When Your Kids Are Distracting You And Your Spouse From Spending Quality Time Together

Remember how much freedom you and your spouse had before you had kids? Sleeping in together, staying out late, going wherever and whenever you wanted, you can recall I’m sure. Now your schedules are almost entirely planned around your kids. And you notice how you’re always busy now? It’s crazy right.

Having kids completely changes your lifestyle and it changes your relationship with your significant other.

You will face many challenges together with raising children. In this post I am only going to discuss one challenge and share with you what has worked for my husband and myself.

The Challenge:

Distracting you and your spouse from spending quality time together.

When you have kids, it can be a little challenging to maintain that one on one time with your spouse. With dates and intimacy.

It’s so important to keep your relationship thriving even when you have children. Let this be an opportunity to get creative and step outside your box.

My husband and I love our daughters so much. They are our world. However we do have moments where we reminisce about how spontaneous we were in the past and how completely oblivious we were to our freedom.

It’s amazing how you don’t really recognize how much freedom you have until a child enters your life.

Something we both have learned with having kids is time together has to be planned and scheduled.

Of course that’s not how it is all the time, but I would say a majority of time if we want to be alone it has to be planned in advance.

Just because you and your spouse have kids now doesn’t mean the love needs to be let go. Your relationship still needs to be a priority. And yes, it will take more work then what it did in the past.

I’m sure some of you are thinking, well I don’t have a baby sitter, or our schedules are so different, or possibly, I try but he isn’t willing, etc,

As I mentioned previously, this is an opportunity to get creative.

If you can’t get a babysitter or don’t feel comfortable leaving your children yet don’t sweat it. That was exactly how my husband and I were. We would have “at home dates” and still do! I would have our girls skip nap time so they would go to sleep early so we could spend time together, just me and him.

(As I said, we still do this. Some of the evenings of just eating ice cream together or watching something on TV take me and him back to the old days.)

When your schedules are different you need to take advantage of every moment together.

For example: You two only have mornings together. Maybe share coffee together and do a question of the day about one another. Remember, step outside the box.

(Note: Stay off your phones when you two are together. How many times have you witnessed a couple out together and they are both on their phones. Talk, listen, hold hands, BE PRESENT.)

Both of you need to be willing to try new things. If one of you is trying and one of you isn’t, there may be a deeper issue that needs to be resolved.

In that case, I might suggest help from a professional.

Discuss Your Relationship.

You two need to be on the same page and open to embracing this new chapter in your relationship. You won’t have to be so creative forever or plan every moment together forever. Your children are going to grow up.

But are you both happy right now? Have you sensed that you two are drifting apart or something just feels different. More then likely both of you aren’t getting enough attention from one another.

If these emotions have occurred this is your relationship craving some immediate attention. If you’re reading this there’s good possibility you’re in this situation.

In a nutshell I am saying, TAKE ACTION. Don’t allow your children to be the excuse anymore. 


Here Are A Few Moments To Always Take Advantage Of:

  • Bed time
  • Nap time
  • When they are on a play date or at a friends or with family
  • When they are glued to a game or YouTube
  • A Family Gathering
  • A birthday party
  • When they fall asleep in the car
  • In the morning before they wake up
  • When they head to school

…you get the idea.

These are all opportunities where you two can discuss something, plan something, do something, etc. Both kids fell asleep in the car? Go get something in the drive-thru, pull over, and enjoy it together. Kids are sleeping? uh, HELLO! Have some private time. At a gathering of some sort? There’s enough adults watching the kids, get playful. You can still be spontaneous, it will just be in a different way.

Also, it’s definitely more then OK to put other things on pause to give your spouse the attention they deserve and need.

Keep the sizzle and have fun. You’ll be laughing about these moments in the future and sharing them with your children.

A book I would highly recommend to strengthen your relationship with your spouse is titled The 5 Languages Of Love by Gary Chapman.

I definitely recommend this book even if your relationship is thriving right now! It’s an amazing eye opener and will bring you two even closer.

What works for you and your spouse, I’d love to hear it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9 Grocery Shopping Tips, For A Stress-Free Trip Every time

Every week or every other week most of us will find ourselves at the grocery store. We are either shopping for ourselves, our family, maybe a family gathering coming up, a pot luck, a birthday party….the list goes on.

We have to eat and let’s be real, grocery stores are incredibly convenient! How fortunate are we to have a store that supply’s our food, and does the hard work for us! Huge thank you to the farmers and businesses out there that make providing meals to my family easy and simple! We appreciate you!

But, to be completely honest, grocery shopping isn’t exactly my favorite task to do. I tend to overspend, buy unnecessary items, having crying or antsy toddlers with me, and it usually makes a miserable shopping trip. Which is why I would typically cringe when it was time to make my way to the store.

However I have since then “gained experience” and have figured out ways to have a pleasant trip every time whether I am by myself or with my kids. As well as save money and leave feeling satisfied after every check out.

Below I have 9 tips that will provide ease for your grocery shopping trips and make it stress-free every time. 

 


  1. MAKE A GROCERY LIST…stick to it and don’t forget it!

This kind of seems like a no brainer but many people don’t make a list before they shop. I use to be one, I’ll admit it. My very organized husband got me into the habit of making a list every time and for that I am so grateful!

Many eye their fridge and cabinets and assume they will remember everything they need. Unfortunately, it’s not until they are already home where they realize they forgot the most important stuff. ugh! Talk about the worst! If you are going with your kids a list is crucial! As kids are super distracting when trying to shop for necessary items.

When you make your list try to categorize your items with the different aisles or sections. That way you aren’t running around from one side of the store to another. We’ve all been there, and it’s very frustrating.

tip: Throughout the week keep a pen and paper handy in your kitchen. When you notice you are out of something or in need of something write it down so you don’t forget it on your list. Once this habit is installed you won’t ever forget your list and you will get into the habit of only buying what you need. 

2. Avoid Grocery Shopping On The Weekends

Why would I say avoid grocery shopping on the weekends…because it’s usually busy AF.

If you decide to shop on the weekends you should expect crowds, long lines and bagging your own groceries. Don’t even get me started with bagging my own groceries.

I personally enjoy grocery shopping when it’s less busy and I’m not having to squeeze past people.

tip: If you can only shop on the weekends I suggest going early morning or late evening. It’s so peaceful and there’s barely anyone. My personal favorite.

3. Review The Weekly AD

Let the AD become your grocery shopping companion. You should get the grocery AD once a week in your mailbox. That’s like your grocery shopping jackpot. It tells you what’s on sale, displays items that have digital coupons and more!

Another thing I never took advantage of that my husband got me into. He rocks.

Once we get the AD I review it and circle whatever interests I have in the AD. It’s a great way to save money and who doesn’t like to save money. Every penny counts these days.

tip: Download the APP for your grocery store. Not all coupons are advertised, always check the APP as well for more money saving deals. 

4. Don’t Go To The Grocery Store HUNGRY

Grocery shopping and hunger are just not a good mix as most of us know. I will throw everything in the shopping cart when I am hungry and it’s usually not the healthiest food.

I highly advise avoiding hunger shopping if at all possible. It’s one way to avoid spending more money then you intended.

tip: Eat before you go, and feed your children before you go. If you must, bring a few snacks with you.

5. Get A Rein Check

Have you ever seen a smokin deal and you go to look for the product and its completely gone!! Like what gives!! It happens every once in awhile and when this happens ask for a rein check!

I had never heard of a grocery shopping rein check before. I gotta say, I love employees that inform their shoppers of things they have been missing out on.

When there is a great deal going and you find out they are out of stock you feel like you missed out. However, you don’t have to miss out anymore, just ask for a rein check.

At check out let your cashier know what you need a rein check on and they will provide a small slip that will honor that price for a certain amount of time, so next time you go to the store and see the product, you will still get the sale price! CHA-CHING.

tip: To avoid this mishap go shopping in the morning or find out your grocery stores restock days.

6.  Take The Free Food To Distract Your Kids

You fed your kid or kids and they are still being squirmy. You have to mentally prepare when shopping with your kids. They are like little ticking time bombs. And if you’re lucky, they don’t explode.

I love our grocery store because in the produce department we have a little thing set up for kids that offers free fruit. I didn’t know about this until an actual produce guy walked me over and showed me. It has been a lifesaver in many occasions. Our bakery also gives out free cookies! You have to ask for a cookie, it’s not advertised, but again, lifesaver.  And SOMETIMES there’s even an older man making popcorn for people!

All you have to do is ask the employees.

Not all stores do it because of allergies but its worth finding out if your store offers some goodies to keep your children distracted for a bit. And it’s also something for them to look forward to, IF they behave.

tip: If your grocery store doesn’t offer anything like this ALWAYS bring a few snacks OR let them bring a play shopping cart. One of my daughters loves to push around her shopping cart. I put a few items in there and I know she loves that she’s helping. GREAT DISTRACTION.

7. Bring A Shopping Buddy

A shopping buddy is essential for me. I have two toddlers and I just never like to chance it with them. Even before I had kids I would invite friends to shop with me. We would grab a coffee, catch up and shop together. It definitely makes the trip more enjoyable.

My parents help me big time with my shopping trips. It’s a fun way to spend time with their grandkids and they get their shopping done too. It’s a win win.

tip: If you bring a buddy break your list in half. One goes one way, one goes the other and you get out of the store in half the time! Score! Treat them to a happy hour! Or invite them over and make them a meal.

8. Create A Meal Plan For The Week

Meal planning will help you avoid food going to waste. I’m not saying you need to have a meal planned from Monday-Sunday, even I’m not that organized. Although I wish I was…….*sigh*

What I’m saying is review your pantry, fridge, cabinets, lazy susan, etc before you go shopping. Look for the items that have just been sitting there for quite some time, make sure they aren’t expired, and search on pinterest or google for meal ideas for that particular food item.

For example, right now I have bread crumbs that have sitting around for however long, a can of pumpkin, and a bag of beans. So, maybe this week I’ll make a meatloaf, a pumpkin chocolate chip bread, and, bean and cheese burritos.

On my grocery list I’ll add the additional ingredients I need to get to make those specific meals.

Too often we buy items and they just end up sitting there till they expire! What a waste of money! Or they get buried between other items and we completely forget about them! It does happen, but you can avoid this by reviewing your cabinets and meal planning.

Tip: Review your Pantry once a week or every 2 weeks to avoid clutter in your cabinets and fridge. As well as avoiding wasted food. And search on pinterest for meal ideas when you can’t think of anything to make with something specific you have. I absolutely love pinterest for this very reason!

9. Have A Budget In Mind

Have a budget in mind, but allow yourself a little wiggle room in case you go over. There have been times I have been embarrassed to tell my husband how much I have spent in groceries. Partly because I didn’t follow these previous tips.

I would go hungry, I would buy things we already had but I forgot, I wasn’t taking advantage of the deals or coupons that I had, if it looked good or sounded good I would buy it, and overall I just wasn’t being the greatest shopper with what I was buying.

Buy only items you need or will use and start keeping track on the average amount of money you are spending. Whatever items you buy often, (exp. milk, bread, butter, peanut butter, etc.)  stock up when it’s on sale.

Going in with a budget will provide peace of mind and allow you to be more in control and less stressed at check out because you already know how much you will be spending.

tip: On many of the grocery apps it tells you exactly how much an item is. You can make a your grocery list and have a total before you even go. If you need to adjust it, you can do it so it fits your family’s budget before you shop.

 

person carrying basket of vegetables
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

That’s all I have folks. If you have any other tips or tricks for a more pleasant grocery shopping trip please comment! I’d love to hear how it can get better!

 

HAPPY SHOPPING! Wishing you stress free trips every time!