At one point or another we’ve all done it. We have avoided responsibility and placed the blame on something. Our parents, our childhood, our lack of not knowing better, our friends, God, that door for being in the way that just stubbed our toe, etc.
It alleviates the guilt or negative feelings that we fill inside….but deep down we all know that choices, decisions, and reactions are our own.
Many of us prefer to play the victim rather than scatter the broken pieces and discover a new creation.
What good does blaming do? Truthfully, is there a positive outcome to making that choice?
Before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean
Bob Marley
He who has not sinned can cast the first stone
Jesus
I love these quotes, both of these shout LOOK AT YOURSELF. And reminds us that we are flawed just like the rest.
You’re not alone.
My kids are at that delightful age where there’s a fair amount of tattling and a great deal of blaming one another.
“Mom, she made me do it!”
“It’s not my fault, it’s theirs.”
“I only did it because she told me to do that.”
*something doesn’t go their way* – “This is YOUR fault!”
And so forth.
This kind of stuff is expected right now. They are kids!
Although,
I do believe there is importance in teaching children accountability, acknowledgement, and acceptance. As we know, you can’t point the finger forever.
There comes a time when each of us have to look at ourselves, reflect on our own choices and decisions and take accountability for our part. Whatever that may be.
I would say a majority of people don’t enjoy doing this. It isn’t a pleasant process. It’s like holding hands with guilt and shame while walking down an empty road. You don’t want to hold their hands but they know where they are going and you don’t.
This is necessary for our own personal growth. Especially if we have a goal to be our very best selves and want to move forward and make improvements in our life.
There are many grown ups out there who still behave like children and are saying exactly what my kids are saying.
“This is all YOUR Fault!”
And guess what the other grown up is saying,
“No, this is your fault!”
Neither grown up wants to take accountability for their part. How will the issue get resolved if someone doesn’t step up?
Again, because it’s hard. Who wants to admit when they are wrong? Be honest.
Let me share something,
when you begin to take accountability for the directions and outcomes in your life, your life changes. Someone may argue, “but I got dealt a bad hand of cards.”
Maybe that person did. There are many lives out there who have truly been dealt a shitty hand of cards. But there are also lives out there that even with their bad cards they played a heck of a game.
Even in poker you can win a game with a bad hand.
Learning to take accountability and learning to acknowledge what is changes your life, and it changes for the better. In doing so you learn to give yourself grace which leads to giving others grace. You learn to forgive yourself which leads to you forgiving others.
Everyone needs grace and forgiveness. If you can learn to give it to yourself, you can learn to give it to others.
We cling to too many pains and aches from the past. They are like anchors that hold us down from exploring.
And then we blame those pains and aches for the outcome of our lives. When all we have to do is release the anchor so we may set sail. We get frustrated at the knot that we tied.
Living a life of pointing the finger will do nothing but poison you. It poisons you to the core.
And if you keep letting your pointer finger poison you, eventually it paralyzes you.
That is not how you want to live your life. Beautiful things await when we acknowledge ourselves, our situations, our reactions, and recognize that we hold in ourselves more power than we know.
You are powerful. You are strong. You have strength inside of you to get you through what you are going through. It’s nobody’s fault.
Pain in our hearts can lead to bad choices. Think about that, and ponder it.
Let’s practice not pointing the finger together.
peace and love
The Wild Gems 