Tag: advice

In A Nutshell, This Is What You Can Expect In Your 20’s

The Wild GemsLeave a comment

20’s are an absolute blast I will say and a time for some full on growth.

Full of foolish moments that make you smile whenever you think about them. Happy hours, parties, late night shenanigans, plenty of all nighters, summer love, blurry moments, adventure, dancing, and some really fun, stupid times.

A few moments of “what was I thinking?” and, “I still can’t believe I did that” will happen when reminiscing about your 20’s.

Your twenties are kind of the carefree time in your life. At least in the beginning it starts like that.

When I say carefree I mean go with the flow kind of mentality. That things will just work out how they need so. Your thought process is that you have time.

Later you realize that’s not exactly how it works, if you want something it’s going to take work and you have to be willing to put in the work to get what you want. You also realize time doesn’t wait and you don’t get time back.

You don’t really realize how young and naive you are at that age till you are reflecting on the past.

You will be a different person at age 21, 25, and 29 no doubt. A little hard to believe how much changing and evolving happens during this time.

Your 20’s are full of growing and identifying who you are and what you truly want to be. You may move to a different city, make a drastic career change, get into a committed relationship, do things you said you’d never do, and a few setbacks may happen here and there.

Your 20’s are also full of mistakes. Recalling events or actions and feeling completely embarrassed or guilty. Or not taking that leap of faith your initiation was telling you to do.

During these moments you learn to discover the silver lining in all things.

Towards the end of your 20’s you begin to love yourself and you learn how to not let the opinions of others alter who you are. You may become lost, but you also find yourself in a completely different way.

You drift away from friends but gain new ones. Some you cut off completely, some you rekindle with.

You become very close with your family and recognize how often they have been there for you and have supported you.

You may get married and have kids. If it’s not happening to you it will be happening to the people around you. Don’t feel rushed or saddened.

There is a time for everything. One lesson you will learn in your 20’s.

There will also be a few hard moments that will probably happen in your 20’s. Heartbreak and loss. Feelings of wasted time and regret.

Struggles will happen with your relationship, you may experience struggles of trying to start a family, you may struggle with work, you may struggle with debt, you may experience betrayal, you may experience heartbreak, etc.

These are the moments that will shape you the most. You will become more empathic towards others and gain a variety of different perspectives.

A few things you will take with you onto the next decade are:

  • More confidence and more self assurance
  • A list of goals you are determined to accomplish
  • Awareness of how fast life really does go
  • Words of wisdom from friends, parents, or mentors
  • The courage to say No to things you really don’t want to do
  • That things will pass, and life does go on
  • More knowledge about your physical and mental health and how you need to stay on that
  • Friendships you’re incredibly thankful for

Advice for your 20s

  • Embrace everything
  • Seize opportunities that approach you
  • Explore and Travel
  • Learn how to manage your finances
  • Exercise
  • Spend time with your parents
  • Read more
  • Go On A Solo Trip If You Can
  • Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s
  • Pray
  • If you aren’t happy, don’t wait, do something about it NOW

On to the next adventure. On to the 30’s.

For myself, I am incredibly grateful for where I am and the lessons I have learned.

Wishing you the best, always.

Be grateful. Be thankful. Be humble.

I have 3 Requests Before You Meet My Newborn

The Wild GemsLeave a comment

Having a newborn is a very joyful, exciting, and can be extremely overwhelming and stressful experience. Especially if this is your first baby.

With figuring out breastfeeding, motherhood paranoia, a body that is still healing from birth, sleep deprivation…..it’s a lot to process in the beginning. Not to mention your hormones are now adjusting to this change that just happened. It’s exhausting.

And everyone adapts differently. Everyone. Don’t compare your yourself to anyone else.

Once you have your newborn, it’s like flys to a light. Everyone wants to come visit you and meet your new little bundle.

First of all, if you’re a new mom, don’t feel obligated to tell everyone yes to meeting your baby right away. This is a precious time and again, you’re also healing. They can wait.

With my first I didn’t allow anyone to see me or meet my baby in the hospital. Everyone is different I know, but personally I didn’t want to see anyone. Not even my family. And once we got home, everyone wanted to come visit….and for the most part I let them.

But in my head I was thinking I just had major surgery, I’m bleeding right now, I’m in pain, I’m so tired…….why are you here? Let me be for a little bit and give me a moment to bond with my baby. But did I say any of that…..of course not.

When you have your baby believe it or not you become extremely possessive and mama bear kicks in high gear. You let people hold your baby but in your head you’re shouting; give her back! Don’t hold her like that! Okay, she wants her mom now….

With a new baby, have people visit when YOU are ready.

Remember this is YOUR baby. It’s OK to have a few requests with people meeting your baby for the first time. Know that much.

SO with that being said, I’d like to share my own requests:

  1. If You’re Sick, Please Stay Away

You’d think this would be a no brainer but it’s surprisingly not! Well, truth be told I think deep down people know they shouldn’t be getting close to a new baby when they are sick but unfortunately it happens. And it happens often sadly enough.

Listen, I know you may be anxious to see those cute little cheeks and baby lips. But if you are sick, feel like you are getting sick, or literally just got over something please STAY AWAY.

Please wait till you are better. This is a newborn, my newborn, and I don’t want any harm to my baby.

2. DO NOT Kiss MY Baby 

Please do not kiss my baby, ESPECIALLY, on the lips. This is my baby and I do not feel comfortable with you kissing my baby.

Now, you may offend people with this request, if you choose to tell people the same thing. Shocking I know, but unfortunately true. The people you will offend are the family members. But listen, they need to respect your wishes. If you see them kissing your baby, do not hesitate to step in and say something if you are not comfortable with it. Also, don’t feel the need to explain your reasoning.

As I mentioned previously, I am not comfortable with it. That is all I need to say.

3. Make Sure Your Hands Are Clean

Please, if you’re going to hold my baby, wash your hands before you hold her. More then likely you’re going to be admiring how adorable her little feet and hands are which will you lead you to touching them….

But what you don’t know is she sucks on her hands for comfort.

Now you know why I ask that your hands are clean.


Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Those are my requests

  • If you’re sick, please stay away
  • Do not kiss my baby
  • Make sure your hands are clean

Simple, right?

Do you have any newborn requests or stories you’d like to share in relation to my requests. Please let me know!

Enjoy your newborn Mama, and don’t be afraid to put the foot down when needed. 

  

For You…Daughter – I Wish And Hope

The Wild GemsLeave a comment
A poem dedicated to you
(This poem is not written by The Wild Gems, all credit is given to Joan Benicken. Thank you for your beautiful poem.)

pexels-photo-1028707

‘My Hope for you, Daughter’

I can’t give you the world,

filled with all its riches.

I can’t promise you a life free from

sickness, pain, and disappointment,

for that is a gift not mine to give.

I cannot guarantee that you

will never feel your heart break.

My only hope for you is that

you fulfill the dreams deep within you.

I wish for you to know yourself

and be faithful to yourself.

For if you do,

you will be able to fully love others.

Be free to choose your course in life

without fearing a wrong decision.

Reflect on what you have been taught,

and take time to listen to your heart.

Never lose the ability to feel with open arms

all the passion and joy that life holds for you.

Give all you have

without looking for something in return.

Reach out for that which you can attain

and not for that which is impossible.

My hope for you, my daughter,

is that you will be all you can be,

for only then will you awaken

to the person you want to be.

– Joan Benicken

From the book ‘There Is So Much to Love About You…Daughter’ A Blue Mountain Arts Collection

Comfortable Pregnancy Apparel Must-Haves For Your Growing Baby Bump

The Wild GemsLeave a comment

Something that you’re going to have to do when you’re pregnant is…..go shopping and get some new clothes! As if you need a reason to shop, am I right?!

It’s when your precious little bump begins to grow that your everyday clothing becomes well, a little uncomfortable to say the least.

You can only use a hair tie for so long to keep your pants together until you just can’t anymore.

If you’re not using a hair tie you’re probably using a pregnancy belly band. Which are great and super convenient by the way! I definitely recommend those in the beginning. But, eventually even that belly band soon becomes uncomfortable and you want your growing belly to be free and less compressed.

When everything starts feeling too tight let that be sign that it’s time to shop and change up your wardrobe for the next couple of months.

Maybe you’re thinking well what should I buy or wear? I’m only assuming that because you’re reading this. The simple answer is, get what’s comfortable TO YOU.

With this being my second pregnancy I am going to share with you the MUST-HAVES for your pregnancy wardrobe!

MUST HAVES FOR YOUR GROWING BABY BUMP

Maternity leggings

You can buy maternity leggings online or a maternity clothing store. I would suggest getting a least 2 pairs of maternity leggings. If you’re on the petite side you can also save yourself some money and just buy the next size up!

Overalls

I really enjoyed wearing overalls while pregnant. I got a pair of shorts overalls at tjmaxx that I loved to wear. They weren’t exactly maternity overalls, I just ended up buying one pair 3 sizes up. Typically overalls are pretty baggy when you buy at your size, so buying up should work for you too!

Cute and stylish, perfect for warm weather.

Maternity jeans (below the belly)

Belly the belly is just my own personal preference. You can buy maternity jeans that have a belly band, but to me it’s really not that comfortable. But remember, do what’s comfortable for you. 

You can find super cute, inexpensive maternity jeans at Target. I would suggest just getting at least one or two pairs of jeans for your pregnancy.

Maternity shorts (below the belly)

Being pregnant in the spring and summer, maternity shorts were a must for me!

I found cute, inexpensive maternity shorts at Target. I would suggest just getting at least one or two pairs of shorts for yourself if you’re pregnant during these warmer seasons.

A nightgown

Yes, girl. Get a nightgown. A nightgown while pregnant has been my best friend. When you think nightgown I know it doesn’t sound too attractive. However you can find some really cute or sexy ones on amazon. And of course Target has nightgowns too that will work during your pregnancy. What doesn’t Target have! I would suggest at least 2 night gowns.

sidenote: Will also be perfect postpartum!

Loose dresses (not form fitting)

Although form fitting dresses while pregnant are fun because it accentuates your belly, they aren’t that comfortable. I found myself feeling extremely bloated when I would wear form fitting clothing while pregnant.

Loose dresses are extremely convenient, stylish, and again, comfortable!

Drawstring linen pants/boho pants

Tjmaxx my friend. I found drawstring linen pants at Tjmaxx that were light, affordable, and cozy. If you don’t have much luck there I’d suggest amazon. At least 2 pairs will get you through.

Birkenstock Style Sandals

If you can afford Birkenstock sandals get some!

Don’t worry if you can’t though! That’s why I put Birkenstock style. I found a pair of generic Birkenstock sandals at a grocery store market place! Yeah, a grocery store! The sandals have hands down been my favorite footwear throughout my pregnancy! One pair is all you need. I highly recommend.

Now as for tops….

I would suggest just buying tops that are the next few sizes up. No need to really buy tops that are specifically maternity style unless you gotta have it because the design is cute.

Can’t find anything in the woman’s sections, try the men’s section! My husbands shirts were the best for this growing bump!

Clothing that is labeled ‘maternity’ can be really expensive, you’ll come to find a few sizes up works just fine. 

HAPPY SHOPPING MAMA BEAR! Have fun with it!

I told you I really enjoyed wearing overalls while pregnant! 36 weeks right here! Bump is a little hidden as you can tell, but still so much fun to wear!

@coffeewafflesandmotherhood – find me on Instagram!

If You Have Been Experiencing Mom Guilt, I Want You To Try This

The Wild GemsLeave a comment

Being a Mom can be challenging. That’s the truth, and for many different reasons and unique situations.

While Motherhood is absolutely amazing and very humbling, it’s full of struggles, hardship and what many other Mothers would call ‘Mom guilt’.

You really won’t hear too many Mothers going around talking about the struggles they have with parenting, a lot of times we keep our hard times to ourselves.

Why? Because we are ashamed to even have these feelings and emotions. We feel embarrassed and unworthy at times. It’s difficult when these types of moods occur.

I got to a point in this Motherhood journey where I knew I needed to change myself. Some of my actions were definitely uncalled for. How could I expect my little one to control their temper when I could barely control my own.

I found myself constantly complaining and it felt like I was pouring out nothing but negative things. I was loosing my patience on my toddlers. I was crying because of my behavior. I was disappointed in myself. I couldn’t believe some of the things I did and said. I truly felt unrecognizable.

My faith has always been important to me. Even more important and guiding once I became a Mother. I knew at this point where I was that I needed to be put in my place. I needed perspective and I needed an adjustment in my attitude.

When I decided that I needed to do something, a devotional book came to mind. In the past I would watch motivating videos on YouTube in hopes of being inspired or driven in some way. This time, I wanted something tangible and something that I could reference back to when needed.

I also knew a devotional book would strengthen my relationship with God, which is what I really needed. I needed help with Mothering my children because I was tired and burnt out to say the least.

I went onto amazon and I believe I typed in, ‘women’s devotional book’. Trusting God Day By Day: 365 Daily Devotionals by Joyce Meyer was one of the books that showed up in my search.

I choose that specific devotional book because of the numerous great reviews.

Mothers, I want you to try reading a devotional everyday, preferably from a devotional book. I personally suggest a book because more is said then just the devotional itself. Insight is shared, perspective is gained, and the author finds a way to connect you with their words, that you can apply to your every day life.

Try reading a devotional first thing in the morning, if not first thing in the morning then sometime during the day. 

(note: When you are reading your devotional have your bible, a journal, and a pen handy. Write down whatever stands out to you, or write down more specifically, what it means to you.)

I would like to share that reading a devotional everyday has truly helped me with my Mothering. I am more patient then I was, I am more empathetic, and I have gained more self control.

A few slips are going to happen. You’re human. However you will get closer and closer to where you want to be. You got this Mama! I am praying for you!

This is the devotional book I am currently reading daily and I am so grateful!

I’m so incredibly thankful for this journey and my beautiful daughters who have brought new colors into my world. Thank you so much for reading. I hope this will bring more peace to you and your family if you choose to try this.

@coffeewafflesandmotherhood

Simple Ways To Keep Your Toddler/Kids Entertained This Summer

The Wild GemsLeave a comment

When I originally wrote this blog I focused on toddlers. However this still applies to kids in grad school!

Okay, let’s be real for a second. It really isn’t that hard to entertain a toddler. You give them an empty box and it’s the best thing ever. If you’re really feeling spontaneous give them a role of toilet paper and let them go crazy, they’ll get some giggles from that, seriously lol.

My point is, if you do a search for activities for toddlers you get a list of crazy sensory activities. It honestly overwhelms me. I know without doubt my toddler would absolutely love to do those activities. However, I personally just don’t have the patience to do all of it. I would have to go buy supplies, which means I would have to go to the store, and then come home and….yeah you get my point.

Call me lazy, but I prefer simplicity. With it being so hot this summer I need simple activities.

Look at her! Balloons and water! SIMPLE.

smiling girl sitting on gray stainless steel basin playing with pink balloons

Photo by Georgia Maciel on Pexels.com

Below I have put together a simple list to do this summer with your toddler broken, into 3 categories.

  • Things To Do Outside
  • Things To Do Inside
  • Things To Do When You Have The Time, Money, Or Energy

sidenote: Mama, don’t feel you need to constantly entertain your toddler. Allow them to be bored and learn to entertain themselves. Letting them learn to entertain themselves enhances their imagination and creativity.

And some days, they will just want to watch movies or youtube ALL DAY. Let them. We all like to have lounge days sometimes, even toddlers. 

THINGS TO DO OUTSIDE

  1. SplashpadPool

Do a search in your community. Typically they are free to the public and a great way for your toddler to get wet and wild. Bonus is they will take a long nap afterwards!

2. During The Weekend Find A FREE CONCERT

You’d be surprised how many places have free concerts. Check events on social media and ask around. There’s a lake near where we live and they host summer evening concerts. Families come, bring snacks or pizza, and let their kids observe and dance!

3. “Paint The Garage”

Get a bucket of water, and some paintbrushes. Let your toddler dip the paintbrushes in the water and fling or “paint” your garage. They can see the water strokes and they really think they are painting. Harmless, clean, easy fun! Fun with sponges too!

4. Bubble FUN

I think we forget sometimes how much toddlers love bubbles. Make it a game and encourage them to pop the bubbles as fast as they can. You can find a cheap bubble maker at Walmart for like 9 bucks.

5. Go Fishing

Toddlers love new things and trying new things. We bought our girls fishing poles before a camping trip we went on. Before we actually took them real fishing my husband let them play with their poles. They spent a good hour just casting the string out and reeling it back in, in the front yard. So if there’s not a lake near you, let them pretend!

6. Play With Chalk

You can get so creative with chalk! It’s especially fun with you wet the chalk first and then start chalking the side walk. A fun way to explore tons of colors too!

7. Invest In A Water Activity Table

For my girls 3rd birthday we got them a water activity table from amazon that came with a few water toys. They can splash the water, pour cups, put their toys in, and it’s just a fun activity that doesn’t make a huge mess. The water dries and when you’re done, pour the water out. Perfect for those hot days when you want to get outside.

8. Get a Plastic OR Blow Up Pool

Perfect for those days when you don’t want to leave the house but you want your toddler to burn some energy. Sometimes a kiddy pool is more fun then an actual pool because you’re in the comfort of your own home.

9. Let Them Play With The Water Hose

Because this is just a classic summer activity. My toddlers have an absolute blast with the water hose. My husband gets a little mad because they make a mess getting water over everything lol, but they have so much fun with something so incredibly simple.

THINGS TO DO INSIDE

  1. Build A Fort

Take the cushions of the couch, bring out the blankets and pillows, get the mattress off the bed! You can get extremely creative with this and it’s an easy clean up!

There was a time where I took our mattress and had half of the mattress on the floor and half of it on the actual bed. It became a slide for my girls and they had SO MUCH FUN climbing on the bed and sliding down the mattress. That is pure, cheap, entertainment. This kept them occupied for quite some time let me tell you.

2. Turn Some Music On, AND DANCE

Who cares if you don’t dance well, your toddler isn’t going to judge you. Your toddler will love dancing with you. Bonus- you’re also working out. #momwin

3. Do A CRAFT

Don’t make this too complicated. Let them create art with finger paint or let them make a macaroni necklace. Keep it simple mama.

4. Make Rice Krispy Treats

They will love you forever first of all, and this is something really fun they can help with.

5. GET YOUR TODDLER A WATER DOODLE MAT

Just trust me on this. It’s the best ever. You can buy these mats on amazon. Check out the reviews!

6. READ BOOKS

Need I say more. Buy some puppets and have them read. Become extremely animated as you read them a story. A great way for your toddler to learn and for you to bond together.

THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE THE TIME, MONEY, OR ENERGY

  1. Go To The Movies
  2. Visit a Museum
  3. Take Them To a Trampoline Park or Some type of Kid Zone
  4. Take Advantage of “toddler time” at specific places
  5. Visit the library Or A Barnes And Noble

Wishing you a cool summer! xoxo

acs_0035

What will you be doing this summer with your toddler! Drop it in the comments!

It’s Been Confirmed! You’re PREGNANT! What to do first!? I have 10 simple things to share!

The Wild GemsLeave a comment

However it’s been confirmed, you’re pregnant! Hopefully this is very exciting news for you! May be a bit scary, but you are about to embrace an incredible, emotional, exciting journey.

This might be your first or maybe it’s your second, third, fourth, or fifth! Whatever the situation, it’s still a rush finding out you’re pregnant.

Now, there are a ton of other blogs out there that will provide a list of ‘TO DO’s’ once you find out you are growing a little miracle, I’ve actually read a few.

I am a fan of simplicity so I am going to keep this as simple as possible and my hope is you don’t feel overwhelmed after reading my ‘what to do first’.

Let’s get started!

1. FIND A TRUSTED DOCTOR

You really need a doctor that you can trust, are comfortable with, and can confide in. Ask your friends or family for references or do a search on google. Personally, I love google because of reviews. People do not hold back on reviews, which I love and can appreciate. If you find a doctor and don’t have an immediate connection right away it’s ok, don’t stress. You can always switch doctors. I would advise not switching in your third trimester but if you need to switch in the beginning for whatever reason it’s ok. This doctor will be with you for 9 months and will most likely deliver your baby, so make sure you like him or her!

2. START TAKING THOSE PRENATAL VITAMINS

Whether you choose to take store bought prenatal vitamins or whether you have your doctor write you a prescription, start taking them right away. You’re especially going to want to look for prenatal vitamins with folic acid. Your baby grows at a rapid pace and it’s important to make sure you and your baby are getting all the vitamins and minerals to keep him or her growing healthy.

3. DOWNLOAD A PREGNANCY APP OR GET A PREGNANCY BOOK

I am personally a fan of the ‘What To Expect’ App and the ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’ books! They both stand as a great guide, to well, what to expect when being pregnant! You’re informed with what’s going on with your baby at the moment and the constant body changes you’re going through. As well as a few things you may have been wondering about. Both of these will walk you week by week, month by month, and trimester to trimester. Definitely take advantage to be more informed with what’s going on with you and your baby.

4. GET EXCITED

Being pregnant is a journey on it’s own! Even if this is your second or third child, every pregnancy is different. A lot of pregnant women don’t like to get too excited until after the first trimester because the first trimester is the most fragile time. However I’m telling you to get excited! I know you have fears and worries but do your best to always anticipate the best! Buy some pregnancy magazines, start your secret Pinterest boards, look at maternity clothing, look at baby stuff, etc. You have been given a gift, embrace it!

5. TELL A FEW TRUSTED PEOPLE

I say this because during the first trimester you may not be showing but you will be feeling your body adjusting to change. You may experience morning sickness, you will more then likely be very tired, and you may become sensitive to smells. That was totally me in my case. You just never know, but it’s comforting to have someone to talk about it with vs. dealing with these changes by yourself. After the first trimester is typically when the official pregnancy announcement is made, however don’t feel obligated to share the news once the first trimester is over. Share the news when you are ready. Have fun with it though, there are some super creative baby announcements out there.

6. BE MINDFUL OF YOUR DIET

Now that you are pregnant you really need to be mindful and cautious on what you are putting into your body. Alcohol and any other substances are a big no go. Do your best to stay away from junk food and incorporate more fruits and veggies in your every day meals. Smoothies are a great way to go. It’s also OK to indulge on some things! If you get a craving for donuts or chili cheese fries go for it! Just be moderate with those cravings. If you are unsure about something you want to eat always ask your doctor. They will let you know!

7. START A SAVINGS PLAN

Things add up, I’ll say that much. The sooner you start to save, the better. Not only will you be more prepared but starting a savings plan will provide peace of mind. Money is not something you want to stress about when the baby arrives. You will already be dealing with changes and adjusting. Money doesn’t need to be an added stress factor. Start saving now for this little bundle of joy!

8. WRITE DOWN ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS

Questions and concerns will arise at the most random moments. Although google, family, and friends are convenient, it’s best to talk to your doctor with anything on your mind concerning your pregnancy. Don’t assume you will remember what you want to discuss with your doctor at your next appointment. More then likely you will forget! It’s important to write them all down so your doctor is informed with what is going on with you. Your doctor can help ease your mind, provide resources, and offer assurance. Whatever it may be, bring it up to your doctor. I can almost guarantee your question or concern isn’t the first time they’ve heard it.

9. INCREASE YOUR WATER INTAKE

You know water in general is good for you right!? So many benefits! Now that you’re pregnant it’s even more important that you stay hydrated! Stay on that girl, it’s good for you and baby.

10. ENJOY EVERY MOMENT

Take pictures of your growing belly, start a journal, indulge in all things for pregnant women! Take advantage! There will be difficult times where you will be anxious for your pregnancy to be over. I am telling you, it goes by so fast. Before you know your baby will be here. Then they turn 1, 2, 3, 13, 18!! You will just be thinking where the heck did time go and you’ll miss those sweet baby kicks inside of you. Then you’ll start crying……. lol jk. But I’m not! Wahhh!

Just enjoy these moments where he or she is growing. This is such a precious time, and soon your life will never be the same.

 

Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy!

@coffeewafflesandmotherhood

When Your Kids Are Distracting You And Your Spouse From Spending Quality Time Together

The Wild GemsLeave a comment

Remember how much freedom you and your spouse had before you had kids? Sleeping in together, staying out late, going wherever and whenever you wanted, you can recall I’m sure. Now your schedules are almost entirely planned around your kids. And you notice how you’re always busy now? It’s crazy right.

Having kids completely changes your lifestyle and it changes your relationship with your significant other.

You will face many challenges together with raising children. In this post I am only going to discuss one challenge and share with you what has worked for my husband and myself.

The Challenge:

Distracting you and your spouse from spending quality time together.

When you have kids, it can be a little challenging to maintain that one on one time with your spouse. With dates and intimacy.

It’s so important to keep your relationship thriving even when you have children. Let this be an opportunity to get creative and step outside your box.

My husband and I love our daughters so much. They are our world. However we do have moments where we reminisce about how spontaneous we were in the past and how completely oblivious we were to our freedom.

It’s amazing how you don’t really recognize how much freedom you have until a child enters your life.

Something we both have learned with having kids is time together has to be planned and scheduled.

Of course that’s not how it is all the time, but I would say a majority of time if we want to be alone it has to be planned in advance.

Just because you and your spouse have kids now doesn’t mean the love needs to be let go. Your relationship still needs to be a priority. And yes, it will take more work then what it did in the past.

I’m sure some of you are thinking, well I don’t have a baby sitter, or our schedules are so different, or possibly, I try but he isn’t willing, etc,

As I mentioned previously, this is an opportunity to get creative.

If you can’t get a babysitter or don’t feel comfortable leaving your children yet don’t sweat it. That was exactly how my husband and I were. We would have “at home dates” and still do! I would have our girls skip nap time so they would go to sleep early so we could spend time together, just me and him.

(As I said, we still do this. Some of the evenings of just eating ice cream together or watching something on TV take me and him back to the old days.)

When your schedules are different you need to take advantage of every moment together.

For example: You two only have mornings together. Maybe share coffee together and do a question of the day about one another. Remember, step outside the box.

(Note: Stay off your phones when you two are together. How many times have you witnessed a couple out together and they are both on their phones. Talk, listen, hold hands, BE PRESENT.)

Both of you need to be willing to try new things. If one of you is trying and one of you isn’t, there may be a deeper issue that needs to be resolved.

In that case, I might suggest help from a professional.

Discuss Your Relationship.

You two need to be on the same page and open to embracing this new chapter in your relationship. You won’t have to be so creative forever or plan every moment together forever. Your children are going to grow up.

But are you both happy right now? Have you sensed that you two are drifting apart or something just feels different. More then likely both of you aren’t getting enough attention from one another.

If these emotions have occurred this is your relationship craving some immediate attention. If you’re reading this there’s good possibility you’re in this situation.

In a nutshell I am saying, TAKE ACTION. Don’t allow your children to be the excuse anymore. 

Here Are A Few Moments To Always Take Advantage Of:

  • Bed time
  • Nap time
  • When they are on a play date or at a friends or with family
  • When they are glued to a game or YouTube
  • A Family Gathering
  • A birthday party
  • When they fall asleep in the car
  • In the morning before they wake up
  • When they head to school

…you get the idea.

These are all opportunities where you two can discuss something, plan something, do something, etc. Both kids fell asleep in the car? Go get something in the drive-thru, pull over, and enjoy it together. Kids are sleeping? uh, HELLO! Have some private time. At a gathering of some sort? There’s enough adults watching the kids, get playful. You can still be spontaneous, it will just be in a different way.

Also, it’s definitely more then OK to put other things on pause to give your spouse the attention they deserve and need.

Keep the sizzle and have fun. You’ll be laughing about these moments in the future and sharing them with your children.

A book I would highly recommend to strengthen your relationship with your spouse is titled The 5 Languages Of Love by Gary Chapman.

I definitely recommend this book even if your relationship is thriving right now! It’s an amazing eye opener and will bring you two even closer.

What works for you and your spouse, I’d love to hear it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

15 MUST DO’S Every Fall Season

The Wild Gems

Fall is one of my favorite times of the year. It’s the closing of a chapter while beginning a new one.

A time to celebrate and embrace the change that surrounds us. The external and the internal.

Fall is a cocktail made of comfort, peace, and complete gratitude. Always sure to give you the warm and fuzzies.

I have put together a list to make every Fall memorable for you and your family or friends!

15 MUST DO’S Every FALL

1. VISIT THE PUMPKIN PATCH

 I feel like this is a given but I know it’s not! I had only ever gone to the pumpkin patch when I had my first born. Before that I just never went. Why? I have no idea! I always just got my pumpkin at the grocery store or some little pumpkin stand on the side of the road. But oh my goodness, the pumpkin patch is its own experience! They are so fun!

Go with your family or a group of friends for a great time! You won’t be sorry!

Note: Most of the pumpkin patches in town or in your town have special features or special events on specific dates. Be sure to look it up and take advantage! Start planning now and mark your calendar.

2. Carve/Paint Pumpkins

Okay, I mention this because how many of you leave the pumpkin carving to someone else. Guilty! I NEVER carve the pumpkin, I don’t know why. Probably because my husband is way better at it than me but this year I am determined!

Make it a contest with your family members or host a pumpkin carving party! Most grocery stores offer pumpkin carving kits to make it that much easier for you!

3. Toast Pumpkin Seeds

What to do with all those seeds after carving that beautiful pumpkin….hmmmm.

Don’t throw away the pumpkin seeds after carving your pumpkin! TOAST THEM! You can find such delicious recipes online! Plus pumpkin seeds are actually really good for you. Toss them in a salad or use as some type of fall recipe topping. Yum.

4. HOST A BONFIRE and make s’mores

Nothing says Fall like a bonfire and some s’mores!

If you don’t want to host one that’s ok, encourage one of your friends to host one! Spend the evening with your friends or family reminiscing while being cozy near the fire.

Maybe add some spiked cider in there as well.

5. Take Advantage Of Everything SEASONAL

I’m talking seasonal. Examples would be soaps, candles, foods, events, drinks,you get the idea! Everything SEASONAL!

All these things are only here for a limited time so if you enjoy Fall stuff as much as me then I suggest stocking up! Pumpkin candles and flavors are my absolute favorite! And of course all the Fall flavors that come out at Starbucks.

6. Make A Homemade Apple Pie

When I think fall I think apples and pumpkins. Make an apple pie or pumpkin pie from scratch! And share it with a friend.

7. Try 3 New “Fall” Recipes

Pinterest is full of fall recipe inspiration! Pick at least 3 new recipes to try!

Here’s something to get you started, PUMPKIN SPICE DONUT BITES

Make some for your friends or your neighbors! You know they will love it!

8. Get A Massage

I really don’t know if getting a massage is a Fall thing. But I could really use a professional full body massage and I’m making it a note to get one!

9. GET CRAFTY

I know you have it in you!

Make a fall wreathe, knit a scarf, get started on a homemade Halloween costume. If you visit Michaels or Hobby Lobby you are SURE to find something fun to make or get started on!

10. Get Started On Christmas Shopping!

Where are my procrastinators at! Just start, do it! Begin that list ! This is what I’m telling myself!

I can’t be doing last minute Christmas shopping anymore. Fall is for shopping.

11. Make A Fall Drink

Oh man, there are so many festive drinks out there! One for whatever you are craving. Invite a friend over and have a cocktail hour!

I have my eye on caramel apple sangria!

12. Get Cozy With A Good Book Or Two

Snuggly jammies, coffee, and a good book. A perfect Fall recipe for any time of the day.

13. Plan Family Pictures

I personally think Fall is the perfect time for family pictures. I love Fall apparel, I love Fall colors, and I love the scenery that takes place in the Fall.

Plus, if you take Fall family pictures they can also serve as your Christmas card picture, if you choose to do them!

14. Go To A Festival

So many fun events take place in the Fall and it’s time to take advantage.

Do a search on google or social media to find out what will be happening in your town or city!

15. Enjoy A Getaway

Take time for yourself or with your family or friends. Whether it be a staycation or a full blown trip. Take some time to escape and enjoy! You definitely deserve it.

My husband and I love camping and about two years ago we went to Disneyland in the Fall, which was a real treat. If you love Disneyland and Fall then you NEED to plan a trip ASAP if you haven’t already experienced FALL AT DISNEYLAND.

 I hope this list inspires you in some way! What will you be doing this Fall!?

Whatever you do, enjoy it surrounded with family and good friends.