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Women, You Need To Be Checking Your Breasts For Lumps At Least Once A Month. Best Time Is After Your Period.

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In the United States for every 8 women, 1 will be diagnosed with breast cancer.

This statistic is very alarming. Being a woman and having daughters pushes me to bring more awareness to this and to encourage the females in my life to ensure they are checking themselves regularly for anything abnormal.

I discovered a lump in my underarm almost a year ago. I was referred to woman’s imaging twice and I even requested to see a specialist because I still felt unsure.

Long story short, they have come to a recent conclusion that it’s a benign lymph node. I will continue to monitor it and am doing what I believe I need to do. I am still very hopeful that it will resolve on it’s on.

But in the meantime I feel a very strong obligation to share this and to encourage women to be checking themselves. Having this lump has led me to lots of googling, believe me. But when I go through something I try to ask myself, “what is this teaching me and how can I apply this to my life?” It’s all been a life lesson.

Hence, why I am writing this blog.

Maybe some female (friend or stranger) will read this and just her reading this saved her life! I mean, who knows! But if anything I just want encourage you, my friends, to take care of yourselves as best you can.

I know cancer is not something we want to believe that can happen to us but the truth is, it can. If not you, possibly someone you love dearly. And with a 1 in 8 statistic we should be even more proactive with this, as well as, providing more awareness to the women in our lives to check themselves.

I am not a health expert. But here are the answers that I can provide to you with my experience.

When to check your breasts?

At least once a month. Best time to check for any abnormalities is right after your period, this is what a breast specialist told me. What may help is setting a monthly reminder in your phone to prevent you from forgetting.

How to self exam your breasts?

Lay down on your back and lift one arm reaching far above your head. Use your opposite hand and begin pressing 4 fingers all around your breast, armpit, and collarbone. Repeat on the other side.

You’re feeling for any lumps (some women have natural lumpy breast tissue which is why it is good to become familiar with the way your breasts feel) you’re also checking for any discharge from your nipples.

Note: if anything AT ALL seems unfamiliar it’s best to just let your doctor know.

I feel a lump, now what?

First of all, don’t panic. Lumps do not always indicate cancer. They can be cysts or even a benign lymph node if located in the underarm. And given time they may go away on their own.

Either way I encourage you to call your doctor right away and to schedule an appointment to have it further check out.

My doctor referred me to have an ultra sound, what does that mean?

Most of the time it means they really aren’t sure what the lump is. And lumps in the breast is also not something they mess around with. So they refer you to have it checked out on a different level. I personably feel it’s better to be referred somewhere then to just be dismissed and told “it feels normal”.

Don’t panic once again if your doctor is referring you. I know this can be scary, trust me. But if it is something that is concerning you want it caught as soon as possible.

If you still aren’t satisfied, ask to be referred to a breast specialist.

All I’m going to say is, your peace of mind is worth it. Just trust your intuition and I encourage you have a health advocate if you’re uncomfortable being your own.

A breast specialist will check your breasts, will feel the lump, will ask if you’re experiencing any pain, ask if the lump has grown, and she may or may not have you come back in a few more months.

And if the breast specialist doesn’t suggest you come back and the lump is still present over time, I would definitely have it checked out again. Don’t just dismiss it because the doctor says it doesn’t appear abnormal. If it’s abnormal for YOU, stay on top of it.

When it comes to your health become comfortable being uncomfortable.

Don’t be embarrassed or uncomfortable with your questions, or requesting a second opinion or additional follow ups, or bringing it up to family or friends, etc. Having peace of mind is always worth it even when it feels like a lot.

I know this kind of stuff isn’t fun to discuss believe me. It’s scary and terrifying but we are all in this together.

With all this being said, check yourself and ask the women in your life, “how often are you checking yourself.”

You might save their life.

To The Wildest Dreamers – Keep This In Mind

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Whatever you want in this life, I hope what I have to say can motivate or encourage you in some way.

Don’t ever stop being a dreamer.

“Set impossible goals”. I actually heard that quote on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. It was one of her greatest holiday giveaway ones.

A man had been swimming in the ocean, he did a flip, and broke his neck. Just like that, his life changed in an instant.

Life as we know is full of those kind of moments.

He was told that he may never walk again. A nurse told him something that gave him strength and determination. “Set impossible goals.”

Over time, he did learn how to walk again, he is one of the lucky few. He didn’t allow being told that he wouldn’t be able to walk again stop him or hold him back. He dreamed that impossible dream. The beautiful part of this story is he walked his wife down the aisle. And I’m willing to bet they danced too. All because he didn’t give up. All the frustration, the tears, the try after try were absolutely worth it.

(This isn’t them btw, I’m just providing a visual so you can truly try to empathize with this couple and to gain perspective. Hope it works.)

Now……

Everyone has something that they desire. What is your dream? I know you have one.

I’m willing to bet some of you reading this have never really been asked that question. Or you haven’t shared it with anyone.

I want this post to get you thinking about what you want in your life. To take a moment to identify what you seek.

When I was younger the only dream I truly desired so much was to become a mom. I’m not even kidding, that was my dream. It was a dream and it felt like a calling, I can’t really explain it. I wanted to be a mom so bad and my greatest fear was that I wouldn’t be able to have children.

When I became a mother my dream literally came true. Words cannot describe how much joy motherhood gives me. However, what’s crazy though, when I became a mom I also lost myself a bit.

Losing a bit of myself was very bizarre to me. I became something that I wanted so badly, yet, here was I not feeling completely fulfilled.

I went on a serious soul searching journey. And 3 kids later I feel the most confident, courageous, that I have ever been. And I have grown so much.

Motherhood has been the best thing to ever happen to me, because I found a different part of myself. New dreams are being born and new goals are being formed because of my first dream. My daughters inspire me. I have started dreaming ‘impossible dreams’ because of them.

I share this because I don’t ever want you to feel discouraged. The feeling of reaching something but not quite feeling the way you thought you would will happen sometimes.

I saw an interview with Tom Hanks on The Today Show and he said something along the lines of, “The good things you feel from an accomplishment don’t last, and the same goes for the things that bring you down.”

I’m grateful for my dream of motherhood coming true. Greatest, hardest thing ever! This blog exist because of my girls! I have no idea where this blog will take me, but so far it’s probably helped me more then it’s helped any of you.

Trust the Timing of things. And trust your path. Each path provides some type of lesson to get you where you need to go next.

It can take time trying to figure out what you really want.

The point is, don’t give up. Keep trying, keep experiencing, keep doing! And stop being so concerned with what others think. Otherwise you’ll just become stuck and you will settle. If you only knew that just a few feet more you’d see that something greater was waiting for you.

If you’re afraid to fail in front of others, you’re going to have to suck it up. I say that in the nicest way possible.

I personally would rather keep trying new things and experiencing failure to find what really lights my spirit up, then to just settle because I’m in a content position.

You can’t be afraid of dead ends, u-turns, or any paths that lead you into a roundabout.

The pitfalls, the mistakes, the redos are going to happen and they have to happen in order for you to learn and grow and to get where you want to be.

4 THINGS TO CLOSE THIS UP

(Thanks if you read this whole thing!)

Be patient.

Don‘t forget the reason why you’re doing what you are doing.

Write your goals down and work towards it everyday.

Stop limiting yourself, set yourself to be free and to express who you really are and who you want to become.

Enjoy the crazy maze of life!

Start Off Everyday With These 5 Simple Morning Habits

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Our mornings are what set the day for success, they set the pace for positive results, and they set our mood for optimism. Have you ever heard the quote, “Win the morning, win the day.” By Entrepreneur Tim Ferriss.

It makes a difference when things are running smoothly versus getting a late start and then constantly feeling rushed.

When we can win the morning we are setting ourselves up for productivity. You are more likely to feel a sense of accomplishment through out your day when you have a great morning.

Think for a quick moment, what do your mornings look like? How are you shaping them daily.

Would you describe the start of your day as relatively consistent or a tad sporadic? I guess it kind of depends if you went out for margaritas the prior the night before or not. But on a daily basis what’s your routine look like?

If you don’t have a morning routine I highly encourage you to develop a morning routine. Don’t feel bad if you have difficulty sticking to your routine, the important thing is to have one in place and to work towards the good habits daily.

It can be super easy to get distracted but don’t let that stop you from getting these morning rituals done.

To be honest sometimes I have difficulty sticking to this routine because my children are my huge distraction but if I can cross off at least 3 of these things every morning I typically feel pretty good!

Now if you feel your morning is consistent, what is it that you do every morning and do you feel like it’s helping with your personal growth in some way?

And who doesn’t want to start their day with a positive attitude and in a positive mood every day!

It took me some time to develop a morning routine. But I’ve found when I’m consistent in all 5 of these habits my mornings are better then ever! A great kick start to the day and feeling motivated to get stuff done.

Here is what I do just about every morning!

Start Off Everyday With These 5 Simple Morning Habits

1. Stretch

One of the first things to do is the morning is stretch. (It’s usually after I’ve had my coffee) You don’t need to perform any crazy yoga stretches first thing in the morning just stand up and move your body.

Reach for the sky, reach for your toes, move your head side to side, you get the idea. Get the blood circulating and get your energy levels back up. While stretching to a few deep breathes. This is the perfect way to wake the body and get it ready for the day!

2. Wash Your Face/Take A Shower

I feel like a good, cold, splash to the face is rejuvenating and refreshing. I feel like my puffy eyes instantly go down and I become more awake in an instant.

A cold shower is another quick way to get those energy levels up and a great way to kick start any day! I usually shower at night but if I need an extra pep in my step I put on this watermelon shower cap and take a cold body shower. I’m more alert then ever, and I just feel good.

3. Drink A Glass Of Water

One of the first things I do every morning and put into my body every morning is I drink a glass of lukewarm water. Not cold, water needs to be warm or I would say room temperature. I have been doing this forever now. The best reason to do this is to cleanse your digestive track and to help eliminate toxins from your body.

4. Read A Devotional/Watch Or Listen To Something Motivating

This is one of the best things to do every morning to get your mind right. Reading a devotional, listening to an uplifting podcast, or watching a motivational video is a great way to gain some perspective and to motivate you. There’s nothing like feeling inspired every morning. I can’t even begin to describe the impact of doing this every morning!

5. Make A To-Do List

Making a to-do list is a great way to hold yourself a accountable on tasks you want to accomplish. Creating a to do list every morning increases productivity and did you know it even relieves stress!

With life being so chaotic at times this is a great way to have some control and to remain organized.

Share your morning routine! What is it that you do every morning that gets you going?

Time to implement these habits into your life!

Confront Your Fears And Struggles With These 8 Affirmations – Scripture References Included

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Photo by picjumbo.com on Pexels.com

Everyone is going through something. No matter how they appear on the outside is irrelevant to what they may be experiencing on the inside.

Life has its hard moments. Moments where you feel like you are suffocating, you feel restrained, you feel unworthy, you feel defeated, you are fearful to the unknown.

When these obstacles visit, they typically visit unannounced and typically strike very hard. No preparation, they just completely catch you off guard. Leaving you bruised and winded.

I know it’s challenging when these moments happen or when you can’t seem to break free of these demons that are haunting you. Not everyone will know what you are going through. However I want to share that everyone knows the feeling of struggle in some form or another.

I want you to know that trials and tribulations are apart of life and they help us to strengthen our faith. When you think you are alone, I want you to know that you are not alone. I also don’t want you to give up. Never give up. Progression never ends and you will always have to work to get to the other side. Hard moments, fearful moments, challenging moments…they do not last forever.

In James 1:2-4 it is mentioned that we should be joyful during the trials in our life. These times are a true test of our faith in our Heavenly Father.

The Holy Bible – James 1:2-4

2. My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,

3. knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

4. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 

An Affirmation is a statement; you are declaring something. With saying these affirmations you are gaining power and not allowing your thoughts or attitude to go negative. This control of your mind is crucial in maturing and moving forward. When you find yourself thinking or behaving in a negative manner stop what you are doing and say a few affirmations to yourself. Just keep saying it, and don’t stop.

The more you say these affirmations the more they will resonate with you, the stronger your faith will become, and soon enough your armor will be indestructible. You will be able to handle anything that life throws at you.

Because remember, you are never alone in your turmoil.

With saying these affirmations I know it will provide the courage to take on whatever trial or trouble you are currently facing in your life.

God Bless You. 

Confront Your Fears And Struggles With These 8 Affirmations – Scripture References Included

(I encourage you to look up these scripture references and to highlight them. There may come a time when you are reading and this highlighted scripture will jump at you when you need it the most)

  • I trust in and love God completely, he is the only one I truly need and will direct me where to go Proverbs 3:5-6
  • God is my strength and is with me always Philippians 4:13 Psalm 23:4
  • I do not fear, I know God will not leave me Deuteronomy 31:6 Genesis 21:22
  • When I am afraid I will trust in God Psalm 25:2-5
  • I am living on purpose and will do great things Jeremiah 32:19 Ephesians 2:10
  • I am a confident person that does not worry Matthew 6:25-34
  • Through my trials my faith with only strengthen and mature James 1:2-4
  • I will choose to do things that I am afraid of 2 Timothy 1:7 

sunset sunshine travel wings

Photo by Julian Jagtenberg on Pexels.com

God loves you and he wants you live a joyful life. He knows what he is doing. I know it can be difficult but trusting the Lord will provide peace in your life.

I pray these affirmations will provide peace for you. They have helped me tremendously and I know they can help you as well.

Please share any thoughts or comments, or feel free to contact me.

Thank you!

Quiet Activities To Do With Your Spouse Once The Kids Fall Asleep

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What do you and your spouse do once the kids fall asleep?

Do you both get on your phones, or attend to solo activities that don’t involve each other? Be honest!

First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong if you do those things. My husband and I spend many evenings like that. We each have our own things we want to do or catch up on.

However we both know that when the kids are down for the night that it’s also an opportunity to spend some time together. Might not be able to go on an actual date but we can definitely do an activity with one another.

I have a list of activities below that you and your spouse can do once the kids fall asleep. They are fairly quiet activities so both of you won’t have to worry about waking up your kids. 

Quiet Activities To Do With Your Spouse Once The Kids Fall Asleep

1. Do A Puzzle Together

Honestly, when is the last time you’ve even done a puzzle? This is a great quiet activity with many benefits for the both of you. Lowers stress levels, delays dementia, improves your memory, and that’s just a few! There are so many “puzzle levels” out there, so have fun picking one out together and accomplishing it together.

2. Watch A Movie Or A Documentary

Netflix, amazon prime, red-box. Movies are so accessible these days. And there are a lot of great ones out there! A great opportunity to snuggle with your honey like old times. While cuddling you two will be increasing your oxytocin levels, which, makes you both feel calm and at ease. I knew I loved cuddling for a reason. 

4. Give Each Other Massages

Light some candles and bring out the essentials oils. Another great stress reliever. We could all use less stress right?

Go full body. If you’ve never had your butt massaged you’re missing out my friend.

5. Do Self Portraits of One Another

We’ve all seen Titanic right? Where Jack does a self portrait of Rose and she’s naked. I’m not saying you need to be naked but definitely have fun with this one. Make it a competition and have your friends pick the best one!

warning: you both may begin to laugh uncontrollably. 

6. Read Together

Whether it be magazines or a novel this is a great time to stimulate your brain and then have an open discussion about what you’re reading.

7. Give Each Other A Foot Rub

Currently getting a foot rub now as I write this haha. Have I mentioned how much I love my husband.

This is such a great thing to do for one another. It’s relaxing, feels good, and gets the blood flowing!

8. Go Outside And Stargaze

This obviously depends on the weather. But if the weather is nice pull out the lawn chairs and just enjoy the stars. Let the deep convos begin. What is life?

9. Cook Or Bake Something Together

The possibilities are endless! Don’t make it too complicated of course. You could make cookies, prepare some overnight French toast for breakfast (yummm), get messy with rice krispy treats, make some French bread pizzas, etc!

10. Slow dance

I’m such a sucker for the lovey dovey stuff. Turn the music on low, dim the lights, and just dance. Something so simple yet so intimate. Dance to your wedding song and get lost in the moment.

Have you heard the song Heaven by Kane Brown? Oh my goodness, you’ll cry.

11. Do Yoga Together

Yoga is a great way to wind down and enter a relaxing state of mind. You two can get even more creative with couple yoga poses. If you two end up laughing hysterically because these couple poses are winning, I say embrace it.

12. Do Facials Together

Try a DIY facial or get some sheet masks from the store. Definitely take a picture. Who doesn’t love a refreshing face to kiss later!

13. Play Cards Or A Board Game Together, Like Scrabble

Bring on the nostalgia. Let the inner child be exposed and start reminiscing with one another. A great time to learn even more about each other and how you want to raise your children.

14. Make Ice Cream Sundaes Together

Go all out and do full on ice cream Sundaes! I’m talking hot fudge, nuts, cherries on top, whip cream, the works! Or make up your own type of Sundae together! This is teamwork if you ask me.

Or, just have ice cream cones like this couple pictured above, they look like they are having fun.

15. Plan A Vacation

Make some coffee or tea and take a moment to dream together. Plan a trip and write down some goals you two would like to accomplish. You two are more likely to accomplish those goals when you write them down. Once you’re done writing your goals place them in an area where you two can see them often.

16. Take A Bubble Bath Together

Dim the lights, light some candles for a very relaxing and intimate time. Pop open a bottle of bubbly or open a bottle of wine. Relax.

Remember the scene in Pretty Woman? You two can recreate that. If this leads to something else, don’t look at me!

17. Have A Staring Contest

Believe it or not looking into each other’s eyes is a very intimate thing. Fall in love with each other all over again with this fun activity.

Tell each other why you love one another. Sounds cheesy, but you’ll never forget the sweet things he ends up telling you.

There ya have it! A few quiet activities you can enjoy with your spouse once the kiddos are sleeping tight!

Any quiet activities you would like to share? I’d love to hear it!

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you can have fun and become closer to your spouse with a few of these!

For You…Daughter – I Wish And Hope

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A poem dedicated to you
(This poem is not written by The Wild Gems, all credit is given to Joan Benicken. Thank you for your beautiful poem.)

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‘My Hope for you, Daughter’

I can’t give you the world,

filled with all its riches.

I can’t promise you a life free from

sickness, pain, and disappointment,

for that is a gift not mine to give.

I cannot guarantee that you

will never feel your heart break.

My only hope for you is that

you fulfill the dreams deep within you.

I wish for you to know yourself

and be faithful to yourself.

For if you do,

you will be able to fully love others.

Be free to choose your course in life

without fearing a wrong decision.

Reflect on what you have been taught,

and take time to listen to your heart.

Never lose the ability to feel with open arms

all the passion and joy that life holds for you.

Give all you have

without looking for something in return.

Reach out for that which you can attain

and not for that which is impossible.

My hope for you, my daughter,

is that you will be all you can be,

for only then will you awaken

to the person you want to be.

– Joan Benicken

From the book ‘There Is So Much to Love About You…Daughter’ A Blue Mountain Arts Collection

If You Have Been Experiencing Mom Guilt, I Want You To Try This

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Being a Mom can be challenging. That’s the truth, and for many different reasons and unique situations.

While Motherhood is absolutely amazing and very humbling, it’s full of struggles, hardship and what many other Mothers would call ‘Mom guilt’.

You really won’t hear too many Mothers going around talking about the struggles they have with parenting, a lot of times we keep our hard times to ourselves.

Why? Because we are ashamed to even have these feelings and emotions. We feel embarrassed and unworthy at times. It’s difficult when these types of moods occur.

I got to a point in this Motherhood journey where I knew I needed to change myself. Some of my actions were definitely uncalled for. How could I expect my little one to control their temper when I could barely control my own.

I found myself constantly complaining and it felt like I was pouring out nothing but negative things. I was loosing my patience on my toddlers. I was crying because of my behavior. I was disappointed in myself. I couldn’t believe some of the things I did and said. I truly felt unrecognizable.

My faith has always been important to me. Even more important and guiding once I became a Mother. I knew at this point where I was that I needed to be put in my place. I needed perspective and I needed an adjustment in my attitude.

When I decided that I needed to do something, a devotional book came to mind. In the past I would watch motivating videos on YouTube in hopes of being inspired or driven in some way. This time, I wanted something tangible and something that I could reference back to when needed.

I also knew a devotional book would strengthen my relationship with God, which is what I really needed. I needed help with Mothering my children because I was tired and burnt out to say the least.

I went onto amazon and I believe I typed in, ‘women’s devotional book’. Trusting God Day By Day: 365 Daily Devotionals by Joyce Meyer was one of the books that showed up in my search.

I choose that specific devotional book because of the numerous great reviews.

Mothers, I want you to try reading a devotional everyday, preferably from a devotional book. I personally suggest a book because more is said then just the devotional itself. Insight is shared, perspective is gained, and the author finds a way to connect you with their words, that you can apply to your every day life.

Try reading a devotional first thing in the morning, if not first thing in the morning then sometime during the day. 

(note: When you are reading your devotional have your bible, a journal, and a pen handy. Write down whatever stands out to you, or write down more specifically, what it means to you.)

I would like to share that reading a devotional everyday has truly helped me with my Mothering. I am more patient then I was, I am more empathetic, and I have gained more self control.

A few slips are going to happen. You’re human. However you will get closer and closer to where you want to be. You got this Mama! I am praying for you!

This is the devotional book I am currently reading daily and I am so grateful!

I’m so incredibly thankful for this journey and my beautiful daughters who have brought new colors into my world. Thank you so much for reading. I hope this will bring more peace to you and your family if you choose to try this.

@coffeewafflesandmotherhood

Sometimes Your Child Just Needs To Hear You Say, “I’m Sorry.”

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Parenting is hard. 

As you have probably heard before parenting does not come with a manual guide, nor will it ever come with a guide because every single parent does parenting differently. There would be no way to accommodate to the variety of parenting styles if a guide even did exist.

I have 2 almost three year old’s and expecting another baby in a few months and I still do not have it figured out. Truth be told, I don’t believe I ever will. However, that does not bother me because I can appreciate that parenting is a journey full of never ending lessons. Some harder then others. I hear teenage years are the hardest. 

Before I became a parent I will admit I imagined it being nothing but easy and well, fun. Full of cute and happy moments. I never once thought about the struggles that come along with welcoming a child into your life.

I just thought about how I would be the ‘best mommy ever’. I am definitely not the best mommy ever FYI

I could not wait to be a mother. It was definitely a dream of mine and a calling I felt an eagerness to fulfill at a very young age. I had my first baby at 26, and I finally felt like this prayer of mine was answered.

When I became a parent, it was better then I ever imagined it to be. It was also way harder then I ever thought. I’m talking way harder. I think the way harder really set in when my husband and I received a second baby by surprise. We were completely caught off guard.

(we received our second baby when our first was 10 months old, to read about that story you can search ‘A Blessing In Disguise’)

Noticing A Blessing In Disguise

When you become a parent, you see things differently. You don’t just see things differently but you have a completely different awareness and understanding.

You look at your parents differently…….in good and bad lighting. Your friends who have had kids for a couple of years now? You feel sorry, because you just didn’t know what they were going through. You can even connect now with strangers almost everywhere you go that are holding a little hand.

You empathize with parents because you know it’s the most amazing and yet hardest privilege.

As a parent you want to do your best for your child. But it’s hard. There are many days where you feel like a complete failure. You also blame yourself for a lot of things that are really out of your control.

We never want to hurt them.

But truth be told, we are going to leave emotional scars on our children.

Now, that’s a real tough pill to swallow especially because we are continuously trying to be the best that we can be.

We do our best to give what we didn’t receive. To be, what are parents were not. To do, what are parent’s didn’t do. As well as, try not to do, what are parents did.

We do our best. But what we think is best, is not always the best and can impact our child in ways we can’t even imagine. Which is a little frightening when you really sit and think about it.

It’s a lot of pressure! We are shaping a life or lives! And one can only hope and pray that the wounds we cause aren’t too severe.

I don’t know what type of scar I am going to leave but I know I will leave one. It may be something I say, something I do, something I choose, something I don’t do…..who knows. But there will be a time, when my child will feel let down by me.

My child is never going to forget it. And neither will yours.

And you may never know what emotional scar you left unless your child has the courage to tell you.

Just about everyone suffers from some type of ‘childhood trauma’. From mild trauma to severe.

You had a parent that always put you down, you had a parent that you felt betrayed you in some way, you had a parent that hit you, you had a parent that suffered from substance abuse, you had a parent that was never honest, you had a parent that was never there, you had a parent that favored your other siblings, you had a parent that didn’t choose you, you had a parent that didn’t believe you, your parent had a temper, your parent embarrassed you, etc……

We all have something that is THERE.

Something that left us confused, upset, concerned, worried, scared, alone, numb…something.

I can tell you, causing you pain was never their intention. Maybe there were other things going on in their life, maybe they were afraid, maybe they thought they were doing a good thing for you…..you know, you just don’t know what was going on in their head at the time. OR…..you don’t really know the results of their ‘childhood trauma’ and how it impacted and shaped their behaviors. Who knows….

(note: If your child is grown, you’re right, you can’t change the past. But you can tell them sorry. That will provide more relief then you know.)

When I look at my daughters I can only pray the scars I leave aren’t too severe. And I hope they will be comfortable enough to tell me when I have hurt their feelings or possibly done something they wish I hadn’t.

I think to myself…..what am I going to do, one day, where I am going to let you down. Even Nemo in the Kids movie ‘Finding Nemo’ said I hate you to his dad, do you remember?

My heart breaks knowing that I won’t be a perfect mom where they will grow up and say their childhood was perfect. It’s unrealistic. That’s not going to happen. I will make mistakes. I know I will, because I already do make mistakes, feel guilt, and have regrets.

It’s something inevitable, it’s going to happen.

Can you think of anything that your parent said to you or did that you have never forgot? Whether it’s big or small you remember exactly how it made you feel. 

I have 3 things I will say to my children often that I hope will always bind us together and strengthen our relationships as years come and go.

I hope by saying these things often my children will have peace of mind and not be severely impacted and haunted for years to come by my actions or words that I have no idea will influence my child in the future.

They are below.

  • I LOVE YOU

I want to make sure I am saying this as much as possible to each child of mine. I hope my child never questions how much love I have for them. It’s not enough to just say it, but telling them why I love them. Expressing to them the joy they bring into my life. Sharing lessons they have taught me. WE know we love our children, but sometimes they don’t hear it enough or feel it enough. They need to hear it and feel it.

  •  I AM PROUD OF YOU

I don’t want to just say those words after they accomplish something like a good grade on a test or a tournament won. I want to say these words just because. I don’t want my children to think they always have to impress me or accomplish something grand to hear these words. I will be proud of them everyday and I want them to know how proud I am to be their Mother.

  • I AM SORRY

This is a huge one. Being a parent, it’s hard to admit our faults. Especially, to our children. We don’t want to admit that we made a mistake or take ownership for something that we have done, because honestly…..sometimes we think we are in the right. WE think we are, but from a child’s perspective it’s completely different.

A child isn’t expecting an apology from their parent, but sometimes they need to hear it to move forward and let that burden go. I plan on saying sorry often. Sorry if I hurt their feelings, sorry if I couldn’t make their soccer game, sorry for saying NO, sorry for not being cool enough, just sorry. I will always be sorry any time I have upset them but I hope one day they will realize why I did the things I did, why I didn’t do the things they wanted and why I am who I am. I know there will be times that they need to hear this from me, and my hope is they can always forgive me

I know I will never be the best, but I will never give up trying to be the best that I can be.

Parenting is hard…..but it’s also the best gift in the world. A true gift from God and a blessing.

mother and daughter on grass
Photo by Daria Obymaha on Pexels.com

 

Thank you for reading! 🙂

 

 

Be Enlightened-Share Your Growth

Featured The Wild Gems2 Comments

“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.”

-Napoleon Hill

I have always enjoyed writing. Not always anything specific, but just simply writing. It’s very therapeutic and relieving for me. I have tons of notebooks laying around with the most random things written in them as we speak. I get a good chuckle here and there when I rummage through and read them, and other times, lets just say I find myself blushing from embarrassment. What would my husband or kids think if they read this right now….lol oh gosh.

Something I really, really, REALLY, regret doing is throwing away my teen journals. I was so taken back, a lot of the things I wrote were very personal and not the fondest memories when I would re-read my entries. They brought back pain or humiliation that I didn’t want to re-experience every time I re-read them. So like a dummy, I threw them away.

However, now that I am older and more “mature” I would really love to go back and re read what I was feeling in those days and compare to where I am now in my life.

But unfortunately those journals are long gone. It truly breaks my heart, but the lesson I learned in that is don’t throw away your writings. No matter what pain or grief some of your writings may bring, don’t toss them.

Your writings are your own little time capsule and it’s a great way to reflect on how far you’ve come. You may even learn a thing or two from well, YOURSELF.

With all that being said, a couple of days ago I was exploring all the notes I had stored in my phone. When something comes to mind I like to write it down so I don’t forget. 

I stumbled across a list of  my own lines that are ‘life advice’ related that I feel like sharing. After reading my ‘life advice’ I was wondering what the hell I was reading at that moment of writing these lol. They surprised me a little.

I consider myself pretty silly, but sometimes I can get pretty deep.

These are a few of my own little life lessons that I have learned through my own experiences. Maybe you can relate or you can apply my words into your life somehow.

Wishing you happiness and many blessings

Some life advice by yours truly

You can’t unscramble an egg once it’s been scrambled. But you know what you can do…..throw it into a burrito with some potatoes and cheese. 

You are going to make mistakes in your life. Mistakes and failures are inevitable. But that’s part of living. I’m sure you can think of a thing or two you wish you could take back but you can’t go back and hit any type of rewind button. However, you can control your reaction to the matter and how you plan on handling it. Think before you act, and hear the words in your head before you speak are to name a few. Remember, you can’t unscramble an egg once it’s been scrambled. But again, just because it’s scrambled now doesn’t mean you cant make a bad situation a good situation.

Don’t let every decision be like picking a paint color.

First of all, have you ever picked paint colors? It’s a little bit of nightmare, especially when trying to agree on colors with your significant other.

Don’t allow little simple decisions in your life to cause you any type of stress or anxiety. Whatever you pick may not be what you wanted, but be open to surprises and open to embracing something new. And always be confident in whatever you choose. It may not be what you thought…it may be better.

If you were granted a new life you would soon realize it’s not at all what you really wanted.

You are exactly where you need to be. Everything that has happened in your life thus far has been apart of the shaping of where you are now and will continue to shape you through the rest of your life. You would be surprised how much would be taken away in your life right now if you were to have a different life. A different path taken in the past wouldn’t lead you to where you are now. Look for the things in your life right now to be grateful for. And if you’re wishing for a new life, you’re spending too much time comparing your life to someone else’s. Especially…..ESPECIALLY someone on social media. 

Plan on things not going according to plan.

Isn’t this how the cookie always crumbles? It’s usually in your favor or against your favor. It ends up going better then planned or maybe worse. Accept that that is just how it is and laugh at it. Continue to make plans in life and don’t ever stop but if something changes along the way welcome the surprise whether it be good or bad. Whatever happened or happens, has a reason…..whether you know the result of it or not.

Your heart will always lead you in the right direction. It’s up to you to listen to it. 

Our hearts are often ignored. We humans are very fragile, easily manipulated, and very persuasive. Whatever is going on in your life should always be reevaluated from time to time. Our lives get so busy it’s important to pause, take a step back, and recognize where you are. Are you where you want to be…what is it that you truly want in this life.

Allow yourself some alone time with no distractions and listen to what your heart is telling you. You may not be happy with what is saying. No one else knows what your heart is saying but YOU. You are also the only one that can obey it. Whether you listen or not, it has a voice for a reason.

But how does it make you feel?

This is a question to ask yourself often. This question can be asked with almost every little thing that you do. If whatever it is, is making you angry, sad, hurt, bored, frustrated, etc. anything negative basically…it’s time to figure it out. Those types of things in life that aren’t providing happiness and joy are only going to hold you back from reaching even more happiness and joy in your life. Doesn’t necessarily mean you need to “let it all go” but it’s time to look for a solution to change that feeling. It is possible to turn the most dull tasks into pleasant ones. Get creative and open your heart and mind to inspiration.

Scars are medals of obstacles conquered. 

We are often ashamed of our scars. Doing our best to hide them so no one knows the truth. For some, the cut has been so deep they have a difficult time even acknowledging it’s existence.

Be proud of your scars. Your scars tell a story that no one else can. A scar is also something no one else can take away from you. It is yours and you should be owning it. Don’t be afraid or feel a need to hide your scars. Inspire others with your story. You are strong and courageous. You are still here.

Cry with your wounds, for one day the sun shall shine bright again.

Hard things are going to happen in your life. Really hard things. Hard things that leave you gasping for air and leave you feeling alone and confused. When those things happen, cry with your wounds and broken heart. Let your tears fall and feel all those emotions that are ripping through your soul.

Through this horrific rainstorm remember the promise of the rainbow. The sun will shine bright again, it will. Even when it feels like it never ever will. The sun will shine bright again.

Always say thank you, ALWAYS.

First of all, it’s just good manners to say thank you. Second, nobody owes you anything. I know that sounds a little harsh, but no one owes you anything in this life. Everything is earned and worked for.

People do nice things because they want to, not because they have to. Saying thank you often will take you farther then someone who does not appreciate nice gestures.

You always have enough to give.

Whether it be your time, your energy, or even your last dollar…..you will always have enough to serve another person. You get what you give. Plus, it’s proven that giving to others provides more happiness in your life.

There is more then one right way to do something. Be confident in YOUR WAY.

We don’t live in a black and white world. We live in a world that is full and colorful. No one in the world is you, and no one can do things like YOU do. Rather then trying to follow the crowd, discover your own way and be confident in your own direction or method. Be willing to share that way with others. But encourage others your way isn’t the only way. Help others find THEIR way. The destination may be the same, but the path doesn’t have to be. Find the path that matches YOUR needs.

You don’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.

Things happen in life that are unpredictable.

These types of incidents are a blessing in disguise. You may realize it sooner or you may realize it ten years later. Maybe even later. Be grateful when you can recognize it.

We are always provided the tools we need to help us and guide us in this life. May not come in the prettiest wrapping but all things are gifts. Some things have to happen in order for other things to happen. Please remember, that God loves you. He can see the whole picture, we can’t. Trust him.

I would love to hear from! Share your growth!

Do you have any life advice to share or maybe something someone told you that you never forgot!

Please comment with any thoughts or concerns! Have a great day! Thank you for stopping by!

-Marie Elizabeth

 

 

 

 

Make The Time To Celebrate YOU More – YOU Deserve It

The Wild GemsLeave a comment

When your child is doing exceptional in school or decides to do their chores without being told you reward them and you rave about it.

When your stubborn, little toddler finally goes potty all by themselves, you praise them, sing hallelujah, and you have a happy dance party, right?

When your husband actually listens and does what you ask him to do for once he gets lucky (wink, wink) and, you REMEMBER this moment. #isthisreallife

When your best friend surprises you and pays the tab for the drinks you acknowledge them, and you pay the tab on the next go around.

When your coworker covers your shift so you can attend a family event, you recognize them with their favorite coffee or a thank you card. At least I hope you do.

Are we sensing a pattern here yet?

Whenever someone does good, we remember, acknowledge, and we give love. We celebrate!

However……..

There is someone in your life that has been neglected for quite some time. This person definitely deserves some praise and acknowledgement.

WITHOUT DOUBT, this person has earned their right to treat and celebrate themselves, damn it!

This person is hardworking, dedicated, and constantly putting others needs, happiness, and demands above their own.

If you haven’t figured it out, that person is you! YES, YOU! I am talking to you!

It’s time to celebrate YOU! It’s time to give a little back to yourself! It’s time to enjoy oneself as they say!

You put up with, and have put up with, a lot of shit. You know it, and I know it. Even your pets probably know it. They do don’t they…..

Your needs are just as important, your hard work needs to be acknowledged, and you need to be doing good for yourself because like I mentioned previously, you’ve earned it! And I’m reminding you!

TIME TO PAINT THE TOWN RED FRIEND!

Before we do so, let’s do a toast:

To celebrating the miracle that you are.

To giving thanks to all the things and people that have served you.

To recognizing that everything about you is precious and unique.

To acknowledging and accepting that there is no one else like you, and that this is a beautiful thing.

And to always enjoy all of life’s offerings.

Babe, it’s time to Celebrate You. CHEERS.

It’s time to stop putting your needs and wants to the side, and it’s time to stop acting like what you do everyday is not extraordinary.

Every day, is a miraculous day if you are still breathing.

Reward yourself, treat yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself.

Celebrating you from time to time is only going to benefit you and those around you. The better mood you’re in, the better you will be to everyone else. That’s kind of common sense, right? Yet, here most of us are, putting ourselves last and not acknowledging all the amazing things we have done so far in our lives!

You’re not being selish. Don’t think that. You are taking care of you, and you are realizing that you are important too.

HOW DO I START CELEBRATING MYSELF? (It’s been that long or I’ve never really done that)

  • First, stop being so hard on yourself and thinking you’re undeserving of a few favors now and then. You are here and living, that alone deserves some recognition and appreciation.
  • Second, don’t always expect others or wait for others to treat you or celebrate your accomplishments (big or small). It is not up to other people to make you happy. Recognize the hard work that YOU have done and reward and celebrate yourself.
  • Third, think back to your childhood and write down what you really enjoyed doing when you were young. Begin to incorporate those things back into your life. Guard your time to do what you enjoy. That is treating yourself.

THE OUTCOME?

You will be happier. And aren’t we all striving for this?

It will open new doors for you, a happier you will benefit all the relationships in your life, you will become more productive, and you’ll want to help others see the value in themselves.

You will be able to help others recognize that they are important and worthy of celebrating themselves.

You will reap the benefits of guarding your time to celebrate, you. In taking the time to celebrate you and recognizing your blessings, you will be blessing others.

Maybe you celebrate yourself all the time. If you do, that is fantastic! Continue doing it and don’t ever stop! If you are not in this position, you may know someone who needs to hear this. Let them know they are deserving and encourage them to do great things for themselves.

Some people just need a little word of encouragement to get them doing what they enjoy doing again. In some way, you should be celebrating YOU everyday.

Treat yourself, take care of yourself, celebrate yourself, love yourself. 

AND If you needed a sign to do something nice for yourself, let this be your sign!!

With all this being said, don’t be so hard on yourself. Have an amazing day and go give YOU some lovin’.

-xoxo

m.g.