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Soften The Heart: Devotional #23

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Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.

Psalm 127:4-5

In this scripture we understand the significance of children. It is made clear how much of a gift that they are. Children are the arrows, they are the direction, they are the way. If we pay attention to the children they will lead us to the answers that we seek.

You’ve heard before that, “Children are the future.” Thats because they are THE FUTURE.

To have any children in your life is a blessing. Whether you have children of your own, nieces or nephews, maybe you’re a teacher, counselor, you’ve adopted, etc. “Bless is he whose quiver is full of them.”

(A quiver is a case that holds the arrows of the warrior.)

God has placed the children in your life as a blessing. See them as such.

With this awareness you can become more mindful of your influence around children. With this awareness, you understand that you are the one shaping them. Whether you have given birth to them or not, you are apart of their “maintenance and care”. So that they, like arrows, may be strong and sturdy. That they may hit their intended target.

Born doesn’t just mean to to give birth, it mean’s “to bring forth”. Any children brought to you in your life are a blessing. The scripture tells us this.

This scripture also tells us that we need children as much as they need us. How does a warrior fight without his arrows? How does an arrow fly without its warriors?

We are to be strong warriors with our bows and arrows (patience, calm, precision, is what makes a good archer) and we are to direct them. We are responsible for the accuracy and sharpness.

God has given us the best weapon to defeat the evils of this earth. To restore peace and love. We have been given the gift of children.

God also reminds us that we will struggle inevitably out there on the courts. In life.

However the more arrows that we have in our quiver the better. Which I interpret as the more children you influence in a positive way the more that they will influence others in positive way.

For every hand you touch, you touch every hand they touch as well.

We have great power to influence children and this awareness helps us to be more observant and patient with them. WE are what shape those arrows, WE are the ones that pull the arrows back and release.

Arrows that are shot with no intention can hurt and destroy. It’s important and vital that we understand who we are, that when the time comes to launch our children out into this world, they too will be warriors.

10 Questions About STRESS Answered – Gaining More PEACE In Your Life Gives More PEACE To Others

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First of all I want to acknowledge this awesome photo who I wish I knew who to give the credit to. I love how it depicts stress. We can appear calm but be fuming on the inside where it feels like our heads are actually on fire and we are covered in dark, heavy smoke.

We may be so use to the smoke that it’s just become apart of our day to day life. With this blog I want to extinguish some of that fire and help you to see through the smoke.

Your heads still going to catch on fire from time to time let’s be honest but maybe we can make a fire extinguisher more accessible for you and for others.

10 Questions About STRESS Answered – Gaining More PEACE In Your Life Gives More PEACE To Others

1. First of all what is stress? How is it defined?

Stress is a feeling of emotional strain and pressure. Stress is feeling out of control. Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. It’s feelings of tension.

Stress is your body’s reaction to a change or challenge. Stressors can be positive and negative.

2. How do we react when we are stressed?

There are mental, physical, and behavioral ways of reacting to stress.

Examples of mental could include feeling overwhelmed, loosing your temper, feelings of irritability, thoughts of self harm, racing thoughts, etc.

Examples of physical could include headaches, digestive problems, muscle tension, even your breathing can change.

Examples of behavioral could include jaw clenching, biting your nails, even becoming verbally or physically aggressive.

3. Who gets stressed?

EVERYONE experiences stress. Even babies and children.

4. What are things that cause stress?

An overall answer to which causes stress could be lack of control over a situation.

Common examples could include; life changes, work, family, financial problems, health.

Not so common examples could include; unrealistic expectations and even procrastination.

Most things that cause stress fall under one of those categories above.

5. When do you feel stressed?

  • When you are under lots of pressure.
  • When you face big changes in your life.
  • When you are worried about something.
  • When you don’t have much or any control over the outcome of a situation.
  • When you have responsibilities that you find overwhelming.
  • When you don’t have enough work, activities or change in your life.

6. Does our stress affect the people around you?

The short answer is ABSOLUTELY. There is such a thing called ‘secondhand stress or stress contagion’ if you can believe it!

Stress from others can affect your own stress levels even if there is no direct interaction.

Stress contagion can happen through social and biological mechanisms, such as pheromones, social cues, and emotional expression. For example, people are four times more likely to catch stress from someone they know, such as family, friends, or coworkers.

People that are stressed release a chemical that can be inhaled by those around them, causing these people to become more anxious, as well.

Read more about it here.

7. Can you be stressed and not even know it?

Yes. Feeling unwell or becoming sick could actually be caused by stress.

Many of us are so used to feeling stressed that we may not even know it until we get sick. 

Often times we also mistake anxiety for stress.

8. What happens if we ignore stress?

Ignoring our stress can lead to poor mental health and physical health over time which can take a toll on your body and open all sorts of un-fun doors. Obesity, diabetes, heart problems, and that’s just to name a few.

9. Why does stress happen?

It happens to help us, ultimately. Stress is the bodies response to pressure.

When we are stressed our body releases adrenaline and the hormone cortisol. Cortisol is “natures built in alarm system.” It’s a steroid hormone that our body releases in response to stress to reduce inflammation.

10. How can we reduce the stress in our lives?

There are many ways that we can reduce stress in our lives.

Examples include:

  • Good sleeping/eating habits
  • Yoga
  • Meditation
  • Exercising
  • Asking for help
  • Decluttering
  • Going for walks
  • Saying NO
  • Mindful breathing
  • Making time for hobbies
  • Acknowledgement of our stress
  • Connecting with others

And that’s just a few!

Overall stress isn’t going ANYWHERE but understanding it and acknowledging it is one way we can learn to better flow with it.

And when we can better flow with it we will develop more peace in our lives and give back more peace to those we love around us.

Lots of love always,

Marie

Hello My Readers – I’m Still Here

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Hi my beautiful readers!

I have not posted in awhile and I am so sorry for that! As most of you know I have 4 little ones and they keep me very busy! It’s been hard to get moments to really write or share anything.

I do want to share though that I can be followed on Facebook and instagram where I share things on there as well 🙂 .

Instagram – thewildgems

(On this instagram I share all sorts of things! It’s kind of like an abstract painting lol. There’s a lot going on)

Facebook – the wild gems

On this Facebook page I share videos that I’ve watched that inspired me, quotes, feel good things)

And I did create another instagram very recently where I kind of just share my thoughts under

gemwilde

Looking forward to connecting more! You all mean so much to me! I am grateful to share this journey with you all! I feel truly thankful.

Lots of love,

Marie

Dear Readers, My Birth Mom Passed Away

The Wild Gems2 Comments

My birth mom passed away. It’s been a week now. It’s lead to an indescribable type of grief that I feel very alone in if I’m honest. And I feel compelled to just release some of the things that I’m feeling at the moment.

My aunt (my birth mom’s sister) texted me last Wednesday telling me that she had passed. I had never met her. That wasn’t my choice. I’ve been wanting to meet her my whole life and I actually almost did last spring but it just didn’t happen because she had somewhere to be apparently. Who knows what the full truth is. I can feel I’m not being told everything. I know she was mentally unstable. Suffered from schizophrenia. But how she died seems to be unknown. She checked into the hospital for something, was there for a few weeks, and passed “with family by her side”.

I was really upset at first, clearly I still am. My birth mom was in the hospital for a few weeks and my aunt didn’t tell me? The opportunity to meet the woman who birthed me is gone and it breaks my heart.

All of this pain as being an adoptee has resurfaced I don’t even know how to handle it. I just keep crying. I never knew any biological family until I turned 29. I always felt so completely alone growing up.

I haven’t even told my adoptive parents that my birth mom has passed because it’s just going to make them uncomfortable and they’ll probably say I’m sorry and that’s about it.

When I told them I had found biological family on ancestry there was no happiness for me. There was fear. Never have they ever really talked to me about how I felt being adopted. But they didn’t know, I know that. I was just a grateful child who hid the wounds very very well.

Having adopted two children (my niece and nephew on my husband’s side) I will be a different parent. Their wounds will get the oxygen they need. And I will help them find answers.

I’m just sad right now. I’m just really really sad and another adoptee told that I’m experiencing disenfranchised grief. Basically it’s a grief that’s not understood or validated.

It’s lonely. It’s lonely to want to share this with more people in my life but they won’t get it but also I think…I don’t want to share because I’m not ready to fully reveal how much I’ve been holding in and for so long. Plus I can’t talk about this without crying.

I think that’s why I love this blog world so much. I can be so raw and just let it out. And no one close is going to read this because hardly anyone I know reads my stuff, and if they even do they never say anything.

And if you just read this, wow, thank you. Thank you for hearing me for a moment. Thank you for letting me cry and share.

To be a grown up and still this lost at times and here I am raising children…..

How do you guide children when you aren’t even sure of the way,

Ps – I do have a picture now of my birth mom when she was probably about 18. My youngest daughter has her eyes. They’re so beautiful.

Dear Readers, I’m Sorry I Haven’t Posted In Awhile

The Wild Gems2 Comments

Good morning my beautiful readers, how are you all doing?

I’m still here, and I am sorry that I have not shared anything in quite some time. To be honest I’ve just been very busy and this blog hasn’t been a priority at the moment.

I have 4 kids in case you didn’t know. An 8 year old, a 7 year old, a 4 year old, and a 1 year old. I’m a busy mama. And no, we didn’t just boom boom and decide to have kids back to back. Two of them are biological and two are adopted.

I know I don’t have to share that at all but I want those who read this to really understand. I like to joke that I got the “have a baby get one free deal” because that’s exactly what happened.

We actually just adopted my son (the one year old) in January. So thankful that that has been finalized.

I like to consider myself an open book so if you ever read any of my posts and would like clarification on anything don’t ever hesitate to ask me. We are friends on here I like to think.

Anyways, I’ve been busy. But it’s been a good busy.

I’m going to make an effort to release all that I’ve been absorbing and share it with you all.

I’m getting back into reading and I’ve already gained so much new insight! I love it!

Thank you my readers for taking the time to read what I share.

There’s something so intimate and comforting about being in the blogging community.

Lots of love, always

– Marie

The Wild Gems

Dear Readers, I’m Grateful For Good Conversation

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I’ve realized that I don’t enjoy surface level conversation. And what I really mean by that is I don’t enjoy gossiping at all. I don’t like listening to people talk about others in a negative way to others.

I was hanging out with some mom friends that I actually met through my daughters. It’s not like we had bad conversation but it would also be like, “how do you feel about this person?….” Or, “what do you think of this person?”

I just couldn’t engage. I feel like I’ve read enough books where you can’t judge people like that. You never know what an individual has gone through or has experienced. It’s not fair. Where’s the empathy?

During this girl time I felt incredibly reserved and wanted to just blurt out, “is anyone reading anything good right now?” But I just listened and observed and recognized.

The kinds of conversations that I enjoy is talking about history or insane memoirs from people you’ve never heard of. I want to talk about things you’ve learned or an experience that changed your life. I want to engage on how to make this world better not degrading another persons way of handling things.

Tell me something funny that made you laugh! Or something that freaks you out! Or can we talk about how this whole earth experience is crazy in itself. Like, isn’t this all so weird? You know what I mean?

But…..

in order to have these types of conversations one has to give themselves permission to be vulnerable and to have a degree of confidence in themselves I feel.

I have had some amazing conversations with other people that I just can’t believe what they have shared with me. And I feel incredibly honored to make a person feel comfortable enough to sharing intimate details of their life with me.

When we let our guard down we help others to do the same. But some people don’t let their guard down because I believe there’s a level of insecurity or fear.

And that’s okay. With time we all evolve.

Thanks for listening :).

Share something with me if you have a moment! Would love to learn about YOU, My dear reader!

– mg

Hey YOU, You’re Beautiful

The Wild Gems2 Comments

I don’t need to know you or see you to know that you reading this, dear reader, are beautiful.

Sometimes we need to be reminded how special and unique we are. Allow me to remind you.

You are a once in a lifetime. Shaped and molded in a way that cannot be duplicated. A rare commodity.

You aren’t perfect my friend, and guess what, nobody is. Each of us is flawed in our own way. But isn’t is wonderful?

How boring it would be if we were all the same and shared all the same experiences. It’s our differences that bring color and vibrancy to this world and universe. It’s the differences that help us to grow and grant us permission to see through the many different filters of life.

Celebrate those “imperfections”. Learn to love yourself. Learn to see yourself. You are worthy of your own love. Love yourself. You are loved.

There is no need to seek approval from the outside. When unkindness greets in those unexpected moments you shake it off immediately and most definitely don’t take it personally.

But again, I don’t need to know you or see to know that you are beautiful. You are. You are a miracle. You are here, you are alive. You’re doing it.

You’re a gift, you know that right? You truly are. You have purpose. You have value. You have magic flowing in you. There is so much light in you, even if right now the clouds are blocking the view. It’s there glowing brightly.

You are beautiful.

Camping Is Where I Want To Be

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Have you ever been camping?

This is a funny question to me. I can’t help but smirk. A flood of camping memories come to mind.

Have you ever been camping is like asking me do you drink water? What kind of question is this!

Camping has always been apart of my life. Since I was a kid! Camping with family in Alaska, girls camp in cabins, and does sleeping in your backyard count? Sure it does, why not!

But the love for camping especially grew when my husband and I began dating and through our early twenties. Not everyone has the camping streak in them but with us, we loved it. And we still do.

Him and I would camp in tents and sometimes in his Dads little beat up Van. One of our favorite places to camp is at a place called ‘Eagle Creek’ in Arizona. It’s like a hole in the wall, only a few know of this hidden oasis. Lush trees, beautiful rivers. No RVS, no bathrooms, no service, it’s strait camping over there. Incredibly peaceful and serene and just so much fun every time. My husband has been camping there since he was a kid and I feel so incredibly special that he shared this special place with me and now we share it with our children.

However we have amped our camping lifestyle since then. I guess we are kinda like “glampers” now. We have an RV that we love and it’s much easier to camp RV style when you have kids. We enjoy the luxury and comfort that comes with this home on wheels. It really has become a second home.

With the camper we camp at the lake, the beaches in Mexico, the sand dunes, and sometimes just in the Mountains behind our home.

So yes, I’ve been camping. And I love it.

RV Camping Mexico. Beach Front.
RV Camping At The Dunes
Eagle Creek
Lol younger days when we slept in tents

You Are A Sacred Gift

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There’s a book I just began reading called, “A Child Of The Native Race.” A story of woman who was born to an Indian family but taken away at 18 months old and raised by a white family. It’s a story of returning to her roots.

In her dedication the author Sandy White Hawk says this,

“

Even if we came into this world in the worst of circumstances.

We are not that circumstance; we were sacred when we were born

separate from the hardship that surrounded us.

Our life is good and has a purpose.”

“

This quote above really resonated with me in such a way. I don’t know that I can fully put into words.

It resonated with me because of my own adoption story and discovering my roots and finding my biological family. And it resonated because of my daughter, and her adoption story.

And currently, we are fostering my nephew, who we plan on adopting.

It is sad? The circumstance? In a way, yes, yes it is. And that should be acknowledged. But it is also a gift as well in it’s own way. And the gift may not be recognized until many years later (I can testify to that). This quote above affirms what I already know. That each of us are sacred, no matter how we entered this world. No matter the circumstance in which we are born into.

When we enter into this world we couldn’t be anymore pure. Each of us, first born, are so full of life, curiousity, adventure. It is the world, the pressures, the fears, the power and greed that work to steal us away from who we are. We become confused, afraid, and we feed ourselves lies.

Listen to me….

We are sacred gifts. We are miracles. We are love. You must never forget that. Never forget how significant you are. Never doubt your capabilities. You are chosen. That is the truth.

Forgive others. Forgive yourself.

Many of us DO enter this world through challenging circumstances. But how we come into this place does not define who we are. We are still chosen to be here, despite the troubles that may surround us. And we will find our way.

Lean not on your own understanding.

Live your days recognizing the gifts that surround you. Remind others that they are treasure. Help others to see how remarkable they are. We are never alone on our journey.

Discussing and sharing is healing and it’s connecting.

Lots of love always.

– m.g.