Tag: perspective

Soften The Heart: Devotional #10

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“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content”

Philippians 4:11

If we define the word worry, it reads; “give way to anxiety or unease; allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.” Think about that for just a moment. When we can’t control something, it causes us stress and anxiety. It leads us down the path of worrying where we end up in a field filled with fear.

How often do you worry? Many times I’m sure. About all sorts of things, right? We worry about the future, we worry about our children, we worry about bills being paid, we worry about our health, we worry about our family, we worry about many, many things.

We all worry. What you should know though is worrying is natural human survival instinct. Ultimately we worry to protect us from harm. Maybe you’re thinking, “how is worrying about my family protecting me? I’m worry about them.” Yes, that is true, however you worry to protect yourself from feeling pain. If something happens to someone in your family, you know you would suffer too. And who wants to suffer? Again, we worry to protect us. *Humans are pretty selfish, we think about ourselves a lot.*

Now worrying and living in fear is giving in to a very powerful force. Too many times we allow these emotions to completely control us and prevent us from truly living and feeling joy in our hearts. This also prevents our relationship with God from growing. Why? Because we aren’t trusting God. We aren’t trusting the creator of the entire universe. You’re not alone my friend, and you’re not on your own.

We have to lean in, we have to surrender, and we have to trust our Heavenly Father. He knows way more than we do. But, like a three year old, we are stubborn children. We want to do things on our own. Like children, we don’t want help. We don’t want to believe our Heavenly Father knows more than we do. Maybe we aren’t children, we kinda sound more like teenagers.

The spirit within us is like a muscle. As we strengthen our spirit muscle, it becomes stronger. The seed of love that God planted in all of us becomes stronger. God is love my friends. But we gotta water that seed! And we have to water others! As we continue to work on your relationship with God we become stronger than the flesh, we become stronger than those feelings and emotions that act like a wall preventing us from living in peace and harmony.

When we continue to seek God, the walls of fear and worry begin to crumble and dissolve like a soaked cookie in milk. We begin to feel peace within ourselves.

No matter what state we are in we aren’t worried or in fear because we know God loves us. We know no matter what, it’s going to be okay. We begin to understand God is in us, he surrounds us, he is reaching out and rescuing us.

But to be in that state, we have to reach our hand out. Gods hand is already present, we are the ones holding back. And once we grab ahold of the hand of God no matter what happens you’ll know in your heart God has got this. No matter what you know in the end Gods going to make everything right. God loves you. He loves you, He loves you, He loves you.

God bless

Soften The Heart: Devotional #9

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“I go to prepare a place for you.”

John: 14:2

How often do we scramble chaotically to present a clean and tidy home before someone arrives? Pretty often I would say, especially when we are hosting something like a birthday party. It’s a race against time. Can any of you relate?

Now, we don’t begin scrubbing or wiping everything down for ourselves, no, our mess or way of living doesn’t bother us that much. We clean with passion for our guests or friends or family! We do this because we care! We do this because we want to create a space of comfort, safety, well-being, and ultimately good vibes. We want our place to be a place where they enjoy coming to. We want to create a place where they don’t want to leave and anticipate coming back to again!

God has invited us to join him in a huge celebration and He is “preparing the party”. Are we going to accept the invitation? Of course we are! Jesus doesn’t need to prepare anything for anyone, but He prepares a place because He loves us. It’s all for us. He is ready to welcome each and every one of us. He knows this earthly life is troubling which is why this is so important that the place He prepares is ready for us.

We will walk through those doors and the weight of the world that we lived in will be lifted. We will instantly feel that comfort and safety in which we try ourselves to provide for our guests. Imagine that, how loved we are. It will most definitely be a place we never want to leave, and we will be reminded of all the love that was always there, just waiting for us to arrive.

God Bless.

Soften The Heart: Devotional #8

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“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

It is undeniable that humanity does evil things. We are most definitely witnesses to that. Evil lurks around like a fragrance that has yet to fade away.

Jesus though gave us some serious truth bombs. We know this from reading the scriptures. And the effects of these “truth bombs” are still lingering today. Rather than a bomb being filled with gas or smoke, Jesus planted bombs filled with love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

The fragments from these bombs are still piercing souls as we speak. The dust has not yet settled from what Jesus has done for us or taught us. Which is why we don’t understand everything fully yet. We’re all still in this giant cloud of smoke from this gift that God gave us because he loves us. Most people wouldn’t think of a bomb as a gift, however this bomb of love and truth from God is the greatest thing that could ever happen to us.

Here’s the thing though, Jesus came so that through him we may have peace. The key word is *may*. It is completely our choice to take this peace that God has offered to us.

Rather than being in the cloud of smoke afraid because we can’t see anything, and groaning because our ears are ringing from the noise, or hiding because we’re scared. We can be anxiously excited to see that all our fears have been conquered because of the truth bombs that were planted for us. If we keep our eyes open while the dust is settling we can actually witness the changes. We get to see evil transformed to love. How amazing!

Jesus says, be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. What a comforting thing to know. Soon enough we all will get to rejoice in this beautiful new world. Praise God, Praise the Lord.

Love to you all

Soften The Heart: Devotional #7

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“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance;

And perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Romans 5: 3-4

This earthly life is full of inevitable hardships. Which is what a tribulation is; a hardship. However, as the scripture says, with hardships come lessons in determination, which gives us strength, which gives hope and encouragement to others and to yourself.

Some of you may already know this to be true and the pain is still lingering. You may be in a storm right now. But you also know what comes after a storm. A beautiful rainbow.

Sometimes in life you see great ordeals approaching, other times, those hardships will unexpectedly knock the air out of you the way a car spits out an airbag. Nobody wants to go through pain and suffering and nobody wants to see those especially close to them endure such things. They break our heart and crush our soul. But we are strong and courageous.

We have such things because we live in a world that is ill. However what we are being told to do when we encounter a hardship is to be still and rejoice. We are being told, don’t worry, something good will come out of this if you allow it. You have to seek the good. But think of those hard times for a moment, what did they teach you? What are you doing now and sharing with others to prevent anyone from suffering what you may have endured. Hard times happen to bring us closer together, not to separate us. Which is what God and truthfully all of us want. We want unity and peace.

So let’s hold hands and embrace these hard times together.

Soften The Heart: Devotional #6

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“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, That it may give seed to the sower, And bread to the eater,

So shall My word be that goes forth, From My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

Isaiah 55:10-11

How wonderful is it when it rains after a long, stretched out drought. The animals and plants rejoice and dance together. Farmers thank the heavens. Rivers begin to flow effortlessly. The dust is pressed into the soft ground and what lingers is an incredbily crisp air that cleanses our lungs. The aroma of earth is fresh and ever so craving. When it rains for consecutive days, nature becomes fuller. Do you notice that? That is something you can see, that is something you can feel with your fingers. Life is sprung where you were oblivious to the seeds that were resting. How grateful we must be for the gift of rainfall.

As the scripture says “rain comes down, and does not return from where it came.” Rain comes down with a mission to accomplish and the rain never fails. It fully gives itself to earth. We may not see rain return to the sky but we can see the life of it’s work way after the rainfall has stopped. We look forward to the rain again because it is so pure and refreshing for all that it touches.

Gods word is like rain. It brings forth life, change, renewal, the same way rain does. Like the rain, Gods word has a mission and it will not fail those who ponder and read on it. We know the power of rain but yet, many of us have a difficult time believing in the power of Gods word. And that it can produce so much, just as rain and snow do.

He has left his word with us that it may water and bring forth seeds of love and compassion that reside in all of our hearts. He left His word to fulfill that empty space that we all are constantly trying to fill. Those are the seeds that are so thirsty. Watering those seeds with material and physical things will not clench the thirst of our spirits. They are watered with the things in which we cannot see. They are watered through pondering Gods word, prayer, hope, faith. His word is part of the equation to life. Humans, plants, animals, cannot live without water. We know this is true. To develop peace in our hearts is to study and ponder Gods word. As rain changes nature, Gods word will change our hearts. With His word, there is hope.

Notice what Gods word has accomplished in this world so far. Like the rain, it does not fail what it has been set out to do. Like the rain…

it has a vital purpose.

m.g.

Soften The Heart: Devotional #4

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“So he answered and said, “ ‘ You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself .’ “

Luke 10:27

If you study and pay attention you will begin to recognize how we are all interwoven creating life itself. We lean on one another without realizing, we depend on more than we believe or even know, all of us representing a small piece that make up a grand infinite masterpiece.

We are one. When you love someone, some thing, you are loving not just that something but yourself. Made up of the same universe. All in this life and unknown together. God is all around you, in every thing that you see, touch, smell, hear, taste, God is in you, God is in us.

Everything is deserving of love and every thing needs love. We must accept and appreciate the cycles and have faith in all that is. Have faith that no matter what, love will always grow through the mud the same way a lotus does. Love will grow through the suffering and the obstacles.

Choose love today, and every day.

Soften The Heart: Devotional #3

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“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy or sell, and make a profit”;

whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”

James 4:13-14

Life is precious like a gem and fragile like porcelain. It is so easy to get caught up in the web of this fast paced world and forget that we are not promised tomorrow. That our futures are not guaranteed. What we have is the present. What we have is a gift. And this is something we need to constantly remind ourselves. But many of us have difficulty living in the present moment. We become anchored to our past or become too caught up on a future that we know nothing of. I believe we may remain hopeful of our futures and I believe our past continues to teach us; the same way re- reading a favorite book in different stages of your life changes your perspective. However we must also accept that many things in life are out of our control. Coming to terms with this reality, that our lives are faster than a blink of an eye when you’re looking at the bigger picture feels incredibly surreal. But maybe going through this earthly life is the only way to know God. That this life is a grace of its own to know Gods love and sovereignty.

Let every day of your life be filled with passion, purpose, forgiveness, grace, mercy, and love. Be grateful for each day. Hug and hold your loved ones close and thank God for this opportunity and chance to experience love.

To The Wildest Dreamers – Keep This In Mind

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Whatever you want in this life, I hope what I have to say can motivate or encourage you in some way.

Don’t ever stop being a dreamer.

“Set impossible goals”. I actually heard that quote on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. It was one of her greatest holiday giveaway ones.

A man had been swimming in the ocean, he did a flip, and broke his neck. Just like that, his life changed in an instant.

Life as we know is full of those kind of moments.

He was told that he may never walk again. A nurse told him something that gave him strength and determination. “Set impossible goals.”

Over time, he did learn how to walk again, he is one of the lucky few. He didn’t allow being told that he wouldn’t be able to walk again stop him or hold him back. He dreamed that impossible dream. The beautiful part of this story is he walked his wife down the aisle. And I’m willing to bet they danced too. All because he didn’t give up. All the frustration, the tears, the try after try were absolutely worth it.

(This isn’t them btw, I’m just providing a visual so you can truly try to empathize with this couple and to gain perspective. Hope it works.)

Now……

Everyone has something that they desire. What is your dream? I know you have one.

I’m willing to bet some of you reading this have never really been asked that question. Or you haven’t shared it with anyone.

I want this post to get you thinking about what you want in your life. To take a moment to identify what you seek.

When I was younger the only dream I truly desired so much was to become a mom. I’m not even kidding, that was my dream. It was a dream and it felt like a calling, I can’t really explain it. I wanted to be a mom so bad and my greatest fear was that I wouldn’t be able to have children.

When I became a mother my dream literally came true. Words cannot describe how much joy motherhood gives me. However, what’s crazy though, when I became a mom I also lost myself a bit.

Losing a bit of myself was very bizarre to me. I became something that I wanted so badly, yet, here was I not feeling completely fulfilled.

I went on a serious soul searching journey. And 3 kids later I feel the most confident, courageous, that I have ever been. And I have grown so much.

Motherhood has been the best thing to ever happen to me, because I found a different part of myself. New dreams are being born and new goals are being formed because of my first dream. My daughters inspire me. I have started dreaming ‘impossible dreams’ because of them.

I share this because I don’t ever want you to feel discouraged. The feeling of reaching something but not quite feeling the way you thought you would will happen sometimes.

I saw an interview with Tom Hanks on The Today Show and he said something along the lines of, “The good things you feel from an accomplishment don’t last, and the same goes for the things that bring you down.”

I’m grateful for my dream of motherhood coming true. Greatest, hardest thing ever! This blog exist because of my girls! I have no idea where this blog will take me, but so far it’s probably helped me more then it’s helped any of you.

Trust the Timing of things. And trust your path. Each path provides some type of lesson to get you where you need to go next.

It can take time trying to figure out what you really want.

The point is, don’t give up. Keep trying, keep experiencing, keep doing! And stop being so concerned with what others think. Otherwise you’ll just become stuck and you will settle. If you only knew that just a few feet more you’d see that something greater was waiting for you.

If you’re afraid to fail in front of others, you’re going to have to suck it up. I say that in the nicest way possible.

I personally would rather keep trying new things and experiencing failure to find what really lights my spirit up, then to just settle because I’m in a content position.

You can’t be afraid of dead ends, u-turns, or any paths that lead you into a roundabout.

The pitfalls, the mistakes, the redos are going to happen and they have to happen in order for you to learn and grow and to get where you want to be.

4 THINGS TO CLOSE THIS UP

(Thanks if you read this whole thing!)

Be patient.

Don‘t forget the reason why you’re doing what you are doing.

Write your goals down and work towards it everyday.

Stop limiting yourself, set yourself to be free and to express who you really are and who you want to become.

Enjoy the crazy maze of life!

We Can Live In A Better World With A Simple Act

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I think something we all think about from time to time is our purpose in life.

Not just our purpose, but we wonder how we are contributing to this world. We ask ourselves what impact am I making, or how can I make an impact? I have an answer.

Kindness.

We reciprocate kindness. It’s something so simple yet extremely powerful.

Can you imagine a world where people were just more kind. Kind as in soft hearted, thoughtful, helpful, loving, full of compassionate and sincerity.

You hear about acts of kindness, you hear how contagious it is but what is an act of kindness really.

An act of kindness is a selfless act you do for someone or something for the mere fact of making them feel good and expecting nothing in exchange. That’s a very simple explanation.

In result of these actions, these acts of kindness, you feel good. You feel really good, you feel positive, you feel and you know you are making an impact in someway. If you are unaware of this, YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE with every kind thing that you do.

You don’t need to know the results of whatever good acts of kindness you are doing because in your heart you know these good deeds are impactful and will go further then you can possibly imagine.

Kindness is extremely contagious. Which is why we need to be more kind to one another.

Even just witnessing an act of kindness makes you feel good! Have you ever noticed that?

In performing more acts of kindness you are spreading magic.

When someone does something nice for YOU, don’t you feel a need and a desire to reciprocate it. You want to return the gesture because you keep in mind how good it made you feel and you want to pay it forward.

All this kindness feels so good because it releases that love hormone you’ve heard about, oxytocin.

A hormone that is released through intimacy, hugging, childbirth, and that’s just to name a few! Overall I think we all can agree it’s a pretty good feeling.

I feel like often we are reminded how cruel this world can be. Whether it be something we watch on the news or see on social media, or hear maybe on the radio.

It’s crucial to not let these bad things that exist harden your heart and to stay strong with your ‘kindness armor’.

Being a Mother I worry a lot about my children and this world they are growing up in. But I know if we are all just more kind this world really can be a better place.

I challenge you to do more acts of kindness. Empathize with one another and choose to love. We are all in this together. We are one.

No matter how big or small you think you are, you play a huge part in this life and world and plan. Lift those who are weak, continue to strengthen yourself to help others, and never give up on the vision that you have for a better place.

What kind thing will you do today?

5 Struggles Of A Kinship Adoption

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What is a kinship adoption?

A kinship adoption is an adoption of a child by an extended family member. An example would be a child’s Grandma, Grandpa or maybe an Aunt, or Uncle.

If a kinship adoption is occurring the circumstances are not typically ideal and can be very heartbreaking for many people involved.

Substance abuse is a prime example of why a kinship adoption may occur.

The great thing about a kinship adoption is the child or children remain within their family who they are usually already familiar with. Which can help with a smoother transition for the child or even other family members.

In many cases it is preferred that a child that needs to be adopted remains within family but sometimes it just cannot be done. And that’s ok. Each adoption case has a story and is different.

Having had guardianship over my niece now for over two years and legally adopting her with my husband I would like to share the struggles of a kinship adoption and maintaining an open relationship with the birth mother.

(It is entirely up to you if decide to keep an open relationship with the birth parent or parents. It’s difficult because the birth parent or parents are related to you in some way and your relationship is now impacted and will no longer be the same going forward.)

I am sharing these struggles for other people that may be in the process of adopting a family member or having to make the decision of taking a child in and gaining an idea of what to expect if you accept this responsibility.

What matters is doing the absolute best for the child.

I am sharing these struggles so YOU reading this have an idea on what to expect when adopting a child and maintaining an open relationship. I hope this will allow you prepare in some way and to go into this process aware and confident.

5 Struggles Of A Kinship Adoption

1. The Whole Family is Affected

When you take in a child within the family the whole family is affected. If the child has other siblings it can be even more of a challenge because they may not know the whole situation. Family members are hurt, upset, concerned and it takes a toll on everyone. The family members that are very affected are the ones taking the child in. It can create hardships within your own family and significant other. It can be even more difficult adapting when you have children of your own for many different reasons.

2. It’s Drama And A Whole Lot Of Emotion

The relationship with the birth parent or parents becomes very unstable. The relationship will be different and emotions will constantly be high. The birth parent or parents are more comfortable saying how they are feeling or saying very inappropriate things because they can “get away with it” because you are indeed kin. Hurtful actions and words will take place and you can’t take what is being said or done personal. Easier said then done.

3. Developing Boundaries And Ensuring EVERYONE Is On the Same Page

A birth parent or parents may have lost custody but they will expect to still be able to see their child whenever they want. They also may expect to still have a say in the raising of the child.

The child is no longer in their care. This is where you need to establish boundaries. The child was taken away for a reason and when the boundaries are set it is very important that the rest of the family respect your wishes. This is the struggle. Not everyone will be on the same page with your boundaries. You may be blind sided at times and will have to constantly remind other family members what is and what is not okay when it comes to the birth parent or parents.

4. Doing What Is Best For The Child

Other family members will share their input and it’s hard to separate those feelings and what’s really best for your child. You will want to accomadate to what they want or you will try to make everyone else happy. It’s easy to lose track of what’s best for the child because now relationships with other family members are interfering and you don’t want to upset or hurt anyone. It’s very difficult and it becomes very upsetting when other family members are upset with you when you are just trying to do what’s best for your child. They will have a difficult time seeing things from your side and perspective.

5. Not Receiving Empathy/Lack Of Support

Some family members will not take the time to really notice the struggles that you are facing or even take the time to understand how hard this has all been. Especially when it happens out of the complete blue. This is why it feels like you are going through this alone at times.

People have a hard time understanding that you made THE CHOICE to take the child and other family members will take advantage of the situation not truly realizing what your position truly entails. Especially as you move forward and as the child gets older. If you decide this or that, a family member may lash out at you because they don’t agree with a decision that you made. When really, you should be supported whether they like it or not.

The birth parent is asked about, the child is asked about, but often you won’t be asked how this is all affecting you.

With writing this my goal is to share common struggles you may face when handling an open kinship adoption and to ensure you that you are not alone.

It’s hard. I know it is.

But I also know the many amazing things that come out of a kinship adoption. Before we took in my now daughter I remember googling the pros and cons of taking in a family member because I wanted to know what to expect. I knew taking her in would be hard and would open plenty of cans of worms but I also knew it was the right thing to do.

You are doing the right thing and that child you may have now is very fortunate to be with you. YOU, are their parent. Despite the struggles you are facing and will face there is no better place they could be.

To the person or persons taking in a Child within the family:

What you are doing is brave and takes courage. I want you to know you are doing the right thing even if you feel confused and stressed right now. Taking a child without any time to prepare is extremely challenging and many others don’t know the hardship of it all.

You are not alone in how you feel, you are not alone in this process, and you are not alone with your decisions.

There will be challenges and there will be tears, however, there are many rainbows within these storms I can assure you.