Whether you have been scheduled a c-section or you’re anticipating one, it can be a little overwhelming.
Especially if you’ve had already one and it wasn’t a good experience. Could have been an emergency one or something different. Whatever the case, it may have left you on edge a bit.
Thinking of labor and delivery may be the last thing you want to do because you’re probably scared to relive it or you’re afraid of the unknown of going through it.
Which btw is completely normal to experience these feelings and anxiety before a c-section.
I know the feeling of fear leading up to a c-section. I had an emergency one with my first. My second was scheduled. I was absolutely terrified. To the point of crying pretty much anytime anyone brought it up to me.
When I found out I was pregnant I already anticipated that I would be having another c-section. The fear I had of having to go through that again stole joy from my pregnancy. It was difficult for me to enjoy because I was so fixated on what I was going to have to go through again. I was stuck on THAT experience. Assuming it would be the exact same way. (note: emergency and scheduled really are completely different.)
I want you to know that I know how you’re feeling and I really hope this blog post can help you ease your mind and go into this procedure with a strong and courageous attitude!
Below is exactly what I did and I’m so happy I took the time to mentally prepare myself. I didn’t want my baby entering the world with a stressed mama and I wanted to embrace and be brave through this experience.
(If you have questions or concerns or just want to talk about how you’ve been feeling please don’t hesitate to contact me.)
A Guide To Mentally Preparing Yourself For A C-Section
(This was a repeat c-section for me. My first was an emergency and my second one was scheduled and what a completely different experience it was. I also healed way faster then with my first. I was still scared naturally ,however taking the time to mentally prepare myself helped me beyond measures. I truly hope what I did may help you in someway as well.)
Listen To Soothing Music
Music is proven to calm down anxiety. What I did was I bought “soothing music” on iTunes. (The type of music you would hear while getting a massage.) I would go to sleep with it on a night because that was often the time my fears would really set it. I listened to this type of music a week prior of my scheduled c-section. I know it helped calming my nerves.
Say Daily Affirmations
Affirmations are more powerful then you may believe. Saying affirmations truly helped me to overcome my fears and negative thoughts. Whenever I caught myself thinking the worst I would say or think to myself,
“I am strong and courageous. I am not afraid. I know God is with me.”
This is in reference to the scripture Joshua 1:9. I can’t even express how much power I would feel saying this often and how much peace it brought me.
Read Positive Uplifting C-Sections Stories (They do exist)
When people hear “c-section” they often associate it with a negative experience. People will often give you a cringe type of look when you tell them you have a scheduled C-section or that you’ve had a C-section.
I want you to know there are some great, uplifting, positive stories out there. You just have to search them. These stories can provide some type of relief that your experience can be just as wonderful and positive as theirs.
Express Your Concerns And Fears To Your Doctor
This is very important. My hope is that you trust and are very comfortable with your Doctor. Let her or him know how you have been feeling. They will do their absolute best to calm you and make this a very pleasant experience for you.
When I had my c-section I requested to have oxygen to keep me calm. I didn’t even end up using it because I was able to calm myself down mentally. I was so proud myself. My doctors and nurses were also extremely amazing and made me feel so safe and comfortable. I cannot thank them enough for going above and beyond for me.
Talk About It
When I was able to talk about my delivery without crying I knew I was making progress. The more you actually talk about the procedure and recovery the more comfortable and confident you will be going in.
Make A Mental Check List
I read a blog titled ‘What To Expect When Having A C-Section By An L&D Nurse’. Her blog literally walked me through exactly what I went through.
It helps knowing what to expect so you aren’t caught off guard by anything. So when we left in the morning I started checking off things in my head, I was somewhat a step ahead or already knew what the next step would be. I felt more in control of the situation.
(This is a glimpse of what I was checking off in my head. I made a checklist on my notes app.)
Try To Have Your Procedure Scheduled In The Morning
The sooner the better. Statistically less complications happen in surgeries scheduled in the morning. This will provide a little peace of mind for you if you can be scheduled in the morning.
Also the Doctors and Nurses are just starting their day. They are alert and hopefully well rested to care for you as their first patient.
Pray (Ask For Prayers)/Meditate
Pray, pray, pray. I am a believer in prayers and I know God hears them. This is where your faith and trust is truly strengthened.
And it is OKAY to ask for prayers. It’s more then okay.
When you feel your mind being directed back to your fears DISTRACT YOURSELF. Worrying truly isn’t going to do anything but steal joy from enjoying your days and nights.
What I did was play and entertain my other two daughters, read, and wrote blogs. It kept me busy and mind off other stuff.
Trust And Think About Meeting Your Baby
Put all your focus on meeting your little miracle. Express your gratitude and try your best to just enjoy the moment and all the little details. You will be so happy you did.
It will all be worth it Mama. Before you know you will be holding your sweet baby. You got this.
I know you can do this. I am praying for you and I wish you a happy and healthy delivery. As well as a super fast recovery.
Everyone is going through something. No matter how they appear on the outside is irrelevant to what they may be experiencing on the inside.
Life has its hard moments. Moments where you feel like you are suffocating, you feel restrained, you feel unworthy, you feel defeated, you are fearful to the unknown.
When these obstacles visit, they typically visit unannounced and typically strike very hard. No preparation, they just completely catch you off guard. Leaving you bruised and winded.
I know it’s challenging when these moments happen or when you can’t seem to break free of these demons that are haunting you. Not everyone will know what you are going through. However I want to share that everyone knows the feeling of struggle in some form or another.
I want you to know that trials and tribulations are apart of life and they help us to strengthen our faith. When you think you are alone, I want you to know that you are not alone. I also don’t want you to give up. Never give up. Progression never ends and you will always have to work to get to the other side. Hard moments, fearful moments, challenging moments…they do not last forever.
In James 1:2-4 it is mentioned that we should be joyful during the trials in our life. These times are a true test of our faith in our Heavenly Father.
The Holy Bible – James 1:2-4
2. My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
3. knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
4. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
An Affirmation is a statement; you are declaring something. With saying these affirmations you are gaining power and not allowing your thoughts or attitude to go negative. This control of your mind is crucial in maturing and moving forward. When you find yourself thinking or behaving in a negative manner stop what you are doing and say a few affirmations to yourself. Just keep saying it, and don’t stop.
The more you say these affirmations the more they will resonate with you, the stronger your faith will become, and soon enough your armor will be indestructible. You will be able to handle anything that life throws at you.
Because remember, you are never alone in your turmoil.
With saying these affirmations I know it will provide the courage to take on whatever trial or trouble you are currently facing in your life.
God Bless You.
Confront Your Fears And Struggles With These 8 Affirmations – Scripture References Included
(I encourage you to look up these scripture references and to highlight them. There may come a time when you are reading and this highlighted scripture will jump at you when you need it the most)
I trust in and love God completely, he is the only one I truly need and will direct me where to go Proverbs 3:5-6
God is my strength and is with me always Philippians 4:13 Psalm 23:4
I do not fear, I know God will not leave me Deuteronomy 31:6Genesis 21:22
When I am afraid I will trust in God Psalm 25:2-5
I am living on purpose and will do great things Jeremiah 32:19 Ephesians 2:10
I am a confident person that does not worry Matthew 6:25-34
Through my trials my faith with only strengthen and mature James 1:2-4
I will choose to do things that I am afraid of 2 Timothy 1:7
God loves you and he wants you live a joyful life. He knows what he is doing. I know it can be difficult but trusting the Lord will provide peace in your life.
I pray these affirmations will provide peace for you. They have helped me tremendously and I know they can help you as well.
Please share any thoughts or comments, or feel free to contact me.
20’s are an absolute blast I will say and a time for some full on growth.
Full of foolish moments that make you smile whenever you think about them. Happy hours, parties, late night shenanigans, plenty of all nighters, summer love, blurry moments, adventure, dancing, and some really fun, stupid times.
A few moments of “what was I thinking?” and, “I still can’t believe I did that” will happen when reminiscing about your 20’s.
Your twenties are kind of the carefree time in your life. At least in the beginning it starts like that.
When I say carefree I mean go with the flow kind of mentality. That things will just work out how they need so. Your thought process is that you have time.
Later you realize that’s not exactly how it works, if you want something it’s going to take work and you have to be willing to put in the work to get what you want. You also realize time doesn’t wait and you don’t get time back.
You don’t really realize how young and naive you are at that age till you are reflecting on the past.
You will be a different person at age 21, 25, and 29 no doubt. A little hard to believe how much changing and evolving happens during this time.
Your 20’s are full of growing and identifying who you are and what you truly want to be. You may move to a different city, make a drastic career change, get into a committed relationship, do things you said you’d never do, and a few setbacks may happen here and there.
Your 20’s are also full of mistakes. Recalling events or actions and feeling completely embarrassed or guilty. Or not taking that leap of faith your initiation was telling you to do.
During these moments you learn to discover the silver lining in all things.
Towards the end of your 20’s you begin to love yourself and you learn how to not let the opinions of others alter who you are. You may become lost, but you also find yourself in a completely different way.
You drift away from friends but gain new ones. Some you cut off completely, some you rekindle with.
You become very close with your family and recognize how often they have been there for you and have supported you.
You may get married and have kids. If it’s not happening to you it will be happening to the people around you. Don’t feel rushed or saddened.
There is a time for everything. One lesson you will learn in your 20’s.
There will also be a few hard moments that will probably happen in your 20’s. Heartbreak and loss. Feelings of wasted time and regret.
Struggles will happen with your relationship, you may experience struggles of trying to start a family, you may struggle with work, you may struggle with debt, you may experience betrayal, you may experience heartbreak, etc.
These are the moments that will shape you the most. You will become more empathic towards others and gain a variety of different perspectives.
A few things you will take with you onto the next decade are:
More confidence and more self assurance
A list of goals you are determined to accomplish
Awareness of how fast life really does go
Words of wisdom from friends, parents, or mentors
The courage to say No to things you really don’t want to do
That things will pass, and life does go on
More knowledge about your physical and mental health and how you need to stay on that
Friendships you’re incredibly thankful for
Advice for your 20s
Seize opportunities that approach you
Explore and Travel
Learn how to manage your finances
Spend time with your parents
Go On A Solo Trip If You Can
Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s
If you aren’t happy, don’t wait, do something about it NOW
On to the next adventure. On to the 30’s.
For myself, I am incredibly grateful for where I am and the lessons I have learned.
Being a Mom can be challenging. That’s the truth, and for many different reasons and unique situations.
While Motherhood is absolutely amazing and very humbling, it’s full of struggles, hardship and what many other Mothers would call ‘Mom guilt’.
You really won’t hear too many Mothers going around talking about the struggles they have with parenting, a lot of times we keep our hard times to ourselves.
Why? Because we are ashamed to even have these feelings and emotions. We feel embarrassed and unworthy at times. It’s difficult when these types of moods occur.
I got to a point in this Motherhood journey where I knew I needed to change myself. Some of my actions were definitely uncalled for. How could I expect my little one to control their temper when I could barely control my own.
I found myself constantly complaining and it felt like I was pouring out nothing but negative things. I was loosing my patience on my toddlers. I was crying because of my behavior. I was disappointed in myself. I couldn’t believe some of the things I did and said. I truly felt unrecognizable.
My faith has always been important to me. Even more important and guiding once I became a Mother. I knew at this point where I was that I needed to be put in my place. I needed perspective and I needed an adjustment in my attitude.
When I decided that I needed to do something, a devotional book came to mind. In the past I would watch motivating videos on YouTube in hopes of being inspired or driven in some way. This time, I wanted something tangible and something that I could reference back to when needed.
I also knew a devotional book would strengthen my relationship with God, which is what I really needed. I needed help with Mothering my children because I was tired and burnt out to say the least.
I went onto amazon and I believe I typed in, ‘women’s devotional book’. Trusting God Day By Day: 365 Daily Devotionals by Joyce Meyer was one of the books that showed up in my search.
I choose that specific devotional book because of the numerous great reviews.
Mothers, I want you to try reading a devotional everyday, preferably from a devotional book. I personally suggest a book because more is said then just the devotional itself. Insight is shared, perspective is gained, and the author finds a way to connect you with their words, that you can apply to your every day life.
Try reading a devotional first thing in the morning, if not first thing in the morning then sometime during the day.
(note: When you are reading your devotional have your bible, a journal, and a pen handy. Write down whatever stands out to you, or write down more specifically, what it means to you.)
I would like to share that reading a devotional everyday has truly helped me with my Mothering. I am more patient then I was, I am more empathetic, and I have gained more self control.
A few slips are going to happen. You’re human. However you will get closer and closer to where you want to be. You got this Mama! I am praying for you!
This is the devotional book I am currently reading daily and I am so grateful!
I’m so incredibly thankful for this journey and my beautiful daughters who have brought new colors into my world. Thank you so much for reading. I hope this will bring more peace to you and your family if you choose to try this.
As you have probably heard before parenting does not come with a manual guide, nor will it ever come with a guide because every single parent does parenting differently. There would be no way to accommodate to the variety of parenting styles if a guide even did exist.
I have 2 almost three year old’s and expecting another baby in a few months and I still do not have it figured out. Truth be told, I don’t believe I ever will. However, that does not bother me because I can appreciate that parenting is a journey full of never ending lessons. Some harder then others. I hear teenage years are the hardest.
Before I became a parent I will admit I imagined it being nothing but easy and well, fun. Full of cute and happy moments. I never once thought about the struggles that come along with welcoming a child into your life.
I just thought about how I would be the ‘best mommy ever’. I am definitely not the best mommy ever FYI
I could not wait to be a mother. It was definitely a dream of mine and a calling I felt an eagerness to fulfill at a very young age. I had my first baby at 26, and I finally felt like this prayer of mine was answered.
When I became a parent, it was better then I ever imagined it to be. It was also way harder then I ever thought. I’m talking way harder. I think the way harder really set in when my husband and I received a second baby by surprise. We were completely caught off guard.
(we received our second baby when our first was 10 months old, to read about that story you can search ‘A Blessing In Disguise’)
When you become a parent, you see things differently. You don’t just see things differently but you have a completely different awareness and understanding.
You look at your parents differently…….in good and bad lighting. Your friends who have had kids for a couple of years now? You feel sorry, because you just didn’t know what they were going through. You can even connect now with strangers almost everywhere you go that are holding a little hand.
You empathize with parents because you know it’s the most amazing and yet hardest privilege.
As a parent you want to do your best for your child. But it’s hard. There are many days where you feel like a complete failure. You also blame yourself for a lot of things that are really out of your control.
We never want to hurt them.
But truth be told, we are going to leave emotional scars on our children.
Now, that’s a real tough pill to swallow especially because we are continuously trying to be the best that we can be.
We do our best to give what we didn’t receive. To be, what are parents were not. To do, what are parent’s didn’t do. As well as, try not to do, what are parents did.
We do our best. But what we think is best, is not always the best and can impact our child in ways we can’t even imagine. Which is a little frightening when you really sit and think about it.
It’s a lot of pressure! We are shaping a life or lives! And one can only hope and pray that the wounds we cause aren’t too severe.
I don’t know what type of scar I am going to leave but I know I will leave one. It may be something I say, something I do, something I choose, something I don’t do…..who knows. But there will be a time, when my child will feel let down by me.
My child is never going to forget it. And neither will yours.
And you may never know what emotional scar you left unless your child has the courage to tell you.
Just about everyone suffers from some type of ‘childhood trauma’. From mild trauma to severe.
You had a parent that always put you down, you had a parent that you felt betrayed you in some way, you had a parent that hit you, you had a parent that suffered from substance abuse, you had a parent that was never honest, you had a parent that was never there, you had a parent that favored your other siblings, you had a parent that didn’t choose you, you had a parent that didn’t believe you, your parent had a temper, your parent embarrassed you, etc……
We all have something that is THERE.
Something that left us confused, upset, concerned, worried, scared, alone, numb…something.
I can tell you, causing you pain was never their intention. Maybe there were other things going on in their life, maybe they were afraid, maybe they thought they were doing a good thing for you…..you know, you just don’t know what was going on in their head at the time. OR…..you don’t really know the results of their ‘childhood trauma’ and how it impacted and shaped their behaviors. Who knows….
(note: If your child is grown, you’re right, you can’t change the past. But you can tell them sorry. That will provide more relief then you know.)
When I look at my daughters I can only pray the scars I leave aren’t too severe. And I hope they will be comfortable enough to tell me when I have hurt their feelings or possibly done something they wish I hadn’t.
I think to myself…..what am I going to do, one day, where I am going to let you down. Even Nemo in the Kids movie ‘Finding Nemo’ said I hate you to his dad, do you remember?
My heart breaks knowing that I won’t be a perfect mom where they will grow up and say their childhood was perfect. It’s unrealistic. That’s not going to happen. I will make mistakes. I know I will, because I already do make mistakes, feel guilt, and have regrets.
It’s something inevitable, it’s going to happen.
Can you think of anything that your parent said to you or did that you have never forgot? Whether it’s big or small you remember exactly how it made you feel.
I have 3 things I will say to my children often that I hope will always bind us together and strengthen our relationships as years come and go.
I hope by saying these things often my children will have peace of mind and not be severely impacted and haunted for years to come by my actions or words that I have no idea will influence my child in the future.
They are below.
I LOVE YOU
I want to make sure I am saying this as much as possible to each child of mine. I hope my child never questions how much love I have for them. It’s not enough to just say it, but telling them why I love them. Expressing to them the joy they bring into my life. Sharing lessons they have taught me. WE know we love our children, but sometimes they don’t hear it enough or feel it enough. They need to hear it and feel it.
I AM PROUD OF YOU
I don’t want to just say those words after they accomplish something like a good grade on a test or a tournament won. I want to say these words just because. I don’t want my children to think they always have to impress me or accomplish something grand to hear these words. I will be proud of them everyday and I want them to know how proud I am to be their Mother.
I AM SORRY
This is a huge one. Being a parent, it’s hard to admit our faults. Especially, to our children. We don’t want to admit that we made a mistake or take ownership for something that we have done, because honestly…..sometimes we think we are in the right. WE think we are, but from a child’s perspective it’s completely different.
A child isn’t expecting an apology from their parent, but sometimes they need to hear it to move forward and let that burden go. I plan on saying sorry often. Sorry if I hurt their feelings, sorry if I couldn’t make their soccer game, sorry for saying NO, sorry for not being cool enough, just sorry. I will always be sorry any time I have upset them but I hope one day they will realize why I did the things I did, why I didn’t do the things they wanted and why I am who I am. I know there will be times that they need to hear this from me, and my hope is they can always forgive me
I know I will never be the best, but I will never give up trying to be the best that I can be.
Parenting is hard…..but it’s also the best gift in the world. A true gift from God and a blessing.
“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.”
I have always enjoyed writing. Not always anything specific, but just simply writing. It’s very therapeutic and relieving for me. I have tons of notebooks laying around with the most random things written in them as we speak. I get a good chuckle here and there when I rummage through and read them, and other times, lets just say I find myself blushing from embarrassment. What would my husband or kids think if they read this right now….lol oh gosh.
Something I really, really, REALLY, regret doing is throwing away my teen journals. I was so taken back, a lot of the things I wrote were very personal and not the fondest memories when I would re-read my entries. They brought back pain or humiliation that I didn’t want to re-experience every time I re-read them. So like a dummy, I threw them away.
However, now that I am older and more “mature” I would really love to go back and re read what I was feeling in those days and compare to where I am now in my life.
But unfortunately those journals are long gone. It truly breaks my heart, but the lesson I learned in that is don’t throw away your writings. No matter what pain or grief some of your writings may bring, don’t toss them.
Your writings are your own little time capsule and it’s a great way to reflect on how far you’ve come. You may even learn a thing or two from well, YOURSELF.
With all that being said, a couple of days ago I was exploring all the notes I had stored in my phone. When something comes to mind I like to write it down so I don’t forget.
I stumbled across a list of my own lines that are ‘life advice’ related that I feel like sharing. After reading my ‘life advice’ I was wondering what the hell I was reading at that moment of writing these lol. They surprised me a little.
I consider myself pretty silly, but sometimes I can get pretty deep.
These are a few of my own little life lessons that I have learned through my own experiences. Maybe you can relate or you can apply my words into your life somehow.
Wishing you happiness and many blessings
Some life advice by yours truly
You can’t unscramble an egg once it’s been scrambled. But you know what you can do…..throw it into a burrito with some potatoes and cheese.
You are going to make mistakes in your life. Mistakes and failures are inevitable. But that’s part of living. I’m sure you can think of a thing or two you wish you could take back but you can’t go back and hit any type of rewind button. However, you can control your reaction to the matter and how you plan on handling it. Think before you act, and hear the words in your head before you speak are to name a few. Remember, you can’t unscramble an egg once it’s been scrambled. But again, just because it’s scrambled now doesn’t mean you cant make a bad situation a good situation.
Don’t let every decision be like picking a paint color.
First of all, have you ever picked paint colors? It’s a little bit of nightmare, especially when trying to agree on colors with your significant other.
Don’t allow little simple decisions in your life to cause you any type of stress or anxiety. Whatever you pick may not be what you wanted, but be open to surprises and open to embracing something new. And always be confident in whatever you choose. It may not be what you thought…it may be better.
If you were granted a new life you would soon realize it’s not at all what you really wanted.
You are exactly where you need to be. Everything that has happened in your life thus far has been apart of the shaping of where you are now and will continue to shape you through the rest of your life. You would be surprised how much would be taken away in your life right now if you were to have a different life. A different path taken in the past wouldn’t lead you to where you are now. Look for the things in your life right now to be grateful for. And if you’re wishing for a new life, you’re spending too much time comparing your life to someone else’s. Especially…..ESPECIALLY someone on social media.
Plan on things not going according to plan.
Isn’t this how the cookie always crumbles? It’s usually in your favor or against your favor. It ends up going better then planned or maybe worse. Accept that that is just how it is and laugh at it. Continue to make plans in life and don’t ever stop but if something changes along the way welcome the surprise whether it be good or bad. Whatever happened or happens, has a reason…..whether you know the result of it or not.
Your heart will always lead you in the right direction. It’s up to you to listen to it.
Our hearts are often ignored. We humans are very fragile, easily manipulated, and very persuasive. Whatever is going on in your life should always be reevaluated from time to time. Our lives get so busy it’s important to pause, take a step back, and recognize where you are. Are you where you want to be…what is it that you truly want in this life.
Allow yourself some alone time with no distractions and listen to what your heart is telling you. You may not be happy with what is saying. No one else knows what your heart is saying but YOU. You are also the only one that can obey it. Whether you listen or not, it has a voice for a reason.
But how does it make you feel?
This is a question to ask yourself often. This question can be asked with almost every little thing that you do. If whatever it is, is making you angry, sad, hurt, bored, frustrated, etc. anything negative basically…it’s time to figure it out. Those types of things in life that aren’t providing happiness and joy are only going to hold you back from reaching even more happiness and joy in your life. Doesn’t necessarily mean you need to “let it all go” but it’s time to look for a solution to change that feeling. It is possible to turn the most dull tasks into pleasant ones. Get creative and open your heart and mind to inspiration.
Scars are medals of obstacles conquered.
We are often ashamed of our scars. Doing our best to hide them so no one knows the truth. For some, the cut has been so deep they have a difficult time even acknowledging it’s existence.
Be proud of your scars. Your scars tell a story that no one else can. A scar is also something no one else can take away from you. It is yours and you should be owning it. Don’t be afraid or feel a need to hide your scars. Inspire others with your story. You are strong and courageous. You are still here.
Cry with your wounds, for one day the sun shall shine bright again.
Hard things are going to happen in your life. Really hard things. Hard things that leave you gasping for air and leave you feeling alone and confused. When those things happen, cry with your wounds and broken heart. Let your tears fall and feel all those emotions that are ripping through your soul.
Through this horrific rainstorm remember the promise of the rainbow. The sun will shine bright again, it will. Even when it feels like it never ever will. The sun will shine bright again.
Always say thank you, ALWAYS.
First of all, it’s just good manners to say thank you. Second, nobody owes you anything. I know that sounds a little harsh, but no one owes you anything in this life. Everything is earned and worked for.
People do nice things because they want to, not because they have to. Saying thank you often will take you farther then someone who does not appreciate nice gestures.
You always have enough to give.
Whether it be your time, your energy, or even your last dollar…..you will always have enough to serve another person. You get what you give. Plus, it’s proven that giving to others provides more happiness in your life.
There is more then one right way to do something. Be confident in YOUR WAY.
We don’t live in a black and white world. We live in a world that is full and colorful. No one in the world is you, and no one can do things like YOU do. Rather then trying to follow the crowd, discover your own way and be confident in your own direction or method. Be willing to share that way with others. But encourage others your way isn’t the only way. Help others find THEIR way. The destination may be the same, but the path doesn’t have to be. Find the path that matches YOUR needs.
You don’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.
Things happen in life that are unpredictable.
These types of incidents are a blessing in disguise. You may realize it sooner or you may realize it ten years later. Maybe even later. Be grateful when you can recognize it.
We are always provided the tools we need to help us and guide us in this life. May not come in the prettiest wrapping but all things are gifts. Some things have to happen in order for other things to happen. Please remember, that God loves you. He can see the whole picture, we can’t. Trust him.
I would love to hear from! Share your growth!
Do you have any life advice to share or maybe something someone told you that you never forgot!
Please comment with any thoughts or concerns! Have a great day! Thank you for stopping by!
When your child is doing exceptional in school or decides to do their chores without being told you reward them and you rave about it.
When your stubborn, little toddler finally goes potty all by themselves, you praise them, sing hallelujah, and you have a happy dance party, right?
When your husband actually listens and does what you ask him to do for once he gets lucky (wink, wink) and, you REMEMBER this moment. #isthisreallife
When your best friend surprises you and pays the tab for the drinks you acknowledge them, and you pay the tab on the next go around.
When your coworker covers your shift so you can attend a family event, you recognize them with their favorite coffee or a thank you card. At least I hope you do.
Are we sensing a pattern here yet?
Whenever someone does good, we remember, acknowledge, and we give love. We celebrate!
There is someone in your life that has been neglected for quite some time. This person definitely deserves some praise and acknowledgement.
WITHOUT DOUBT, this person has earned their right to treat and celebrate themselves, damn it!
This person is hardworking, dedicated, and constantly putting others needs, happiness, and demands above their own.
If you haven’t figured it out, that person is you! YES, YOU! I am talking to you!
It’s time to celebrate YOU! It’s time to give a little back to yourself! It’s time to enjoy oneself as they say!
You put up with, and have put up with, a lot of shit. You know it, and I know it. Even your pets probably know it. They do don’t they…..
Your needs are just as important, your hard work needs to be acknowledged, and you need to be doing good for yourself because like I mentioned previously, you’ve earned it! And I’m reminding you!
TIME TO PAINT THE TOWN RED FRIEND!
Before we do so, let’s do a toast:
To celebrating the miracle that you are.
To giving thanks to all the things and people that have served you.
To recognizing that everything about you is precious and unique.
To acknowledging and accepting that there is no one else like you, and that this is a beautiful thing.
And to always enjoy all of life’s offerings.
Babe, it’s time to Celebrate You. CHEERS.
It’s time to stop putting your needs and wants to the side, and it’s time to stop acting like what you do everyday is not extraordinary.
Every day, is a miraculous day if you are still breathing.
Reward yourself, treat yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself.
Celebrating you from time to time is only going to benefit you and those around you. The better mood you’re in, the better you will be to everyone else. That’s kind of common sense, right? Yet, here most of us are, putting ourselves last and not acknowledging all the amazing things we have done so far in our lives!
You’re not being selish. Don’t think that. You are taking care of you, and you are realizing that you are important too.
HOW DO I START CELEBRATING MYSELF? (It’s been that long or I’ve never really done that)
First, stop being so hard on yourself and thinking you’re undeserving of a few favors now and then. You are here and living, that alone deserves some recognition and appreciation.
Second, don’t always expect others or wait for others to treat you or celebrate your accomplishments (big or small). It is not up to other people to make you happy. Recognize the hard work that YOU have done and reward and celebrate yourself.
Third, think back to your childhood and write down what you really enjoyed doing when you were young. Begin to incorporate those things back into your life. Guard your time to do what you enjoy. That is treating yourself.
You will be happier. And aren’t we all striving for this?
It will open new doors for you, a happier you will benefit all the relationships in your life, you will become more productive, and you’ll want to help others see the value in themselves.
You will be able to help others recognize that they are important and worthy of celebrating themselves.
You will reap the benefits of guarding your time to celebrate, you. In taking the time to celebrate you and recognizing your blessings, you will be blessing others.
Maybe you celebrate yourself all the time. If you do, that is fantastic! Continue doing it and don’t ever stop! If you are not in this position, you may know someone who needs to hear this. Let them know they are deserving and encourage them to do great things for themselves.
Some people just need a little word of encouragement to get them doing what they enjoy doing again. In some way, you should be celebrating YOU everyday.
Treat yourself, take care of yourself, celebrate yourself, love yourself.
AND If you needed a sign to do something nice for yourself, let this be your sign!!
With all this being said, don’t be so hard on yourself. Have an amazing day and go give YOU some lovin’.
Not too long ago I had some type of weird pressure, heavy feeling, located on my C-section scar. So of course like most people I turned to google and found many other women who experienced the same sensation with their scar.
Some said they felt the pressure a couple of days before their menstrual cycle, some said it’s normal and never goes away, and a few said to get it checked out.
After reading a few responses I just sat there dumbfounded, and began to think about the hardships of being a women. Or, the inconveniences some may say.
I looked at my husband and said, “You know what, sometimes it’s hard being a woman.”
He kind of laughed at my random comment and said something a long lines of, “do you want to be a man then?”
When I said that to him I just started thinking about the difficulties of being female and then I thought about my daughters. I thought about what they will experience and what they will go through as they get older in life….I pray, I just pray.
I’m not complaining just so you know, I really enjoy being a woman. I believe there are many great upsides to being a female. Although, I can’t help but wonder if I was a guy for a year if I’d still enjoy being a female. I don’t know. But I do know that it’s different world for us.
And hey, men can argue it’s a different world for them too. Which in some ways it is I’m sure. I may do a google search on this later on a mans perspective. I’m a little intrigued now.
I asked my nephews once if they would ever want to be female and they all responded with a strait up NO. I asked why and their response was “I don’t know”. One of them did say because I don’t want to give birth (hahah).
Lol yeah, I can understand the fear of that. However given birth I also know it’s an experience that can’t really be described.
But as I was saying it’s a completely different world for us if you ask me. To some it’s VERY DIFFERENT. Every woman has her own story.
Here are a just 5 reasons why I believe it’s different for us (Not saying there isn’t more but this what I came up with at the moment)
We Are Constantly Judged And Compared
We are constantly judged on pretty much everything that we do, that most of the time we aren’t even ourselves. Pretty sad. We are competing with another person and in reality, they are competing with someone else. We are trying to be what others want or what we THINK they want.
We are judged on our appearance, what we wear, who are friends are, who are family is, what we say, what we do, etc. Believe it or not, this starts when we are children! Although we aren’t just judged by others, with all of this judging and comparing we begin to fall into this black hole that results in us comparing and judging ourselves. Where as we should always be loving ourselves. But unfortunately that’s not something that is really taught.
2. We Live In Some Type of Weird Comfortable Fear
We know we can’t walk the streets at night by ourselves, we know we can’t meet a new guy somewhere isolated, we prefer females doctors over males, we are careful not to expose too much, we hold our keys between our fingers or carry pepper spray when walking to our car at night, we know to be careful with our drinks at a party, and so on.
We know these things because we are aware of the possible outcomes if we don’t follow these ‘principles’. A little ridiculous to call these principles but we know if we follow these tips they will less likely lead us into harm.
We are seen as easy targets, vulnerable, weak…..and we have to be careful. Being female we know this is how it is and that we have to be completely cautious. Being alert just becomes a way of life.
3. We feel ALL THE FEELS aka We Welcome Our Emotions Differently
As a women I feel, we feel so deeply. We are so in tune with our emotions and expressing ourselves……that it’s exhausting. It almost feels like the rest of the world doesn’t understand. Except other women HA. We are incredibly sensitive creatures with so much to say. We are constantly thinking and just wanting to feel loved and appreciated. We are also incredibly empathetic which I feel takes a toll on us sometimes because we just feel the pain and suffering of others that it just resonates with us.
We are such emotional, and we are known for that. It just who we are. And sometimes, we just feel so much we don’t even know what to do with all these feelings.
Well, as I mentioned we are constantly judged on the way our bodies look. Boob size, butt size, flat tummy, blah blah blah……..a few things many women are insecure about.
I wonder why…
But its not just insecurity. Our bodies remind us once a month that we are women.
Cramps, PMS, tampons, pads, these cycles aren’t exactly convenient for us.
Remember I mentioned childbirth previously? It really is an amazing, indescribable experience. But pregnancy and birth do a number on your body.
The woman’s body is….something very unique and I feel it should be cherished more. No matter what it looks like or has gone through.
5. Half The Time, We Aren’t Taken Seriously
It’s when we use a certain tone or stance and THEN people stop what they are doing and listen or pay attention. But what’s so aggravating about that is we have to use that “certain tone” or whatever to get noticed or heard.
After a while we get sick of playing nice. We don’t want to do things the hard way or “mean way”, we don’t want to “unleash the beast’ but as a woman, its almost always this way if we want to make or see a change in something. It’s effing annoying.
So yes, this is why I feel it’s a different world for us, however let me share some positive sides to these differences.
Yes, we are always judged but when you learn to love yourself as a women…..it is the most liberating and powerful thing. You become unstoppable and fearless.
We do live in a world where we have to be cautious and careful but I also feel because of this we get to experience more acts of kindness which makes us even BETTER WOMEN. We get our doors opened for us, we get to go first, we receive help when needed, etc…….BECAUSE WE ARE WOMEN.
We do feel so deeply, but I think most women will agree that feeling so deeply is such a privilege. Yeah, feeling hurt and heartache sucks. But feeling love and joy is so amazing. We give all of our heart to things that matter to us and love like no other. That is something very special about us.
It’s pretty normal that we feel insecure about our bodies. But it’s when we finally learn to love this amazing tool that GOD gave us that we gain this type of confidence. And its a beautiful thing that nobody can ever take away.
It is unfortunate to not be taken seriously when we “talk soft”, or to be taken seriously, THE FIRST TIME. However, we know when we need to roar the ground will shake. It scares people, and we love it. Sometimes we even scare ourselves with our own strength and that’s pretty amazing when that happens. We then become unstoppable.
The other day my daughters and I left the house to run some errands. I always have to mentally prepare myself when I leave the house with my two toddlers because they are ticking time bombs! They scream and cry really loud when they don’t get what they want or, when they get hurt. It attracts attention that I don’t necessarily want or enjoy. Of course my toddlers don’t care, why would they? I envy how oblivious they are sometimes. Or maybe, I’m just jealous how unconcerned they are with other peoples opinions or reactions.
Referring back, we had some errand running to do. One place we had to stop by was Walmart. We pull up to Walmart, park, and I unload each little one. Holding each one in each hand.
As we are approaching the store one of my daughters looks behind us and shouts really loud, “HI!” and then waves her little hand.
She was waving to a little old man walking by himself into the store.
The little old man catches up to us and he asks, “How old is she?” I reply, “She’s two.”
He then says, “She just looked at me and waved hello, what a difference it would be if more people were like that.” And then he continues to walk ahead of us, and doesn’t say anything else.
In that moment I did imagine if more people were like that. More ‘childlike’. What a different place this would be.
Children can teach us many things. They are just having fun, and little do they know, they are providing great life lessons and encouraging us to live more freely.
I love children, partly because they are so blunt and honest. They say it like it is and they don’t hold back. They also do what they want, fight for what they want, and are always so determined in whatever they are doing. When you really think about it, it’s admirable.
How many times have you held yourself back, from doing something, that you wanted to do. We always stop, pause, analyze, and over think just about everything. The inner child fades and we become so concerned with irrelevant things.
Here’s a question. How many times have you wanted to act childlike? I can tell you, its definitely been more then once.
I have a small list below of childlike behavior to participate in. Now don’t get confused. Childlike and childish are two different things. I am encouraging childlike characteristics to strengthen and embrace. It may be a little akward and uncomfortable at first. However, most of the qualities below are familiar and not foreign. This is just a different perspective.
9 CHILD LIKE BEHAVIORS TO ENGAGE IN AND STRENGTHEN
Here are a few ways that you can be childlike and start our own ripple effect in people around you. These behaviors are effortless, effective, and a great way to release your inner child.
Give Compliments Whole Heartedly
Lets be real, who doesn’t appreciate a geunine compliment. They make you giddy and joyful. It’s nice to hear something positive about ourselves since most of time we are putting ourselves down. Some of the best compliments come from complete strangers! Be one of those strangers that makes someone’s day!
Children give compliments all the time. They like your hair, they say it. They like your shoes, they say it. They like your cooking, they say. If they like something, they let others know.
Too often we will see something or notice something, think a nice thought in our head, and then never express it. We are constantly thinking compliments in our head but never sharing with the person, place, or thing that needs to hear them. Why is that?
Just say it, type it, or give it. Give compliments freely and do it often. Tell people what you like and appreciate about them!
Become Comfortable Sharing Your Stories
If it’s relevant or relatable share it, heck, just share it anyway! We all have stories and plenty of them. Our experiences, our stories, our journey is what shapes us into who we are. By sharing something personal about yourself or something that you have gone through can really help another person. You just never know because most people don’t voice their stories.
Be different. Be childlike. Share all your stories with those that need to hear them. Believe it or not but people are interested in what you have gone through in your life so far. How many times have you said to someone you knew, “I didn’t know that, how come you never told me that?” Ask! Talk to those around you and learn their stories.
Your story can provide comfort, reassurance, and an overall awareness.
Children are always sharing random stories. You don’t always understand them but you feel appreciated and valued that they are sharing them with you. When someone shares a story with you its because they trust you. Pay attention to who’s sharing their stories, with you.
Stop Being So Concerned With What Others Think
Easy enough, right? WRONG, I know. Many of us struggle with our image and how we appear to others. We want to fit in, be liked, blend. But where has that got anyone. Most of us are fully comfortable around a trusted set of individuals. Typically family or a few close friends. You are your complete self with them and they accept you for who you are. Yet, we care more about the other peoples thoughts and opinions. The people that aren’t close to us or really even know us. It doesn’t make sense.
Children are ALWAYS themselves, no matter who they are around. They want to dance in the middle of the store to no music THEY DO IT. They feel like screaming because they are excited, THEY DO IT. There clothes don’t match and they look like a bum, THEY DON’T CARE! All children has such unique personalities and what they have in common is they don’t care what others think. They are themselves.
Learn to be yourself and love who you are.
Do It Yourself. If You Don’t Know How, LEARN.
Most of us wait, we wait and wait and wait. We are under the illusion that things will just come to us and we don’t have to work for it. We put ourselves on a pedestal and think the world is the problem, not us.
Stop waiting. Stop waiting around for things to happen, for people to change, for opportunities to come seizing, etc. You will be waiting for a very long time if you think that’s how things should work. There is never going to be a perfect time. There is never going to be a perfect opportunity. And sometimes, sometimes, you just have to be the bigger person. If you want something done right, as you know you gotta do it yourself.
If there is something that you have been eagerly wanting to do but just can’t figure it out. Don’t just give up, learn or find some way to figure it out. Problem solve!
Children are always eager to do things by themselves. They will discover all sorts of new ways to do things that you never even thought of. I previously mentioned, learn to problem solve. Children are amazing problem solvers! Talk about determination. They will figure out how to get what they want, EVEN IF you take away some of their tools. Yes, they do ask for help at times, but once they figure it out, they won’t ask again. They strive and yearn for independence. That’s praiseworthy.
Express Your Feelings, Don’t Hide From Them
For whatever reason, we typically bottle up our feelings. We don’t want to offend anyone, we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, we don’t want to be looked at differently….etc, etc. You get the idea, because you know there’s truth to that.
I’m telling you to stop doing that, and let your feelings free roam. Bottling them up doesn’t do anything good, for you, or the person/persons that take the hit of the bottle of repressed feelings. Acknowledge how you are feeling. Feel, the feels. If you’re happy let the world know! If you are mad, address what made you mad. If you are sad, reach out to a trusted person.
Children express their emotions openly and freely. They don’t even know how they are feeling but they feel it! The young especially don’t even know what happy or mad is but you do and you see them express it without holding anything back.
Let yourself feel and express it. People are not mind readers. You can’t expect anyone to know how you feel if you don’t communicate it.
Try New Things For Your Benefit And Theirs
We are so comfortable. Most of us are in some type of trance or autopilot where we typically never step outside the box. Why? Because we have a routine. We know the outcome, we settle, we’re lazy, or we’re scared; to put it point blank.
Get out of your comfort zone. As you’ve probably heard before; become comfortable being uncomfortable. Try new things! If an opportunity arises to do something out of your norm, take advantage of it! Why not! Give yourself a challenge and welcome failure.
How many times do we tell a child, “Just try it,” or “it will be fun, you’ll love it.” And many more things we tell our children to try new things. We are always encouraging or pushing them to step outside their limits. Yet, we are so set in our ways and not willing to try anything new.
Children are eager to try new things and get their hands dirty. They are curious and always welcoming new engagements or activities. New things excite them! They dont even know if they will like it or not but they go for it anyway! If they fall they get back up! If they don’t like it, that’s fine. They will always get credit for trying.
Learn To Forgive Easily And Move on.
Oh man. How many times have we let such minor things get the best of us. We get upset, we overreact, and sometimes we hold a grudge for days, months, even YEARS! When we sit down and actually dissect the issue, we discover the issue is so small and not worth all the negative energy. It’s hard for us to let things go sometimes. However, the bitterness we carry solves nothing. The only person it hurts is us.
Children don’t hold grudges. They may be upset for a little bit but they are very quick to forgive and move forward. I have had times with my own children where I have yelled at them. I feel so awful afterwards. I apologize for yelling and ask for a hug and a kiss. They give me those hugs and kisses and then proceed like nothing happened. Imagine if we were that forgiving.
We all make mistakes. We are not perfect. We are human. Disappointing others is inevitable. People will continue to fail us and we will fail others. It’s going happen, whether it be big or small. Although, we can choose how to behave. Be childlike when it comes to forgiving and forgive willingly.
Be Empathetic With Everyone and Everything
Put yourself in their shoes. Have you heard that before, or maybe something similar. We can never fully understand what someone is going through or feeling unless we are in their shoes or a similar situation. Until then, we can empathize and strengthen our ability to understand.
Children are extremely empathetic. With everything! People, objects, animals, I mean EVERYTHING. They are so in tune with the feelings of others, its truly amazing. They recognize emotions through their favorite movies, books, other children they see out and about, even some of their toys they are empathetic with. Pay attention to them.
While most of us adults over here are quick to judge, shake our heads, question and mostly we ignore. It becomes abnormal if we can’t understand it. We won’t understand everything that people do, say, etc. Put if we place ourselves in theirs shoes, and analyze the situation we may gain a whole new perspective and things become more clear. We began to empathize.
Be childlike and feel for others. It’s as simple as that. Do your best to understand others.
This one doesn’t need much explaining. Just love and be amazed with all things. Love like a child.
Children love with everything that they have.
In a nutshell here is a recap of 9 childlike qualities to strengthen
Give Compliments Whole Heartedly
Become Comfortable Sharing Your Stories
Stop Being So Concerned With What Others Think
Do it Yourself. If you don’t know how, Learn
Express Your Feelings, Don’t Hide From Them
Try New Things For Your Benefit and Theirs
Learn To Forgive Easily And Move
Be Empathetic With Everyone
Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this post and are able to apply these behaviors and traits into your daily life!
Now go do something fun for yourself! You deserve it!
Please share any thoughts, comments, or something a child has taught you! I’d love to hear it!
“You Can Be Childlike Without Being Childish. A Child Always Wants To Have Fun. Ask Yourself, ‘Am I Having Fun?’ “