Category: self help

20 DEEP Questions To Reflect On – Journaling Prompt

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Here are 20 deep questions to reflect on to help you understand who you are:

1. What are my core values, and how do they influence my decisions?

2. What are my biggest fears, and where do they come from?

3. How do I define success for myself, independent of others’ opinions?

4. What do I believe is my purpose in life?

5. In what areas of my life do I feel most at peace, and why?

6. What experiences have shaped my identity the most?

7. How do I handle failure, and what do I learn from it?

8. What kind of relationships nourish my soul, and which ones drain me?

9. When do I feel most authentic, and when do I feel like I’m wearing a mask?

10. How do I speak to myself during hard times? What does that reveal about my self-love?

11. What parts of my past am I still holding onto, and how do they affect me today?

12. What role does forgiveness play in my life—for both myself and others?

13. What do I need to let go of to grow and move forward?

14. What are the recurring patterns in my life, and what might they be teaching me?

15. What are the most significant challenges I’ve overcome, and how have they shaped me?

16. What makes me feel truly fulfilled and alive?

17. What do I want my legacy to be?

18. What do I believe about the nature of love, and how do I show love to myself and others?

19. How do I manage my emotions, and what do they tell me about my inner world?

20. What am I most grateful for in my life right now, and how does gratitude shape my outlook?

Why Is Learning To LOVE OURSELVES So Hard

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Learning how to love ourselves can be challenging for several reasons, often tied to deeply rooted beliefs, societal influences, and personal experiences. Here are some of the key reasons why self-love can be so difficult:

1. Cultural and Societal Conditioning

• Many societies emphasize external validation and achievement, leading us to base our self-worth on how others perceive us or on meeting certain societal standards. This can create a sense that our value is conditional, making it hard to truly love ourselves unconditionally.

2. Negative Self-Talk and Inner Critic

• We often have an internal dialogue that’s far harsher than how we speak to others. This inner critic, fueled by past experiences or insecurities, can make us focus on our perceived flaws, failures, or inadequacies, overshadowing our strengths and worthiness.

3. Unresolved Past Trauma

• Experiences of trauma, rejection, or abandonment—especially in childhood—can deeply affect our ability to love ourselves. These experiences can create deep-seated beliefs that we are unworthy of love or that we have to earn it through certain behaviors or achievements.

4. Fear of Egoism or Narcissism

• Many people fear that loving themselves will come across as selfish or narcissistic. There’s often a misunderstanding between healthy self-love and egoism, leading some to suppress their self-appreciation to avoid being perceived negatively by others.

5. Comparison Culture

• With the rise of social media, comparing ourselves to others has become even more pervasive. Constant exposure to idealized images and lifestyles can lead to feelings of inadequacy, making it harder to appreciate and love ourselves as we are.

6. Conditioned Beliefs About Worthiness

• From a young age, many of us are conditioned to believe that love and worthiness must be earned through good behavior, success, or pleasing others. These beliefs can make us feel that we are only worthy of love under certain conditions, which complicates the journey to self-love.

7. Fear of Vulnerability

• Truly loving ourselves requires facing and accepting our vulnerabilities, imperfections, and past mistakes. This process can be uncomfortable and scary, as it involves confronting aspects of ourselves that we may have avoided or denied for a long time.

8. Lack of Role Models

• If we didn’t grow up seeing examples of healthy self-love, it can be difficult to know what that even looks like. Without role models who practice self-love, we might struggle to develop it ourselves.

9. Overemphasis on External Achievement

• Society often prioritizes success, productivity, and external accomplishments over inner well-being. This focus can lead us to seek validation from achievements rather than from within, making it harder to develop a sense of self-love that isn’t tied to external outcomes.

10. Difficulty in Accepting Ourselves as We Are

• We are often our own worst critics. Accepting ourselves with all our flaws, imperfections, and mistakes can be challenging, especially when we hold ourselves to unrealistic standards of perfection.

11. Deep-Seated Guilt or Shame

• Guilt and shame, often stemming from past actions or internalized beliefs, can block self-love. These emotions can be powerful and difficult to overcome, making it challenging to feel deserving of love and compassion.

12. Need for External Validation

• We often seek validation and love from others, which can become a substitute for self-love. When we rely too heavily on others for our sense of worth, it becomes difficult to cultivate an internal sense of self-love.

13. Complexity of Self-Discovery

• Self-love requires self-awareness and understanding, which involves delving into our true selves, including our desires, needs, and values. This journey of self-discovery can be complex and uncomfortable, making self-love harder to achieve.

14. Societal Norms Around Self-Sacrifice

• Many cultures glorify self-sacrifice, especially in roles like parenting or caregiving, where putting others’ needs before your own is often expected. This can lead to neglecting self-care and self-love, as it’s seen as less important than caring for others.

Learning to love ourselves is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and often unlearning old beliefs and patterns. It’s a process of gradually building a healthier relationship with ourselves, where we can appreciate our own worth, embrace our flaws, and treat ourselves with the kindness and understanding we deserve.

Feng Shui Tip – When You Feel Stuck In Life Move 27 Things

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simple shui tip: move 27 things!

Full Original Article

Ways To Switch It Up

turn your vertically lined books to horizontal stacks

swap around drawers – linens, silverware, files in the desk

rearrange the kitchen cupboards

switch up the refrigerator shelves

push furniture an inch to the left or right (or completely into another room!)

switch lamps out to different rooms

move the chairs around your table

put everything dropped by the door back in its space

color-code your closet (or bookshelves!)

fold your towels a new way

organize the spice drawer / shelf

hang the dog leash somewhere that reminds you to take her for a walk

shake out the front door mat

edit the book pile by your bed

move your phone charger out of the bedroom

change the bulbs in a light to a brighter watt

flip a table arrangement so everything on the left is now on the right, and the right is now a lefty

move art on the walls around

turn all the shoes in your closet so they face one direction — with the toes facing out

dress the table with a linen-cloth and make mealtime a little more fancy

bring a few candles that normally sit somewhere unlit into a room where you’ll light them

take everything off your desk, wipe it down, and put everything back (ahhh!)

switch out your bed linens or add a different quilt to the foot of the bed

move an entire room around and try it out for a week

move the fridge magnets around

put something different in front of a mirror so that it doubles something new in your life

sharpen your pencils

give the dog bed a hearty shake and fluff / rotate the cat condo

turn the plants around so the other side soaks up the sun

flip the rugs, mattress, or couch cushions!

why 27 items, you ask? the short answer—it’s a shui thing. twenty-seven is [a multiple of] the number 9, the number representing power, manifestation, and completion. bonus: you don’t need to add or buy anything.

@simpleshui

Hey YOU, You’re Beautiful

The Wild Gems2 Comments

I don’t need to know you or see you to know that you reading this, dear reader, are beautiful.

Sometimes we need to be reminded how special and unique we are. Allow me to remind you.

You are a once in a lifetime. Shaped and molded in a way that cannot be duplicated. A rare commodity.

You aren’t perfect my friend, and guess what, nobody is. Each of us is flawed in our own way. But isn’t is wonderful?

How boring it would be if we were all the same and shared all the same experiences. It’s our differences that bring color and vibrancy to this world and universe. It’s the differences that help us to grow and grant us permission to see through the many different filters of life.

Celebrate those “imperfections”. Learn to love yourself. Learn to see yourself. You are worthy of your own love. Love yourself. You are loved.

There is no need to seek approval from the outside. When unkindness greets in those unexpected moments you shake it off immediately and most definitely don’t take it personally.

But again, I don’t need to know you or see to know that you are beautiful. You are. You are a miracle. You are here, you are alive. You’re doing it.

You’re a gift, you know that right? You truly are. You have purpose. You have value. You have magic flowing in you. There is so much light in you, even if right now the clouds are blocking the view. It’s there glowing brightly.

You are beautiful.

Feeling Down? Here’s A List Of Instant MOOD BOOSTERS

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Life will get you down. And sometimes life will strait up knock you down and put it’s giant, ugly foot, on top of your neck mocking you while you struggle to breathe. That sounds harsh, I know this, but there’s truth to it and it is real life. And if you’re reading this blog then you know that, and something may possibly be going on in your life.

But listen, as a beautiful lotus can grow through mud, I do strongly believe and know that good and greatness can grow and push its way through adversity. Proving something that seems nearly impossible to achieve.

Which then gifts us with hope, what every human being needs.

Now let’s talk about our feelings for just a moment.

The feelings that tag along with life can be strong and unbarring but it is vital to not let them control you and cater to their every need. Sad/angry feelings are not a bad thing. They help us enjoy and discover the good/wonderful feelings that much more. How can we know joy without sadness?

Keep that information in your back pocket. You are strong. You are resilient. You are brave. You are loved.

Let yourself feel what you are feeling. Trying to act like the harsh feelings do not exist will only make those feelings stronger and eager to be exposed. This will pass. I can’t tell you when but I know it will pass. It will be okay, and you will get through it. As much as we wish we could say, “Alexa, turn off our feelings”, we can’t. They have to be dealt with.

In the meantime little distractions can and do help and can change your mood for a few moments to get your mind off things.

Now let’s get to it.

Here’s A List Of 28 Healthy Instant Mood Boosters

Do some of these daily, weekly, or multiple times a day if need be for your well being.

1. Call Up Your Best Friend Or Someone You Love

Calling up the bestie is always a way to boost your mood! Your best friend or best friends just know you and always know the right thing to say to turn a frown upside down. The great thing about best friends is they don’t judge at you all. They listen to you, love you, and have your back. But whether you call your bestie or a loved one they are sure to make you feel better.

2. Play Your Favorite Playlist And Just Dance

Sometimes you just need to select a good music playlist, turn the volume up, and just dance it out. Move freely, close your eyes, and vibe out. Allow your body to release the negativity, the pain, the hurt, and just get lost in that movement of freedom.

3. Take THE Shower

THE SHOWER, you know what I’m talking about. Wash your hair, use a deep conditioning treatment, shave your legs, use a body scrub, and take your time. Stand there for 20 minutes with no obligations or pressure and imagine the water cleansing you and rejuvenating you as the rain does for nature. Turn on some music and let the water and steam renew you.

4. Open Some Windows

If it’s a nice day out open some windows to get a cross breeze. Let some light and fresh air into your home. You don’t have to go outside to enjoy a little bit of nature. This is an instant mood booster. You aren’t that different from a flower, you need sunshine in your life to thrive.

5. Go Get Yourself A Treat

Sometimes we just need a little indulgence. Maybe give yourself something that you haven’t had in a while! I’m talking more in regards to food. Treat yourself to some ice cream, or a soda, a cake pop from Starbucks, your favorite candy, let yourself have something that you don’t allow yourself too often! Savor every bite and enjoy the little treat.

6. Light Some Candles In The Afternoon And Play Some Jazz

With the right aroma, candles can be so uplifting, especially in the day time. I see a candle lit and I instantly feel more at ease. I feel more calmness and peace. I feel an assurance that everything will be fine. When we are going through difficult times it’s these little things that are our lullaby.

7. Write Down Any Negative Thoughts On Paper And Then Rip It Up

This works, believe me. You don’t even have to write your thoughts on paper, you can write them on the notes app in your phone and once you’ve calmed down delete it. This really does help and will alleviate some of those feelings of anger or anxiety. Some of us aren’t fully there yet in the journey where we can fully discuss all that is on our minds and that’s okay. Give it to the paper and let the paper gift you with some relief.

8. Revisit An Old Hobby

We have to bring out our inner child and let that child play again! And let that child play often! There’s a reason children are the best teachers. Do activities that you use to enjoy as a kid, as in revisiting an old hobby! Roller skating, scrapbooking, painting, crafts, what did you enjoy? Bring that hobby back to life and get lost in it again.

9. Go For A Walk

Take a walk by yourself and be in the present moment. Notice nature and pay attention to the details of your walk. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Be with yourself and reflect on your blessings. Make it a walk of gratitude and focus on what’s good in life. I would suggest going by yourself too. But please not in the woods.

10. Do A Breathing Exercise

If you are experiencing anxiety this is a great way to release those anxious emotions and calm down your nervous system. This exercise can untangle the thoughts in your mind and help you exit the worrying and fear that you’re in. I can assure you afterwards you will feel better. I suggest Wim Hof aka the ice man. Look him on YouTube. He’s got great breathing exercises and such a positive, uplifting energy.

11. Do Something Nice For Someone

Doing things for others feels good. It releases endorphins, which triggers positive feelings in your body. Seeing someone else smile makes us smile. Knowing that we are the reason they smiled is even better. There are plenty of things you can do for another person. Serving others doesn’t just make us feel good but it strengthens hope. And that’s what everyone needs.

12. Have A Coffee Date With A Friend

Call up a good friend and have a spontaneous coffee date. Your mood will be boosted and there’s will be too. Spur of the moment kind of dates are the best. And hey, the date can be with yourself. Treat yourself for the moment. “Best friends are the therapists you can drink with.”

13. Buy Or Cook A Really Good Meal And Eat It Slowly

I don’t believe enough of us take the time to really relish a delicious meal. Most of the time we are eating while doing something. Maybe we’re talking with people or friends, reading, or watching something. But typically we’re multitasking and not appreciating what we are giving to our body and soul! Love has a flavor. And you can really taste it when all your focus is on simply eating and nothing else. There’s a reason we call some foods, comfort food.

14. Sign Off Social Media

There are times when you need unchain yourself from the internet and get back to real life. It’s so easy to get sucked in like a black hole, and signing off for a bit will for sure support your well being and mental health. Limit the distraction and comparison and put more focus on what you enjoy doing. False perceptions can be damaging and it’s important to not fall into that trap. Especially when you’re already in the middle of going through something difficult. Removing the apps from your phone so you aren’t tempted will boost your mood instantly and you’ll feel a sense of freedom, believe me.

15. Get A Pedicure Or Manicure

Who doesn’t love a mani or pedi! Even guys love them! When you look good, you feel good! And with feeling great comes a level of confidence. Go by yourself or go with a friend. That is a sure way to uplift yourself. And afterwards you’ll have pretty toes.

16. Schedule A Spur Of The Moment Massage

Humans need touch, it affirms our social connections and even our sense of self. It’s soothing to us. What you may need is a simple massage. What wonders a massage can do for our bodies; releasing stress and increasing relaxation. It’s a medicine and positive energy. Our bodies carry so much for us. So much that we don’t even realize. Just like wringing out a towel that was soaking in water, we need to be wrung out to alleviate some of the heavy weights that we carry.

17. Watch Some Stand Up Comedy On Netflix Or YouTube

I have personally turned to comedy a few times when I was feeling down. When needing to get your mind off certain issues laughing as we know is the best medicine. It activates and relieves your stress response. Now there are so many great comedians out there and so many great shows with easy access. Netflix has some great ones! Pick one, serve yourself some Ben and Jerry’s and let yourself belly ache laugh!

18. Get Dressed, Do Your Hair, Do Your Make Up

Get out of your pj’s and get dressed. Wash your face, brush your teeth, brush your hair while you’re at it and put on some mascara! I promise you’ll feel a little better! As a stay at home mom I’ve had plenty or days where I went to bed the way I woke up. But the days where I decided to actually dress up and look presentable I was more productive and felt confident. You don’t even have to leave your home. Get ready for YOURSELF.

19. Purge Your Things

You have more than you think. This is a great way to release some invisible weight. Think of purging your things like a snake shedding it’s skin. It’s making the room for growth and renewal. It’s also like cutting your hair, and we know how good that feels. Getting rid of stuff is rejuvenating and benefits your mental health by making you feel calmer, happier, and more in control.

20. Cuddle Your Animal Or Maybe A Blanket And Watch A Romantic Comedy

I miss our doggies so much. They were the best to cheering anybody up. Sometimes you just need to snuggle your fur baby to feel better. I kinda think that’s why they were made. Maybe you’re not an animal person though, that’s okay, snuggle with a warm blanket or a fluffy pillow. Whether you watch a Romantic comedy or your favorite tv sitcom this is a sure way to comfort oneself to feeling better.

21. Read A Devotional And Pray About It

This. This personally has helped me in more ways than one. It has strengthened my spirituality immensely. We tend to have this void in us. We search and search and usually fill it with material things, thinking this will make us feel better. Working on your spiritual self is what connects the bridges to discovering more of yourself and what you want in your life. I even began writing my own devotionals (click here to read) to share perspective with others. Read and be comforted!

22. Read Some Poetry Or Blogs About Others Going Through What You Are Going Through

You are not alone. How we need and crave this reassurance. There are many others who have gone through or are going through the same experiences as you. And they share their experiences to help YOU! Seek them, and discover some relief. If you can’t find something in relation to what you are going through then maybe you need to be the one to break the ice and share your story or experience to help another out there. Talking about what we are going through or writing about it is healing ourselves and others.

25. Go Outside And Take 5 Gulbs Of Fresh Air

5, 10, 15, or 20! Go outside and intentionally welcome fresh air into your body. Take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come. All we can do it our best and it’s important to concede how miraculous and significant you truly are. Believe it, it’s true.

26. Go Cry

Do you feel like you need to cry? GO CRY. You don’t need permission. Take a moment to let it out and come out when you feel better. Crying is a release and it’s okay to cry. As a mom I’ve had plenty of moments where I’ve said to my husband, “I need to go cry.” And I go cry. I would go into our bathroom, close the door, and just cry. Once I was done I’d come out and I would feel better. Like many of the other mood boosters that I’ve mentioned crying releases endorphins. Crying instantly alleviates stress and sends us into a more calming state of being. Take crying also as a sign that you need self love time, and make the time.

27. Get Into Your Car, Roll Up Your Windows And Just SCREAM

If you’ve never done this, I highly recommend it. I’ve been doing this since high school. It just feels good! It’s a release of tension. It’s a natural and intuitive way for your body to release emotion. Don’t take it out on your loved ones, that’s not fair. Become aware when you’re boiling and let the rage out in a loud scream in your car. It’s even better with a friend. Because then afterwards you’ll have a great laughing episode.

28. Call Your Mom

Need I say more. Or call your Grandma, or your best friends mom. I feel so incredibly blessed that I can call my mom and she just knows exactly what to say to soothe me. Thank you to all the amazing moms out there who just know what to say and do to making us feel better.

I love you mom so much.

Thank you for reading. And please share what you do that instantly makes you feel better when life’s got you down.

Lots of love,

m.g.