Category: parenthood

7 Tips For Taking Your Newborn On A Beachy Getaway

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This past weekend was Labor Day weekend and we went to Puerto Peñasco Mexico with our two toddlers and our 5 week old baby. Are we a little crazy, maybe some would say…. but we made some amazing memories!

We had an absolute blast, and I am so happy we went!

To be completely honest I was very hesitant about taking our newborn on a trip so soon. If my husband would have changed his mind I would have been completely okay with it.

However we had been planning this trip and we had people that were coming and meeting us there. So we really did want to go!

Me being the worry wart that I am, I actually called her pediatrician asking for precautions to take when traveling with a baby and safety measures at the beach. Well, they told me they don’t recommend doing anything like that until they are two months and have had their shots. Not really what I wanted to hear, but I kind of expected it.

When I told my husband what their pediatrician said his reply was, “babies are born in Mexico all the time.” Uhh ok.

This just goes to show who’s the more cautious parent in this relationship.

Well we ended up going, obviously.

We traveled to Mexico in our RV and from where we live it’s only about a 3 to 4 hour drive. So it’s really not too bad.

(What’s great about a newborn is they sleep so much! Our daughter pretty much slept this whole trip! Saturday to Sunday. She is a dream, and did better then expected. )

I am going to share some tips that worked for me and hopefully they work for you too IF you do decide to take a mini trip somewhere with a beach and your precious newborn.

7 Tips For Taking Your Newborn On A Beachy Getaway

1. Take Help With You

My mom went along on this trip and I can’t imagine how the trip would have been had she not come! She was so helpful! I was able to spend uninterrupted quality time with my other two daughters and enjoy the ocean with them. When my newborn was nursing or keeping me busy she would be with my other two daughters catering to their needs. My husband and I weren’t stressed at all because of the help! His dad and friend were there too and when they say it takes a village, they aren’t lying! Whoever they are!

You will enjoy your trip so much more if you have helping hands.

2. A Hand Held Misting Fan Is A NECESSITY

The times we were sitting on the beach under the umbrella I always had a misting fan at reach. It was a fantastic, and a very convenient way to stay cool for my baby and myself since we didn’t really get in the water. It was super humid so this is so helpful.

Do not forget a misting fan!

3. Co-sleep With A Pack N’ Play Mat

With being in an RV, I really didn’t want to pack the whole pack n’ play because you know how big they are and there wouldn’t really be any space in the RV for it. If you’re staying in a resort I would just bring the whole thing probably, but for us the mat was good enough.

I slept in the back with our baby with just the pack n’ play mat on the bed. I felt safe because she wasn’t sleeping on the soft mattress (it’s not advised to let your newborn sleep on a soft mattress due to SIDS) and I felt it was secure enough where I knew I wouldn’t roll on her. The bed was a queen bed and between two closets. It was the perfect way to co sleep and nurse her at night.

4. Keep Your Baby Covered When In The Sun

Newborns can’t wear sunblock so you really what to limit as much sun exposure as possible. A little sun isn’t going to hurt, but you really don’t want them exposed to direct sunlight for more then a few minutes.

When I would walk from the RV to the beach I always had a blanket over her, like a small receiving blanket. And when we were outside we were always in the shade.

5. Know Where The Local Hospitals Are

This is safety precaution to take for your peace of mind. IF, something did happen you want to know where the local hospitals are. You are taking your newborn so it’s best to be as safe as possible when traveling with a newborn.

6. Trust your Instincts And Know Your Limits

If you feel baby is getting too hot go inside. If you feel that would be too much for the baby then don’t do it. If you don’t want to take your baby there, then don’t go. (When I say there, I mean like a restaurant, shops, wherever) Don’t feel pressured. Trust that you know what is best for your baby.

7. Take Pictures And Just Have Fun!

Do your best to just enjoy yourself! Don’t let your worries consume you! You’re an amazing mama and you know your baby! So, again, trust YOURSELF and make memories!

(I only took her out to beach in the mornings and in the late afternoons. It wasn’t too hot during those times and the rays aren’t as strong.)

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5 Struggles Of A Kinship Adoption

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What is a kinship adoption?

A kinship adoption is an adoption of a child by an extended family member. An example would be a child’s Grandma, Grandpa or maybe an Aunt, or Uncle.

If a kinship adoption is occurring the circumstances are not typically ideal and can be very heartbreaking for many people involved.

Substance abuse is a prime example of why a kinship adoption may occur.

The great thing about a kinship adoption is the child or children remain within their family who they are usually already familiar with. Which can help with a smoother transition for the child or even other family members.

In many cases it is preferred that a child that needs to be adopted remains within family but sometimes it just cannot be done. And that’s ok. Each adoption case has a story and is different.

Having had guardianship over my niece now for over two years and legally adopting her with my husband I would like to share the struggles of a kinship adoption and maintaining an open relationship with the birth mother.

(It is entirely up to you if decide to keep an open relationship with the birth parent or parents. It’s difficult because the birth parent or parents are related to you in some way and your relationship is now impacted and will no longer be the same going forward.)

I am sharing these struggles for other people that may be in the process of adopting a family member or having to make the decision of taking a child in and gaining an idea of what to expect if you accept this responsibility.

What matters is doing the absolute best for the child.

I am sharing these struggles so YOU reading this have an idea on what to expect when adopting a child and maintaining an open relationship. I hope this will allow you prepare in some way and to go into this process aware and confident.

5 Struggles Of A Kinship Adoption

1. The Whole Family is Affected

When you take in a child within the family the whole family is affected. If the child has other siblings it can be even more of a challenge because they may not know the whole situation. Family members are hurt, upset, concerned and it takes a toll on everyone. The family members that are very affected are the ones taking the child in. It can create hardships within your own family and significant other. It can be even more difficult adapting when you have children of your own for many different reasons.

2. It’s Drama And A Whole Lot Of Emotion

The relationship with the birth parent or parents becomes very unstable. The relationship will be different and emotions will constantly be high. The birth parent or parents are more comfortable saying how they are feeling or saying very inappropriate things because they can “get away with it” because you are indeed kin. Hurtful actions and words will take place and you can’t take what is being said or done personal. Easier said then done.

3. Developing Boundaries And Ensuring EVERYONE Is On the Same Page

A birth parent or parents may have lost custody but they will expect to still be able to see their child whenever they want. They also may expect to still have a say in the raising of the child.

The child is no longer in their care. This is where you need to establish boundaries. The child was taken away for a reason and when the boundaries are set it is very important that the rest of the family respect your wishes. This is the struggle. Not everyone will be on the same page with your boundaries. You may be blind sided at times and will have to constantly remind other family members what is and what is not okay when it comes to the birth parent or parents.

4. Doing What Is Best For The Child

Other family members will share their input and it’s hard to separate those feelings and what’s really best for your child. You will want to accomadate to what they want or you will try to make everyone else happy. It’s easy to lose track of what’s best for the child because now relationships with other family members are interfering and you don’t want to upset or hurt anyone. It’s very difficult and it becomes very upsetting when other family members are upset with you when you are just trying to do what’s best for your child. They will have a difficult time seeing things from your side and perspective.

5. Not Receiving Empathy/Lack Of Support

Some family members will not take the time to really notice the struggles that you are facing or even take the time to understand how hard this has all been. Especially when it happens out of the complete blue. This is why it feels like you are going through this alone at times.

People have a hard time understanding that you made THE CHOICE to take the child and other family members will take advantage of the situation not truly realizing what your position truly entails. Especially as you move forward and as the child gets older. If you decide this or that, a family member may lash out at you because they don’t agree with a decision that you made. When really, you should be supported whether they like it or not.

The birth parent is asked about, the child is asked about, but often you won’t be asked how this is all affecting you.

With writing this my goal is to share common struggles you may face when handling an open kinship adoption and to ensure you that you are not alone.

It’s hard. I know it is.

But I also know the many amazing things that come out of a kinship adoption. Before we took in my now daughter I remember googling the pros and cons of taking in a family member because I wanted to know what to expect. I knew taking her in would be hard and would open plenty of cans of worms but I also knew it was the right thing to do.

You are doing the right thing and that child you may have now is very fortunate to be with you. YOU, are their parent. Despite the struggles you are facing and will face there is no better place they could be.

To the person or persons taking in a Child within the family:

What you are doing is brave and takes courage. I want you to know you are doing the right thing even if you feel confused and stressed right now. Taking a child without any time to prepare is extremely challenging and many others don’t know the hardship of it all.

You are not alone in how you feel, you are not alone in this process, and you are not alone with your decisions.

There will be challenges and there will be tears, however, there are many rainbows within these storms I can assure you.

When To Have Your Second Baby – The Best Age Gap

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children sitting near a cactus plant
Photo by Natasha Babenko on Pexels.com

If you’re reading this, you’re probably ready for another baby. How exciting!

Well, actually is anyone really “ready”?

I should say, you’re ready to just take the leap! OR maybe you’re wondering when to have another baby. This blog will provide some insight on what I think is the perfect age gap for having another baby.

When I had my first baby my husband was already ready for another baby when she was 6 months old. Are you kidding me!? I definitely wasn’t. I felt like I was still adjusting and wasn’t ready to take on another baby when I currently had one. Plus, I was a little traumatized by my first birthing experience. Again, I just wasn’t ready.

Well, life throws you curve balls as we all know. We technically got a second baby when my first was 10 months old. Since they are the same age I categorize them together. They are like my little twins!

(If you’re interested in the story of how we got our second daughter you can search ‘blessing in disguise) or click below.

Noticing A Blessing In Disguise

When it comes to wanting a second baby you can’t always plan it out. Nature just takes it course and you go with it. However if you are able to somewhat plan it then plan for this age gap that I’m about to share!

The best time to start trying is when your child is a toddler, around 2 and a half. Which means when your new baby enters the world they will be about 3 years old maybe close to 4 years old.

Now of course this is my own opinion. I’m speaking through my experience and so far with having two three year olds and a newborn it’s been nothing but an amazing thing!!

Here’s why!

Why is 2-3 years the perfect age gap for a second baby?

  • Your toddler will more then likely be potty trained
  • Your toddler will love helping and enjoy the responsibility of being a big brother or big sister
  • Your child is mature enough to help you out
  • They know how to be gentle and are more resilient to obeying what you say
  • The jealousy is minimal, if anything they will be more possessive over the new baby
  • Your toddler is at an age when you can enroll him/her in preschool, which means more one on one time with your newborn
  • You’re less likely to go insane with a 2-3 year gap (#truth)
black and white childhood children cute
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Now as I mentioned preciously this perfect age gap is my own opinion and I’m speaking through my experience.

So far this age gap has been perfect! My girls help me, they all nap together, they are potty trained, they know how to play by themselves and our quiet during “quiet time”, and they are the best big sisters!!

I love watching this bond so much. It’s the perfect age gap.

20 Habits To Teach My Daughters

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woman carrying child in carrier while standing beside girl

Photo by Josh Willink on Pexels.com

As a mother and a parent you can only hope and pray that when the day comes for your kids to venture on their own and do their own thing that they will be more then okay.

More then anything you want them to always be happy, to chase their dreams and to overall be a good person.

As much as you always want them to need you, you also want them to be independent and to be able to solve their own problems and to provide solutions to others.

In order for them to be independent and successful it’s important to develop good habits at an early age. Of course that’s my own personal opinion.

Being a mother to 3 girls, it’s very important to me for them to develop good habits in more then one category.

I want them to live an amazing life, with more joy then regrets and fears. I hope they feel accomplished while staying humble. And I pray that my 3 daughters will always stay close with one another through their lives. (I have faith they will hold each other accountable when they don’t feel like confiding in my husband or myself)

Teaching my daughters good habits while they are young I feel will only benefit them.

To me it’s much easier to develop a good habit then to break a bad habit.

With that being said here’s a list of habits I will teach my daughters in hopes that they will continue these habits as they grow older with age.

I do believe in these good habits and I know they can provide fulfillment in their lives.

20 Habits To Teach My Daughters

1. To Always Make Your Bed

Making your bed is such an easy way to start your day in a positive way. It encourages you to keep the rest of your room clean and tidy and did you know that making your bed every morning lowers stress levels. Also a nice made bed just makes you feel good and is nice to get into when it’s time for bed, am I right ?

2. To Have A Vision

Having a vision on what you want in your life and what you want to accomplish leads to motivation and productivity. Having a vision helps you to stay focus on your dreams and goals. It’s about knowing where you are going and what you want to do along the way.

3. To Stay Active

There are numerous benefits to staying active in your life. Higher self esteem, more confidence, lower stress, more energy, and that’s just a few of them! I want my daughters to choose activities, to explore, and to challenge their amazing bodies. We are more capable then we think.

4. To Be Mindful Of Their Diet

Im not saying I don’t ever want my girls to eat junk food, that’s just not living. I want them to be mindful though. To eat foods that will provide for them and not just be full of empty calories. Your health is so important and no, you can’t control everything. However you can control what you are putting into your body.

5. To Pay Themselves First

I don’t want My Daughters ever living paycheck to paycheck. I’ve been there and I’ve seen it with working in banking. I don’t want my daughters constantly being or feeling stressed by money. Paying yourself first means to put money into a savings every time you get money . Debt is a heavy burden. I want my daughters to be smart with handling money.

6. To Read

Reading is so power and I truly believe that. There is so much to be said and to learn through books. Words can influence and inspire. To have a habit of reading is having a habit of eagerness to constantly learn and grow.

7. To Be A Giver

I want my daughters to always know, that they will always have enough to give. I want them to give freely. I know how good giving feels and it’s also something we are instructed to do. The more we give, the more that will be given to us. To help another person or persons is being a light in their life. And I will always encourage my daughters to shine bright.

8. To Be Optimistic

Life is life. It’s not always fair and many things will happen in life that we just won’t understand. However, we choose our attitudes and our behaviors. Remaining optimistic and trusting in all situations will provide more peace in our lives. Who doesn’t want more peace and rest and in their life. I know if my daughters can remain optimistic through even the tough times that they will live a happier life and uplift others along the way.

9. To ALWAYS be Grateful

You’ve heard it before, omebody always has it worse. When you think your situation is a horrible one you will only be shown how grateful you really should be. I want my daughters to give thanks in all things, even the bad things. Everything that happens is shaping and guiding us in some way. Our trials are what strengthen us. No matter what, I want them to always be grateful.

10. To Clean Up After Themselves

People don’t like messy people. Sorry not sorry. It’s polite, it’s good manners, and cleanliness is just overall a great habit to have. I don’t think I need to say anymore.

11. To Always Take Time To Learn Someone’s Story

Everyone has a story. Not all are comfortable sharing theirs but some need to share theirs. Listen to them, learn from them. It is a privilege when someone decides to share something very personal with you. I want my daughters to take the time to listen to what someone can offer them through their own experiences. And to always thank them after they share something. It can take some courage sharing a story, we all know that much.

12. To Treat Yourself, Often

Often times we do so much for others that we forget to take care of ourselves. Treating ourselves lifts our spirit, boosts our mood, and is overall refreshing. It’s important to take care of yourself. Your happiness matters. As my daughters grow up and their lives become busy I will constantly be asking, “What have you done for yourself?”

13. To Sleep When Tired

Sleep is rejuvenating and we need sleep to properly function. It’s so important to listen to your body when it is tired and needs rest. Don’t just drink another coffee or energy drink. If the body is tired then rest. I also believe sleep has healing powers. I wish for my daughters to develop good sleeping habits.

14. To Be Courteous Of Others

I want my daughters to be courteous and respectful of others. Everyone has a story and everyone is going through something or has gone through something. There is no room to judge others or to ever think you are superior of another person.

15. To Pray/Meditate Daily

Prayer. Enough said. ( Joshua 1:9) I know with prayer my daughters will never feel alone.

16. To Live More Minimal Vs. Material

Less is more. The greatest things in life are not material things. Those types of things can only provide a temporary happiness. Then we become bored, and want something else. Training ourselves to live minimally and developing a habit of separating needs and wants will take you much farther and provide more clarity and freedom. I don’t want my daughters feeling they have to have specific items to feel joy.

17. To Practice Affirmations Often

Affirmations provide a type of awareness and self identity. We are capable of so much however many times we convince ourselves that we are not deserving or worthy. With practicing positive affirmations often we are reminding ourselves of our potential and what we are capable of. With encouraging my daughters to do affirmations I know they will begin to recognize how strong, courageous, and beautiful they truly are.

18. To Laugh At Yourself

We aren’t perfect, we are human. We are going to make mistakes in our life. Instead of dwelling over something that is out of our control or becoming fixated on something in the past we need to develop a habit of laughing at ourselves and brushing it off. We can’t change what’s been done but we can control our reactions. I want my daughters to learn to laugh at themselves vs beating themselves up.

19. To Serve Others

We all need one another. Giving your time is the best gift you can give. There are so many opportunities to serve others and in doing so I know others will help them when they are in need.

20. To Always Pause, And Enjoy The Moment

You know that country song that goes, “I’m in a hurry to get things done oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun, all I really gotta do is live and die, but I’m in a hurry and I don’t know why.”

We are always in a rush. Our mind is always on the next thing. We become so distracted that we don’t stop and enjoy where we are. Life is too short and too fragile to not just embrace moments. I want my daughters to stop and enjoy the sunset, to lay outside and look at the stars, to put their phones down. I want them to stop and to smell the flowers.

“Here’s To Strong Women. May We Know Them. May We Be Them. May We Raise Them.”

 

What kind of habits are you teaching your daughters?

A Guide To Mentally Preparing Yourself For A C-Section – You Got This Mama

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Whether you have been scheduled a c-section or you’re anticipating one, it can be a little overwhelming.

Especially if you’ve had already one and it wasn’t a good experience. Could have been an emergency one or something different. Whatever the case, it may have left you on edge a bit.

Thinking of labor and delivery may be the last thing you want to do because you’re probably scared to relive it or you’re afraid of the unknown of going through it.

Which btw is completely normal to experience these feelings and anxiety before a c-section.

I know the feeling of fear leading up to a c-section. I had an emergency one with my first. My second was scheduled. I was absolutely terrified. To the point of crying pretty much anytime anyone brought it up to me.

When I found out I was pregnant I already anticipated that I would be having another c-section. The fear I had of having to go through that again stole joy from my pregnancy. It was difficult for me to enjoy because I was so fixated on what I was going to have to go through again. I was stuck on THAT experience. Assuming it would be the exact same way. (note: emergency and scheduled really are completely different.)

I want you to know that I know how you’re feeling and I really hope this blog post can help you ease your mind and go into this procedure with a strong and courageous attitude!

Below is exactly what I did and I’m so happy I took the time to mentally prepare myself. I didn’t want my baby entering the world with a stressed mama and I wanted to embrace and be brave through this experience. 

(If you have questions or concerns or just want to talk about how you’ve been feeling please don’t hesitate to contact me.)

A Guide To Mentally Preparing Yourself For A C-Section

(This was a repeat c-section for me. My first was an emergency and my second one was scheduled and what a completely different experience it was. I also healed way faster then with my first. I was still scared naturally ,however taking the time to mentally prepare myself helped me beyond measures. I truly hope what I did may help you in someway as well.)

  • Listen To Soothing Music

Music is proven to calm down anxiety. What I did was I bought “soothing music” on iTunes. (The type of music you would hear while getting a massage.) I would go to sleep with it on a night because that was often the time my fears would really set it. I listened to this type of music a week prior of my scheduled c-section. I know it helped calming my nerves.

  • Say Daily Affirmations

Affirmations are more powerful then you may believe. Saying affirmations truly helped me to overcome my fears and negative thoughts. Whenever I caught myself thinking the worst I would say or think to myself,

“I am strong and courageous. I am not afraid. I know God is with me.”

This is in reference to the scripture Joshua 1:9. I can’t even express how much power I would feel saying this often and how much peace it brought me.

  • Read Positive Uplifting C-Sections Stories (They do exist)

When people hear “c-section” they often associate it with a negative experience. People will often give you a cringe type of look when you tell them you have a scheduled C-section or that you’ve had a C-section.

I want you to know there are some great, uplifting, positive stories out there. You just have to search them. These stories can provide some type of relief that your experience can be just as wonderful and positive as theirs.

  • Express Your Concerns And Fears To Your Doctor

This is very important. My hope is that you trust and are very comfortable with your Doctor. Let her or him know how you have been feeling. They will do their absolute best to calm you and make this a very pleasant experience for you.

When I had my c-section I requested to have oxygen to keep me calm. I didn’t even end up using it because I was able to calm myself down mentally. I was so proud myself. My doctors and nurses were also extremely amazing and made me feel so safe and comfortable. I cannot thank them enough for going above and beyond for me.

  • Talk About It

When I was able to talk about my delivery without crying I knew I was making progress. The more you actually talk about the procedure and recovery the more comfortable and confident you will be going in.

  • Make A Mental Check List

I read a blog titled ‘What To Expect When Having A C-Section By An L&D Nurse’. Her blog literally walked me through exactly what I went through.

It helps knowing what to expect so you aren’t caught off guard by anything. So when we left in the morning I started checking off things in my head, I was somewhat a step ahead or already knew what the next step would be. I felt more in control of the situation.

(This is a glimpse of what I was checking off in my head. I made a checklist on my notes app.)

  • Try To Have Your Procedure Scheduled In The Morning

The sooner the better. Statistically less complications happen in surgeries scheduled in the morning. This will provide a little peace of mind for you if you can be scheduled in the morning.

Also the Doctors and Nurses are just starting their day. They are alert and hopefully well rested to care for you as their first patient.

  • Pray (Ask For Prayers)/Meditate

Pray, pray, pray. I am a believer in prayers and I know God hears them. This is where your faith and trust is truly strengthened.

And it is OKAY to ask for prayers. It’s more then okay.

  • Distract Yourself

When you feel your mind being directed back to your fears DISTRACT YOURSELF. Worrying truly isn’t going to do anything but steal joy from enjoying your days and nights.

What I did was play and entertain my other two daughters, read, and wrote blogs. It kept me busy and mind off other stuff.

  • Trust And Think About Meeting Your Baby

Put all your focus on meeting your little miracle. Express your gratitude and try your best to just enjoy the moment and all the little details. You will be so happy you did.

It will all be worth it Mama. Before you know you will be holding your sweet baby. You got this.

I know you can do this. I am praying for you and I wish you a happy and healthy delivery. As well as a super fast recovery.

The Only 10 Things You Need To Pack For Your Scheduled C-Section

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This may be your first baby or it might be your second pregnancy like mine. Whatever your situation may be, you have been scheduled a C-section.

I had my first baby 3 years ago and that little munchkin did not want to come out. I don’t blame her though. My belly had been her home for months and now we were trying to force her out. Long story short my first labor and delivery resulted in an emergency C-section.

If you aren’t prepared to have a C-section, it can be a very overwhelming experience. Some of you can relate I’m sure. However, I have made a list of things not to forget to bring with you to the hospital so your experience can be more of a positive one and to make it as comfortable as possible.

Often times when we feel overwhelmed or stressed it’s because we feel out of control in our situation. With having a scheduled C-section you already have more control then other Mothers going into delivery. For the most part you have an idea of the process and what the recovery will be like.

(My advice if this is your first C-section; read positive uplifting C-section stories, express your concerns to your doctor, and trust.)

This list will help you be more prepared and will be a great outline to customizing your own hospital bag.

  1. BOOKS/MAGAZINES/MOVIES/IPOD

Bringing books or movies will help you to stay entertained while you are waiting. Before the surgery and for after. If books or movies aren’t your thing, I would suggest packing whatever it is that soothes you and will help the time pass.

I bought some soothing music on iTunes nights prior to my surgery to calm my nerves. It helped tremendously.

2. A ROBE/NIGHTGOWN/COMFORTABLE PAJAMAS

I am all about being comfortable. While you can stay in your hospital gown the whole time (exactly what I wore the whole time for my first) this time around you may want to feel a little bit more like yourself and in something that is yours.

You will be in the hospital for about 2-4 days, depending on your situation. In that period of time you will want to wear clothing that is not to body hugging or tight. The looser, the better.

This time around I ordered a loose, breastfeeding nightgown from amazon. A robe is great as well because it allows you to be completely covered when necessary but also extremely easy to uncover when needed.

3. BOPPY PILLOW

With my first C-section the pain totally caught me off guard and I was having the most difficult time figuring out breastfeeding. I couldn’t get into any comfortable positions and I became so frustrated. Arriving home from the hospital I began to use my boppy pillow that I received as a gift from my baby shower, which became my breastfeeding lifesaver.

Using it at home, I wished I had brought it with me to the hospital. Bringing the pillow this time will make nursing my baby so much easier and more accommodating for the both of us while we are in the hospital.

(When getting comfortable with breastfeeding I don’t know but newborns love the ‘football position’. The boppy pillow makes it very easy to be comfortable for you and baby.)

4. COMFORTABLE FOOTWEAR

Don’t forget your slippers/crocs/or whatever your favorite comfortable shoes are. It’s encouraged to walk for a faster recovery after having a C-Section.

If this is your first C-Section, it will be difficult at first. I am positive my recovery could have been better if I had got moving but I just laid in bed. And when I did start moving my calves became very sore which scared me, and then that lead me to the emergency room because of googling.

Don’t just lay in bed. Take your pain meds, wear your belly band (the hospital should provide one) put on your slippers and walk as much as you can Mama. Your nurses will be encouraging you!

5. SNACKS

After your baby’s arrival you’re going to be tired and hungry. Especially because you were just required to fast before your surgery.

Although you’ll be hungry you may not be able to eat due the aftermath of the anesthesia. It made me extremely nauseous so I actually didn’t eat till the following day after my surgery.

However once you do regain your strength you will be very hungry and having some assessable snacks will provide convenience to you and whoever else is with you.

6. YOUR OWN PILLOW/BLANKET

With my first labor and delivery I didn’t anticipate staying in the hospital as long as I did. Looking back it would have been nice to have my own pillow and blanket. A little piece of home to make the nights and stay that much better and soothing.

7. UNDERWEAR

Just because you’re having a C-section doesn’t mean you are not going to bleed. Often times we forget about the fun stuff that comes with recovery after birth.

Pack underwear that you don’t mind if it gets ruined, because more then likely it will. in a nutshell, you’re going to want underwear that can support giant maxi-pads.

(The hospital will more then likely supply all your pads and underwear needs so have peace of mind that even if you forget or don’t include this in your hospital bag your hospital has got you covered girl!)

8. CAMERA/CHARGER

Double check you brought both. You are going to want to capture so many moments! These are the pictures you’ll be looking back on and wanting to cry about every time. Especially as they get older and older.

The hospital stay goes by so fast and before you know it you are at home. Take it all in and capture all the details!

9. TOILETRIES

Keep it simple. More then likely you’ll have at least one shower in the hospital, so I would recommend bringing your own towel as well.

Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash, brush, lip balm. Keep it to a minimal. You just had a surgery!

( Your hospital will more then likely provide all of this! So don’t stress if you forgot something!)

10. GOING HOME OUTFITS FOR YOU AND BABY

What a relief it is when they tell you that you can all go home.

I would suggest a loose dress for yourself. Again, you don’t want to wear anything that’s going to be rubbing against your incision.

That’s it!! Keep your hospital bag simple and don’t overpack.

Oh my goodness who else can’t wait to hold their newborn!

person covering infant with swaddling blanket

Photo by Isaac Taylor on Pexels.com

What are the things you are packing in your hospital bag that you don’t want to forget? I’d love to hear your thoughts or experience’s with your scheduled C-section.

Wishing you all a healthy, smooth, amazing, labor and delivery. A moment to cherish forever, that also goes by way too fast.

 

 

 

Confront Your Fears And Struggles With These 8 Affirmations – Scripture References Included

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Everyone is going through something. No matter how they appear on the outside is irrelevant to what they may be experiencing on the inside.

Life has its hard moments. Moments where you feel like you are suffocating, you feel restrained, you feel unworthy, you feel defeated, you are fearful to the unknown.

When these obstacles visit, they typically visit unannounced and typically strike very hard. No preparation, they just completely catch you off guard. Leaving you bruised and winded.

I know it’s challenging when these moments happen or when you can’t seem to break free of these demons that are haunting you. Not everyone will know what you are going through. However I want to share that everyone knows the feeling of struggle in some form or another.

I want you to know that trials and tribulations are apart of life and they help us to strengthen our faith. When you think you are alone, I want you to know that you are not alone. I also don’t want you to give up. Never give up. Progression never ends and you will always have to work to get to the other side. Hard moments, fearful moments, challenging moments…they do not last forever.

In James 1:2-4 it is mentioned that we should be joyful during the trials in our life. These times are a true test of our faith in our Heavenly Father.

The Holy Bible – James 1:2-4

2. My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,

3. knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

4. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 

An Affirmation is a statement; you are declaring something. With saying these affirmations you are gaining power and not allowing your thoughts or attitude to go negative. This control of your mind is crucial in maturing and moving forward. When you find yourself thinking or behaving in a negative manner stop what you are doing and say a few affirmations to yourself. Just keep saying it, and don’t stop.

The more you say these affirmations the more they will resonate with you, the stronger your faith will become, and soon enough your armor will be indestructible. You will be able to handle anything that life throws at you.

Because remember, you are never alone in your turmoil.

With saying these affirmations I know it will provide the courage to take on whatever trial or trouble you are currently facing in your life.

God Bless You. 

Confront Your Fears And Struggles With These 8 Affirmations – Scripture References Included

(I encourage you to look up these scripture references and to highlight them. There may come a time when you are reading and this highlighted scripture will jump at you when you need it the most)

  • I trust in and love God completely, he is the only one I truly need and will direct me where to go Proverbs 3:5-6
  • God is my strength and is with me always Philippians 4:13 Psalm 23:4
  • I do not fear, I know God will not leave me Deuteronomy 31:6 Genesis 21:22
  • When I am afraid I will trust in God Psalm 25:2-5
  • I am living on purpose and will do great things Jeremiah 32:19 Ephesians 2:10
  • I am a confident person that does not worry Matthew 6:25-34
  • Through my trials my faith with only strengthen and mature James 1:2-4
  • I will choose to do things that I am afraid of 2 Timothy 1:7 
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Photo by Julian Jagtenberg on Pexels.com

God loves you and he wants you live a joyful life. He knows what he is doing. I know it can be difficult but trusting the Lord will provide peace in your life.

I pray these affirmations will provide peace for you. They have helped me tremendously and I know they can help you as well.

Please share any thoughts or comments, or feel free to contact me.

Thank you!

Quiet Activities To Do With Your Spouse Once The Kids Fall Asleep

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What do you and your spouse do once the kids fall asleep?

Do you both get on your phones, or attend to solo activities that don’t involve each other? Be honest!

First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong if you do those things. My husband and I spend many evenings like that. We each have our own things we want to do or catch up on.

However we both know that when the kids are down for the night that it’s also an opportunity to spend some time together. Might not be able to go on an actual date but we can definitely do an activity with one another.

I have a list of activities below that you and your spouse can do once the kids fall asleep. They are fairly quiet activities so both of you won’t have to worry about waking up your kids. 

Quiet Activities To Do With Your Spouse Once The Kids Fall Asleep

1. Do A Puzzle Together

Honestly, when is the last time you’ve even done a puzzle? This is a great quiet activity with many benefits for the both of you. Lowers stress levels, delays dementia, improves your memory, and that’s just a few! There are so many “puzzle levels” out there, so have fun picking one out together and accomplishing it together.

2. Watch A Movie Or A Documentary

Netflix, amazon prime, red-box. Movies are so accessible these days. And there are a lot of great ones out there! A great opportunity to snuggle with your honey like old times. While cuddling you two will be increasing your oxytocin levels, which, makes you both feel calm and at ease. I knew I loved cuddling for a reason. 

4. Give Each Other Massages

Light some candles and bring out the essentials oils. Another great stress reliever. We could all use less stress right?

Go full body. If you’ve never had your butt massaged you’re missing out my friend.

5. Do Self Portraits of One Another

We’ve all seen Titanic right? Where Jack does a self portrait of Rose and she’s naked. I’m not saying you need to be naked but definitely have fun with this one. Make it a competition and have your friends pick the best one!

warning: you both may begin to laugh uncontrollably. 

6. Read Together

Whether it be magazines or a novel this is a great time to stimulate your brain and then have an open discussion about what you’re reading.

7. Give Each Other A Foot Rub

Currently getting a foot rub now as I write this haha. Have I mentioned how much I love my husband.

This is such a great thing to do for one another. It’s relaxing, feels good, and gets the blood flowing!

8. Go Outside And Stargaze

This obviously depends on the weather. But if the weather is nice pull out the lawn chairs and just enjoy the stars. Let the deep convos begin. What is life?

9. Cook Or Bake Something Together

The possibilities are endless! Don’t make it too complicated of course. You could make cookies, prepare some overnight French toast for breakfast (yummm), get messy with rice krispy treats, make some French bread pizzas, etc!

10. Slow dance

I’m such a sucker for the lovey dovey stuff. Turn the music on low, dim the lights, and just dance. Something so simple yet so intimate. Dance to your wedding song and get lost in the moment.

Have you heard the song Heaven by Kane Brown? Oh my goodness, you’ll cry.

11. Do Yoga Together

Yoga is a great way to wind down and enter a relaxing state of mind. You two can get even more creative with couple yoga poses. If you two end up laughing hysterically because these couple poses are winning, I say embrace it.

12. Do Facials Together

Try a DIY facial or get some sheet masks from the store. Definitely take a picture. Who doesn’t love a refreshing face to kiss later!

13. Play Cards Or A Board Game Together, Like Scrabble

Bring on the nostalgia. Let the inner child be exposed and start reminiscing with one another. A great time to learn even more about each other and how you want to raise your children.

14. Make Ice Cream Sundaes Together

Go all out and do full on ice cream Sundaes! I’m talking hot fudge, nuts, cherries on top, whip cream, the works! Or make up your own type of Sundae together! This is teamwork if you ask me.

Or, just have ice cream cones like this couple pictured above, they look like they are having fun.

15. Plan A Vacation

Make some coffee or tea and take a moment to dream together. Plan a trip and write down some goals you two would like to accomplish. You two are more likely to accomplish those goals when you write them down. Once you’re done writing your goals place them in an area where you two can see them often.

16. Take A Bubble Bath Together

Dim the lights, light some candles for a very relaxing and intimate time. Pop open a bottle of bubbly or open a bottle of wine. Relax.

Remember the scene in Pretty Woman? You two can recreate that. If this leads to something else, don’t look at me!

17. Have A Staring Contest

Believe it or not looking into each other’s eyes is a very intimate thing. Fall in love with each other all over again with this fun activity.

Tell each other why you love one another. Sounds cheesy, but you’ll never forget the sweet things he ends up telling you.

There ya have it! A few quiet activities you can enjoy with your spouse once the kiddos are sleeping tight!

Any quiet activities you would like to share? I’d love to hear it!

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you can have fun and become closer to your spouse with a few of these!

I have 3 Requests Before You Meet My Newborn

The Wild GemsLeave a comment

Having a newborn is a very joyful, exciting, and can be extremely overwhelming and stressful experience. Especially if this is your first baby.

With figuring out breastfeeding, motherhood paranoia, a body that is still healing from birth, sleep deprivation…..it’s a lot to process in the beginning. Not to mention your hormones are now adjusting to this change that just happened. It’s exhausting.

And everyone adapts differently. Everyone. Don’t compare your yourself to anyone else.

Once you have your newborn, it’s like flys to a light. Everyone wants to come visit you and meet your new little bundle.

First of all, if you’re a new mom, don’t feel obligated to tell everyone yes to meeting your baby right away. This is a precious time and again, you’re also healing. They can wait.

With my first I didn’t allow anyone to see me or meet my baby in the hospital. Everyone is different I know, but personally I didn’t want to see anyone. Not even my family. And once we got home, everyone wanted to come visit….and for the most part I let them.

But in my head I was thinking I just had major surgery, I’m bleeding right now, I’m in pain, I’m so tired…….why are you here? Let me be for a little bit and give me a moment to bond with my baby. But did I say any of that…..of course not.

When you have your baby believe it or not you become extremely possessive and mama bear kicks in high gear. You let people hold your baby but in your head you’re shouting; give her back! Don’t hold her like that! Okay, she wants her mom now….

With a new baby, have people visit when YOU are ready.

Remember this is YOUR baby. It’s OK to have a few requests with people meeting your baby for the first time. Know that much.

SO with that being said, I’d like to share my own requests:

  1. If You’re Sick, Please Stay Away

You’d think this would be a no brainer but it’s surprisingly not! Well, truth be told I think deep down people know they shouldn’t be getting close to a new baby when they are sick but unfortunately it happens. And it happens often sadly enough.

Listen, I know you may be anxious to see those cute little cheeks and baby lips. But if you are sick, feel like you are getting sick, or literally just got over something please STAY AWAY.

Please wait till you are better. This is a newborn, my newborn, and I don’t want any harm to my baby.

2. DO NOT Kiss MY Baby 

Please do not kiss my baby, ESPECIALLY, on the lips. This is my baby and I do not feel comfortable with you kissing my baby.

Now, you may offend people with this request, if you choose to tell people the same thing. Shocking I know, but unfortunately true. The people you will offend are the family members. But listen, they need to respect your wishes. If you see them kissing your baby, do not hesitate to step in and say something if you are not comfortable with it. Also, don’t feel the need to explain your reasoning.

As I mentioned previously, I am not comfortable with it. That is all I need to say.

3. Make Sure Your Hands Are Clean

Please, if you’re going to hold my baby, wash your hands before you hold her. More then likely you’re going to be admiring how adorable her little feet and hands are which will you lead you to touching them….

But what you don’t know is she sucks on her hands for comfort.

Now you know why I ask that your hands are clean.


Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Those are my requests

  • If you’re sick, please stay away
  • Do not kiss my baby
  • Make sure your hands are clean

Simple, right?

Do you have any newborn requests or stories you’d like to share in relation to my requests. Please let me know!

Enjoy your newborn Mama, and don’t be afraid to put the foot down when needed. 

  

For You…Daughter – I Wish And Hope

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A poem dedicated to you
(This poem is not written by The Wild Gems, all credit is given to Joan Benicken. Thank you for your beautiful poem.)

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‘My Hope for you, Daughter’

I can’t give you the world,

filled with all its riches.

I can’t promise you a life free from

sickness, pain, and disappointment,

for that is a gift not mine to give.

I cannot guarantee that you

will never feel your heart break.

My only hope for you is that

you fulfill the dreams deep within you.

I wish for you to know yourself

and be faithful to yourself.

For if you do,

you will be able to fully love others.

Be free to choose your course in life

without fearing a wrong decision.

Reflect on what you have been taught,

and take time to listen to your heart.

Never lose the ability to feel with open arms

all the passion and joy that life holds for you.

Give all you have

without looking for something in return.

Reach out for that which you can attain

and not for that which is impossible.

My hope for you, my daughter,

is that you will be all you can be,

for only then will you awaken

to the person you want to be.

– Joan Benicken

From the book ‘There Is So Much to Love About You…Daughter’ A Blue Mountain Arts Collection