Category: dear readers

Dear Readers, I am going…..

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…to begin sharing stories from my life.

What inspired me to create this category is a book that I am currently reading — ‘Tell Me Everything’ by Elizabeth Strout.

I am only at the beginning but a few times the author writes about everyone having unrecorded or shared stories.

Which makes me feel like revealing more of myself—-honestly just for fun.

I enjoy having a place where I can be vulnerable. While we are strangers in the real world, in here we are friends.

I have shared many lessons on this blog but I think I should share maybe how I learned some of these lessons.

As always, thank you for reading.

m.g.

Dear Readers, Sorry I’ve Been MIA

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Hey my beautiful friends,

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been pretty busy with motherhood and school stuff.

But honestly too, I feel like I’ve hit a writers block. I want to share more, but I don’t even know what I want to share right now. Kind of in a funk maybe.

I am currently working on a project that is taking much of my time but still….I’m sorry I haven’t shared much new stuff!

Just letting you all know that I’ll be writing more soon.

Marie

Dears Readers, I Had an EMERGENCY abdominal Surgery! – Bowel Obstruction Surgery

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I’m still in shock.

I’m currently recovery at home and it’s been about 4 days now since my surgery.

I will write another blog soon letting you all know what went down but I may not post for a while because I really need to focus on my healing.

Or a few of my posts going forward for a bit may be recovery and healing related.

One thing for sure I am incredibly grateful to be here. This was very sudden and completely unexpected. I have been overwhelmed by love from family and friends.

God truly carried me through this from the beginning and my trust is completely in Him.

I got home yesterday from the hospital (today is Saturday and this all went down on Tuesday) and being able to hold my children and stroke their hair and give them kisses is something I am not taking for granted.

I have learned so much from this experience and how much more eager I am to help and heal people!

Remember my friends, it truly is the littlest things that leave such powerful impacts.

Examples would be:

  • A gentle touch 
  • Sincerity in the eyes
  • Tone of voice 
  •  A warm smile 
  • Story telling
  •  Sense of humor 

God bless all of you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here.

Marie

Hello My Readers – I’m Still Here

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Hi my beautiful readers!

I have not posted in awhile and I am so sorry for that! As most of you know I have 4 little ones and they keep me very busy! It’s been hard to get moments to really write or share anything.

I do want to share though that I can be followed on Facebook and instagram where I share things on there as well 🙂 .

Instagram – thewildgems

(On this instagram I share all sorts of things! It’s kind of like an abstract painting lol. There’s a lot going on)

Facebook – the wild gems

On this Facebook page I share videos that I’ve watched that inspired me, quotes, feel good things)

And I did create another instagram very recently where I kind of just share my thoughts under

gemwilde

Looking forward to connecting more! You all mean so much to me! I am grateful to share this journey with you all! I feel truly thankful.

Lots of love,

Marie

Dear Readers, My Birth Mom Passed Away

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My birth mom passed away. It’s been a week now. It’s lead to an indescribable type of grief that I feel very alone in if I’m honest. And I feel compelled to just release some of the things that I’m feeling at the moment.

My aunt (my birth mom’s sister) texted me last Wednesday telling me that she had passed. I had never met her. That wasn’t my choice. I’ve been wanting to meet her my whole life and I actually almost did last spring but it just didn’t happen because she had somewhere to be apparently. Who knows what the full truth is. I can feel I’m not being told everything. I know she was mentally unstable. Suffered from schizophrenia. But how she died seems to be unknown. She checked into the hospital for something, was there for a few weeks, and passed “with family by her side”.

I was really upset at first, clearly I still am. My birth mom was in the hospital for a few weeks and my aunt didn’t tell me? The opportunity to meet the woman who birthed me is gone and it breaks my heart.

All of this pain as being an adoptee has resurfaced I don’t even know how to handle it. I just keep crying. I never knew any biological family until I turned 29. I always felt so completely alone growing up.

I haven’t even told my adoptive parents that my birth mom has passed because it’s just going to make them uncomfortable and they’ll probably say I’m sorry and that’s about it.

When I told them I had found biological family on ancestry there was no happiness for me. There was fear. Never have they ever really talked to me about how I felt being adopted. But they didn’t know, I know that. I was just a grateful child who hid the wounds very very well.

Having adopted two children (my niece and nephew on my husband’s side) I will be a different parent. Their wounds will get the oxygen they need. And I will help them find answers.

I’m just sad right now. I’m just really really sad and another adoptee told that I’m experiencing disenfranchised grief. Basically it’s a grief that’s not understood or validated.

It’s lonely. It’s lonely to want to share this with more people in my life but they won’t get it but also I think…I don’t want to share because I’m not ready to fully reveal how much I’ve been holding in and for so long. Plus I can’t talk about this without crying.

I think that’s why I love this blog world so much. I can be so raw and just let it out. And no one close is going to read this because hardly anyone I know reads my stuff, and if they even do they never say anything.

And if you just read this, wow, thank you. Thank you for hearing me for a moment. Thank you for letting me cry and share.

To be a grown up and still this lost at times and here I am raising children…..

How do you guide children when you aren’t even sure of the way,

Ps – I do have a picture now of my birth mom when she was probably about 18. My youngest daughter has her eyes. They’re so beautiful.

Dear Readers, I’m Sorry I Haven’t Posted In Awhile

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Good morning my beautiful readers, how are you all doing?

I’m still here, and I am sorry that I have not shared anything in quite some time. To be honest I’ve just been very busy and this blog hasn’t been a priority at the moment.

I have 4 kids in case you didn’t know. An 8 year old, a 7 year old, a 4 year old, and a 1 year old. I’m a busy mama. And no, we didn’t just boom boom and decide to have kids back to back. Two of them are biological and two are adopted.

I know I don’t have to share that at all but I want those who read this to really understand. I like to joke that I got the “have a baby get one free deal” because that’s exactly what happened.

We actually just adopted my son (the one year old) in January. So thankful that that has been finalized.

I like to consider myself an open book so if you ever read any of my posts and would like clarification on anything don’t ever hesitate to ask me. We are friends on here I like to think.

Anyways, I’ve been busy. But it’s been a good busy.

I’m going to make an effort to release all that I’ve been absorbing and share it with you all.

I’m getting back into reading and I’ve already gained so much new insight! I love it!

Thank you my readers for taking the time to read what I share.

There’s something so intimate and comforting about being in the blogging community.

Lots of love, always

– Marie

The Wild Gems

Dear Readers, I am raising the future

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No pressure right.

To anyone else raising the future…..just do your best. That’s all anyone can really do. Continue to learn and teach.

Better yourself.

Sometimes I don’t know whether I am raising my children or they are raising me. I never realized how lost I was before my children entered my life. I also never realized how angry I was.

I don’t know that everyone needs children to self discover. There are some incredible insightful people out there and I always wonder how they became to be.

Each persons journey is a different road, however this path of parenthood has revealed a spectrum of colors I never knew existed.

I owe my children for giving me life in this world.

And I will do my best to raise a beautiful future.

I will do my best.

*listening to ‘my tears are becoming a sea*

Dear Readers, I’m Grateful For Good Conversation

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I’ve realized that I don’t enjoy surface level conversation. And what I really mean by that is I don’t enjoy gossiping at all. I don’t like listening to people talk about others in a negative way to others.

I was hanging out with some mom friends that I actually met through my daughters. It’s not like we had bad conversation but it would also be like, “how do you feel about this person?….” Or, “what do you think of this person?”

I just couldn’t engage. I feel like I’ve read enough books where you can’t judge people like that. You never know what an individual has gone through or has experienced. It’s not fair. Where’s the empathy?

During this girl time I felt incredibly reserved and wanted to just blurt out, “is anyone reading anything good right now?” But I just listened and observed and recognized.

The kinds of conversations that I enjoy is talking about history or insane memoirs from people you’ve never heard of. I want to talk about things you’ve learned or an experience that changed your life. I want to engage on how to make this world better not degrading another persons way of handling things.

Tell me something funny that made you laugh! Or something that freaks you out! Or can we talk about how this whole earth experience is crazy in itself. Like, isn’t this all so weird? You know what I mean?

But…..

in order to have these types of conversations one has to give themselves permission to be vulnerable and to have a degree of confidence in themselves I feel.

I have had some amazing conversations with other people that I just can’t believe what they have shared with me. And I feel incredibly honored to make a person feel comfortable enough to sharing intimate details of their life with me.

When we let our guard down we help others to do the same. But some people don’t let their guard down because I believe there’s a level of insecurity or fear.

And that’s okay. With time we all evolve.

Thanks for listening :).

Share something with me if you have a moment! Would love to learn about YOU, My dear reader!

– mg

Dear Readers, I Can’t Sleep

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I was watching an FKJ interview earlier and he was wearing a shirt that said, “In the end nothing matters.” It provoked me to search for more interpretation on it.

Just reminded me on what I already know…..ya know. I did come across a good article on the meaning though. Click here if you wanna read it.

Anyways sometimes when I can’t sleep it’s because I’m just thinking about life and death.

I never use to think about death when I was younger. Maybe I convinced myself that death wasn’t real, I’m not sure. It wasn’t until I had my first daughter where I truly realized that death is real and that we are all going to die one day.

When I acknowledged that…..everything changed. My kids every so often bring up dying. I remind them that every day is a gift.

What a wild experience that we are all sharing. So crazy sometimes.

Maybe I just needed to share that. Now I’m actually tired.

Good night little miracles

Dear Readers: I Can’t Sleep

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Sometimes I have nights like this.

Where I just sit awake while the rest of my family sleeps soundly. It’s so quiet right now. Any movement seems to leave an echo. Typically when these kinds of nights happen it’s because I have so much on my mind. My brain just can’t digest all these thoughts and feelings. Anxiety is looking for attention.

I brought this upon myself though. When you’re reading a book about death and experiences of those in hospice and their last moments it’s bound to take a toll on you. I feel anchored at the moment. These stories that I have been reading…… I can’t even find the right words. They make my heart ache, literally, but they also inspire me so deeply. I’m in a trance. It’s like walking through dark woods but discovering undiscovered fruit.

It’s so beautiful. These stories. Life amazes me. Humans amaze me. This experience of life is just miraculous and incredibly surreal when I acknowledge it. How is all of this possible? How are there so many patterns? What does it all really mean? Questions we won’t get in this lifetime, I don’t think, but it’s fun to wonder about. I feel chosen in a way.

Sometimes I feel alone in these thoughts. I know I’m not but sometimes it feels that way. How does this world not recognize how insane all of this is. There’s an acceptance I guess, while I’m still asking so many questions and searching for answers. I am one who believes though that world peace is very possible.

But it takes each individual to deeply look inside themselves. To want to better themselves. Swallow our pride and admit our faults. And continue to love and persevere. And you know, some don’t know how to love. There is pain deep in their roots. That is true.

It is up to us however to show them love, that we may liberate and heal those souls who are hurting and hiding. But it’s more than loving, it’s also just listening. Some just want to be heard and understood.

Isn’t that what we all really want?

– m.g.