60 Small Pieces Of Advice From A Mother To Her Daughters

To my daughters; Demi, Ella, Wrenn. I love you girls so much. I scribbled these pieces in a notebook awhile back and I decided to share these and make it accessible to others who may need a little piece of advice.

May each of you continue to notice the lights in your life, always.

  1. Pay attention to children. Study them and watch them with great intent. They will remind you how to live.
  2. Always appreciate your surroundings. Compared to another, you may be living a dream.
  3. Create friendships that will last a lifetime. Cherish that best friend you have, those kinds of friendships are like finding treasure.
  4. It’s more than okay to cry in front of others, don’t ever be embarrassed.
  5. Keep this in mind, “this to shall pass.” The bad things, and the good things. Embrace it. Enjoy it.
  6. Cut the distractions and enjoy the moment.
  7. Always respect yourself. You are so worth it, never doubt that.
  8. You are not merely words, you are poetry.
  9. Life will disappoint you sometimes, and you are never alone in that disappointment. What are you going to do about it?
  10. Falling in love is worth it.
  11. Think before you speak. Words stain like lipstick.
  12. Don’t judge others. Just don’t. Everyone has a story and everyone has value.
  13. Stick with the people who make you belly-ache laugh.
  14. Love is a choice, choose love, always.
  15. Scary moments will arise, but you can do it. Have faith in yourself, have faith in others.
  16. Help whenever you notice the opportunity, but be cautious. Please don’t pick up hitchhikers.
  17. Read. Read. Read. Gain knowledge and understanding. The world needs that.
  18. Your body is perfect. Absolutely perfect and full of magic. Believe it.
  19. Never lose sight of who you are, stay true to yourself.
  20. Love God with all of your heart. Nobody loves you the way God does.
  21. Get outside every chance you get and BREATHE. Close your eyes and just breathe.
  22. Write whenever you can. Write your ideas, your dreams, things you have learned. Share it and pass it on.
  23. Give gifts for no reason. One simple way to show another how much you value and treasure them. But the best gift is your time and attention.
  24. Mama says use your manners but also eat with your hands and burp. It’s good for you.
  25. Forgive yourself. Mistakes are going to happen. And when you begin reflecting, forgive yourself.
  26. Dream big. Not everyone gets to the dream (or maybe they do) but you know what, most of the fun is the actual dreaming.
  27. Have fun and get muddy.
  28. Listen to others. You can hear and not be listening. Listen to what someone is saying.
  29. Count your blessings, and count them often.
  30. Tell the ones you love them, ALL THE TIME.
  31. Learn about space. It’s a little terrifying, but absolutely miraculous.
  32. Grudges are not good for the soul. Let it go baby, let it go. Practice forgiveness.
  33. Cake for breakfast, why not? Sometimes you eat dessert first.
  34. Be highly conscious what you are feeding your body and your soul. But make exceptions. Some day are for movies and pure comfort food.
  35. No one is a mind reader. Steer from making assumptions and learn to talk it out.
  36. Practice independence. It will benefit you.
  37. You could be a billionaire or millionaire and still be unhappy. “The best things in life cannot be seen or touched but only felt with the heart.” Helen Keller.
  38. Swallow your pride and say sorry when you need to.
  39. You make an impact every single day. Even the days you don’t get out of bed.
  40. Explore. Travel. NOTICE the world. There is so much beauty even in your front yard.
  41. Cherish time, because you don’t get it back. But then again, you kind of do, just in a different way. A smell can make you time travel.
  42. Be yourself, always. Because there is nobody who will ever be you. So embrace who you are, you beautiful creature!
  43. Embrace your path. Comparing will only make you lose focus. You have your own purposes in this life.
  44. Practice calmness verse becoming angry. Breathe in, breathe out. I know its hard, I know. But you are stronger than you believe.
  45. Be a hostess, and host often. And it’s okay to go to bed and clean up the next day. Pay attention to who helps though and offers to clean up.
  46. “I hope you dance.” by Faith Hill. Listen to that song and when you become a mom one day you’ll really understand it. I love you.
  47. Don’t go looking for trouble, but get in a little trouble. It’s fun. Some trouble is worth it.
  48. Pray everyday.
  49. Let your voice be heard. You have so much to say and so much to share. You will inspire and change the world. You’ve completely changed mine.
  50. Don’t surrender to peer pressure. If you are ever in a situation where you are feeling pressured, get out. That’s a red flag.
  51. Fight back what you are passionate about. You’ve always had the fire. Don’t let anyone dim your light.
  52. Don’t believe everything you hear. Ask questions or just smile. Take it with a grain of salt. And don’t things too personally. How a person treats you is a reflection on how they treat themselves. Show compassion.
  53. Don’t ignore your intuition. But if you do, learn from it.
  54. If you don’t want anyone to find out, there’s a good chance you shouldn’t be doing it.
  55. Don’t be afraid to come across as foolish. Ask the questions, be the first, remain curious, try new things, and laugh at yourself.
  56. Walk in light, be a light for others, and help others shine.
  57. Be patient with yourself. A tree doesn’t grow that tall and give that much shade over night.
  58. Go through your things often, and donate whatever you can. You can survive with less than you may believe.
  59. Love life. Love it all. The bad and good. I mentioned this in number 14. Choose love over fear.
  60. Never forget how much your parents really do love you. You are what gave them life.

I love you.

7 Tips For Taking Your Newborn On A Beachy Getaway

 

This past weekend was Labor Day weekend and we went to Puerto Peñasco Mexico with our two toddlers and our 5 week old baby. Are we a little crazy, maybe some would say…. but we made some amazing memories!

We had an absolute blast, and I am so happy we went!

To be completely honest I was very hesitant about taking our newborn on a trip so soon. If my husband would have changed his mind I would have been completely okay with it.

However we had been planning this trip and we had people that were coming and meeting us there. So we really did want to go!

Me being the worry wart that I am, I actually called her pediatrician asking for precautions to take when traveling with a baby and safety measures at the beach. Well, they told me they don’t recommend doing anything like that until they are two months and have had their shots. Not really what I wanted to hear, but I kind of expected it.

When I told my husband what their pediatrician said his reply was, “babies are born in Mexico all the time.” Uhh ok.

This just goes to show who’s the more cautious parent in this relationship.

Well we ended up going, obviously.

We traveled to Mexico in our RV and from where we live it’s only about a 3 to 4 hour drive. So it’s really not too bad.

(What’s great about a newborn is they sleep so much! Our daughter pretty much slept this whole trip! Saturday to Sunday. She is a dream, and did better then expected. )

I am going to share some tips that worked for me and hopefully they work for you too IF you do decide to take a mini trip somewhere with a beach and your precious newborn.



7 Tips For Taking Your Newborn On A Beachy Getaway

1. Take Help With You

My mom went along on this trip and I can’t imagine how the trip would have been had she not come! She was so helpful! I was able to spend uninterrupted quality time with my other two daughters and enjoy the ocean with them. When my newborn was nursing or keeping me busy she would be with my other two daughters catering to their needs. My husband and I weren’t stressed at all because of the help! His dad and friend were there too and when they say it takes a village, they aren’t lying! Whoever they are!

You will enjoy your trip so much more if you have helping hands.

2. A Hand Held Misting Fan Is A NECESSITY

The times we were sitting on the beach under the umbrella I always had a misting fan at reach. It was a fantastic, and a very convenient way to stay cool for my baby and myself since we didn’t really get in the water. It was super humid so this is so helpful.

Do not forget a misting fan!

3. Co-sleep With A Pack N’ Play Mat

With being in an RV, I really didn’t want to pack the whole pack n’ play because you know how big they are and there wouldn’t really be any space in the RV for it. If you’re staying in a resort I would just bring the whole thing probably, but for us the mat was good enough.

I slept in the back with our baby with just the pack n’ play mat on the bed. I felt safe because she wasn’t sleeping on the soft mattress (it’s not advised to let your newborn sleep on a soft mattress due to SIDS) and I felt it was secure enough where I knew I wouldn’t roll on her. The bed was a queen bed and between two closets. It was the perfect way to co sleep and nurse her at night.

4. Keep Your Baby Covered When In The Sun

Newborns can’t wear sunblock so you really what to limit as much sun exposure as possible. A little sun isn’t going to hurt, but you really don’t want them exposed to direct sunlight for more then a few minutes.

When I would walk from the RV to the beach I always had a blanket over her, like a small receiving blanket. And when we were outside we were always in the shade.

5. Know Where The Local Hospitals Are

This is safety precaution to take for your peace of mind. IF, something did happen you want to know where the local hospitals are. You are taking your newborn so it’s best to be as safe as possible when traveling with a newborn.

6. Trust your Instincts And Know Your Limits

If you feel baby is getting too hot go inside. If you feel that would be too much for the baby then don’t do it. If you don’t want to take your baby there, then don’t go. (When I say there, I mean like a restaurant, shops, wherever) Don’t feel pressured. Trust that you know what is best for your baby.

7. Take Pictures And Just Have Fun!

Do your best to just enjoy yourself! Don’t let your worries consume you! You’re an amazing mama and you know your baby! So, again, trust YOURSELF and make memories!

(I only took her out to beach in the mornings and in the late afternoons. It wasn’t too hot during those times and the rays aren’t as strong.)

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When To Have Your Second Baby – The Best Age Gap

 

children sitting near a cactus plant
Photo by Natasha Babenko on Pexels.com

If you’re reading this, you’re probably ready for another baby. How exciting!

Well, actually is anyone really “ready”?

I should say, you’re ready to just take the leap! OR maybe you’re wondering when to have another baby. This blog will provide some insight on what I think is the perfect age gap for having another baby.


When I had my first baby my husband was already ready for another baby when she was 6 months old. Are you kidding me!? I definitely wasn’t. I felt like I was still adjusting and wasn’t ready to take on another baby when I currently had one. Plus, I was a little traumatized by my first birthing experience. Again, I just wasn’t ready.


Well, life throws you curve balls as we all know. We technically got a second baby when my first was 10 months old. Since they are the same age I categorize them together. They are like my little twins!

(If you’re interested in the story of how we got our second daughter you can search ‘blessing in disguise) or click below.

Noticing A Blessing In Disguise


When it comes to wanting a second baby you can’t always plan it out. Nature just takes it course and you go with it. However if you are able to somewhat plan it then plan for this age gap that I’m about to share!

The best time to start trying is when your child is a toddler, around 2 and a half. Which means when your new baby enters the world they will be about 3 years old maybe close to 4 years old.

Now of course this is my own opinion. I’m speaking through my experience and so far with having two three year olds and a newborn it’s been nothing but an amazing thing!!

Here’s why!

Why is 2-3 years the perfect age gap for a second baby?

  • Your toddler will more then likely be potty trained
  • Your toddler will love helping and enjoy the responsibility of being a big brother or big sister
  • Your child is mature enough to help you out
  • They know how to be gentle and are more resilient to obeying what you say
  • The jealousy is minimal, if anything they will be more possessive over the new baby
  • Your toddler is at an age when you can enroll him/her in preschool, which means more one on one time with your newborn
  • You’re less likely to go insane with a 2-3 year gap (#truth)

black and white childhood children cute
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Now as I mentioned preciously this perfect age gap is my own opinion and I’m speaking through my experience.

So far this age gap has been perfect! My girls help me, they all nap together, they are potty trained, they know how to play by themselves and our quiet during “quiet time”, and they are the best big sisters!!

I love watching this bond so much. It’s the perfect age gap.

A Guide To Mentally Preparing Yourself For A C-Section – You Got This Mama

Whether you have been scheduled a c-section or you’re anticipating one, it can be a little overwhelming.

Especially if you’ve had already one and it wasn’t a good experience. Could have been an emergency one or something different. Whatever the case, it may have left you on edge a bit.

Thinking of labor and delivery may be the last thing you want to do because you’re probably scared to relive it or you’re afraid of the unknown of going through it.

Which btw is completely normal to experience these feelings and anxiety before a c-section.

I know the feeling of fear leading up to a c-section. I had an emergency one with my first. My second was scheduled. I was absolutely terrified. To the point of crying pretty much anytime anyone brought it up to me.

When I found out I was pregnant I already anticipated that I would be having another c-section. The fear I had of having to go through that again stole joy from my pregnancy. It was difficult for me to enjoy because I was so fixated on what I was going to have to go through again. I was stuck on THAT experience. Assuming it would be the exact same way. (note: emergency and scheduled really are completely different.)

I want you to know that I know how you’re feeling and I really hope this blog post can help you ease your mind and go into this procedure with a strong and courageous attitude!

Below is exactly what I did and I’m so happy I took the time to mentally prepare myself. I didn’t want my baby entering the world with a stressed mama and I wanted to embrace and be brave through this experience. 

(If you have questions or concerns or just want to talk about how you’ve been feeling please don’t hesitate to contact me.)



A Guide To Mentally Preparing Yourself For A C-Section

(This was a repeat c-section for me. My first was an emergency and my second one was scheduled and what a completely different experience it was. I also healed way faster then with my first. I was still scared naturally ,however taking the time to mentally prepare myself helped me beyond measures. I truly hope what I did may help you in someway as well.)

  • Listen To Soothing Music

Music is proven to calm down anxiety. What I did was I bought “soothing music” on iTunes. (The type of music you would hear while getting a massage.) I would go to sleep with it on a night because that was often the time my fears would really set it. I listened to this type of music a week prior of my scheduled c-section. I know it helped calming my nerves.

  • Say Daily Affirmations

Affirmations are more powerful then you may believe. Saying affirmations truly helped me to overcome my fears and negative thoughts. Whenever I caught myself thinking the worst I would say or think to myself,

“I am strong and courageous. I am not afraid. I know God is with me.”

This is in reference to the scripture Joshua 1:9. I can’t even express how much power I would feel saying this often and how much peace it brought me.

  • Read Positive Uplifting C-Sections Stories (They do exist)

When people hear “c-section” they often associate it with a negative experience. People will often give you a cringe type of look when you tell them you have a scheduled C-section or that you’ve had a C-section.

I want you to know there are some great, uplifting, positive stories out there. You just have to search them. These stories can provide some type of relief that your experience can be just as wonderful and positive as theirs.

  • Express Your Concerns And Fears To Your Doctor

This is very important. My hope is that you trust and are very comfortable with your Doctor. Let her or him know how you have been feeling. They will do their absolute best to calm you and make this a very pleasant experience for you.

When I had my c-section I requested to have oxygen to keep me calm. I didn’t even end up using it because I was able to calm myself down mentally. I was so proud myself. My doctors and nurses were also extremely amazing and made me feel so safe and comfortable. I cannot thank them enough for going above and beyond for me.

  • Talk About It

When I was able to talk about my delivery without crying I knew I was making progress. The more you actually talk about the procedure and recovery the more comfortable and confident you will be going in.

  • Make A Mental Check List

I read a blog titled ‘What To Expect When Having A C-Section By An L&D Nurse’. Her blog literally walked me through exactly what I went through.

It helps knowing what to expect so you aren’t caught off guard by anything. So when we left in the morning I started checking off things in my head, I was somewhat a step ahead or already knew what the next step would be. I felt more in control of the situation.

(This is a glimpse of what I was checking off in my head. I made a checklist on my notes app.)

  • Try To Have Your Procedure Scheduled In The Morning

The sooner the better. Statistically less complications happen in surgeries scheduled in the morning. This will provide a little peace of mind for you if you can be scheduled in the morning.

Also the Doctors and Nurses are just starting their day. They are alert and hopefully well rested to care for you as their first patient.

  • Pray (Ask For Prayers)/Meditate

Pray, pray, pray. I am a believer in prayers and I know God hears them. This is where your faith and trust is truly strengthened.

And it is OKAY to ask for prayers. It’s more then okay.

  • Distract Yourself

When you feel your mind being directed back to your fears DISTRACT YOURSELF. Worrying truly isn’t going to do anything but steal joy from enjoying your days and nights.

What I did was play and entertain my other two daughters, read, and wrote blogs. It kept me busy and mind off other stuff.

  • Trust And Think About Meeting Your Baby

Put all your focus on meeting your little miracle. Express your gratitude and try your best to just enjoy the moment and all the little details. You will be so happy you did.

It will all be worth it Mama. Before you know you will be holding your sweet baby. You got this.


I know you can do this. I am praying for you and I wish you a happy and healthy delivery. As well as a super fast recovery.

The Only 10 Things You Need To Pack For Your Scheduled C-Section

This may be your first baby or it might be your second pregnancy like mine. Whatever your situation may be, you have been scheduled a C-section.

I had my first baby 3 years ago and that little munchkin did not want to come out. I don’t blame her though. My belly had been her home for months and now we were trying to force her out. Long story short my first labor and delivery resulted in an emergency C-section.

If you aren’t prepared to have a C-section, it can be a very overwhelming experience. Some of you can relate I’m sure. However, I have made a list of things not to forget to bring with you to the hospital so your experience can be more of a positive one and to make it as comfortable as possible.

Often times when we feel overwhelmed or stressed it’s because we feel out of control in our situation. With having a scheduled C-section you already have more control then other Mothers going into delivery. For the most part you have an idea of the process and what the recovery will be like.

(My advice if this is your first C-section; read positive uplifting C-section stories, express your concerns to your doctor, and trust.)

This list will help you be more prepared and will be a great outline to customizing your own hospital bag.


  1. BOOKS/MAGAZINES/MOVIES/IPOD

Bringing books or movies will help you to stay entertained while you are waiting. Before the surgery and for after. If books or movies aren’t your thing, I would suggest packing whatever it is that soothes you and will help the time pass.

I bought some soothing music on iTunes nights prior to my surgery to calm my nerves. It helped tremendously.

2. A ROBE/NIGHTGOWN/COMFORTABLE PAJAMAS

I am all about being comfortable. While you can stay in your hospital gown the whole time (exactly what I wore the whole time for my first) this time around you may want to feel a little bit more like yourself and in something that is yours.

You will be in the hospital for about 2-4 days, depending on your situation. In that period of time you will want to wear clothing that is not to body hugging or tight. The looser, the better.

This time around I ordered a loose, breastfeeding nightgown from amazon. A robe is great as well because it allows you to be completely covered when necessary but also extremely easy to uncover when needed.

3. BOPPY PILLOW

With my first C-section the pain totally caught me off guard and I was having the most difficult time figuring out breastfeeding. I couldn’t get into any comfortable positions and I became so frustrated. Arriving home from the hospital I began to use my boppy pillow that I received as a gift from my baby shower, which became my breastfeeding lifesaver.

Using it at home, I wished I had brought it with me to the hospital. Bringing the pillow this time will make nursing my baby so much easier and more accommodating for the both of us while we are in the hospital.

(When getting comfortable with breastfeeding I don’t know but newborns love the ‘football position’. The boppy pillow makes it very easy to be comfortable for you and baby.)

4. COMFORTABLE FOOTWEAR

Don’t forget your slippers/crocs/or whatever your favorite comfortable shoes are. It’s encouraged to walk for a faster recovery after having a C-Section.

If this is your first C-Section, it will be difficult at first. I am positive my recovery could have been better if I had got moving but I just laid in bed. And when I did start moving my calves became very sore which scared me, and then that lead me to the emergency room because of googling.

Don’t just lay in bed. Take your pain meds, wear your belly band (the hospital should provide one) put on your slippers and walk as much as you can Mama. Your nurses will be encouraging you!

5. SNACKS

After your baby’s arrival you’re going to be tired and hungry. Especially because you were just required to fast before your surgery.

Although you’ll be hungry you may not be able to eat due the aftermath of the anesthesia. It made me extremely nauseous so I actually didn’t eat till the following day after my surgery.

However once you do regain your strength you will be very hungry and having some assessable snacks will provide convenience to you and whoever else is with you.

6. YOUR OWN PILLOW/BLANKET

With my first labor and delivery I didn’t anticipate staying in the hospital as long as I did. Looking back it would have been nice to have my own pillow and blanket. A little piece of home to make the nights and stay that much better and soothing.

7. UNDERWEAR

Just because you’re having a C-section doesn’t mean you are not going to bleed. Often times we forget about the fun stuff that comes with recovery after birth.

Pack underwear that you don’t mind if it gets ruined, because more then likely it will. in a nutshell, you’re going to want underwear that can support giant maxi-pads.

(The hospital will more then likely supply all your pads and underwear needs so have peace of mind that even if you forget or don’t include this in your hospital bag your hospital has got you covered girl!)

8. CAMERA/CHARGER

Double check you brought both. You are going to want to capture so many moments! These are the pictures you’ll be looking back on and wanting to cry about every time. Especially as they get older and older.

The hospital stay goes by so fast and before you know it you are at home. Take it all in and capture all the details!

9. TOILETRIES

Keep it simple. More then likely you’ll have at least one shower in the hospital, so I would recommend bringing your own towel as well.

Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash, brush, lip balm. Keep it to a minimal. You just had a surgery!

( Your hospital will more then likely provide all of this! So don’t stress if you forgot something!)

10. GOING HOME OUTFITS FOR YOU AND BABY

What a relief it is when they tell you that you can all go home.

I would suggest a loose dress for yourself. Again, you don’t want to wear anything that’s going to be rubbing against your incision.

That’s it!! Keep your hospital bag simple and don’t overpack.


Oh my goodness who else can’t wait to hold their newborn!

person covering infant with swaddling blanket

Photo by Isaac Taylor on Pexels.com

What are the things you are packing in your hospital bag that you don’t want to forget? I’d love to hear your thoughts or experience’s with your scheduled C-section.

Wishing you all a healthy, smooth, amazing, labor and delivery. A moment to cherish forever, that also goes by way too fast.

 

 

 

Yummy Avocado Smoothie – Nutritious And Creamy

Who doesn’t love avocados! (Yes, I know guac is extra)

They are a super food and delicious! Loaded with vitamins and considered a “healthy fat”.

Typically when I eat an avocado I just scoop it out, slice it up, and put some salt on it. Good enough for me!

The thought of adding an avocado to a smoothie was intriguing but I never thought to try it until now!

Well, let’s just say it was super TASTY and even my kids loved it. That says a lot since they are picky.

Try it and let me know how you like it! The perfect breakfast on the go or afternoon pick me up!

Yummy Avocado Smoothie – Nutritious And Creamy

Servings: 1 to 2 smoothies

What You Need

  • One whole small ripe avocado
  • One whole banana- preferably with a few brown spots
  • 3/4 cup Coconut milk
  • 1 tablespoon of honey
  • 1/2 cup crushed ice
  • Chia seeds (optional)

Steps:

Combine all ingredients and blend in blender until creamy.

(1-2 tsp of chia seeds can be blended in or you can sprinkle on the top once you pour the drink into a cup- as seen in the picture above or below)

enjoy!!!

Quiet Activities To Do With Your Spouse Once The Kids Fall Asleep

What do you and your spouse do once the kids fall asleep?

Do you both get on your phones, or attend to solo activities that don’t involve each other? Be honest!

First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong if you do those things. My husband and I spend many evenings like that. We each have our own things we want to do or catch up on.

However we both know that when the kids are down for the night that it’s also an opportunity to spend some time together. Might not be able to go on an actual date but we can definitely do an activity with one another.

I have a list of activities below that you and your spouse can do once the kids fall asleep. They are fairly quiet activities so both of you won’t have to worry about waking up your kids. 


Quiet Activities To Do With Your Spouse Once The Kids Fall Asleep

1. Do A Puzzle Together

Honestly, when is the last time you’ve even done a puzzle? This is a great quiet activity with many benefits for the both of you. Lowers stress levels, delays dementia, improves your memory, and that’s just a few! There are so many “puzzle levels” out there, so have fun picking one out together and accomplishing it together.

2. Watch A Movie Or A Documentary

Netflix, amazon prime, red-box. Movies are so accessible these days. And there are a lot of great ones out there! A great opportunity to snuggle with your honey like old times. While cuddling you two will be increasing your oxytocin levels, which, makes you both feel calm and at ease. I knew I loved cuddling for a reason. 

4. Give Each Other Massages

Light some candles and bring out the essentials oils. Another great stress reliever. We could all use less stress right?

Go full body. If you’ve never had your butt massaged you’re missing out my friend.

5. Do Self Portraits of One Another

We’ve all seen Titanic right? Where Jack does a self portrait of Rose and she’s naked. I’m not saying you need to be naked but definitely have fun with this one. Make it a competition and have your friends pick the best one!

warning: you both may begin to laugh uncontrollably. 

6. Read Together

Whether it be magazines or a novel this is a great time to stimulate your brain and then have an open discussion about what you’re reading.

7. Give Each Other A Foot Rub

Currently getting a foot rub now as I write this haha. Have I mentioned how much I love my husband.

This is such a great thing to do for one another. It’s relaxing, feels good, and gets the blood flowing!

8. Go Outside And Stargaze

This obviously depends on the weather. But if the weather is nice pull out the lawn chairs and just enjoy the stars. Let the deep convos begin. What is life?

9. Cook Or Bake Something Together

The possibilities are endless! Don’t make it too complicated of course. You could make cookies, prepare some overnight French toast for breakfast (yummm), get messy with rice krispy treats, make some French bread pizzas, etc!

10. Slow dance

I’m such a sucker for the lovey dovey stuff. Turn the music on low, dim the lights, and just dance. Something so simple yet so intimate. Dance to your wedding song and get lost in the moment.

Have you heard the song Heaven by Kane Brown? Oh my goodness, you’ll cry.

11. Do Yoga Together

Yoga is a great way to wind down and enter a relaxing state of mind. You two can get even more creative with couple yoga poses. If you two end up laughing hysterically because these couple poses are winning, I say embrace it.

12. Do Facials Together

Try a DIY facial or get some sheet masks from the store. Definitely take a picture. Who doesn’t love a refreshing face to kiss later!

13. Play Cards Or A Board Game Together, Like Scrabble

Bring on the nostalgia. Let the inner child be exposed and start reminiscing with one another. A great time to learn even more about each other and how you want to raise your children.

14. Make Ice Cream Sundaes Together

Go all out and do full on ice cream Sundaes! I’m talking hot fudge, nuts, cherries on top, whip cream, the works! Or make up your own type of Sundae together! This is teamwork if you ask me.

Or, just have ice cream cones like this couple pictured above, they look like they are having fun.

15. Plan A Vacation

Make some coffee or tea and take a moment to dream together. Plan a trip and write down some goals you two would like to accomplish. You two are more likely to accomplish those goals when you write them down. Once you’re done writing your goals place them in an area where you two can see them often.

16. Take A Bubble Bath Together

Dim the lights, light some candles for a very relaxing and intimate time. Pop open a bottle of bubbly or open a bottle of wine. Relax.

Remember the scene in Pretty Woman? You two can recreate that. If this leads to something else, don’t look at me!

17. Have A Staring Contest

Believe it or not looking into each other’s eyes is a very intimate thing. Fall in love with each other all over again with this fun activity.

Tell each other why you love one another. Sounds cheesy, but you’ll never forget the sweet things he ends up telling you.


There ya have it! A few quiet activities you can enjoy with your spouse once the kiddos are sleeping tight!

Any quiet activities you would like to share? I’d love to hear it!

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you can have fun and become closer to your spouse with a few of these!

Learning To Control Your Anger With Your Toddler – 5 Ways To Gain More Control

 

There are a couple of things that trigger us as parents.

(some may agree, some may disagree)

Here are a few.

  • The tantrum that just WILL NOT stop
  • The constant nagging for something
  • Your child not listening
  • The picking on/fighting with another child or sibling
  • Almost everything they do or don’t do when you’re already in a bad mood
  • When your child does something they already KNOW they shouldn’t have done
  • [insert your trigger here]

I have two 3 year old’s. While I absolutely love that they can entertain each other, I also feel like I am constantly tested by their behaviors.

They feed off one another in the good and the bad ways.

If you have a toddler you know how much fun and entertaining they are, but, you also know how demanding and aggravating they can be. Am I right?

I had no idea that having toddlers would show me how little in control I was of my emotions, especially my anger.

I had moments where I would be screaming at them, crying, and honestly, I was throwing my own tantrums looking back now. I feel completely embarrassed.

I hated the feelings that took over after though, after anger set in. The guilt especially haunted me. I felt like a monster. I would lay in bed hating myself. I couldn’t even believe I let myself behave like that. I would think to myself…

What was wrong with me? Do other mothers lose their temper? What kind of impact would this leave on my children if I let this behavior continue?

Again, I would ask myself was what wrong with me. My lack of control really confused and startled me.

What I knew was, I needed to change. I needed to figure out the root cause of my anger episodes at my children. They did not deserve this. They are toddlers, they don’t know any better, they are currently in the stage of learning how to handle their own emotions and place in this world.

I read two statements that came from articles or blogs that really helped me to gain perspective. I really wish I could provide the sources but it was so long ago I have no idea the titles of blogs or articles I stumbled across. I found the reads through googling, and these particular words resonated with me. These aren’t the exact words below, but it is what I can recall.

1. Imagine your spouse talking to you the way you talk to your children.

2. Often times, we lose our temper with our children because they release unresolved childhood trauma. 

Whoa, I thought when I read these statements. I would be absolutely crushed if my husband talked to me the way I was talking to my toddlers. That was a very, very, eye widening statement. Especially because I am super sensitive.

As for the second statement, I really had to search into my own childhood and figure out what was it that was holding me back. What was I subconsciously holding against them.

Getting angry and yelling at your toddlers is more common then you think.

You are not alone Mama.

Other moms face this same issue daily. I know this because I see it often in mommy groups on social media. They share the battles or demons that have taken over them. It’s a true struggle that is very powerful.

However, the good news is when you take the time to address your actions, figure out ways to progress, I can almost promise that you will feel so much better about your parenting. You will feel it and so will your children.

Remember progress is progress.

Looking at my behavior before to what it is now………I have definitely gained more self control and I am more aware of the effects of my behavior.

I am also more cautious and aware that my toddlers are learning how to react through situations by watching me. Especially me because I am around them the most. If I am going to continue to yell and lose myself in front of my children, then they will react the same way. This is my opportunity to grow into a better Mother and help them to handle their own stressful situations.

(Note: The only person you can control is you. You can’t control the others that spend time around your child or children. However you are their Mother. They look up to YOU and trust YOU the most.)

Below I would like to share with you 5 ways I have gained more control over my anger with my toddlers.

Anger moments will still happen. You’re human, you may slip once in a while. But be proud of every baby step that moves you forward toward being the Mother you wish to be

Learning To Control Your Anger With Your Toddler – 5 Ways To Gain More Control

  1. Read. Read. Read.

There are so many great articles, books, other blogs out there that discuss the impacts our behaviors have on our children. When you become more aware of what you are doing, you become determined to find some type of solution to an issue you may be facing. It creates a type of awareness to help you understand and hopefully be more empathetic with your child.

Reading these types of things are great because they provide a completely different type of view that you can learn and grow from. Whether you chose to apply what you read to your parenting is entirely up to you.

2. Breathe. Take 3 Long Breaths.

Before you react, take a quick moment to breathe and maybe even count to ten. During that time of breathe in breathe out you will find the appropriate way to react. A quick reaction to something that your toddler is doing or does can scare them and then it makes the situation worse then what it even needed to be.

I was seriously a yeller. I absolutely hated that I yelled so much. So now when I want to yell I just breathe first and talk to them in a calm manner. I may blankly stare at them for a bit but it’s way better then me yelling at them.

Instead of yelling try developing a different tone of voice when upset. Where when they hear that tone, they know Mama means business.

3. Remain Mindful.

Remain mindful when you’re children are near you. They are watching you, they are learning from you, they will mimic you. Children are like little sponges. It’s hard to get upset at them when they are just acting, like YOU.

If you train your mind to always be mindful when you feel the anger coming you will gain more control of how you react to certain incidents and situations. Think about their future, how do you want them to behave and act as they grow and mature. Be the person you want them to be.

4. Walk Away Or Ignore

There are going to be times where you are really tested and you’re going to have to walk away. Sometimes that really is best. For you, and for them.

Eventually, maybe, you won’t have to walk away.

Let this be a bridge to getting exactly where you want to be. But in the meantime it is OK to put them in their room and walk away. This will allow you to calm down, and them if they are behaving in a bad manner.

After everyone has calmed down go talk to your child. Explain why you had to walk away and why it’s difficult for you to be around your child when they act like that. Baby steps.

5. A Daily Devotional

A devotional book has helped me tremendously on controlling my anger. It allows me to appreciate all situations and to be grateful.

When I can appreciate what I am struggling with or going through my attitude and mindset is different. A daily devotional explores a different perspective and gets you thinking in a way that you don’t normally think. And with God’s help you are sure to conquer this obstacle you are currently facing and other obstacles that will appear later in this Motherly journey.

I think we can agree that despite the hard moments, there is nothing more joyful then being a Mother. What an amazing privilege. 

mother and daughter on grass

Photo by Daria Obymaha on Pexels.com

 

Have you lost your temper with your toddler? You are not alone. Please comment any questions or concerns. Or please share what has helped you gained more control with your anger.

 As always, thank you for reading.

 

When Your Kids Are Distracting You And Your Spouse From Spending Quality Time Together

Remember how much freedom you and your spouse had before you had kids? Sleeping in together, staying out late, going wherever and whenever you wanted, you can recall I’m sure. Now your schedules are almost entirely planned around your kids. And you notice how you’re always busy now? It’s crazy right.

Having kids completely changes your lifestyle and it changes your relationship with your significant other.

You will face many challenges together with raising children. In this post I am only going to discuss one challenge and share with you what has worked for my husband and myself.

The Challenge:

Distracting you and your spouse from spending quality time together.

When you have kids, it can be a little challenging to maintain that one on one time with your spouse. With dates and intimacy.

It’s so important to keep your relationship thriving even when you have children. Let this be an opportunity to get creative and step outside your box.

My husband and I love our daughters so much. They are our world. However we do have moments where we reminisce about how spontaneous we were in the past and how completely oblivious we were to our freedom.

It’s amazing how you don’t really recognize how much freedom you have until a child enters your life.

Something we both have learned with having kids is time together has to be planned and scheduled.

Of course that’s not how it is all the time, but I would say a majority of time if we want to be alone it has to be planned in advance.

Just because you and your spouse have kids now doesn’t mean the love needs to be let go. Your relationship still needs to be a priority. And yes, it will take more work then what it did in the past.

I’m sure some of you are thinking, well I don’t have a baby sitter, or our schedules are so different, or possibly, I try but he isn’t willing, etc,

As I mentioned previously, this is an opportunity to get creative.

If you can’t get a babysitter or don’t feel comfortable leaving your children yet don’t sweat it. That was exactly how my husband and I were. We would have “at home dates” and still do! I would have our girls skip nap time so they would go to sleep early so we could spend time together, just me and him.

(As I said, we still do this. Some of the evenings of just eating ice cream together or watching something on TV take me and him back to the old days.)

When your schedules are different you need to take advantage of every moment together.

For example: You two only have mornings together. Maybe share coffee together and do a question of the day about one another. Remember, step outside the box.

(Note: Stay off your phones when you two are together. How many times have you witnessed a couple out together and they are both on their phones. Talk, listen, hold hands, BE PRESENT.)

Both of you need to be willing to try new things. If one of you is trying and one of you isn’t, there may be a deeper issue that needs to be resolved.

In that case, I might suggest help from a professional.

Discuss Your Relationship.

You two need to be on the same page and open to embracing this new chapter in your relationship. You won’t have to be so creative forever or plan every moment together forever. Your children are going to grow up.

But are you both happy right now? Have you sensed that you two are drifting apart or something just feels different. More then likely both of you aren’t getting enough attention from one another.

If these emotions have occurred this is your relationship craving some immediate attention. If you’re reading this there’s good possibility you’re in this situation.

In a nutshell I am saying, TAKE ACTION. Don’t allow your children to be the excuse anymore. 


Here Are A Few Moments To Always Take Advantage Of:

  • Bed time
  • Nap time
  • When they are on a play date or at a friends or with family
  • When they are glued to a game or YouTube
  • A Family Gathering
  • A birthday party
  • When they fall asleep in the car
  • In the morning before they wake up
  • When they head to school

…you get the idea.

These are all opportunities where you two can discuss something, plan something, do something, etc. Both kids fell asleep in the car? Go get something in the drive-thru, pull over, and enjoy it together. Kids are sleeping? uh, HELLO! Have some private time. At a gathering of some sort? There’s enough adults watching the kids, get playful. You can still be spontaneous, it will just be in a different way.

Also, it’s definitely more then OK to put other things on pause to give your spouse the attention they deserve and need.

Keep the sizzle and have fun. You’ll be laughing about these moments in the future and sharing them with your children.

A book I would highly recommend to strengthen your relationship with your spouse is titled The 5 Languages Of Love by Gary Chapman.

I definitely recommend this book even if your relationship is thriving right now! It’s an amazing eye opener and will bring you two even closer.

What works for you and your spouse, I’d love to hear it!