or left. You gently turn the steering wheel with ease to change the direction of your vehicle. It’s okay to move slowly and be still. As long as you keep going.

You’re a miracle all by yourself. Remember that always.

m.g.

Soften The Heart: Devotional #6

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“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, That it may give seed to the sower, And bread to the eater,

So shall My word be that goes forth, From My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

Isaiah 55:10-11

How wonderful is it when it rains after a long, stretched out drought. The animals and plants rejoice and dance together. Farmers thank the heavens. Rivers begin to flow effortlessly. The dust is pressed into the soft ground and what lingers is an incredbily crisp air that cleanses our lungs. The aroma of earth is fresh and ever so craving. When it rains for consecutive days, nature becomes fuller. Do you notice that? That is something you can see, that is something you can feel with your fingers. Life is sprung where you were oblivious to the seeds that were resting. How grateful we must be for the gift of rainfall.

As the scripture says “rain comes down, and does not return from where it came.” Rain comes down with a mission to accomplish and the rain never fails. It fully gives itself to earth. We may not see rain return to the sky but we can see the life of it’s work way after the rainfall has stopped. We look forward to the rain again because it is so pure and refreshing for all that it touches.

Gods word is like rain. It brings forth life, change, renewal, the same way rain does. Like the rain, Gods word has a mission and it will not fail those who ponder and read on it. We know the power of rain but yet, many of us have a difficult time believing in the power of Gods word. And that it can produce so much, just as rain and snow do.

He has left his word with us that it may water and bring forth seeds of love and compassion that reside in all of our hearts. He left His word to fulfill that empty space that we all are constantly trying to fill. Those are the seeds that are so thirsty. Watering those seeds with material and physical things will not clench the thirst of our spirits. They are watered with the things in which we cannot see. They are watered through pondering Gods word, prayer, hope, faith. His word is part of the equation to life. Humans, plants, animals, cannot live without water. We know this is true. To develop peace in our hearts is to study and ponder Gods word. As rain changes nature, Gods word will change our hearts. With His word, there is hope.

Notice what Gods word has accomplished in this world so far. Like the rain, it does not fail what it has been set out to do. Like the rain…

it has a vital purpose.

m.g.

Soften The Heart: Devotional #4

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“So he answered and said, “ ‘ You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself .’ “

Luke 10:27

If you study and pay attention you will begin to recognize how we are all interwoven creating life itself. We lean on one another without realizing, we depend on more than we believe or even know, all of us representing a small piece that make up a grand infinite masterpiece.

We are one. When you love someone, some thing, you are loving not just that something but yourself. Made up of the same universe. All in this life and unknown together. God is all around you, in every thing that you see, touch, smell, hear, taste, God is in you, God is in us.

Everything is deserving of love and every thing needs love. We must accept and appreciate the cycles and have faith in all that is. Have faith that no matter what, love will always grow through the mud the same way a lotus does. Love will grow through the suffering and the obstacles.

Choose love today, and every day.

Soften The Heart: Devotional #3

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“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy or sell, and make a profit”;

whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”

James 4:13-14

Life is precious like a gem and fragile like porcelain. It is so easy to get caught up in the web of this fast paced world and forget that we are not promised tomorrow. That our futures are not guaranteed. What we have is the present. What we have is a gift. And this is something we need to constantly remind ourselves. But many of us have difficulty living in the present moment. We become anchored to our past or become too caught up on a future that we know nothing of. I believe we may remain hopeful of our futures and I believe our past continues to teach us; the same way re- reading a favorite book in different stages of your life changes your perspective. However we must also accept that many things in life are out of our control. Coming to terms with this reality, that our lives are faster than a blink of an eye when you’re looking at the bigger picture feels incredibly surreal. But maybe going through this earthly life is the only way to know God. That this life is a grace of its own to know Gods love and sovereignty.

Let every day of your life be filled with passion, purpose, forgiveness, grace, mercy, and love. Be grateful for each day. Hug and hold your loved ones close and thank God for this opportunity and chance to experience love.

To The Wildest Dreamers – Keep This In Mind

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Whatever you want in this life, I hope what I have to say can motivate or encourage you in some way.

Don’t ever stop being a dreamer.

“Set impossible goals”. I actually heard that quote on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. It was one of her greatest holiday giveaway ones.

A man had been swimming in the ocean, he did a flip, and broke his neck. Just like that, his life changed in an instant.

Life as we know is full of those kind of moments.

He was told that he may never walk again. A nurse told him something that gave him strength and determination. “Set impossible goals.”

Over time, he did learn how to walk again, he is one of the lucky few. He didn’t allow being told that he wouldn’t be able to walk again stop him or hold him back. He dreamed that impossible dream. The beautiful part of this story is he walked his wife down the aisle. And I’m willing to bet they danced too. All because he didn’t give up. All the frustration, the tears, the try after try were absolutely worth it.

(This isn’t them btw, I’m just providing a visual so you can truly try to empathize with this couple and to gain perspective. Hope it works.)

Now……

Everyone has something that they desire. What is your dream? I know you have one.

I’m willing to bet some of you reading this have never really been asked that question. Or you haven’t shared it with anyone.

I want this post to get you thinking about what you want in your life. To take a moment to identify what you seek.

When I was younger the only dream I truly desired so much was to become a mom. I’m not even kidding, that was my dream. It was a dream and it felt like a calling, I can’t really explain it. I wanted to be a mom so bad and my greatest fear was that I wouldn’t be able to have children.

When I became a mother my dream literally came true. Words cannot describe how much joy motherhood gives me. However, what’s crazy though, when I became a mom I also lost myself a bit.

Losing a bit of myself was very bizarre to me. I became something that I wanted so badly, yet, here was I not feeling completely fulfilled.

I went on a serious soul searching journey. And 3 kids later I feel the most confident, courageous, that I have ever been. And I have grown so much.

Motherhood has been the best thing to ever happen to me, because I found a different part of myself. New dreams are being born and new goals are being formed because of my first dream. My daughters inspire me. I have started dreaming ‘impossible dreams’ because of them.

I share this because I don’t ever want you to feel discouraged. The feeling of reaching something but not quite feeling the way you thought you would will happen sometimes.

I saw an interview with Tom Hanks on The Today Show and he said something along the lines of, “The good things you feel from an accomplishment don’t last, and the same goes for the things that bring you down.”

I’m grateful for my dream of motherhood coming true. Greatest, hardest thing ever! This blog exist because of my girls! I have no idea where this blog will take me, but so far it’s probably helped me more then it’s helped any of you.

Trust the Timing of things. And trust your path. Each path provides some type of lesson to get you where you need to go next.

It can take time trying to figure out what you really want.

The point is, don’t give up. Keep trying, keep experiencing, keep doing! And stop being so concerned with what others think. Otherwise you’ll just become stuck and you will settle. If you only knew that just a few feet more you’d see that something greater was waiting for you.

If you’re afraid to fail in front of others, you’re going to have to suck it up. I say that in the nicest way possible.

I personally would rather keep trying new things and experiencing failure to find what really lights my spirit up, then to just settle because I’m in a content position.

You can’t be afraid of dead ends, u-turns, or any paths that lead you into a roundabout.

The pitfalls, the mistakes, the redos are going to happen and they have to happen in order for you to learn and grow and to get where you want to be.

4 THINGS TO CLOSE THIS UP

(Thanks if you read this whole thing!)

Be patient.

Don‘t forget the reason why you’re doing what you are doing.

Write your goals down and work towards it everyday.

Stop limiting yourself, set yourself to be free and to express who you really are and who you want to become.

Enjoy the crazy maze of life!