Having a newborn is a very joyful, exciting, and can be extremely overwhelming and stressful experience. Especially if this is your first baby.
With figuring out breastfeeding, motherhood paranoia, a body that is still healing from birth, sleep deprivation…..it’s a lot to process in the beginning. Not to mention your hormones are now adjusting to this change that just happened. It’s exhausting.
And everyone adapts differently. Everyone. Don’t compare your yourself to anyone else.
Once you have your newborn, it’s like flys to a light. Everyone wants to come visit you and meet your new little bundle.
First of all, if you’re a new mom, don’t feel obligated to tell everyone yes to meeting your baby right away. This is a precious time and again, you’re also healing. They can wait.
With my first I didn’t allow anyone to see me or meet my baby in the hospital. Everyone is different I know, but personally I didn’t want to see anyone. Not even my family. And once we got home, everyone wanted to come visit….and for the most part I let them.
But in my head I was thinking I just had major surgery, I’m bleeding right now, I’m in pain, I’m so tired…….why are you here? Let me be for a little bit and give me a moment to bond with my baby. But did I say any of that…..of course not.
When you have your baby believe it or not you become extremely possessive and mama bear kicks in high gear. You let people hold your baby but in your head you’re shouting; give her back! Don’t hold her like that! Okay, she wants her mom now….
With a new baby, have people visit when YOU are ready.
Remember this is YOUR baby. It’s OK to have a few requests with people meeting your baby for the first time. Know that much.
SO with that being said, I’d like to share my own requests:
If You’re Sick, Please Stay Away
You’d think this would be a no brainer but it’s surprisingly not! Well, truth be told I think deep down people know they shouldn’t be getting close to a new baby when they are sick but unfortunately it happens. And it happens often sadly enough.
Listen, I know you may be anxious to see those cute little cheeks and baby lips. But if you are sick, feel like you are getting sick, or literally just got over something please STAY AWAY.
Please wait till you are better. This is a newborn, my newborn, and I don’t want any harm to my baby.
2. DO NOT Kiss MY Baby
Please do not kiss my baby, ESPECIALLY, on the lips. This is my baby and I do not feel comfortable with you kissing my baby.
Now, you may offend people with this request, if you choose to tell people the same thing. Shocking I know, but unfortunately true. The people you will offend are the family members. But listen, they need to respect your wishes. If you see them kissing your baby, do not hesitate to step in and say something if you are not comfortable with it. Also, don’t feel the need to explain your reasoning.
As I mentioned previously, I am not comfortable with it. That is all I need to say.
3. Make Sure Your Hands Are Clean
Please, if you’re going to hold my baby, wash your hands before you hold her. More then likely you’re going to be admiring how adorable her little feet and hands are which will you lead you to touching them….
But what you don’t know is she sucks on her hands for comfort.
Something that you’re going to have to do when you’re pregnant is…..go shopping and get some new clothes! As if you need a reason to shop, am I right?!
It’s when your precious little bump begins to grow that your everyday clothing becomes well, a little uncomfortable to say the least.
You can only use a hair tie for so long to keep your pants together until you just can’t anymore.
If you’re not using a hair tie you’re probably using a pregnancy belly band. Which are great and super convenient by the way! I definitely recommend those in the beginning. But, eventually even that belly band soon becomes uncomfortable and you want your growing belly to be free and less compressed.
When everything starts feeling too tight let that be sign that it’s time to shop and change up your wardrobe for the next couple of months.
Maybe you’re thinking well what should I buy or wear? I’m only assuming that because you’re reading this. The simple answer is, get what’s comfortable TO YOU.
With this being my second pregnancy I am going to share with you the MUST-HAVES for your pregnancy wardrobe!
MUST HAVES FOR YOUR GROWING BABY BUMP
Maternity leggings
You can buy maternity leggings online or a maternity clothing store. I would suggest getting a least 2 pairs of maternity leggings. If you’re on the petite side you can also save yourself some money and just buy the next size up!
Overalls
I really enjoyed wearing overalls while pregnant. I got a pair of shorts overalls at tjmaxx that I loved to wear. They weren’t exactly maternity overalls, I just ended up buying one pair 3 sizes up. Typically overalls are pretty baggy when you buy at your size, so buying up should work for you too!
Cute and stylish, perfect for warm weather.
Maternity jeans (below the belly)
Belly the belly is just my own personal preference. You can buy maternity jeans that have a belly band, but to me it’s really not that comfortable. But remember, do what’s comfortable for you.
You can find super cute, inexpensive maternity jeans at Target. I would suggest just getting at least one or two pairs of jeans for your pregnancy.
Maternity shorts (below the belly)
Being pregnant in the spring and summer, maternity shorts were a must for me!
I found cute, inexpensive maternity shorts at Target. I would suggest just getting at least one or two pairs of shorts for yourself if you’re pregnant during these warmer seasons.
A nightgown
Yes, girl. Get a nightgown. A nightgown while pregnant has been my best friend. When you think nightgown I know it doesn’t sound too attractive. However you can find some really cute or sexy ones on amazon. And of course Target has nightgowns too that will work during your pregnancy. What doesn’t Target have! I would suggest at least 2 night gowns.
sidenote: Will also be perfect postpartum!
Loose dresses (not form fitting)
Although form fitting dresses while pregnant are fun because it accentuates your belly, they aren’t that comfortable. I found myself feeling extremely bloated when I would wear form fitting clothing while pregnant.
Loose dresses are extremely convenient, stylish, and again, comfortable!
Drawstring linen pants/boho pants
Tjmaxx my friend. I found drawstring linen pants at Tjmaxx that were light, affordable, and cozy. If you don’t have much luck there I’d suggest amazon. At least 2 pairs will get you through.
Birkenstock Style Sandals
If you can afford Birkenstock sandals get some!
Don’t worry if you can’t though! That’s why I put Birkenstock style. I found a pair of generic Birkenstock sandals at a grocery store market place! Yeah, a grocery store! The sandals have hands down been my favorite footwear throughout my pregnancy! One pair is all you need. I highly recommend.
Now as for tops….
I would suggest just buying tops that are the next few sizes up. No need to really buy tops that are specifically maternity style unless you gotta have it because the design is cute.
Can’t find anything in the woman’s sections, try the men’s section! My husbands shirts were the best for this growing bump!
Clothing that is labeled ‘maternity’ can be really expensive, you’ll come to find a few sizes up works just fine.
HAPPY SHOPPING MAMA BEAR! Have fun with it!
I told you I really enjoyed wearing overalls while pregnant! 36 weeks right here! Bump is a little hidden as you can tell, but still so much fun to wear!
@coffeewafflesandmotherhood – find me on Instagram!
Being a Mom can be challenging. That’s the truth, and for many different reasons and unique situations.
While Motherhood is absolutely amazing and very humbling, it’s full of struggles, hardship and what many other Mothers would call ‘Mom guilt’.
You really won’t hear too many Mothers going around talking about the struggles they have with parenting, a lot of times we keep our hard times to ourselves.
Why? Because we are ashamed to even have these feelings and emotions. We feel embarrassed and unworthy at times. It’s difficult when these types of moods occur.
I got to a point in this Motherhood journey where I knew I needed to change myself. Some of my actions were definitely uncalled for. How could I expect my little one to control their temper when I could barely control my own.
I found myself constantly complaining and it felt like I was pouring out nothing but negative things. I was loosing my patience on my toddlers. I was crying because of my behavior. I was disappointed in myself. I couldn’t believe some of the things I did and said. I truly felt unrecognizable.
My faith has always been important to me. Even more important and guiding once I became a Mother. I knew at this point where I was that I needed to be put in my place. I needed perspective and I needed an adjustment in my attitude.
When I decided that I needed to do something, a devotional book came to mind. In the past I would watch motivating videos on YouTube in hopes of being inspired or driven in some way. This time, I wanted something tangible and something that I could reference back to when needed.
I also knew a devotional book would strengthen my relationship with God, which is what I really needed. I needed help with Mothering my children because I was tired and burnt out to say the least.
I went onto amazon and I believe I typed in, ‘women’s devotional book’. Trusting God Day By Day: 365 Daily Devotionals by Joyce Meyer was one of the books that showed up in my search.
I choose that specific devotional book because of the numerous great reviews.
Mothers, I want you to try reading a devotional everyday, preferably from a devotional book. I personally suggest a book because more is said then just the devotional itself. Insight is shared, perspective is gained, and the author finds a way to connect you with their words, that you can apply to your every day life.
Try reading a devotional first thing in the morning, if not first thing in the morning then sometime during the day.
(note: When you are reading your devotional have your bible, a journal, and a pen handy. Write down whatever stands out to you, or write down more specifically, what it means to you.)
I would like to share that reading a devotional everyday has truly helped me with my Mothering. I am more patient then I was, I am more empathetic, and I have gained more self control.
A few slips are going to happen. You’re human. However you will get closer and closer to where you want to be. You got this Mama! I am praying for you!
This is the devotional book I am currently reading daily and I am so grateful!
I’m so incredibly thankful for this journey and my beautiful daughters who have brought new colors into my world. Thank you so much for reading. I hope this will bring more peace to you and your family if you choose to try this.
When I originally wrote this blog I focused on toddlers. However this still applies to kids in grad school!
Okay, let’s be real for a second. It really isn’t that hard to entertain a toddler. You give them an empty box and it’s the best thing ever. If you’re really feeling spontaneous give them a role of toilet paper and let them go crazy, they’ll get some giggles from that, seriously lol.
My point is, if you do a search for activities for toddlers you get a list of crazy sensory activities. It honestly overwhelms me. I know without doubt my toddler would absolutely love to do those activities. However, I personally just don’t have the patience to do all of it. I would have to go buy supplies, which means I would have to go to the store, and then come home and….yeah you get my point.
Call me lazy, but I prefer simplicity. With it being so hot this summer I need simple activities.
Below I have put together a simple list to do this summer with your toddler broken, into 3 categories.
Things To Do Outside
Things To Do Inside
Things To Do When You Have The Time, Money, Or Energy
sidenote: Mama, don’t feel you need to constantly entertain your toddler. Allow them to be bored and learn to entertain themselves. Letting them learn to entertain themselves enhances their imagination and creativity.
And some days, they will just want to watch movies or youtube ALL DAY. Let them. We all like to have lounge days sometimes, even toddlers.
THINGS TO DO OUTSIDE
SplashpadPool
Do a search in your community. Typically they are free to the public and a great way for your toddler to get wet and wild. Bonus is they will take a long nap afterwards!
2. During The Weekend Find A FREE CONCERT
You’d be surprised how many places have free concerts. Check events on social media and ask around. There’s a lake near where we live and they host summer evening concerts. Families come, bring snacks or pizza, and let their kids observe and dance!
3. “Paint The Garage”
Get a bucket of water, and some paintbrushes. Let your toddler dip the paintbrushes in the water and fling or “paint” your garage. They can see the water strokes and they really think they are painting. Harmless, clean, easy fun! Fun with sponges too!
4. Bubble FUN
I think we forget sometimes how much toddlers love bubbles. Make it a game and encourage them to pop the bubbles as fast as they can. You can find a cheap bubble maker at Walmart for like 9 bucks.
5. Go Fishing
Toddlers love new things and trying new things. We bought our girls fishing poles before a camping trip we went on. Before we actually took them real fishing my husband let them play with their poles. They spent a good hour just casting the string out and reeling it back in, in the front yard. So if there’s not a lake near you, let them pretend!
6. Play With Chalk
You can get so creative with chalk! It’s especially fun with you wet the chalk first and then start chalking the side walk. A fun way to explore tons of colors too!
7. Invest In A Water Activity Table
For my girls 3rd birthday we got them a water activity table from amazon that came with a few water toys. They can splash the water, pour cups, put their toys in, and it’s just a fun activity that doesn’t make a huge mess. The water dries and when you’re done, pour the water out. Perfect for those hot days when you want to get outside.
8. Get a Plastic OR Blow Up Pool
Perfect for those days when you don’t want to leave the house but you want your toddler to burn some energy. Sometimes a kiddy pool is more fun then an actual pool because you’re in the comfort of your own home.
9. Let Them Play With The Water Hose
Because this is just a classic summer activity. My toddlers have an absolute blast with the water hose. My husband gets a little mad because they make a mess getting water over everything lol, but they have so much fun with something so incredibly simple.
THINGS TO DO INSIDE
Build A Fort
Take the cushions of the couch, bring out the blankets and pillows, get the mattress off the bed! You can get extremely creative with this and it’s an easy clean up!
There was a time where I took our mattress and had half of the mattress on the floor and half of it on the actual bed. It became a slide for my girls and they had SO MUCH FUN climbing on the bed and sliding down the mattress. That is pure, cheap, entertainment.This kept them occupied for quite some time let me tell you.
2. Turn Some Music On, AND DANCE
Who cares if you don’t dance well, your toddler isn’t going to judge you. Your toddler will love dancing with you. Bonus- you’re also working out. #momwin
3. Do A CRAFT
Don’t make this too complicated. Let them create art with finger paint or let them make a macaroni necklace. Keep it simple mama.
4. Make Rice Krispy Treats
They will love you forever first of all, and this is something really fun they can help with.
5. GET YOUR TODDLER A WATER DOODLE MAT
Just trust me on this. It’s the best ever. You can buy these mats on amazon. Check out the reviews!
6. READ BOOKS
Need I say more. Buy some puppets and have them read. Become extremely animated as you read them a story. A great way for your toddler to learn and for you to bond together.
THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE THE TIME, MONEY, OR ENERGY
Go To The Movies
Visit a Museum
Take Them To a Trampoline Park or Some type of Kid Zone
Take Advantage of “toddler time” at specific places
Visit the library Or A Barnes And Noble
Wishing you a cool summer! xoxo
What will you be doing this summer with your toddler! Drop it in the comments!
However it’s been confirmed, you’re pregnant! Hopefully this is very exciting news for you! May be a bit scary, but you are about to embrace an incredible, emotional, exciting journey.
This might be your first or maybe it’s your second, third, fourth, or fifth! Whatever the situation, it’s still a rush finding out you’re pregnant.
Now, there are a ton of other blogs out there that will provide a list of ‘TO DO’s’ once you find out you are growing a little miracle, I’ve actually read a few.
I am a fan of simplicity so I am going to keep this as simple as possible and my hope is you don’t feel overwhelmed after reading my ‘what to do first’.
Let’s get started!
1. FIND A TRUSTED DOCTOR
You really need a doctor that you can trust, are comfortable with, and can confide in. Ask your friends or family for references or do a search on google. Personally, I love google because of reviews. People do not hold back on reviews, which I love and can appreciate. If you find a doctor and don’t have an immediate connection right away it’s ok, don’t stress. You can always switch doctors. I would advise not switching in your third trimester but if you need to switch in the beginning for whatever reason it’s ok. This doctor will be with you for 9 months and will most likely deliver your baby, so make sure you like him or her!
2. START TAKING THOSE PRENATAL VITAMINS
Whether you choose to take store bought prenatal vitamins or whether you have your doctor write you a prescription, start taking them right away. You’re especially going to want to look for prenatal vitamins with folic acid. Your baby grows at a rapid pace and it’s important to make sure you and your baby are getting all the vitamins and minerals to keep him or her growing healthy.
3. DOWNLOAD A PREGNANCY APP OR GET A PREGNANCY BOOK
I am personally a fan of the ‘What To Expect’ App and the ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’ books! They both stand as a great guide, to well, what to expect when being pregnant! You’re informed with what’s going on with your baby at the moment and the constant body changes you’re going through. As well as a few things you may have been wondering about. Both of these will walk you week by week, month by month, and trimester to trimester. Definitely take advantage to be more informed with what’s going on with you and your baby.
4. GET EXCITED
Being pregnant is a journey on it’s own! Even if this is your second or third child, every pregnancy is different. A lot of pregnant women don’t like to get too excited until after the first trimester because the first trimester is the most fragile time. However I’m telling you to get excited! I know you have fears and worries but do your best to always anticipate the best! Buy some pregnancy magazines, start your secret Pinterest boards, look at maternity clothing, look at baby stuff, etc. You have been given a gift, embrace it!
5. TELL A FEW TRUSTED PEOPLE
I say this because during the first trimester you may not be showing but you will be feeling your body adjusting to change. You may experience morning sickness, you will more then likely be very tired, and you may become sensitive to smells. That was totally me in my case. You just never know, but it’s comforting to have someone to talk about it with vs. dealing with these changes by yourself. After the first trimester is typically when the official pregnancy announcement is made, however don’t feel obligated to share the news once the first trimester is over. Share the news when you are ready. Have fun with it though, there are some super creative baby announcements out there.
6. BE MINDFUL OF YOUR DIET
Now that you are pregnant you really need to be mindful and cautious on what you are putting into your body. Alcohol and any other substances are a big no go. Do your best to stay away from junk food and incorporate more fruits and veggies in your every day meals. Smoothies are a great way to go. It’s also OK to indulge on some things! If you get a craving for donuts or chili cheese fries go for it! Just be moderate with those cravings. If you are unsure about something you want to eat always ask your doctor. They will let you know!
7. START A SAVINGS PLAN
Things add up, I’ll say that much. The sooner you start to save, the better. Not only will you be more prepared but starting a savings plan will provide peace of mind. Money is not something you want to stress about when the baby arrives. You will already be dealing with changes and adjusting. Money doesn’t need to be an added stress factor. Start saving now for this little bundle of joy!
8. WRITE DOWN ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS
Questions and concerns will arise at the most random moments. Although google, family, and friends are convenient, it’s best to talk to your doctor with anything on your mind concerning your pregnancy. Don’t assume you will remember what you want to discuss with your doctor at your next appointment. More then likely you will forget! It’s important to write them all down so your doctor is informed with what is going on with you. Your doctor can help ease your mind, provide resources, and offer assurance. Whatever it may be, bring it up to your doctor. I can almost guarantee your question or concern isn’t the first time they’ve heard it.
9. INCREASE YOUR WATER INTAKE
You know water in general is good for you right!? So many benefits! Now that you’re pregnant it’s even more important that you stay hydrated! Stay on that girl, it’s good for you and baby.
10. ENJOY EVERY MOMENT
Take pictures of your growing belly, start a journal, indulge in all things for pregnant women! Take advantage! There will be difficult times where you will be anxious for your pregnancy to be over. I am telling you, it goes by so fast. Before you know your baby will be here. Then they turn 1, 2, 3, 13, 18!! You will just be thinking where the heck did time go and you’ll miss those sweet baby kicks inside of you. Then you’ll start crying……. lol jk. But I’m not! Wahhh!
Just enjoy these moments where he or she is growing. This is such a precious time, and soon your life will never be the same.
As you have probably heard before parenting does not come with a manual guide, nor will it ever come with a guide because every single parent does parenting differently. There would be no way to accommodate to the variety of parenting styles if a guide even did exist.
I have 2 almost three year old’s and expecting another baby in a few months and I still do not have it figured out. Truth be told, I don’t believe I ever will. However, that does not bother me because I can appreciate that parenting is a journey full of never ending lessons. Some harder then others. I hear teenage years are the hardest.
Before I became a parent I will admit I imagined it being nothing but easy and well, fun. Full of cute and happy moments. I never once thought about the struggles that come along with welcoming a child into your life.
I just thought about how I would be the ‘best mommy ever’. I am definitely not the best mommy ever FYI
I could not wait to be a mother. It was definitely a dream of mine and a calling I felt an eagerness to fulfill at a very young age. I had my first baby at 26, and I finally felt like this prayer of mine was answered.
When I became a parent, it was better then I ever imagined it to be. It was also way harder then I ever thought. I’m talking way harder. I think the way harder really set in when my husband and I received a second baby by surprise. We were completely caught off guard.
(we received our second baby when our first was 10 months old, to read about that story you can search ‘A Blessing In Disguise’)
When you become a parent, you see things differently. You don’t just see things differently but you have a completely different awareness and understanding.
You look at your parents differently…….in good and bad lighting. Your friends who have had kids for a couple of years now? You feel sorry, because you just didn’t know what they were going through. You can even connect now with strangers almost everywhere you go that are holding a little hand.
You empathize with parents because you know it’s the most amazing and yet hardest privilege.
As a parent you want to do your best for your child. But it’s hard. There are many days where you feel like a complete failure. You also blame yourself for a lot of things that are really out of your control.
We never want to hurt them.
But truth be told, we are going to leave emotional scars on our children.
Now, that’s a real tough pill to swallow especially because we are continuously trying to be the best that we can be.
We do our best to give what we didn’t receive. To be, what are parents were not. To do, what are parent’s didn’t do. As well as, try not to do, what are parents did.
We do our best. But what we think is best, is not always the best and can impact our child in ways we can’t even imagine. Which is a little frightening when you really sit and think about it.
It’s a lot of pressure! We are shaping a life or lives! And one can only hope and pray that the wounds we cause aren’t too severe.
I don’t know what type of scar I am going to leave but I know I will leave one. It may be something I say, something I do, something I choose, something I don’t do…..who knows. But there will be a time, when my child will feel let down by me.
My child is never going to forget it. And neither will yours.
And you may never know what emotional scar you left unless your child has the courage to tell you.
Just about everyone suffers from some type of ‘childhood trauma’. From mild trauma to severe.
You had a parent that always put you down, you had a parent that you felt betrayed you in some way, you had a parent that hit you, you had a parent that suffered from substance abuse, you had a parent that was never honest, you had a parent that was never there, you had a parent that favored your other siblings, you had a parent that didn’t choose you, you had a parent that didn’t believe you, your parent had a temper, your parent embarrassed you, etc……
We all have something that is THERE.
Something that left us confused, upset, concerned, worried, scared, alone, numb…something.
I can tell you, causing you pain was never their intention. Maybe there were other things going on in their life, maybe they were afraid, maybe they thought they were doing a good thing for you…..you know, you just don’t know what was going on in their head at the time. OR…..you don’t really know the results of their ‘childhood trauma’ and how it impacted and shaped their behaviors. Who knows….
(note: If your child is grown, you’re right, you can’t change the past. But you can tell them sorry. That will provide more relief then you know.)
When I look at my daughters I can only pray the scars I leave aren’t too severe. And I hope they will be comfortable enough to tell me when I have hurt their feelings or possibly done something they wish I hadn’t.
I think to myself…..what am I going to do, one day, where I am going to let you down. Even Nemo in the Kids movie ‘Finding Nemo’ said I hate you to his dad, do you remember?
My heart breaks knowing that I won’t be a perfect mom where they will grow up and say their childhood was perfect. It’s unrealistic. That’s not going to happen. I will make mistakes. I know I will, because I already do make mistakes, feel guilt, and have regrets.
It’s something inevitable, it’s going to happen.
Can you think of anything that your parent said to you or did that you have never forgot? Whether it’s big or small you remember exactly how it made you feel.
I have 3 things I will say to my children often that I hope will always bind us together and strengthen our relationships as years come and go.
I hope by saying these things often my children will have peace of mind and not be severely impacted and haunted for years to come by my actions or words that I have no idea will influence my child in the future.
They are below.
I LOVE YOU
I want to make sure I am saying this as much as possible to each child of mine. I hope my child never questions how much love I have for them. It’s not enough to just say it, but telling them why I love them. Expressing to them the joy they bring into my life. Sharing lessons they have taught me. WE know we love our children, but sometimes they don’t hear it enough or feel it enough. They need to hear it and feel it.
I AM PROUD OF YOU
I don’t want to just say those words after they accomplish something like a good grade on a test or a tournament won. I want to say these words just because. I don’t want my children to think they always have to impress me or accomplish something grand to hear these words. I will be proud of them everyday and I want them to know how proud I am to be their Mother.
I AM SORRY
This is a huge one. Being a parent, it’s hard to admit our faults. Especially, to our children. We don’t want to admit that we made a mistake or take ownership for something that we have done, because honestly…..sometimes we think we are in the right. WE think we are, but from a child’s perspective it’s completely different.
A child isn’t expecting an apology from their parent, but sometimes they need to hear it to move forward and let that burden go. I plan on saying sorry often. Sorry if I hurt their feelings, sorry if I couldn’t make their soccer game, sorry for saying NO, sorry for not being cool enough, just sorry. I will always be sorry any time I have upset them but I hope one day they will realize why I did the things I did, why I didn’t do the things they wanted and why I am who I am. I know there will be times that they need to hear this from me, and my hope is they can always forgive me
I know I will never be the best, but I will never give up trying to be the best that I can be.
Parenting is hard…..but it’s also the best gift in the world. A true gift from God and a blessing.
“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.”
-Napoleon Hill
I have always enjoyed writing. Not always anything specific, but just simply writing. It’s very therapeutic and relieving for me. I have tons of notebooks laying around with the most random things written in them as we speak. I get a good chuckle here and there when I rummage through and read them, and other times, lets just say I find myself blushing from embarrassment. What would my husband or kids think if they read this right now….lol oh gosh.
Something I really, really, REALLY, regret doing is throwing away my teen journals. I was so taken back, a lot of the things I wrote were very personal and not the fondest memories when I would re-read my entries. They brought back pain or humiliation that I didn’t want to re-experience every time I re-read them. So like a dummy, I threw them away.
However, now that I am older and more “mature” I would really love to go back and re read what I was feeling in those days and compare to where I am now in my life.
But unfortunately those journals are long gone. It truly breaks my heart, but the lesson I learned in that is don’t throw away your writings. No matter what pain or grief some of your writings may bring, don’t toss them.
Your writings are your own little time capsule and it’s a great way to reflect on how far you’ve come. You may even learn a thing or two from well, YOURSELF.
With all that being said, a couple of days ago I was exploring all the notes I had stored in my phone. When something comes to mind I like to write it down so I don’t forget.
I stumbled across a list of my own lines that are ‘life advice’ related that I feel like sharing. After reading my ‘life advice’ I was wondering what the hell I was reading at that moment of writing these lol. They surprised me a little.
I consider myself pretty silly, but sometimes I can get pretty deep.
These are a few of my own little life lessons that I have learned through my own experiences. Maybe you can relate or you can apply my words into your life somehow.
Wishing you happiness and many blessings
Some life advice by yours truly
You can’t unscramble an egg once it’s been scrambled. But you know what you can do…..throw it into a burrito with some potatoes and cheese.
You are going to make mistakes in your life. Mistakes and failures are inevitable. But that’s part of living. I’m sure you can think of a thing or two you wish you could take back but you can’t go back and hit any type of rewind button. However, you can control your reaction to the matter and how you plan on handling it. Think before you act, and hear the words in your head before you speak are to name a few. Remember, you can’t unscramble an egg once it’s been scrambled. But again, just because it’s scrambled now doesn’t mean you cant make a bad situation a good situation.
Don’t let every decision be like picking a paint color.
First of all, have you ever picked paint colors? It’s a little bit of nightmare, especially when trying to agree on colors with your significant other.
Don’t allow little simple decisions in your life to cause you any type of stress or anxiety. Whatever you pick may not be what you wanted, but be open to surprises and open to embracing something new. And always be confident in whatever you choose. It may not be what you thought…it may be better.
If you were granted a new life you would soon realize it’s not at all what you really wanted.
You are exactly where you need to be. Everything that has happened in your life thus far has been apart of the shaping of where you are now and will continue to shape you through the rest of your life. You would be surprised how much would be taken away in your life right now if you were to have a different life. A different path taken in the past wouldn’t lead you to where you are now. Look for the things in your life right now to be grateful for. And if you’re wishing for a new life, you’re spending too much time comparing your life to someone else’s. Especially…..ESPECIALLY someone on social media.
Plan on things not going according to plan.
Isn’t this how the cookie always crumbles? It’s usually in your favor or against your favor. It ends up going better then planned or maybe worse. Accept that that is just how it is and laugh at it. Continue to make plans in life and don’t ever stop but if something changes along the way welcome the surprise whether it be good or bad. Whatever happened or happens, has a reason…..whether you know the result of it or not.
Your heart will always lead you in the right direction. It’s up to you to listen to it.
Our hearts are often ignored. We humans are very fragile, easily manipulated, and very persuasive. Whatever is going on in your life should always be reevaluated from time to time. Our lives get so busy it’s important to pause, take a step back, and recognize where you are. Are you where you want to be…what is it that you truly want in this life.
Allow yourself some alone time with no distractions and listen to what your heart is telling you. You may not be happy with what is saying. No one else knows what your heart is saying but YOU. You are also the only one that can obey it. Whether you listen or not, it has a voice for a reason.
But how does it make you feel?
This is a question to ask yourself often. This question can be asked with almost every little thing that you do. If whatever it is, is making you angry, sad, hurt, bored, frustrated, etc. anything negative basically…it’s time to figure it out. Those types of things in life that aren’t providing happiness and joy are only going to hold you back from reaching even more happiness and joy in your life. Doesn’t necessarily mean you need to “let it all go” but it’s time to look for a solution to change that feeling. It is possible to turn the most dull tasks into pleasant ones. Get creative and open your heart and mind to inspiration.
Scars are medals of obstacles conquered.
We are often ashamed of our scars. Doing our best to hide them so no one knows the truth. For some, the cut has been so deep they have a difficult time even acknowledging it’s existence.
Be proud of your scars. Your scars tell a story that no one else can. A scar is also something no one else can take away from you. It is yours and you should be owning it. Don’t be afraid or feel a need to hide your scars. Inspire others with your story. You are strong and courageous. You are still here.
Cry with your wounds, for one day the sun shall shine bright again.
Hard things are going to happen in your life. Really hard things. Hard things that leave you gasping for air and leave you feeling alone and confused. When those things happen, cry with your wounds and broken heart. Let your tears fall and feel all those emotions that are ripping through your soul.
Through this horrific rainstorm remember the promise of the rainbow. The sun will shine bright again, it will. Even when it feels like it never ever will. The sun will shine bright again.
Always say thank you, ALWAYS.
First of all, it’s just good manners to say thank you. Second, nobody owes you anything. I know that sounds a little harsh, but no one owes you anything in this life. Everything is earned and worked for.
People do nice things because they want to, not because they have to. Saying thank you often will take you farther then someone who does not appreciate nice gestures.
You always have enough to give.
Whether it be your time, your energy, or even your last dollar…..you will always have enough to serve another person. You get what you give. Plus, it’s proven that giving to others provides more happiness in your life.
There is more then one right way to do something. Be confident in YOUR WAY.
We don’t live in a black and white world. We live in a world that is full and colorful. No one in the world is you, and no one can do things like YOU do. Rather then trying to follow the crowd, discover your own way and be confident in your own direction or method. Be willing to share that way with others. But encourage others your way isn’t the only way. Help others find THEIR way. The destination may be the same, but the path doesn’t have to be. Find the path that matches YOUR needs.
You don’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.
Things happen in life that are unpredictable.
These types of incidents are a blessing in disguise. You may realize it sooner or you may realize it ten years later. Maybe even later. Be grateful when you can recognize it.
We are always provided the tools we need to help us and guide us in this life. May not come in the prettiest wrapping but all things are gifts. Some things have to happen in order for other things to happen. Please remember, that God loves you. He can see the whole picture, we can’t. Trust him.
I would love to hear from! Share your growth!
Do you have any life advice to share or maybe something someone told you that you never forgot!
Please comment with any thoughts or concerns! Have a great day! Thank you for stopping by!
When your child is doing exceptional in school or decides to do their chores without being told you reward them and you rave about it.
When your stubborn, little toddler finally goes potty all by themselves, you praise them, sing hallelujah, and you have a happy dance party, right?
When your husband actually listens and does what you ask him to do for once he gets lucky (wink, wink) and, you REMEMBER this moment. #isthisreallife
When your best friend surprises you and pays the tab for the drinks you acknowledge them, and you pay the tab on the next go around.
When your coworker covers your shift so you can attend a family event, you recognize them with their favorite coffee or a thank you card. At least I hope you do.
Are we sensing a pattern here yet?
Whenever someone does good, we remember, acknowledge, and we give love. We celebrate!
However……..
There is someone in your life that has been neglected for quite some time. This person definitely deserves some praise and acknowledgement.
WITHOUT DOUBT, this person has earned their right to treat and celebrate themselves, damn it!
This person is hardworking, dedicated, and constantly putting others needs, happiness, and demands above their own.
If you haven’t figured it out, that person is you! YES, YOU! I am talking to you!
It’s time to celebrate YOU! It’s time to give a little back to yourself! It’s time to enjoy oneself as they say!
You put up with, and have put up with, a lot of shit. You know it, and I know it. Even your pets probably know it. They do don’t they…..
Your needs are just as important, your hard work needs to be acknowledged, and you need to be doing good for yourself because like I mentioned previously, you’ve earned it! And I’m reminding you!
TIME TO PAINT THE TOWN RED FRIEND!
Before we do so, let’s do a toast:
To celebrating the miracle that you are.
To giving thanks to all the things and people that have served you.
To recognizing that everything about you is precious and unique.
To acknowledging and accepting that there is no one else like you, and that this is a beautiful thing.
And to always enjoy all of life’s offerings.
Babe, it’s time to Celebrate You. CHEERS.
It’s time to stop putting your needs and wants to the side, and it’s time to stop acting like what you do everyday is not extraordinary.
Every day, is a miraculous day if you are still breathing.
Reward yourself, treat yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself.
Celebrating you from time to time is only going to benefit you and those around you. The better mood you’re in, the better you will be to everyone else. That’s kind of common sense, right? Yet, here most of us are, putting ourselves last and not acknowledging all the amazing things we have done so far in our lives!
You’re not being selish. Don’t think that. You are taking care of you, and you are realizing that you are important too.
HOW DO I START CELEBRATING MYSELF? (It’s been that long or I’ve never really done that)
First, stop being so hard on yourself and thinking you’re undeserving of a few favors now and then. You are here and living, that alone deserves some recognition and appreciation.
Second, don’t always expect others or wait for others to treat you or celebrate your accomplishments (big or small). It is not up to other people to make you happy. Recognize the hard work that YOU have done and reward and celebrate yourself.
Third, think back to your childhood and write down what you really enjoyed doing when you were young. Begin to incorporate those things back into your life. Guard your time to do what you enjoy. That is treating yourself.
THE OUTCOME?
You will be happier. And aren’t we all striving for this?
It will open new doors for you, a happier you will benefit all the relationships in your life, you will become more productive, and you’ll want to help others see the value in themselves.
You will be able to help others recognize that they are important and worthy of celebrating themselves.
You will reap the benefits of guarding your time to celebrate, you. In taking the time to celebrate you and recognizing your blessings, you will be blessing others.
Maybe you celebrate yourself all the time. If you do, that is fantastic! Continue doing it and don’t ever stop! If you are not in this position, you may know someone who needs to hear this. Let them know they are deserving and encourage them to do great things for themselves.
Some people just need a little word of encouragement to get them doing what they enjoy doing again. In some way, you should be celebrating YOU everyday.
Treat yourself, take care of yourself, celebrate yourself, love yourself.
AND If you needed a sign to do something nice for yourself, let this be your sign!!
With all this being said, don’t be so hard on yourself. Have an amazing day and go give YOU some lovin’.
Every week or every other week most of us will find ourselves at the grocery store. We are either shopping for ourselves, our family, maybe a family gathering coming up, a pot luck, a birthday party….the list goes on.
We have to eat and let’s be real, grocery stores are incredibly convenient! How fortunate are we to have a store that supply’s our food, and does the hard work for us! Huge thank you to the farmers and businesses out there that make providing meals to my family easy and simple! We appreciate you!
But, to be completely honest, grocery shopping isn’t exactly my favorite task to do. I tend to overspend, buy unnecessary items, having crying or antsy toddlers with me, and it usually makes a miserable shopping trip. Which is why I would typically cringe when it was time to make my way to the store.
However I have since then “gained experience” and have figured out ways to have a pleasant trip every time whether I am by myself or with my kids. As well as save money and leave feeling satisfied after every check out.
Below I have 9 tips that will provide ease for your grocery shopping trips and make it stress-free every time.
MAKE A GROCERY LIST…stick to it and don’t forget it!
This kind of seems like a no brainer but many people don’t make a list before they shop. I use to be one, I’ll admit it. My very organized husband got me into the habit of making a list every time and for that I am so grateful!
Many eye their fridge and cabinets and assume they will remember everything they need. Unfortunately, it’s not until they are already home where they realize they forgot the most important stuff. ugh! Talk about the worst! If you are going with your kids a list is crucial! As kids are super distracting when trying to shop for necessary items.
When you make your list try to categorize your items with the different aisles or sections. That way you aren’t running around from one side of the store to another. We’ve all been there, and it’s very frustrating.
tip: Throughout the week keep a pen and paper handy in your kitchen. When you notice you are out of something or in need of something write it down so you don’t forget it on your list. Once this habit is installed you won’t ever forget your list and you will get into the habit of only buying what you need.
2. Avoid Grocery Shopping On The Weekends
Why would I say avoid grocery shopping on the weekends…because it’s usually busy AF.
If you decide to shop on the weekends you should expect crowds, long lines and bagging your own groceries. Don’t even get me started with bagging my own groceries.
I personally enjoy grocery shopping when it’s less busy and I’m not having to squeeze past people.
tip: If you can only shop on the weekends I suggest going early morning or late evening. It’s so peaceful and there’s barely anyone. My personal favorite.
3. Review The Weekly AD
Let the AD become your grocery shopping companion. You should get the grocery AD once a week in your mailbox. That’s like your grocery shopping jackpot. It tells you what’s on sale, displays items that have digital coupons and more!
Another thing I never took advantage of that my husband got me into. He rocks.
Once we get the AD I review it and circle whatever interests I have in the AD. It’s a great way to save money and who doesn’t like to save money. Every penny counts these days.
tip: Download the APP for your grocery store. Not all coupons are advertised, always check the APP as well for more money saving deals.
4. Don’t Go To The Grocery Store HUNGRY
Grocery shopping and hunger are just not a good mix as most of us know. I will throw everything in the shopping cart when I am hungry and it’s usually not the healthiest food.
I highly advise avoiding hunger shopping if at all possible. It’s one way to avoid spending more money then you intended.
tip: Eat before you go, and feed your children before you go. If you must, bring a few snacks with you.
5. Get A Rein Check
Have you ever seen a smokin deal and you go to look for the product and its completely gone!! Like what gives!! It happens every once in awhile and when this happens ask for a rein check!
I had never heard of a grocery shopping rein check before. I gotta say, I love employees that inform their shoppers of things they have been missing out on.
When there is a great deal going and you find out they are out of stock you feel like you missed out. However, you don’t have to miss out anymore, just ask for a rein check.
At check out let your cashier know what you need a rein check on and they will provide a small slip that will honor that price for a certain amount of time, so next time you go to the store and see the product, you will still get the sale price! CHA-CHING.
tip: To avoid this mishap go shopping in the morning or find out your grocery stores restock days.
6. Take The Free Food To Distract Your Kids
You fed your kid or kids and they are still being squirmy. You have to mentally prepare when shopping with your kids. They are like little ticking time bombs. And if you’re lucky, they don’t explode.
I love our grocery store because in the produce department we have a little thing set up for kids that offers free fruit. I didn’t know about this until an actual produce guy walked me over and showed me. It has been a lifesaver in many occasions. Our bakery also gives out free cookies! You have to ask for a cookie, it’s not advertised, but again, lifesaver. And SOMETIMES there’s even an older man making popcorn for people!
All you have to do is ask the employees.
Not all stores do it because of allergies but its worth finding out if your store offers some goodies to keep your children distracted for a bit. And it’s also something for them to look forward to, IF they behave.
tip: If your grocery store doesn’t offer anything like this ALWAYS bring a few snacks OR let them bring a play shopping cart. One of my daughters loves to push around her shopping cart. I put a few items in there and I know she loves that she’s helping. GREAT DISTRACTION.
7. Bring A Shopping Buddy
A shopping buddy is essential for me. I have two toddlers and I just never like to chance it with them. Even before I had kids I would invite friends to shop with me. We would grab a coffee, catch up and shop together. It definitely makes the trip more enjoyable.
My parents help me big time with my shopping trips. It’s a fun way to spend time with their grandkids and they get their shopping done too. It’s a win win.
tip: If you bring a buddy break your list in half. One goes one way, one goes the other and you get out of the store in half the time! Score! Treat them to a happy hour! Or invite them over and make them a meal.
8. Create A Meal Plan For The Week
Meal planning will help you avoid food going to waste. I’m not saying you need to have a meal planned from Monday-Sunday, even I’m not that organized. Although I wish I was…….*sigh*
What I’m saying is review your pantry, fridge, cabinets, lazy susan, etc before you go shopping. Look for the items that have just been sitting there for quite some time, make sure they aren’t expired, and search on pinterest or google for meal ideas for that particular food item.
For example, right now I have bread crumbs that have sitting around for however long, a can of pumpkin, and a bag of beans. So, maybe this week I’ll make a meatloaf, a pumpkin chocolate chip bread, and, bean and cheese burritos.
On my grocery list I’ll add the additional ingredients I need to get to make those specific meals.
Too often we buy items and they just end up sitting there till they expire! What a waste of money! Or they get buried between other items and we completely forget about them! It does happen, but you can avoid this by reviewing your cabinets and meal planning.
Tip: Review your Pantry once a week or every 2 weeks to avoid clutter in your cabinets and fridge. As well as avoiding wasted food. And search on pinterest for meal ideas when you can’t think of anything to make with something specific you have. I absolutely love pinterest for this very reason!
9. Have A Budget In Mind
Have a budget in mind, but allow yourself a little wiggle room in case you go over. There have been times I have been embarrassed to tell my husband how much I have spent in groceries. Partly because I didn’t follow these previous tips.
I would go hungry, I would buy things we already had but I forgot, I wasn’t taking advantage of the deals or coupons that I had, if it looked good or sounded good I would buy it, and overall I just wasn’t being the greatest shopper with what I was buying.
Buy only items you need or will use and start keeping track on the average amount of money you are spending. Whatever items you buy often, (exp. milk, bread, butter, peanut butter, etc.) stock up when it’s on sale.
Going in with a budget will provide peace of mind and allow you to be more in control and less stressed at check out because you already know how much you will be spending.
tip: On many of the grocery apps it tells you exactly how much an item is. You can make a your grocery list and have a total before you even go. If you need to adjust it, you can do it so it fits your family’s budget before you shop.
That’s all I have folks. If you have any other tips or tricks for a more pleasant grocery shopping trip please comment! I’d love to hear how it can get better!
HAPPY SHOPPING! Wishing you stress free trips every time!
The Wild Gems 