Women, You Need To Be Checking Your Breasts For Lumps At Least Once A Month. Best Time Is After Your Period.

In the United States for every 8 women, 1 will be diagnosed with breast cancer.

This statistic is very alarming. Being a woman and having daughters pushes me to bring more awareness to this and to encourage the females in my life to ensure they are checking themselves regularly for anything abnormal.

I discovered a lump in my underarm almost a year ago. I was referred to woman’s imaging twice and I even requested to see a specialist because I still felt unsure.

Long story short, they have come to a recent conclusion that it’s a benign lymph node. I will continue to monitor it and am doing what I believe I need to do. I am still very hopeful that it will resolve on it’s on.

But in the meantime I feel a very strong obligation to share this and to encourage women to be checking themselves. Having this lump has led me to lots of googling, believe me. But when I go through something I try to ask myself, “what is this teaching me and how can I apply this to my life?” It’s all been a life lesson.

Hence, why I am writing this blog.

Maybe some female (friend or stranger) will read this and just her reading this saved her life! I mean, who knows! But if anything I just want encourage you, my friends, to take care of yourselves as best you can.

I know cancer is not something we want to believe that can happen to us but the truth is, it can. If not you, possibly someone you love dearly. And with a 1 in 8 statistic we should be even more proactive with this, as well as, providing more awareness to the women in our lives to check themselves.

I am not a health expert. But here are the answers that I can provide to you with my experience.

When to check your breasts?

At least once a month. Best time to check for any abnormalities is right after your period, this is what a breast specialist told me. What may help is setting a monthly reminder in your phone to prevent you from forgetting.

How to self exam your breasts?

Lay down on your back and lift one arm reaching far above your head. Use your opposite hand and begin pressing 4 fingers all around your breast, armpit, and collarbone. Repeat on the other side.

You’re feeling for any lumps (some women have natural lumpy breast tissue which is why it is good to become familiar with the way your breasts feel) you’re also checking for any discharge from your nipples.

Note: if anything AT ALL seems unfamiliar it’s best to just let your doctor know.

I feel a lump, now what?

First of all, don’t panic. Lumps do not always indicate cancer. They can be cysts or even a benign lymph node if located in the underarm. And given time they may go away on their own.

Either way I encourage you to call your doctor right away and to schedule an appointment to have it further check out.

My doctor referred me to have an ultra sound, what does that mean?

Most of the time it means they really aren’t sure what the lump is. And lumps in the breast is also not something they mess around with. So they refer you to have it checked out on a different level. I personably feel it’s better to be referred somewhere then to just be dismissed and told “it feels normal”.

Don’t panic once again if your doctor is referring you. I know this can be scary, trust me. But if it is something that is concerning you want it caught as soon as possible.

If you still aren’t satisfied, ask to be referred to a breast specialist.

All I’m going to say is, your peace of mind is worth it. Just trust your intuition and I encourage you have a health advocate if you’re uncomfortable being your own.

A breast specialist will check your breasts, will feel the lump, will ask if you’re experiencing any pain, ask if the lump has grown, and she may or may not have you come back in a few more months.

And if the breast specialist doesn’t suggest you come back and the lump is still present over time, I would definitely have it checked out again. Don’t just dismiss it because the doctor says it doesn’t appear abnormal. If it’s abnormal for YOU, stay on top of it.

When it comes to your health become comfortable being uncomfortable.

Don’t be embarrassed or uncomfortable with your questions, or requesting a second opinion or additional follow ups, or bringing it up to family or friends, etc. Having peace of mind is always worth it even when it feels like a lot.

I know this kind of stuff isn’t fun to discuss believe me. It’s scary and terrifying but we are all in this together.

With all this being said, check yourself and ask the women in your life, “how often are you checking yourself.”

You might save their life.

When To Have Your Second Baby – The Best Age Gap

 

children sitting near a cactus plant
Photo by Natasha Babenko on Pexels.com

If you’re reading this, you’re probably ready for another baby. How exciting!

Well, actually is anyone really “ready”?

I should say, you’re ready to just take the leap! OR maybe you’re wondering when to have another baby. This blog will provide some insight on what I think is the perfect age gap for having another baby.


When I had my first baby my husband was already ready for another baby when she was 6 months old. Are you kidding me!? I definitely wasn’t. I felt like I was still adjusting and wasn’t ready to take on another baby when I currently had one. Plus, I was a little traumatized by my first birthing experience. Again, I just wasn’t ready.


Well, life throws you curve balls as we all know. We technically got a second baby when my first was 10 months old. Since they are the same age I categorize them together. They are like my little twins!

(If you’re interested in the story of how we got our second daughter you can search ‘blessing in disguise) or click below.

Noticing A Blessing In Disguise


When it comes to wanting a second baby you can’t always plan it out. Nature just takes it course and you go with it. However if you are able to somewhat plan it then plan for this age gap that I’m about to share!

The best time to start trying is when your child is a toddler, around 2 and a half. Which means when your new baby enters the world they will be about 3 years old maybe close to 4 years old.

Now of course this is my own opinion. I’m speaking through my experience and so far with having two three year olds and a newborn it’s been nothing but an amazing thing!!

Here’s why!

Why is 2-3 years the perfect age gap for a second baby?

  • Your toddler will more then likely be potty trained
  • Your toddler will love helping and enjoy the responsibility of being a big brother or big sister
  • Your child is mature enough to help you out
  • They know how to be gentle and are more resilient to obeying what you say
  • The jealousy is minimal, if anything they will be more possessive over the new baby
  • Your toddler is at an age when you can enroll him/her in preschool, which means more one on one time with your newborn
  • You’re less likely to go insane with a 2-3 year gap (#truth)

black and white childhood children cute
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Now as I mentioned preciously this perfect age gap is my own opinion and I’m speaking through my experience.

So far this age gap has been perfect! My girls help me, they all nap together, they are potty trained, they know how to play by themselves and our quiet during “quiet time”, and they are the best big sisters!!

I love watching this bond so much. It’s the perfect age gap.

I have 3 Requests Before You Meet My Newborn

Having a newborn is a very joyful, exciting, and can be extremely overwhelming and stressful experience. Especially if this is your first baby.

With figuring out breastfeeding, motherhood paranoia, a body that is still healing from birth, sleep deprivation…..it’s a lot to process in the beginning. Not to mention your hormones are now adjusting to this change that just happened. It’s exhausting.

And everyone adapts differently. Everyone. Don’t compare your yourself to anyone else.

Once you have your newborn, it’s like flys to a light. Everyone wants to come visit you and meet your new little bundle.

First of all, if you’re a new mom, don’t feel obligated to tell everyone yes to meeting your baby right away. This is a precious time and again, you’re also healing. They can wait.

With my first I didn’t allow anyone to see me or meet my baby in the hospital. Everyone is different I know, but personally I didn’t want to see anyone. Not even my family. And once we got home, everyone wanted to come visit….and for the most part I let them.

But in my head I was thinking I just had major surgery, I’m bleeding right now, I’m in pain, I’m so tired…….why are you here? Let me be for a little bit and give me a moment to bond with my baby. But did I say any of that…..of course not.

When you have your baby believe it or not you become extremely possessive and mama bear kicks in high gear. You let people hold your baby but in your head you’re shouting; give her back! Don’t hold her like that! Okay, she wants her mom now….

With a new baby, have people visit when YOU are ready.

Remember this is YOUR baby. It’s OK to have a few requests with people meeting your baby for the first time. Know that much.

SO with that being said, I’d like to share my own requests:

  1. If You’re Sick, Please Stay Away

You’d think this would be a no brainer but it’s surprisingly not! Well, truth be told I think deep down people know they shouldn’t be getting close to a new baby when they are sick but unfortunately it happens. And it happens often sadly enough.

Listen, I know you may be anxious to see those cute little cheeks and baby lips. But if you are sick, feel like you are getting sick, or literally just got over something please STAY AWAY.

Please wait till you are better. This is a newborn, my newborn, and I don’t want any harm to my baby.

2. DO NOT Kiss MY Baby 

Please do not kiss my baby, ESPECIALLY, on the lips. This is my baby and I do not feel comfortable with you kissing my baby.

Now, you may offend people with this request, if you choose to tell people the same thing. Shocking I know, but unfortunately true. The people you will offend are the family members. But listen, they need to respect your wishes. If you see them kissing your baby, do not hesitate to step in and say something if you are not comfortable with it. Also, don’t feel the need to explain your reasoning.

As I mentioned previously, I am not comfortable with it. That is all I need to say.

3. Make Sure Your Hands Are Clean

Please, if you’re going to hold my baby, wash your hands before you hold her. More then likely you’re going to be admiring how adorable her little feet and hands are which will you lead you to touching them….

But what you don’t know is she sucks on her hands for comfort.

Now you know why I ask that your hands are clean.


Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Those are my requests

  • If you’re sick, please stay away
  • Do not kiss my baby
  • Make sure your hands are clean

Simple, right?

Do you have any newborn requests or stories you’d like to share in relation to my requests. Please let me know!

Enjoy your newborn Mama, and don’t be afraid to put the foot down when needed. 

  

For You…Daughter – I Wish And Hope

A poem dedicated to you
(This poem is not written by The Wild Gems, all credit is given to Joan Benicken. Thank you for your beautiful poem.)

pexels-photo-1028707

‘My Hope for you, Daughter’

I can’t give you the world,

filled with all its riches.

I can’t promise you a life free from

sickness, pain, and disappointment,

for that is a gift not mine to give.

I cannot guarantee that you

will never feel your heart break.

My only hope for you is that

you fulfill the dreams deep within you.

I wish for you to know yourself

and be faithful to yourself.

For if you do,

you will be able to fully love others.

Be free to choose your course in life

without fearing a wrong decision.

Reflect on what you have been taught,

and take time to listen to your heart.

Never lose the ability to feel with open arms

all the passion and joy that life holds for you.

Give all you have

without looking for something in return.

Reach out for that which you can attain

and not for that which is impossible.

My hope for you, my daughter,

is that you will be all you can be,

for only then will you awaken

to the person you want to be.

– Joan Benicken

From the book ‘There Is So Much to Love About You…Daughter’ A Blue Mountain Arts Collection