If you’re reading this, you’re probably ready for another baby. How exciting!
Well, actually is anyone really “ready”?
I should say, you’re ready to just take the leap! OR maybe you’re wondering when to have another baby. This blog will provide some insight on what I think is the perfect age gap for having another baby.
When I had my first baby my husband was already ready for another baby when she was 6 months old. Are you kidding me!? I definitely wasn’t. I felt like I was still adjusting and wasn’t ready to take on another baby when I currently had one. Plus, I was a little traumatized by my first birthing experience. Again, I just wasn’t ready.
Well, life throws you curve balls as we all know. We technically got a second baby when my first was 10 months old. Since they are the same age I categorize them together. They are like my little twins!
(If you’re interested in the story of how we got our second daughter you can search ‘blessing in disguise) or click below.
When it comes to wanting a second baby you can’t always plan it out. Nature just takes it course and you go with it. However if you are able to somewhat plan it then plan for this age gap that I’m about to share!
The best time to start trying is when your child is a toddler, around 2 and a half. Which means when your new baby enters the world they will be about 3 years old maybe close to 4 years old.
Now of course this is my own opinion. I’m speaking through my experience and so far with having two three year olds and a newborn it’s been nothing but an amazing thing!!
Why is 2-3 years the perfect age gap for a second baby?
Your toddler will more then likely be potty trained
Your toddler will love helping and enjoy the responsibility of being a big brother or big sister
Your child is mature enough to help you out
They know how to be gentle and are more resilient to obeying what you say
The jealousy is minimal, if anything they will be more possessive over the new baby
Your toddler is at an age when you can enroll him/her in preschool, which means more one on one time with your newborn
You’re less likely to go insane with a 2-3 year gap (#truth)
Now as I mentioned preciously this perfect age gap is my own opinion and I’m speaking through my experience.
So far this age gap has been perfect! My girls help me, they all nap together, they are potty trained, they know how to play by themselves and our quiet during “quiet time”, and they are the best big sisters!!
I love watching this bond so much. It’s the perfect age gap.
This may be your first baby or it might be your second pregnancy like mine. Whatever your situation may be, you have been scheduled a C-section.
I had my first baby 3 years ago and that little munchkin did not want to come out. I don’t blame her though. My belly had been her home for months and now we were trying to force her out. Long story short my first labor and delivery resulted in an emergency C-section.
If you aren’t prepared to have a C-section, it can be a very overwhelming experience. Some of you can relate I’m sure. However, I have made a list of things not to forget to bring with you to the hospital so your experience can be more of a positive one and to make it as comfortable as possible.
Often times when we feel overwhelmed or stressed it’s because we feel out of control in our situation. With having a scheduled C-section you already have more control then other Mothers going into delivery. For the most part you have an idea of the process and what the recovery will be like.
(My advice if this is your first C-section; read positive uplifting C-section stories, express your concerns to your doctor, and trust.)
This list will help you be more prepared and will be a great outline to customizing your own hospital bag.
Bringing books or movies will help you to stay entertained while you are waiting. Before the surgery and for after. If books or movies aren’t your thing, I would suggest packing whatever it is that soothes you and will help the time pass.
I bought some soothing music on iTunes nights prior to my surgery to calm my nerves. It helped tremendously.
2. A ROBE/NIGHTGOWN/COMFORTABLE PAJAMAS
I am all about being comfortable. While you can stay in your hospital gown the whole time (exactly what I wore the whole time for my first) this time around you may want to feel a little bit more like yourself and in something that is yours.
You will be in the hospital for about 2-4 days, depending on your situation. In that period of time you will want to wear clothing that is not to body hugging or tight. The looser, the better.
This time around I ordered a loose, breastfeeding nightgown from amazon. A robe is great as well because it allows you to be completely covered when necessary but also extremely easy to uncover when needed.
With my first C-section the pain totally caught me off guard and I was having the most difficult time figuring out breastfeeding. I couldn’t get into any comfortable positions and I became so frustrated. Arriving home from the hospital I began to use my boppy pillow that I received as a gift from my baby shower, which became my breastfeeding lifesaver.
Using it at home, I wished I had brought it with me to the hospital. Bringing the pillow this time will make nursing my baby so much easier and more accommodating for the both of us while we are in the hospital.
(When getting comfortable with breastfeeding I don’t know but newborns love the ‘football position’. The boppy pillow makes it very easy to be comfortable for you and baby.)
Don’t forget your slippers/crocs/or whatever your favorite comfortable shoes are. It’s encouraged to walk for a faster recovery after having a C-Section.
If this is your first C-Section, it will be difficult at first. I am positive my recovery could have been better if I had got moving but I just laid in bed. And when I did start moving my calves became very sore which scared me, and then that lead me to the emergency room because of googling.
Don’t just lay in bed. Take your pain meds, wear your belly band (the hospital should provide one) put on your slippers and walk as much as you can Mama. Your nurses will be encouraging you!
After your baby’s arrival you’re going to be tired and hungry. Especially because you were just required to fast before your surgery.
Although you’ll be hungry you may not be able to eat due the aftermath of the anesthesia. It made me extremely nauseous so I actually didn’t eat till the following day after my surgery.
However once you do regain your strength you will be very hungry and having some assessable snacks will provide convenience to you and whoever else is with you.
6. YOUR OWN PILLOW/BLANKET
With my first labor and delivery I didn’t anticipate staying in the hospital as long as I did. Looking back it would have been nice to have my own pillow and blanket. A little piece of home to make the nights and stay that much better and soothing.
Just because you’re having a C-section doesn’t mean you are not going to bleed. Often times we forget about the fun stuff that comes with recovery after birth.
Pack underwear that you don’t mind if it gets ruined, because more then likely it will. in a nutshell, you’re going to want underwear that can support giant maxi-pads.
(The hospital will more then likely supply all your pads and underwear needs so have peace of mind that even if you forget or don’t include this in your hospital bag your hospital has got you covered girl!)
Double check you brought both. You are going to want to capture so many moments! These are the pictures you’ll be looking back on and wanting to cry about every time. Especially as they get older and older.
The hospital stay goes by so fast and before you know it you are at home. Take it all in and capture all the details!
Keep it simple. More then likely you’ll have at least one shower in the hospital, so I would recommend bringing your own towel as well.
Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash, brush, lip balm. Keep it to a minimal. You just had a surgery!
( Your hospital will morethenlikelyprovide all ofthis! Sodon’tstressifyouforgotsomething!)
10. GOING HOME OUTFITS FOR YOU AND BABY
What a relief it is when they tell you that you can all go home.
I would suggest a loose dress for yourself. Again, you don’t want to wear anything that’s going to be rubbing against your incision.
That’s it!! Keep your hospital bag simple and don’t overpack.
Oh my goodness who else can’t wait to hold their newborn!
What are the things you are packing in your hospital bag that you don’t want to forget? I’d love to hear your thoughts or experience’s with your scheduled C-section.
Wishing you all a healthy, smooth, amazing, labor and delivery. A moment to cherish forever, that also goes by way too fast.
Having a newborn is a very joyful, exciting, and can be extremely overwhelming and stressful experience. Especially if this is your first baby.
With figuring out breastfeeding, motherhood paranoia, a body that is still healing from birth, sleep deprivation…..it’s a lot to process in the beginning. Not to mention your hormones are now adjusting to this change that just happened. It’s exhausting.
And everyone adapts differently. Everyone. Don’t compare your yourself to anyone else.
Once you have your newborn, it’s like flys to a light. Everyone wants to come visit you and meet your new little bundle.
First of all, if you’re a new mom, don’t feel obligated to tell everyone yes to meeting your baby right away. This is a precious time and again, you’re also healing. They can wait.
With my first I didn’t allow anyone to see me or meet my baby in the hospital. Everyone is different I know, but personally I didn’t want to see anyone. Not even my family. And once we got home, everyone wanted to come visit….and for the most part I let them.
But in my head I was thinking I just had major surgery, I’m bleeding right now, I’m in pain, I’m so tired…….why are you here? Let me be for a little bit and give me a moment to bond with my baby. But did I say any of that…..of course not.
When you have your baby believe it or not you become extremely possessive and mama bear kicks in high gear. You let people hold your baby but in your head you’re shouting; give her back! Don’t hold her like that! Okay, she wants her mom now….
With a new baby, have people visit when YOU are ready.
Remember this is YOUR baby. It’s OK to have a few requests with people meeting your baby for the first time. Know that much.
SO with that being said, I’d like to share my own requests:
If You’re Sick, Please Stay Away
You’d think this would be a no brainer but it’s surprisingly not! Well, truth be told I think deep down people know they shouldn’t be getting close to a new baby when they are sick but unfortunately it happens. And it happens often sadly enough.
Listen, I know you may be anxious to see those cute little cheeks and baby lips. But if you are sick, feel like you are getting sick, or literally just got over something please STAY AWAY.
Please wait till you are better. This is a newborn, my newborn, and I don’t want any harm to my baby.
2. DO NOT Kiss MY Baby
Please do not kiss my baby, ESPECIALLY, on the lips. This is my baby and I do not feel comfortable with you kissing my baby.
Now, you may offend people with this request, if you choose to tell people the same thing. Shocking I know, but unfortunately true. The people you will offend are the family members. But listen, they need to respect your wishes. If you see them kissing your baby, do not hesitate to step in and say something if you are not comfortable with it. Also, don’t feel the need to explain your reasoning.
As I mentioned previously, I am not comfortable with it. That is all I need to say.
3. Make Sure Your Hands Are Clean
Please, if you’re going to hold my baby, wash your hands before you hold her. More then likely you’re going to be admiring how adorable her little feet and hands are which will you lead you to touching them….
But what you don’t know is she sucks on her hands for comfort.
Something that you’re going to have to do when you’re pregnant is…..go shopping and get some new clothes! As if you need a reason to shop, am I right?!
It’s when your precious little bump begins to grow that your everyday clothing becomes well, a little uncomfortable to say the least.
You can only use a hair tie for so long to keep your pants together until you just can’t anymore.
If you’re not using a hair tie you’re probably using a pregnancy belly band. Which are great and super convenient by the way! I definitely recommend those in the beginning. But, eventually even that belly band soon becomes uncomfortable and you want your growing belly to be free and less compressed.
When everything starts feeling too tight let that be sign that it’s time to shop and change up your wardrobe for the next couple of months.
Maybe you’re thinking well what should I buy or wear? I’m only assuming that because you’re reading this. The simple answer is, get what’s comfortable TO YOU.
With this being my second pregnancy I am going to share with you the MUST-HAVES for your pregnancy wardrobe!
MUST HAVES FOR YOUR GROWING BABY BUMP
You can buy maternity leggings online or a maternity clothing store. I would suggest getting a least 2 pairs of maternity leggings. If you’re on the petite side you can also save yourself some money and just buy the next size up!
I really enjoyed wearing overalls while pregnant. I got a pair of shorts overalls at tjmaxx that I loved to wear. They weren’t exactly maternity overalls, I just ended up buying one pair 3 sizes up. Typically overalls are pretty baggy when you buy at your size, so buying up should work for you too!
Cute and stylish, perfect for warm weather.
Maternity jeans (below the belly)
Belly the belly is just my own personal preference. You can buy maternity jeans that have a belly band, but to me it’s really not that comfortable. But remember, do what’s comfortable for you.
You can find super cute, inexpensive maternity jeans at Target. I would suggest just getting at least one or two pairs of jeans for your pregnancy.
Maternity shorts (below the belly)
Being pregnant in the spring and summer, maternity shorts were a must for me!
I found cute, inexpensive maternity shorts at Target. I would suggest just getting at least one or two pairs of shorts for yourself if you’re pregnant during these warmer seasons.
Yes, girl. Get a nightgown. A nightgown while pregnant has been my best friend. When you think nightgown I know it doesn’t sound too attractive. However you can find some really cute or sexy ones on amazon. And of course Target has nightgowns too that will work during your pregnancy. What doesn’t Target have! I would suggest at least 2 night gowns.
sidenote: Will also be perfect postpartum!
Loose dresses (not form fitting)
Although form fitting dresses while pregnant are fun because it accentuates your belly, they aren’t that comfortable. I found myself feeling extremely bloated when I would wear form fitting clothing while pregnant.
Loose dresses are extremely convenient, stylish, and again, comfortable!
Drawstring linen pants/boho pants
Tjmaxx my friend. I found drawstring linen pants at Tjmaxx that were light, affordable, and cozy. If you don’t have much luck there I’d suggest amazon. At least 2 pairs will get you through.
Birkenstock Style Sandals
If you can afford Birkenstock sandals get some!
Don’t worry if you can’t though! That’s why I put Birkenstock style. I found a pair of generic Birkenstock sandals at a grocery store market place! Yeah, a grocery store! The sandals have hands down been my favorite footwear throughout my pregnancy! One pair is all you need. I highly recommend.
Now as for tops….
I would suggest just buying tops that are the next few sizes up. No need to really buy tops that are specifically maternity style unless you gotta have it because the design is cute.
Can’t find anything in the woman’s sections, try the men’s section! My husbands shirts were the best for this growing bump!
Clothing that is labeled ‘maternity’ can be really expensive, you’ll come to find a few sizes up works just fine.
HAPPY SHOPPING MAMA BEAR! Have fun with it!
I told you I really enjoyed wearing overalls while pregnant! 36 weeks right here! Bump is a little hidden as you can tell, but still so much fun to wear!
@coffeewafflesandmotherhood – find me on Instagram!
Being a Mom can be challenging. That’s the truth, and for many different reasons and unique situations.
While Motherhood is absolutely amazing and very humbling, it’s full of struggles, hardship and what many other Mothers would call ‘Mom guilt’.
You really won’t hear too many Mothers going around talking about the struggles they have with parenting, a lot of times we keep our hard times to ourselves.
Why? Because we are ashamed to even have these feelings and emotions. We feel embarrassed and unworthy at times. It’s difficult when these types of moods occur.
I got to a point in this Motherhood journey where I knew I needed to change myself. Some of my actions were definitely uncalled for. How could I expect my little one to control their temper when I could barely control my own.
I found myself constantly complaining and it felt like I was pouring out nothing but negative things. I was loosing my patience on my toddlers. I was crying because of my behavior. I was disappointed in myself. I couldn’t believe some of the things I did and said. I truly felt unrecognizable.
My faith has always been important to me. Even more important and guiding once I became a Mother. I knew at this point where I was that I needed to be put in my place. I needed perspective and I needed an adjustment in my attitude.
When I decided that I needed to do something, a devotional book came to mind. In the past I would watch motivating videos on YouTube in hopes of being inspired or driven in some way. This time, I wanted something tangible and something that I could reference back to when needed.
I also knew a devotional book would strengthen my relationship with God, which is what I really needed. I needed help with Mothering my children because I was tired and burnt out to say the least.
I went onto amazon and I believe I typed in, ‘women’s devotional book’. Trusting God Day By Day: 365 Daily Devotionals by Joyce Meyer was one of the books that showed up in my search.
I choose that specific devotional book because of the numerous great reviews.
Mothers, I want you to try reading a devotional everyday, preferably from a devotional book. I personally suggest a book because more is said then just the devotional itself. Insight is shared, perspective is gained, and the author finds a way to connect you with their words, that you can apply to your every day life.
Try reading a devotional first thing in the morning, if not first thing in the morning then sometime during the day.
(note: When you are reading your devotional have your bible, a journal, and a pen handy. Write down whatever stands out to you, or write down more specifically, what it means to you.)
I would like to share that reading a devotional everyday has truly helped me with my Mothering. I am more patient then I was, I am more empathetic, and I have gained more self control.
A few slips are going to happen. You’re human. However you will get closer and closer to where you want to be. You got this Mama! I am praying for you!
This is the devotional book I am currently reading daily and I am so grateful!
I’m so incredibly thankful for this journey and my beautiful daughters who have brought new colors into my world. Thank you so much for reading. I hope this will bring more peace to you and your family if you choose to try this.
When I was pregnant with my first, a little part of me thought our first would be a baby girl. Oh my goodness, a baby girl I would think, how fun that would be!
I didn’t want to get my hopes up or make any assumptions though. I would be happy with whatever our baby was.
Regardless the sex of your baby, it’s a gift! Am I right!?
When they told us at the ultrasound appointment that the baby was a girl I got so excited! And my husband became white in the face! Lol I remember asking if he was okay, it was hilarious. Although, I didn’t want to get too excited. What if they made a mistake. It does happen!
When my little baby was born and they confirmed it was a baby girl my heart just about exploded with joy! Like, I just gave birth to my best friend!
When my first daughter was 10 months, we welcomed another baby girl into our family who would soon enough be ours permanently. It was girl power in our house! I had 2 precious little girls!!!!
And now I’m pregnant again, with you guessed it! A baby girl!
I love it so much and I am so incredibly thankful. I can honestly say too that my husband loves being a girl dad. It’s never a dull moment as you other girl moms know!
A daughter is…
a star glimmering in the sky
a wonder, a sweetness
a perception, a delight…
A daughter is
– Susan Polis Schutz
5 things to love about being a Girl Mom!
1. Girl’s Make Everyone Incredibly Soft
Who doesn’t have a soft spot for a baby girl, especially their daddy! A relationship I just absolutely adore. But it’s not just their daddy, little girls have their Grandparents, Uncles and Aunts, cousins, the neighbors, your coworkers, EVERYONE……all wrapped around their finger! It’s incredibly sweet to watch other people swoon over your little girl. Not only is it sweet but it’s humorous to watch a tough man in your life get soft when they see that bright baby girl smile. Little girls hold such a special place in the heart. If you have one, you know!
2. Girl Stuff Is Just ABSOLUTELY Adorable
I love girl stuff! From the clothing, to the accessories, to room decor, to pretty much everything! Girl stuff is just so cute and creative! Being a mom you just want to buy it all! Having a daughter you do have to learn a little self control otherwise you can totally get carried away with all the glitz and glamor. But honestly, does any mom have self control when it comes to their daughter! How many times have you said – she had to have it. No shame here! She did have to have it!
3. The Sassy Attitude – you know you love it
You just can’t help but admire and envy her little full of life spirit. There will be a few times the attitude is a bit much, where you’ll be like uh, excuse me missy! You may even need to turn your cheek to restrain from laughing because you can’t believe the sass of your little girl. But deep down you just love the facial expressions and witty comebacks.
You’ll be thinking where did she learn this and truth be told its probably from you mama lol.
4. Dance Parties Everyday
Girls just wanna have fun! And dance! Every time they hear music they just can’t control themselves! I enjoy dancing too so dancing with my little girls are precious moments I always cherish. I love their dance moves, their songs of choice, and of course watching their daddy get involved with the dance party! A huge plus is they don’t judge your dancing, they want to dance just like you! You see them focusing and copying what you’re doing and it just makes you want to squeeze them, they are so cute! OR, she might be saying “No mama, no, like this.” Either way…
She got it from her mama.
5. The Gift Of Raising Your Best Friend
There is just something extremely special about a mother daughter relationship. If you are close with your mom I’m sure you two are even closer now that you have a daughter. Your daughter is going to teach you so many lessons and she is almost always going to come to you for advice, when her heart breaks, when she’s in trouble, etc. You are her rock and she is definitely yours. How special that you get to be apart of her life.
And can imagine all the mani/pedi dates, weekend getaways, shopping ventures, brunches you two will have together! Oh to have a daughter! The joy!
What’s something you enjoy about having a daughter! Leave a comment below.
However it’s been confirmed, you’re pregnant! Hopefully this is very exciting news for you! May be a bit scary, but you are about to embrace an incredible, emotional, exciting journey.
This might be your first or maybe it’s your second, third, fourth, or fifth! Whatever the situation, it’s still a rush finding out you’re pregnant.
Now, there are a ton of other blogs out there that will provide a list of ‘TO DO’s’ once you find out you are growing a little miracle, I’ve actually read a few.
I am a fan of simplicity so I am going to keep this as simple as possible and my hope is you don’t feel overwhelmed after reading my ‘what to do first’.
Let’s get started!
1. FIND A TRUSTED DOCTOR
You really need a doctor that you can trust, are comfortable with, and can confide in. Ask your friends or family for references or do a search on google. Personally, I love google because of reviews. People do not hold back on reviews, which I love and can appreciate. If you find a doctor and don’t have an immediate connection right away it’s ok, don’t stress. You can always switch doctors. I would advise not switching in your third trimester but if you need to switch in the beginning for whatever reason it’s ok. This doctor will be with you for 9 months and will most likely deliver your baby, so make sure you like him or her!
2. START TAKING THOSE PRENATAL VITAMINS
Whether you choose to take store bought prenatal vitamins or whether you have your doctor write you a prescription, start taking them right away. You’re especially going to want to look for prenatal vitamins with folic acid. Your baby grows at a rapid pace and it’s important to make sure you and your baby are getting all the vitamins and minerals to keep him or her growing healthy.
3. DOWNLOAD A PREGNANCY APP OR GET A PREGNANCY BOOK
I am personally a fan of the ‘What To Expect’ App and the ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’ books! They both stand as a great guide, to well, what to expect when being pregnant! You’re informed with what’s going on with your baby at the moment and the constant body changes you’re going through. As well as a few things you may have been wondering about. Both of these will walk you week by week, month by month, and trimester to trimester. Definitely take advantage to be more informed with what’s going on with you and your baby.
4. GET EXCITED
Being pregnant is a journey on it’s own! Even if this is your second or third child, every pregnancy is different. A lot of pregnant women don’t like to get too excited until after the first trimester because the first trimester is the most fragile time. However I’m telling you to get excited! I know you have fears and worries but do your best to always anticipate the best! Buy some pregnancy magazines, start your secret Pinterest boards, look at maternity clothing, look at baby stuff, etc. You have been given a gift, embrace it!
5. TELL A FEW TRUSTED PEOPLE
I say this because during the first trimester you may not be showing but you will be feeling your body adjusting to change. You may experience morning sickness, you will more then likely be very tired, and you may become sensitive to smells. That was totally me in my case. You just never know, but it’s comforting to have someone to talk about it with vs. dealing with these changes by yourself. After the first trimester is typically when the official pregnancy announcement is made, however don’t feel obligated to share the news once the first trimester is over. Share the news when you are ready. Have fun with it though, there are some super creative baby announcements out there.
6. BE MINDFUL OF YOUR DIET
Now that you are pregnant you really need to be mindful and cautious on what you are putting into your body. Alcohol and any other substances are a big no go. Do your best to stay away from junk food and incorporate more fruits and veggies in your every day meals. Smoothies are a great way to go. It’s also OK to indulge on some things! If you get a craving for donuts or chili cheese fries go for it! Just be moderate with those cravings. If you are unsure about something you want to eat always ask your doctor. They will let you know!
7. START A SAVINGS PLAN
Things add up, I’ll say that much. The sooner you start to save, the better. Not only will you be more prepared but starting a savings plan will provide peace of mind. Money is not something you want to stress about when the baby arrives. You will already be dealing with changes and adjusting. Money doesn’t need to be an added stress factor. Start saving now for this little bundle of joy!
8. WRITE DOWN ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS
Questions and concerns will arise at the most random moments. Although google, family, and friends are convenient, it’s best to talk to your doctor with anything on your mind concerning your pregnancy. Don’t assume you will remember what you want to discuss with your doctor at your next appointment. More then likely you will forget! It’s important to write them all down so your doctor is informed with what is going on with you. Your doctor can help ease your mind, provide resources, and offer assurance. Whatever it may be, bring it up to your doctor. I can almost guarantee your question or concern isn’t the first time they’ve heard it.
9. INCREASE YOUR WATER INTAKE
You know water in general is good for you right!? So many benefits! Now that you’re pregnant it’s even more important that you stay hydrated! Stay on that girl, it’s good for you and baby.
10. ENJOY EVERY MOMENT
Take pictures of your growing belly, start a journal, indulge in all things for pregnant women! Take advantage! There will be difficult times where you will be anxious for your pregnancy to be over. I am telling you, it goes by so fast. Before you know your baby will be here. Then they turn 1, 2, 3, 13, 18!! You will just be thinking where the heck did time go and you’ll miss those sweet baby kicks inside of you. Then you’ll start crying……. lol jk. But I’m not! Wahhh!
Just enjoy these moments where he or she is growing. This is such a precious time, and soon your life will never be the same.