20’s are an absolute blast I will say and a time for some full on growth.
Full of foolish moments that make you smile whenever you think about them. Happy hours, parties, late night shenanigans, plenty of all nighters, summer love, blurry moments, adventure, dancing, and some really fun, stupid times.
A few moments of “what was I thinking?” and, “I still can’t believe I did that” will happen when reminiscing about your 20’s.
Your twenties are kind of the carefree time in your life. At least in the beginning it starts like that.
When I say carefree I mean go with the flow kind of mentality. That things will just work out how they need so. Your thought process is that you have time.
Later you realize that’s not exactly how it works, if you want something it’s going to take work and you have to be willing to put in the work to get what you want. You also realize time doesn’t wait and you don’t get time back.
You don’t really realize how young and naive you are at that age till you are reflecting on the past.
You will be a different person at age 21, 25, and 29 no doubt. A little hard to believe how much changing and evolving happens during this time.
Your 20’s are full of growing and identifying who you are and what you truly want to be. You may move to a different city, make a drastic career change, get into a committed relationship, do things you said you’d never do, and a few setbacks may happen here and there.
Your 20’s are also full of mistakes. Recalling events or actions and feeling completely embarrassed or guilty. Or not taking that leap of faith your initiation was telling you to do.
During these moments you learn to discover the silver lining in all things.
Towards the end of your 20’s you begin to love yourself and you learn how to not let the opinions of others alter who you are. You may become lost, but you also find yourself in a completely different way.
You drift away from friends but gain new ones. Some you cut off completely, some you rekindle with.
You become very close with your family and recognize how often they have been there for you and have supported you.
You may get married and have kids. If it’s not happening to you it will be happening to the people around you. Don’t feel rushed or saddened.
There is a time for everything. One lesson you will learn in your 20’s.
There will also be a few hard moments that will probably happen in your 20’s. Heartbreak and loss. Feelings of wasted time and regret.
Struggles will happen with your relationship, you may experience struggles of trying to start a family, you may struggle with work, you may struggle with debt, you may experience betrayal, you may experience heartbreak, etc.
These are the moments that will shape you the most. You will become more empathic towards others and gain a variety of different perspectives.
A few things you will take with you onto the next decade are:
More confidence and more self assurance
A list of goals you are determined to accomplish
Awareness of how fast life really does go
Words of wisdom from friends, parents, or mentors
The courage to say No to things you really don’t want to do
That things will pass, and life does go on
More knowledge about your physical and mental health and how you need to stay on that
Friendships you’re incredibly thankful for
Advice for your 20s
Embrace everything
Seize opportunities that approach you
Explore and Travel
Learn how to manage your finances
Exercise
Spend time with your parents
Read more
Go On A Solo Trip If You Can
Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s
Pray
If you aren’t happy, don’t wait, do something about it NOW
On to the next adventure. On to the 30’s.
For myself, I am incredibly grateful for where I am and the lessons I have learned.
Being a Mom can be challenging. That’s the truth, and for many different reasons and unique situations.
While Motherhood is absolutely amazing and very humbling, it’s full of struggles, hardship and what many other Mothers would call ‘Mom guilt’.
You really won’t hear too many Mothers going around talking about the struggles they have with parenting, a lot of times we keep our hard times to ourselves.
Why? Because we are ashamed to even have these feelings and emotions. We feel embarrassed and unworthy at times. It’s difficult when these types of moods occur.
I got to a point in this Motherhood journey where I knew I needed to change myself. Some of my actions were definitely uncalled for. How could I expect my little one to control their temper when I could barely control my own.
I found myself constantly complaining and it felt like I was pouring out nothing but negative things. I was loosing my patience on my toddlers. I was crying because of my behavior. I was disappointed in myself. I couldn’t believe some of the things I did and said. I truly felt unrecognizable.
My faith has always been important to me. Even more important and guiding once I became a Mother. I knew at this point where I was that I needed to be put in my place. I needed perspective and I needed an adjustment in my attitude.
When I decided that I needed to do something, a devotional book came to mind. In the past I would watch motivating videos on YouTube in hopes of being inspired or driven in some way. This time, I wanted something tangible and something that I could reference back to when needed.
I also knew a devotional book would strengthen my relationship with God, which is what I really needed. I needed help with Mothering my children because I was tired and burnt out to say the least.
I went onto amazon and I believe I typed in, ‘women’s devotional book’. Trusting God Day By Day: 365 Daily Devotionals by Joyce Meyer was one of the books that showed up in my search.
I choose that specific devotional book because of the numerous great reviews.
Mothers, I want you to try reading a devotional everyday, preferably from a devotional book. I personally suggest a book because more is said then just the devotional itself. Insight is shared, perspective is gained, and the author finds a way to connect you with their words, that you can apply to your every day life.
Try reading a devotional first thing in the morning, if not first thing in the morning then sometime during the day.
(note: When you are reading your devotional have your bible, a journal, and a pen handy. Write down whatever stands out to you, or write down more specifically, what it means to you.)
I would like to share that reading a devotional everyday has truly helped me with my Mothering. I am more patient then I was, I am more empathetic, and I have gained more self control.
A few slips are going to happen. You’re human. However you will get closer and closer to where you want to be. You got this Mama! I am praying for you!
This is the devotional book I am currently reading daily and I am so grateful!
I’m so incredibly thankful for this journey and my beautiful daughters who have brought new colors into my world. Thank you so much for reading. I hope this will bring more peace to you and your family if you choose to try this.
As you have probably heard before parenting does not come with a manual guide, nor will it ever come with a guide because every single parent does parenting differently. There would be no way to accommodate to the variety of parenting styles if a guide even did exist.
I have 2 almost three year old’s and expecting another baby in a few months and I still do not have it figured out. Truth be told, I don’t believe I ever will. However, that does not bother me because I can appreciate that parenting is a journey full of never ending lessons. Some harder then others. I hear teenage years are the hardest.
Before I became a parent I will admit I imagined it being nothing but easy and well, fun. Full of cute and happy moments. I never once thought about the struggles that come along with welcoming a child into your life.
I just thought about how I would be the ‘best mommy ever’. I am definitely not the best mommy ever FYI
I could not wait to be a mother. It was definitely a dream of mine and a calling I felt an eagerness to fulfill at a very young age. I had my first baby at 26, and I finally felt like this prayer of mine was answered.
When I became a parent, it was better then I ever imagined it to be. It was also way harder then I ever thought. I’m talking way harder. I think the way harder really set in when my husband and I received a second baby by surprise. We were completely caught off guard.
(we received our second baby when our first was 10 months old, to read about that story you can search ‘A Blessing In Disguise’)
When you become a parent, you see things differently. You don’t just see things differently but you have a completely different awareness and understanding.
You look at your parents differently…….in good and bad lighting. Your friends who have had kids for a couple of years now? You feel sorry, because you just didn’t know what they were going through. You can even connect now with strangers almost everywhere you go that are holding a little hand.
You empathize with parents because you know it’s the most amazing and yet hardest privilege.
As a parent you want to do your best for your child. But it’s hard. There are many days where you feel like a complete failure. You also blame yourself for a lot of things that are really out of your control.
We never want to hurt them.
But truth be told, we are going to leave emotional scars on our children.
Now, that’s a real tough pill to swallow especially because we are continuously trying to be the best that we can be.
We do our best to give what we didn’t receive. To be, what are parents were not. To do, what are parent’s didn’t do. As well as, try not to do, what are parents did.
We do our best. But what we think is best, is not always the best and can impact our child in ways we can’t even imagine. Which is a little frightening when you really sit and think about it.
It’s a lot of pressure! We are shaping a life or lives! And one can only hope and pray that the wounds we cause aren’t too severe.
I don’t know what type of scar I am going to leave but I know I will leave one. It may be something I say, something I do, something I choose, something I don’t do…..who knows. But there will be a time, when my child will feel let down by me.
My child is never going to forget it. And neither will yours.
And you may never know what emotional scar you left unless your child has the courage to tell you.
Just about everyone suffers from some type of ‘childhood trauma’. From mild trauma to severe.
You had a parent that always put you down, you had a parent that you felt betrayed you in some way, you had a parent that hit you, you had a parent that suffered from substance abuse, you had a parent that was never honest, you had a parent that was never there, you had a parent that favored your other siblings, you had a parent that didn’t choose you, you had a parent that didn’t believe you, your parent had a temper, your parent embarrassed you, etc……
We all have something that is THERE.
Something that left us confused, upset, concerned, worried, scared, alone, numb…something.
I can tell you, causing you pain was never their intention. Maybe there were other things going on in their life, maybe they were afraid, maybe they thought they were doing a good thing for you…..you know, you just don’t know what was going on in their head at the time. OR…..you don’t really know the results of their ‘childhood trauma’ and how it impacted and shaped their behaviors. Who knows….
(note: If your child is grown, you’re right, you can’t change the past. But you can tell them sorry. That will provide more relief then you know.)
When I look at my daughters I can only pray the scars I leave aren’t too severe. And I hope they will be comfortable enough to tell me when I have hurt their feelings or possibly done something they wish I hadn’t.
I think to myself…..what am I going to do, one day, where I am going to let you down. Even Nemo in the Kids movie ‘Finding Nemo’ said I hate you to his dad, do you remember?
My heart breaks knowing that I won’t be a perfect mom where they will grow up and say their childhood was perfect. It’s unrealistic. That’s not going to happen. I will make mistakes. I know I will, because I already do make mistakes, feel guilt, and have regrets.
It’s something inevitable, it’s going to happen.
Can you think of anything that your parent said to you or did that you have never forgot? Whether it’s big or small you remember exactly how it made you feel.
I have 3 things I will say to my children often that I hope will always bind us together and strengthen our relationships as years come and go.
I hope by saying these things often my children will have peace of mind and not be severely impacted and haunted for years to come by my actions or words that I have no idea will influence my child in the future.
They are below.
I LOVE YOU
I want to make sure I am saying this as much as possible to each child of mine. I hope my child never questions how much love I have for them. It’s not enough to just say it, but telling them why I love them. Expressing to them the joy they bring into my life. Sharing lessons they have taught me. WE know we love our children, but sometimes they don’t hear it enough or feel it enough. They need to hear it and feel it.
I AM PROUD OF YOU
I don’t want to just say those words after they accomplish something like a good grade on a test or a tournament won. I want to say these words just because. I don’t want my children to think they always have to impress me or accomplish something grand to hear these words. I will be proud of them everyday and I want them to know how proud I am to be their Mother.
I AM SORRY
This is a huge one. Being a parent, it’s hard to admit our faults. Especially, to our children. We don’t want to admit that we made a mistake or take ownership for something that we have done, because honestly…..sometimes we think we are in the right. WE think we are, but from a child’s perspective it’s completely different.
A child isn’t expecting an apology from their parent, but sometimes they need to hear it to move forward and let that burden go. I plan on saying sorry often. Sorry if I hurt their feelings, sorry if I couldn’t make their soccer game, sorry for saying NO, sorry for not being cool enough, just sorry. I will always be sorry any time I have upset them but I hope one day they will realize why I did the things I did, why I didn’t do the things they wanted and why I am who I am. I know there will be times that they need to hear this from me, and my hope is they can always forgive me
I know I will never be the best, but I will never give up trying to be the best that I can be.
Parenting is hard…..but it’s also the best gift in the world. A true gift from God and a blessing.
“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.”
-Napoleon Hill
I have always enjoyed writing. Not always anything specific, but just simply writing. It’s very therapeutic and relieving for me. I have tons of notebooks laying around with the most random things written in them as we speak. I get a good chuckle here and there when I rummage through and read them, and other times, lets just say I find myself blushing from embarrassment. What would my husband or kids think if they read this right now….lol oh gosh.
Something I really, really, REALLY, regret doing is throwing away my teen journals. I was so taken back, a lot of the things I wrote were very personal and not the fondest memories when I would re-read my entries. They brought back pain or humiliation that I didn’t want to re-experience every time I re-read them. So like a dummy, I threw them away.
However, now that I am older and more “mature” I would really love to go back and re read what I was feeling in those days and compare to where I am now in my life.
But unfortunately those journals are long gone. It truly breaks my heart, but the lesson I learned in that is don’t throw away your writings. No matter what pain or grief some of your writings may bring, don’t toss them.
Your writings are your own little time capsule and it’s a great way to reflect on how far you’ve come. You may even learn a thing or two from well, YOURSELF.
With all that being said, a couple of days ago I was exploring all the notes I had stored in my phone. When something comes to mind I like to write it down so I don’t forget.
I stumbled across a list of my own lines that are ‘life advice’ related that I feel like sharing. After reading my ‘life advice’ I was wondering what the hell I was reading at that moment of writing these lol. They surprised me a little.
I consider myself pretty silly, but sometimes I can get pretty deep.
These are a few of my own little life lessons that I have learned through my own experiences. Maybe you can relate or you can apply my words into your life somehow.
Wishing you happiness and many blessings
Some life advice by yours truly
You can’t unscramble an egg once it’s been scrambled. But you know what you can do…..throw it into a burrito with some potatoes and cheese.
You are going to make mistakes in your life. Mistakes and failures are inevitable. But that’s part of living. I’m sure you can think of a thing or two you wish you could take back but you can’t go back and hit any type of rewind button. However, you can control your reaction to the matter and how you plan on handling it. Think before you act, and hear the words in your head before you speak are to name a few. Remember, you can’t unscramble an egg once it’s been scrambled. But again, just because it’s scrambled now doesn’t mean you cant make a bad situation a good situation.
Don’t let every decision be like picking a paint color.
First of all, have you ever picked paint colors? It’s a little bit of nightmare, especially when trying to agree on colors with your significant other.
Don’t allow little simple decisions in your life to cause you any type of stress or anxiety. Whatever you pick may not be what you wanted, but be open to surprises and open to embracing something new. And always be confident in whatever you choose. It may not be what you thought…it may be better.
If you were granted a new life you would soon realize it’s not at all what you really wanted.
You are exactly where you need to be. Everything that has happened in your life thus far has been apart of the shaping of where you are now and will continue to shape you through the rest of your life. You would be surprised how much would be taken away in your life right now if you were to have a different life. A different path taken in the past wouldn’t lead you to where you are now. Look for the things in your life right now to be grateful for. And if you’re wishing for a new life, you’re spending too much time comparing your life to someone else’s. Especially…..ESPECIALLY someone on social media.
Plan on things not going according to plan.
Isn’t this how the cookie always crumbles? It’s usually in your favor or against your favor. It ends up going better then planned or maybe worse. Accept that that is just how it is and laugh at it. Continue to make plans in life and don’t ever stop but if something changes along the way welcome the surprise whether it be good or bad. Whatever happened or happens, has a reason…..whether you know the result of it or not.
Your heart will always lead you in the right direction. It’s up to you to listen to it.
Our hearts are often ignored. We humans are very fragile, easily manipulated, and very persuasive. Whatever is going on in your life should always be reevaluated from time to time. Our lives get so busy it’s important to pause, take a step back, and recognize where you are. Are you where you want to be…what is it that you truly want in this life.
Allow yourself some alone time with no distractions and listen to what your heart is telling you. You may not be happy with what is saying. No one else knows what your heart is saying but YOU. You are also the only one that can obey it. Whether you listen or not, it has a voice for a reason.
But how does it make you feel?
This is a question to ask yourself often. This question can be asked with almost every little thing that you do. If whatever it is, is making you angry, sad, hurt, bored, frustrated, etc. anything negative basically…it’s time to figure it out. Those types of things in life that aren’t providing happiness and joy are only going to hold you back from reaching even more happiness and joy in your life. Doesn’t necessarily mean you need to “let it all go” but it’s time to look for a solution to change that feeling. It is possible to turn the most dull tasks into pleasant ones. Get creative and open your heart and mind to inspiration.
Scars are medals of obstacles conquered.
We are often ashamed of our scars. Doing our best to hide them so no one knows the truth. For some, the cut has been so deep they have a difficult time even acknowledging it’s existence.
Be proud of your scars. Your scars tell a story that no one else can. A scar is also something no one else can take away from you. It is yours and you should be owning it. Don’t be afraid or feel a need to hide your scars. Inspire others with your story. You are strong and courageous. You are still here.
Cry with your wounds, for one day the sun shall shine bright again.
Hard things are going to happen in your life. Really hard things. Hard things that leave you gasping for air and leave you feeling alone and confused. When those things happen, cry with your wounds and broken heart. Let your tears fall and feel all those emotions that are ripping through your soul.
Through this horrific rainstorm remember the promise of the rainbow. The sun will shine bright again, it will. Even when it feels like it never ever will. The sun will shine bright again.
Always say thank you, ALWAYS.
First of all, it’s just good manners to say thank you. Second, nobody owes you anything. I know that sounds a little harsh, but no one owes you anything in this life. Everything is earned and worked for.
People do nice things because they want to, not because they have to. Saying thank you often will take you farther then someone who does not appreciate nice gestures.
You always have enough to give.
Whether it be your time, your energy, or even your last dollar…..you will always have enough to serve another person. You get what you give. Plus, it’s proven that giving to others provides more happiness in your life.
There is more then one right way to do something. Be confident in YOUR WAY.
We don’t live in a black and white world. We live in a world that is full and colorful. No one in the world is you, and no one can do things like YOU do. Rather then trying to follow the crowd, discover your own way and be confident in your own direction or method. Be willing to share that way with others. But encourage others your way isn’t the only way. Help others find THEIR way. The destination may be the same, but the path doesn’t have to be. Find the path that matches YOUR needs.
You don’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.
Things happen in life that are unpredictable.
These types of incidents are a blessing in disguise. You may realize it sooner or you may realize it ten years later. Maybe even later. Be grateful when you can recognize it.
We are always provided the tools we need to help us and guide us in this life. May not come in the prettiest wrapping but all things are gifts. Some things have to happen in order for other things to happen. Please remember, that God loves you. He can see the whole picture, we can’t. Trust him.
I would love to hear from! Share your growth!
Do you have any life advice to share or maybe something someone told you that you never forgot!
Please comment with any thoughts or concerns! Have a great day! Thank you for stopping by!
The other day my daughters and I left the house to run some errands. I always have to mentally prepare myself when I leave the house with my two toddlers because they are ticking time bombs! They scream and cry really loud when they don’t get what they want or, when they get hurt. It attracts attention that I don’t necessarily want or enjoy. Of course my toddlers don’t care, why would they? I envy how oblivious they are sometimes. Or maybe, I’m just jealous how unconcerned they are with other peoples opinions or reactions.
Referring back, we had some errand running to do. One place we had to stop by was Walmart. We pull up to Walmart, park, and I unload each little one. Holding each one in each hand.
As we are approaching the store one of my daughters looks behind us and shouts really loud, “HI!” and then waves her little hand.
She was waving to a little old man walking by himself into the store.
The little old man catches up to us and he asks, “How old is she?” I reply, “She’s two.”
He then says, “She just looked at me and waved hello, what a difference it would be if more people were like that.” And then he continues to walk ahead of us, and doesn’t say anything else.
In that moment I did imagine if more people were like that. More ‘childlike’. What a different place this would be.
Children can teach us many things. They are just having fun, and little do they know, they are providing great life lessons and encouraging us to live more freely.
I love children, partly because they are so blunt and honest. They say it like it is and they don’t hold back. They also do what they want, fight for what they want, and are always so determined in whatever they are doing. When you really think about it, it’s admirable.
How many times have you held yourself back, from doing something, that you wanted to do. We always stop, pause, analyze, and over think just about everything. The inner child fades and we become so concerned with irrelevant things.
Here’s a question. How many times have you wanted to act childlike? I can tell you, its definitely been more then once.
I have a small list below of childlike behavior to participate in. Now don’t get confused. Childlike and childish are two different things. I am encouraging childlike characteristics to strengthen and embrace. It may be a little akward and uncomfortable at first. However, most of the qualities below are familiar and not foreign. This is just a different perspective.
9 CHILD LIKE BEHAVIORS TO ENGAGE IN AND STRENGTHEN
Here are a few ways that you can be childlike and start our own ripple effect in people around you. These behaviors are effortless, effective, and a great way to release your inner child.
Lets be real, who doesn’t appreciate a geunine compliment. They make you giddy and joyful. It’s nice to hear something positive about ourselves since most of time we are putting ourselves down. Some of the best compliments come from complete strangers! Be one of those strangers that makes someone’s day!
Children give compliments all the time. They like your hair, they say it. They like your shoes, they say it. They like your cooking, they say. If they like something, they let others know.
Too often we will see something or notice something, think a nice thought in our head, and then never express it. We are constantly thinking compliments in our head but never sharing with the person, place, or thing that needs to hear them. Why is that?
Just say it, type it, or give it. Give compliments freely and do it often. Tell people what you like and appreciate about them!
Become Comfortable Sharing Your Stories
If it’s relevant or relatable share it, heck, just share it anyway! We all have stories and plenty of them. Our experiences, our stories, our journey is what shapes us into who we are. By sharing something personal about yourself or something that you have gone through can really help another person. You just never know because most people don’t voice their stories.
Be different. Be childlike. Share all your stories with those that need to hear them. Believe it or not but people are interested in what you have gone through in your life so far. How many times have you said to someone you knew, “I didn’t know that, how come you never told me that?” Ask! Talk to those around you and learn their stories.
Your story can provide comfort, reassurance, and an overall awareness.
Children are always sharing random stories. You don’t always understand them but you feel appreciated and valued that they are sharing them with you. When someone shares a story with you its because they trust you. Pay attention to who’s sharing their stories, with you.
Stop Being So Concerned With What Others Think
Easy enough, right? WRONG, I know. Many of us struggle with our image and how we appear to others. We want to fit in, be liked, blend. But where has that got anyone. Most of us are fully comfortable around a trusted set of individuals. Typically family or a few close friends. You are your complete self with them and they accept you for who you are. Yet, we care more about the other peoples thoughts and opinions. The people that aren’t close to us or really even know us. It doesn’t make sense.
Children are ALWAYS themselves, no matter who they are around. They want to dance in the middle of the store to no music THEY DO IT. They feel like screaming because they are excited, THEY DO IT. There clothes don’t match and they look like a bum, THEY DON’T CARE! All children has such unique personalities and what they have in common is they don’t care what others think. They are themselves.
Learn to be yourself and love who you are.
Do It Yourself. If You Don’t Know How, LEARN.
Most of us wait, we wait and wait and wait. We are under the illusion that things will just come to us and we don’t have to work for it. We put ourselves on a pedestal and think the world is the problem, not us.
Stop waiting. Stop waiting around for things to happen, for people to change, for opportunities to come seizing, etc. You will be waiting for a very long time if you think that’s how things should work. There is never going to be a perfect time. There is never going to be a perfect opportunity. And sometimes, sometimes, you just have to be the bigger person. If you want something done right, as you know you gotta do it yourself.
If there is something that you have been eagerly wanting to do but just can’t figure it out. Don’t just give up, learn or find some way to figure it out. Problem solve!
Children are always eager to do things by themselves. They will discover all sorts of new ways to do things that you never even thought of. I previously mentioned, learn to problem solve. Children are amazing problem solvers! Talk about determination. They will figure out how to get what they want, EVEN IF you take away some of their tools. Yes, they do ask for help at times, but once they figure it out, they won’t ask again. They strive and yearn for independence. That’s praiseworthy.
Express Your Feelings, Don’t Hide From Them
For whatever reason, we typically bottle up our feelings. We don’t want to offend anyone, we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, we don’t want to be looked at differently….etc, etc. You get the idea, because you know there’s truth to that.
I’m telling you to stop doing that, and let your feelings free roam. Bottling them up doesn’t do anything good, for you, or the person/persons that take the hit of the bottle of repressed feelings. Acknowledge how you are feeling. Feel, the feels. If you’re happy let the world know! If you are mad, address what made you mad. If you are sad, reach out to a trusted person.
Children express their emotions openly and freely. They don’t even know how they are feeling but they feel it! The young especially don’t even know what happy or mad is but you do and you see them express it without holding anything back.
Let yourself feel and express it. People are not mind readers. You can’t expect anyone to know how you feel if you don’t communicate it.
Try New Things For Your Benefit And Theirs
We are so comfortable. Most of us are in some type of trance or autopilot where we typically never step outside the box. Why? Because we have a routine. We know the outcome, we settle, we’re lazy, or we’re scared; to put it point blank.
Get out of your comfort zone. As you’ve probably heard before; become comfortable being uncomfortable. Try new things! If an opportunity arises to do something out of your norm, take advantage of it! Why not! Give yourself a challenge and welcome failure.
How many times do we tell a child, “Just try it,” or “it will be fun, you’ll love it.” And many more things we tell our children to try new things. We are always encouraging or pushing them to step outside their limits. Yet, we are so set in our ways and not willing to try anything new.
Children are eager to try new things and get their hands dirty. They are curious and always welcoming new engagements or activities. New things excite them! They dont even know if they will like it or not but they go for it anyway! If they fall they get back up! If they don’t like it, that’s fine. They will always get credit for trying.
Learn To Forgive Easily And Move on.
Oh man. How many times have we let such minor things get the best of us. We get upset, we overreact, and sometimes we hold a grudge for days, months, even YEARS! When we sit down and actually dissect the issue, we discover the issue is so small and not worth all the negative energy. It’s hard for us to let things go sometimes. However, the bitterness we carry solves nothing. The only person it hurts is us.
Children don’t hold grudges. They may be upset for a little bit but they are very quick to forgive and move forward. I have had times with my own children where I have yelled at them. I feel so awful afterwards. I apologize for yelling and ask for a hug and a kiss. They give me those hugs and kisses and then proceed like nothing happened. Imagine if we were that forgiving.
We all make mistakes. We are not perfect. We are human. Disappointing others is inevitable. People will continue to fail us and we will fail others. It’s going happen, whether it be big or small. Although, we can choose how to behave. Be childlike when it comes to forgiving and forgive willingly.
Be Empathetic With Everyone and Everything
Put yourself in their shoes. Have you heard that before, or maybe something similar. We can never fully understand what someone is going through or feeling unless we are in their shoes or a similar situation. Until then, we can empathize and strengthen our ability to understand.
Children are extremely empathetic. With everything! People, objects, animals, I mean EVERYTHING. They are so in tune with the feelings of others, its truly amazing. They recognize emotions through their favorite movies, books, other children they see out and about, even some of their toys they are empathetic with. Pay attention to them.
While most of us adults over here are quick to judge, shake our heads, question and mostly we ignore. It becomes abnormal if we can’t understand it. We won’t understand everything that people do, say, etc. Put if we place ourselves in theirs shoes, and analyze the situation we may gain a whole new perspective and things become more clear. We began to empathize.
Be childlike and feel for others. It’s as simple as that. Do your best to understand others.
LOVE Boldly
This one doesn’t need much explaining. Just love and be amazed with all things. Love like a child.
Children love with everything that they have.
In a nutshell here is a recap of 9 childlike qualities to strengthen
Give Compliments Whole Heartedly
Become Comfortable Sharing Your Stories
Stop Being So Concerned With What Others Think
Do it Yourself. If you don’t know how, Learn
Express Your Feelings, Don’t Hide From Them
Try New Things For Your Benefit and Theirs
Learn To Forgive Easily And Move
Be Empathetic With Everyone
Love Boldly
Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this post and are able to apply these behaviors and traits into your daily life!
Now go do something fun for yourself! You deserve it!
Please share any thoughts, comments, or something a child has taught you! I’d love to hear it!
“The More That You Read, The More Things You Will Know. The More That You Learn, The More Places You’ll Go.” Dr. Seuss
He has a point……….doesn’t he?!
Below are 5 amazing books that I feel have either strengthened my mindset, allowed me to view things in life in a different perspective, encouraged me to be more aware of my surroundings or lifestyle, and, overall, I would say have helped me with struggles with personal growth or change that I have been seeking in myself.
If you are ever in a standstill in your life, read a book! There are so many lessons to be learned!
I PROMISE YOU WILL GAIN SOMETHING FROM READING THESE BOOKS BELOW
Grab a cup of joe, a warm blanket, and create a space that is comforting. And start reading!
“…you have hidden treasures within you.” – Dale Carnegie
I LOVE all of these books and I look forward to sharing another 5 BOOKS TO READ soon!
If you have read any of these I am curious on your thoughts, if you agree or disagree! I want to hear from you!
Knowledge is power my friend.
tip: Have a highlighter near you, when you come across something that really stands out highlight it! It’s nice to go back and re-read what caught your attention in some way!
1. THE FRED FACTOR- EVERY PERSONS GUIDE TO MAKING THE ORDINARY EXTRAORINDARY BY MARK SANBORN
This book is short and powerful. It’s only 80 pages! However, it withholds SO much value! Who’d of thought of a mailman being so inspiring, YOU WILL WANT TO BE LIKE FRED, I guarantee it. I believe many of us think you need money to make a difference but that is so not the case. This book underlines how you can create value in other peoples lives without paying a dime! It is eye opening and will help you to appreciate where you are right now in your life. If you need help having a positive attitude this is your book to read! I have highlighted so much in this book!
2. HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE- DALE CARNEGIE
Dale……Dale. My man, Dale. This book is absolutely AMAZING and I have learned so much from reading this book. It’s small print with a little over 200 pages. I cannot wait to read more by this author because of the helpfulness and new visions that I have gained from reading his book. This book is so well written and provides such great direction toward having a happy life and being successful in whatever you are doing! If you are in business I would definitely recommend reading this book!
3. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE- DR. DAVID WALTON
This was an interesting and self reflecting read, I really enjoyed getting my mind to think outside the box. This book allowed me to observe myself how others may see me. Not only that, this book helped me to develop more self awareness in myself and how to empathize more with others. We can be so quick to judge sometimes. Not just with others but with ourselves. We are constantly telling ourselves things that aren’t true. We need to be more respectful, mindful, and more patient with all things.
4. RICH DADS CASHFLOW QUADRANT- ROBERT T. KIYOSAKI
Money can be a sensitive topic to most people. To some, its a forbidden subject or not proper to talk about with others. However, this book just lays it all out there which I love. This book helps you to understand the game of money. It helps you to identify which cash quadrant you fall under, and how to get where you want to be financially. Many of us have bad habits with money or we just really don’t know how to handle it. This book will teach you discipline. Hopefully after reading this, money issues will be a thing of the past. I still have a lot to learn! But this is a great start!
5. THE FOUR AGREEMENTS- DON MIGUEL RUIZ
I feel this is a pretty popular book but I can understand why! It is powerful and soulful. You will be transformed with a new way of thinking and living. This book is great for self growth, strengthening your spirituality, and opens the doors to new opportunities. One of my favorite things it talks about is the power of our word. Our words are so powerful and can do so much. You will become incredibly mindful with so many things after reading this book. I highly recommend this one!
SO there ya go! This is a small list but holds such great power if you allow yourself to learn and grow!
“Free Your Mind, And The Rest Will Follow.” – En Vogue
I am currently reading some great books right now that I look forward to sharing soon! IF YOU WANT TO DO AN ACT OF KINDNESS……SHARE THIS FOR ALL THE BOOK LOVERS!
SIDENOTE: If there’s a book you recommend, please comment or message me! I love books that challenge my way of thinking or can promote self growth in any way!
Mmm….coffee and donuts. Have a blessed day! PEACE & LOVE.
“The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest is being happy with what you find.” – unknown
Have you ever felt lost in life. Or possibly unsure of your journey, maybe you feel like your life is in a standstill and you don’t know what to do.
Maybe you feel like there is a part of you that is empty and eager to be fulfilled. We all experience that feeling once in awhile, and for different reasons. We all have a story.
I do believe discovering your roots is a huge step into finding yourself again. Being adopted is what lead me down my path. This is my journey.
Being Adopted made me feel lost, has anything ever made you feel lost?
Do you know anyone that is adopted? Maybe you have a sister or brother that is adopted or maybe even a best friend. Have you ever talked to them about how they are feeling? How being adopted has impacted them….how it has shaped them into who they are. Have they expressed an eager want to meet their biological family to you?
They have possibly accepted that there’s a good chance they will never meet any biological family. If they’ve accepted that, you probably have to. I want to encourage anyone adopted or know anyone in search of family members to take advantage of our technology. Ancestry lead me to mine without even trying.
(My name is Marie. This is actually a selfie I took right before we left to meet my family for the first time. It was my birthday and I was so nervous! I posted this on my Instagram and no one really knew I was doing this except family and a few close friends.)
I’m adopted. I was adopted when I was just infant. I have no memory of the process nor do I remember ever being told I was adopted. I just always knew. My birth mom was not in the best mental state, and my birth father was not a US Citizen. Having just adopted my daughter I can understand and empathize the struggles and toll it takes on everyone through the process. I actually feel very thankful that I was able to experience the process of adopting before actually meeting my bio family.
Life is full of different perspectives. It helps to take a step back, reevaluate your life and ask yourself what is it that you want…
“Perspective is the way we see things when we look at them from a certain distance and it allows us to appreciate their true value.” – Rafael E. Pino
(We officially adopted this little doll 2 months prior to meeting my family! This all couldn’t have happened at a more perfect time! The way she came into our lives permanently is whole different story! Ill save that for another time 😉 . I will say though, she has brought so much joy and happiness into our family. She is a total blessing and I thank God for her. )
Don’t Judge Another Persons Journey -we are all on our own path. Be patient with yours. You may not know what you’re looking for but just start searching.
Please do not feel sorry for me or anyone else that is adopted. Adoption is an amazing thing. Who in the world knows where I would be right now if God didn’t choose this path for me. I am incredibly thankful. But that is a huge reason those that are adopted don’t go off shouting or sharing, “Hey, I’m adopted.” A typical response we get is, “I’m sorry.” Which, I can imagine makes some people feel bad because they are thinking….wow, I cant imagine not knowing who my mom, dad or siblings are. I understand that. But don’t tell an adoptee “I’m sorry.” It makes us feel bad, and afterwhile you keep it to yourself because you’re tired of hearing that. You also get tired of answering questions you really don’t know the answers to….but deep down inside you wish you did know. If you know anyone adopted or adopting get excited for them! Adoption itself it pretty remarkable journey.
Alright, that’s a little backround for you. Now, I will share how this all came to be.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7
Being adopted and not knowing an bio family lead me to wonder a lot about my ethnicity. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have been asked, “What nationality are you?” Many times my reply was “mostly Mexican.” Because well, that’s all I knew and was told. And then, I would be told countless times, “Really, I see middle eastern in you.” Or, I would get asked, “are you middle eastern?” and I would just start saying, “Yes…yes I am.” (hahah) and they would say, “I knew it!” (hahah who knows! At that time I didn’t know!) It became rather funny just making up ethnicities for myself. My friends that knew my life had fun with it too. This all lead me to ask myself then, what the heck am I?! I was told numerous times by my family, “you’re full Mexican” and I would argue saying that I had to be something else because everyone thinks I’m something else. I was convinced and I was just curious. Once I gave birth to my daughter I had to know more about my DNA and background. Not just for myself, but for my daughter and any other possible children I might have in the future.
(My first born. My little answered prayer. Being adopted and never knowing any biological family is what made me actually want to be a Mom so bad. I wanted someone that was apart of me if that makes sense.
To be a Mother became a dream of mine when I was very young and I always feared and asked what if I can’t have children. I’ll never know what that connection feels like….it scared me. You can imagine the emotions I felt holding this little baby that actually shared my DNA. I can’t express how much love and joy this little girl gave me when she was born.)
You have to learn how to control your thoughts and not let your worries and regrets consume you.
For 27 years, I never knew what my ethnicity was, and then, because of ancestry my answer was just a click away. My results read; Native American, Italian, Greek, Iberian……and less then 3% Middle Eastern. Go figure. This was a huge and very exciting thing for me!! I can’t really describe the joy of finding out this information.
Now if you are unfamiliar with the way Ancestry works. Here it is in a nutshell. You order kit, you receive kit, you spit in a tube, you mail it, and then receive results via email in about a month. I currently have access to my detailed DNA and I can see if I have any DNA matches with family members.
Its amazing, I definitely recommend this service even if you are not adopted. Keep in mind, I didn’t do ancestry to find family. I did it to answer a prolonged question that had been nagging me for years. When I received my results the only DNA matches I had at that time were 3rd cousins and below. I did reach out to one of them but we couldn’t nail it down to exactly how we were related. Still in contact with him today via social media.
“Remember and honor family who come and gone before you, because they had a hand in shaping who you are.” – unknown
(A small preview of my DNA results via Ancestry)
Sometimes what you’re looking for in life comes when you’re not looking at all. The unexpected is what changes our lives.
Fast forward about a year and half. I receive an email from Ancestry out of the blue in June of this year. The last time I had visited the Ancestry web was a few months prior. The message read, “Hola Marie! Me sorprendi al obtener mis resultados y ver somos primas en primer grado.”
I don’t know spanish very well, so when I first read that my response was, “que?” haha! Jk…kinda of.
In other words, this translates to, “Hi Marie! I was surprised to get my results and see that we are first cousins.”
I of course messaged her back explaining that I was adopted and didn’t know much about my biological family, just my biological parents name. I provided the name of my bio dad and you know what her response was….”OMG, that is my Mom’s brother!” Crazy right! Strait out of Telenovela! *Where are my Jane the Virgin fans at!*
“Marie’s life now was the stuff of Telenovelas.” -Narrator
MI PRIMA! (MY COUSIN! The one that set this all up! AND our first selfie. )
She proceeded to answer any questions I had and let me know how huge our family was. It was incredible. We exchanged numbers and just began texting. It was overwhelming and emotional for both us in different ways. By the end of that day, my whole family knew of me and my cousin finding me via ancestry. Which BTW was completely by accident! She joined ancestry for a whole different reason! She basically demanded that we need to visit and that everyone wanted to meet me. Especially those family members that actually knew about me since the day I was born. The only thing was almost all of my family resided in Tijuana, Mexico. A complete foreign place to me. I was being asked to bring my husband and daughters to a part of Mexico I’ve never been…. with people that I have never met. I was very hesitant as you can imagine.
After many texts exchanges we agreed on a date and time to travel to see everyone. We would meet in San Diego and then go from there.
“Have faith in your journey. Everything had to happen exactly as it did to get you where you’re going next!” -Mandy Hale
(I had butterflies the whole time driving to California from Arizona)
I kept thinking to myself is this real life, is this really happening? Am I really going to go through with this? Something that I thought would never happen or even planned on happening was HAPPENING!
I let my family and closest friends know my plans and I could tell they were thinking this whole ordeal was a little crazy. Probably thinking, this is dangerous. Yes, they are my family, but at this point they were still strangers as well. I was definitely reminded that countless times by close people in my life.
My husband surprisingly was never worried. I began to think all these what ifs…..and it really freaked me out. I became scared and untrusting, thinking of all these different scenarios. I actually reached out to my cousin and allowing her to know that I was nervous and scared. Her response to my fear was so genuine and so assuring I knew I had to go through with this.I told my fear to shut the eff up!
“Go find yourself first, so you can find me.” -Rumi
Long story short…WE DID IT! We ended up traveling to San Diego and agreed to meeting at a fun little Italian Restaurant before traveling to Mexico together the following day. I ate way to much bread with oil and vinegar. Remember I mentioned it was my birthday too! Talk about an amazing birthday present! I got to meet my family! We hit it off instantly! Thank God my husband nor myself said the word, “biscuit.” That was our code word in case we had to make a run for it. Come on now, of course we thought about them kidnapping us.
(Waiting in front of Buca di Beppo to meet my cousin for the first time! Excited!)
The interaction was so great we decided to go through with staying the night with them! Close your mouth, its not that crazy, is it?! Her family is amazing! Now I am just reminiscing how great of an experience this was and so thankful I trusted God for this gift of meeting my family. I know this was a gift. I just do.
The best things in life are on the other side of terror.
The following morning we all piled into an SUV and traveled to VIVA LA MEXICO! Oh my gosh it was amazing!! We were scheduled to meet the whole family at 1pm for a gathering. Beforehand we ate some delicious food, they showed us around the city, and we took some fun pictures. One being on a donkey painted like a Zebra. Check it out!
“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” – Mother Theresa
BREAKFAST! Mmmm……que rico!
Yummy Treats
Talk about awesome architecture! I swear, sometimes I look at things and I’m like, “Man made that….”. My husbands typically laughs at me.
Look at this beautiful church. Its an open church, there was actually a funeral going on when we walked by. Anyone can go in during any ceremony. Whatever service you have done at this Catholic Church is welcomed to anyone.
I really enjoyed the markets while visiting! Very authentic and captivating.
A Downtown Mall…very cool and original. It was almost like a maze.
Crickets anyone? I’m not kidding, the ones on the left are crickets! No gracias!
OH HEY! It’s the DONKEY I mentioned! Hey Ruben!
In finding yourself you will have moments you can’t put into words.
The afternoon came closer and we began to make our way to my Uncles house. Butterflies began to swarm in my belly. I was about to meet a group of Uncles, Aunts, and Cousins. I was about to meet the people I always wondered about. I was about to have a dream become a reality, and my husband and daughters got to share this amazing moment with me.
This was so special to me I’m getting choked up just writing this. I felt alone so many times not knowing these people, curious as to the characteristics that run in the family, facial features that I picked up, and inherited traits that I may have acquired. This moment was very surreal.
Some of my Cousins! (Primas)
We had gorditas for lunch. These were being made while we sat around a table just laughing and crying! Like I said before, this was very emotional for all of us. The food was SOOOOOO GOOD! I’m craving some now!
Everything you will come to you at the right moment, be patient and always be grateful.
Many smiles, many hugs, many laughs, plenty of happy tears and plenty of food happened that afternoon. My face even got pushed into a cake! But I’m not sharing that picture! The love that was surrounding all of us that day is indescribable. This moment I shared, was something I will treasure forever and I already cant wait to plan our next trip and see my family! Hope you all enjoyed getting to know me a little better.
Special thanks to for its amazing service and countless opportunities. Thanks to my cousin and her family for arranging this gathering and taking a leap of faith to allow us into their lives. Huge thanks to my family and friends that supported this adventure and kept us in their prayers. And one more huge thank you to my family in Tijuana that welcomed us with loving arms and took such great care of us! Love you all!
SOME OF YOU might be asking wait….did she meet her birth dad or does she know anything about her birth mom? Does she have other siblings out there too?
I guess you’ll have to wait and see.
Embrace the Journey, Embrace Change, Embrace life. Go Find Yourself. Know Your Roots.
Share this story, comment, or ask me any questions!
Thank you for taking your time to read some of my journey! As my family says,
“Primero Dios!” If God wants it to happen, it will happen.
Tijuana, Mexico
The Wild Gems 