Mama’s Summer Sun Tea

When I think of summer time, I think of long sunny days. Living in Arizona, I think of long sunny REALLY HOT days lol.

But what’s great about these summer days is they are perfect for making sun tea. One of my favorite drinks to sip during these blazing hot days. I remember my mom making sun tea when I was a kid, and now I have a husband who requests this sun tea constantly.

My daughters enjoy this tea too. So you could say it’s husband and kid approved. However I don’t let my kids drink too much of it because of the caffeine. They have enough energy!

Now let’s make some of Mama’s Summer Sun Tea!

WHAT YOU NEED:

A large glass jar or pitcher that can hold 14 1/2 cups of water

4 teabags of Lipton- iced tea 100% natural specially blended for ice tea (24 family size tea bags)

1 cup of sugar (not Splenda or any “healthy sugar”, just sugar!)

Fill up a large GLASS jar with lid of 14 1/2 cups of water. Then place outside all day in direct sunlight. I typically leave my jar out from 10am to 7pm. Remove tea bags, and add 1 cup of sugar into tea and mix. Let chill overnight, THEN ENJOY!

You can even get more creative and add sliced lemons, fresh raspberries, or peaches to the tea. You can leave it unsweetened too if you prefer. This is the way we enjoy it and it’s always a treat!

Hope you enjoy! Let me know how you like it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learning To Control Your Anger With Your Toddler – 5 Ways To Gain More Control

 

There are a couple of things that trigger us as parents.

(some may agree, some may disagree)

Here are a few.

  • The tantrum that just WILL NOT stop
  • The constant nagging for something
  • Your child not listening
  • The picking on/fighting with another child or sibling
  • Almost everything they do or don’t do when you’re already in a bad mood
  • When your child does something they already KNOW they shouldn’t have done
  • [insert your trigger here]

I have two 3 year old’s. While I absolutely love that they can entertain each other, I also feel like I am constantly tested by their behaviors.

They feed off one another in the good and the bad ways.

If you have a toddler you know how much fun and entertaining they are, but, you also know how demanding and aggravating they can be. Am I right?

I had no idea that having toddlers would show me how little in control I was of my emotions, especially my anger.

I had moments where I would be screaming at them, crying, and honestly, I was throwing my own tantrums looking back now. I feel completely embarrassed.

I hated the feelings that took over after though, after anger set in. The guilt especially haunted me. I felt like a monster. I would lay in bed hating myself. I couldn’t even believe I let myself behave like that. I would think to myself…

What was wrong with me? Do other mothers lose their temper? What kind of impact would this leave on my children if I let this behavior continue?

Again, I would ask myself was what wrong with me. My lack of control really confused and startled me.

What I knew was, I needed to change. I needed to figure out the root cause of my anger episodes at my children. They did not deserve this. They are toddlers, they don’t know any better, they are currently in the stage of learning how to handle their own emotions and place in this world.

I read two statements that came from articles or blogs that really helped me to gain perspective. I really wish I could provide the sources but it was so long ago I have no idea the titles of blogs or articles I stumbled across. I found the reads through googling, and these particular words resonated with me. These aren’t the exact words below, but it is what I can recall.

1. Imagine your spouse talking to you the way you talk to your children.

2. Often times, we lose our temper with our children because they release unresolved childhood trauma. 

Whoa, I thought when I read these statements. I would be absolutely crushed if my husband talked to me the way I was talking to my toddlers. That was a very, very, eye widening statement. Especially because I am super sensitive.

As for the second statement, I really had to search into my own childhood and figure out what was it that was holding me back. What was I subconsciously holding against them.

Getting angry and yelling at your toddlers is more common then you think.

You are not alone Mama.

Other moms face this same issue daily. I know this because I see it often in mommy groups on social media. They share the battles or demons that have taken over them. It’s a true struggle that is very powerful.

However, the good news is when you take the time to address your actions, figure out ways to progress, I can almost promise that you will feel so much better about your parenting. You will feel it and so will your children.

Remember progress is progress.

Looking at my behavior before to what it is now………I have definitely gained more self control and I am more aware of the effects of my behavior.

I am also more cautious and aware that my toddlers are learning how to react through situations by watching me. Especially me because I am around them the most. If I am going to continue to yell and lose myself in front of my children, then they will react the same way. This is my opportunity to grow into a better Mother and help them to handle their own stressful situations.

(Note: The only person you can control is you. You can’t control the others that spend time around your child or children. However you are their Mother. They look up to YOU and trust YOU the most.)

Below I would like to share with you 5 ways I have gained more control over my anger with my toddlers.

Anger moments will still happen. You’re human, you may slip once in a while. But be proud of every baby step that moves you forward toward being the Mother you wish to be

Learning To Control Your Anger With Your Toddler – 5 Ways To Gain More Control

  1. Read. Read. Read.

There are so many great articles, books, other blogs out there that discuss the impacts our behaviors have on our children. When you become more aware of what you are doing, you become determined to find some type of solution to an issue you may be facing. It creates a type of awareness to help you understand and hopefully be more empathetic with your child.

Reading these types of things are great because they provide a completely different type of view that you can learn and grow from. Whether you chose to apply what you read to your parenting is entirely up to you.

2. Breathe. Take 3 Long Breaths.

Before you react, take a quick moment to breathe and maybe even count to ten. During that time of breathe in breathe out you will find the appropriate way to react. A quick reaction to something that your toddler is doing or does can scare them and then it makes the situation worse then what it even needed to be.

I was seriously a yeller. I absolutely hated that I yelled so much. So now when I want to yell I just breathe first and talk to them in a calm manner. I may blankly stare at them for a bit but it’s way better then me yelling at them.

Instead of yelling try developing a different tone of voice when upset. Where when they hear that tone, they know Mama means business.

3. Remain Mindful.

Remain mindful when you’re children are near you. They are watching you, they are learning from you, they will mimic you. Children are like little sponges. It’s hard to get upset at them when they are just acting, like YOU.

If you train your mind to always be mindful when you feel the anger coming you will gain more control of how you react to certain incidents and situations. Think about their future, how do you want them to behave and act as they grow and mature. Be the person you want them to be.

4. Walk Away Or Ignore

There are going to be times where you are really tested and you’re going to have to walk away. Sometimes that really is best. For you, and for them.

Eventually, maybe, you won’t have to walk away.

Let this be a bridge to getting exactly where you want to be. But in the meantime it is OK to put them in their room and walk away. This will allow you to calm down, and them if they are behaving in a bad manner.

After everyone has calmed down go talk to your child. Explain why you had to walk away and why it’s difficult for you to be around your child when they act like that. Baby steps.

5. A Daily Devotional

A devotional book has helped me tremendously on controlling my anger. It allows me to appreciate all situations and to be grateful.

When I can appreciate what I am struggling with or going through my attitude and mindset is different. A daily devotional explores a different perspective and gets you thinking in a way that you don’t normally think. And with God’s help you are sure to conquer this obstacle you are currently facing and other obstacles that will appear later in this Motherly journey.

I think we can agree that despite the hard moments, there is nothing more joyful then being a Mother. What an amazing privilege. 

mother and daughter on grass

Photo by Daria Obymaha on Pexels.com

 

Have you lost your temper with your toddler? You are not alone. Please comment any questions or concerns. Or please share what has helped you gained more control with your anger.

 As always, thank you for reading.

 

Sometimes Your Child Just Needs To Hear You Say, “I’m Sorry.”

Parenting is hard. 

As you have probably heard before parenting does not come with a manual guide, nor will it ever come with a guide because every single parent does parenting differently. There would be no way to accommodate to the variety of parenting styles if a guide even did exist.

I have 2 almost three year old’s and expecting another baby in a few months and I still do not have it figured out. Truth be told, I don’t believe I ever will. However, that does not bother me because I can appreciate that parenting is a journey full of never ending lessons. Some harder then others. I hear teenage years are the hardest. 

Before I became a parent I will admit I imagined it being nothing but easy and well, fun. Full of cute and happy moments. I never once thought about the struggles that come along with welcoming a child into your life.

I just thought about how I would be the ‘best mommy ever’. I am definitely not the best mommy ever FYI

I could not wait to be a mother. It was definitely a dream of mine and a calling I felt an eagerness to fulfill at a very young age. I had my first baby at 26, and I finally felt like this prayer of mine was answered.

When I became a parent, it was better then I ever imagined it to be. It was also way harder then I ever thought. I’m talking way harder. I think the way harder really set in when my husband and I received a second baby by surprise. We were completely caught off guard.

(we received our second baby when our first was 10 months old, to read about that story you can search ‘A Blessing In Disguise’)

Noticing A Blessing In Disguise

When you become a parent, you see things differently. You don’t just see things differently but you have a completely different awareness and understanding.

You look at your parents differently…….in good and bad lighting. Your friends who have had kids for a couple of years now? You feel sorry, because you just didn’t know what they were going through. You can even connect now with strangers almost everywhere you go that are holding a little hand.

You empathize with parents because you know it’s the most amazing and yet hardest privilege.

As a parent you want to do your best for your child. But it’s hard. There are many days where you feel like a complete failure. You also blame yourself for a lot of things that are really out of your control.

We never want to hurt them.

But truth be told, we are going to leave emotional scars on our children.

Now, that’s a real tough pill to swallow especially because we are continuously trying to be the best that we can be.

We do our best to give what we didn’t receive. To be, what are parents were not. To do, what are parent’s didn’t do. As well as, try not to do, what are parents did.

We do our best. But what we think is best, is not always the best and can impact our child in ways we can’t even imagine. Which is a little frightening when you really sit and think about it.

It’s a lot of pressure! We are shaping a life or lives! And one can only hope and pray that the wounds we cause aren’t too severe.

I don’t know what type of scar I am going to leave but I know I will leave one. It may be something I say, something I do, something I choose, something I don’t do…..who knows. But there will be a time, when my child will feel let down by me.

My child is never going to forget it. And neither will yours.

And you may never know what emotional scar you left unless your child has the courage to tell you.

Just about everyone suffers from some type of ‘childhood trauma’. From mild trauma to severe.

You had a parent that always put you down, you had a parent that you felt betrayed you in some way, you had a parent that hit you, you had a parent that suffered from substance abuse, you had a parent that was never honest, you had a parent that was never there, you had a parent that favored your other siblings, you had a parent that didn’t choose you, you had a parent that didn’t believe you, your parent had a temper, your parent embarrassed you, etc……

We all have something that is THERE.

Something that left us confused, upset, concerned, worried, scared, alone, numb…something.

I can tell you, causing you pain was never their intention. Maybe there were other things going on in their life, maybe they were afraid, maybe they thought they were doing a good thing for you…..you know, you just don’t know what was going on in their head at the time. OR…..you don’t really know the results of their ‘childhood trauma’ and how it impacted and shaped their behaviors. Who knows….

(note: If your child is grown, you’re right, you can’t change the past. But you can tell them sorry. That will provide more relief then you know.)

When I look at my daughters I can only pray the scars I leave aren’t too severe. And I hope they will be comfortable enough to tell me when I have hurt their feelings or possibly done something they wish I hadn’t.

I think to myself…..what am I going to do, one day, where I am going to let you down. Even Nemo in the Kids movie ‘Finding Nemo’ said I hate you to his dad, do you remember?

My heart breaks knowing that I won’t be a perfect mom where they will grow up and say their childhood was perfect. It’s unrealistic. That’s not going to happen. I will make mistakes. I know I will, because I already do make mistakes, feel guilt, and have regrets.

It’s something inevitable, it’s going to happen.

Can you think of anything that your parent said to you or did that you have never forgot? Whether it’s big or small you remember exactly how it made you feel. 

I have 3 things I will say to my children often that I hope will always bind us together and strengthen our relationships as years come and go.

I hope by saying these things often my children will have peace of mind and not be severely impacted and haunted for years to come by my actions or words that I have no idea will influence my child in the future.

They are below.

  • I LOVE YOU

I want to make sure I am saying this as much as possible to each child of mine. I hope my child never questions how much love I have for them. It’s not enough to just say it, but telling them why I love them. Expressing to them the joy they bring into my life. Sharing lessons they have taught me. WE know we love our children, but sometimes they don’t hear it enough or feel it enough. They need to hear it and feel it.

  •  I AM PROUD OF YOU

I don’t want to just say those words after they accomplish something like a good grade on a test or a tournament won. I want to say these words just because. I don’t want my children to think they always have to impress me or accomplish something grand to hear these words. I will be proud of them everyday and I want them to know how proud I am to be their Mother.

  • I AM SORRY

This is a huge one. Being a parent, it’s hard to admit our faults. Especially, to our children. We don’t want to admit that we made a mistake or take ownership for something that we have done, because honestly…..sometimes we think we are in the right. WE think we are, but from a child’s perspective it’s completely different.

A child isn’t expecting an apology from their parent, but sometimes they need to hear it to move forward and let that burden go. I plan on saying sorry often. Sorry if I hurt their feelings, sorry if I couldn’t make their soccer game, sorry for saying NO, sorry for not being cool enough, just sorry. I will always be sorry any time I have upset them but I hope one day they will realize why I did the things I did, why I didn’t do the things they wanted and why I am who I am. I know there will be times that they need to hear this from me, and my hope is they can always forgive me

I know I will never be the best, but I will never give up trying to be the best that I can be.

Parenting is hard…..but it’s also the best gift in the world. A true gift from God and a blessing.

mother and daughter on grass
Photo by Daria Obymaha on Pexels.com

 

Thank you for reading! 🙂

 

 

Be Enlightened-Share Your Growth

“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.”

-Napoleon Hill


I have always enjoyed writing. Not always anything specific, but just simply writing. It’s very therapeutic and relieving for me. I have tons of notebooks laying around with the most random things written in them as we speak. I get a good chuckle here and there when I rummage through and read them, and other times, lets just say I find myself blushing from embarrassment. What would my husband or kids think if they read this right now….lol oh gosh.

Something I really, really, REALLY, regret doing is throwing away my teen journals. I was so taken back, a lot of the things I wrote were very personal and not the fondest memories when I would re-read my entries. They brought back pain or humiliation that I didn’t want to re-experience every time I re-read them. So like a dummy, I threw them away.

However, now that I am older and more “mature” I would really love to go back and re read what I was feeling in those days and compare to where I am now in my life.

But unfortunately those journals are long gone. It truly breaks my heart, but the lesson I learned in that is don’t throw away your writings. No matter what pain or grief some of your writings may bring, don’t toss them.

Your writings are your own little time capsule and it’s a great way to reflect on how far you’ve come. You may even learn a thing or two from well, YOURSELF.

With all that being said, a couple of days ago I was exploring all the notes I had stored in my phone. When something comes to mind I like to write it down so I don’t forget. 

I stumbled across a list of  my own lines that are ‘life advice’ related that I feel like sharing. After reading my ‘life advice’ I was wondering what the hell I was reading at that moment of writing these lol. They surprised me a little.

I consider myself pretty silly, but sometimes I can get pretty deep.

These are a few of my own little life lessons that I have learned through my own experiences. Maybe you can relate or you can apply my words into your life somehow.

Wishing you happiness and many blessings

Some life advice by yours truly


You can’t unscramble an egg once it’s been scrambled. But you know what you can do…..throw it into a burrito with some potatoes and cheese. 

You are going to make mistakes in your life. Mistakes and failures are inevitable. But that’s part of living. I’m sure you can think of a thing or two you wish you could take back but you can’t go back and hit any type of rewind button. However, you can control your reaction to the matter and how you plan on handling it. Think before you act, and hear the words in your head before you speak are to name a few. Remember, you can’t unscramble an egg once it’s been scrambled. But again, just because it’s scrambled now doesn’t mean you cant make a bad situation a good situation.

Don’t let every decision be like picking a paint color.

First of all, have you ever picked paint colors? It’s a little bit of nightmare, especially when trying to agree on colors with your significant other.

Don’t allow little simple decisions in your life to cause you any type of stress or anxiety. Whatever you pick may not be what you wanted, but be open to surprises and open to embracing something new. And always be confident in whatever you choose. It may not be what you thought…it may be better.

If you were granted a new life you would soon realize it’s not at all what you really wanted.

You are exactly where you need to be. Everything that has happened in your life thus far has been apart of the shaping of where you are now and will continue to shape you through the rest of your life. You would be surprised how much would be taken away in your life right now if you were to have a different life. A different path taken in the past wouldn’t lead you to where you are now. Look for the things in your life right now to be grateful for. And if you’re wishing for a new life, you’re spending too much time comparing your life to someone else’s. Especially…..ESPECIALLY someone on social media. 

Plan on things not going according to plan.

Isn’t this how the cookie always crumbles? It’s usually in your favor or against your favor. It ends up going better then planned or maybe worse. Accept that that is just how it is and laugh at it. Continue to make plans in life and don’t ever stop but if something changes along the way welcome the surprise whether it be good or bad. Whatever happened or happens, has a reason…..whether you know the result of it or not.

Your heart will always lead you in the right direction. It’s up to you to listen to it. 

Our hearts are often ignored. We humans are very fragile, easily manipulated, and very persuasive. Whatever is going on in your life should always be reevaluated from time to time. Our lives get so busy it’s important to pause, take a step back, and recognize where you are. Are you where you want to be…what is it that you truly want in this life.

Allow yourself some alone time with no distractions and listen to what your heart is telling you. You may not be happy with what is saying. No one else knows what your heart is saying but YOU. You are also the only one that can obey it. Whether you listen or not, it has a voice for a reason.

But how does it make you feel?

This is a question to ask yourself often. This question can be asked with almost every little thing that you do. If whatever it is, is making you angry, sad, hurt, bored, frustrated, etc. anything negative basically…it’s time to figure it out. Those types of things in life that aren’t providing happiness and joy are only going to hold you back from reaching even more happiness and joy in your life. Doesn’t necessarily mean you need to “let it all go” but it’s time to look for a solution to change that feeling. It is possible to turn the most dull tasks into pleasant ones. Get creative and open your heart and mind to inspiration.

Scars are medals of obstacles conquered. 

We are often ashamed of our scars. Doing our best to hide them so no one knows the truth. For some, the cut has been so deep they have a difficult time even acknowledging it’s existence.

Be proud of your scars. Your scars tell a story that no one else can. A scar is also something no one else can take away from you. It is yours and you should be owning it. Don’t be afraid or feel a need to hide your scars. Inspire others with your story. You are strong and courageous. You are still here.

Cry with your wounds, for one day the sun shall shine bright again.

Hard things are going to happen in your life. Really hard things. Hard things that leave you gasping for air and leave you feeling alone and confused. When those things happen, cry with your wounds and broken heart. Let your tears fall and feel all those emotions that are ripping through your soul.

Through this horrific rainstorm remember the promise of the rainbow. The sun will shine bright again, it will. Even when it feels like it never ever will. The sun will shine bright again.

Always say thank you, ALWAYS.

First of all, it’s just good manners to say thank you. Second, nobody owes you anything. I know that sounds a little harsh, but no one owes you anything in this life. Everything is earned and worked for.

People do nice things because they want to, not because they have to. Saying thank you often will take you farther then someone who does not appreciate nice gestures.

You always have enough to give.

Whether it be your time, your energy, or even your last dollar…..you will always have enough to serve another person. You get what you give. Plus, it’s proven that giving to others provides more happiness in your life.

There is more then one right way to do something. Be confident in YOUR WAY.

We don’t live in a black and white world. We live in a world that is full and colorful. No one in the world is you, and no one can do things like YOU do. Rather then trying to follow the crowd, discover your own way and be confident in your own direction or method. Be willing to share that way with others. But encourage others your way isn’t the only way. Help others find THEIR way. The destination may be the same, but the path doesn’t have to be. Find the path that matches YOUR needs.

You don’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.

Things happen in life that are unpredictable.

These types of incidents are a blessing in disguise. You may realize it sooner or you may realize it ten years later. Maybe even later. Be grateful when you can recognize it.

We are always provided the tools we need to help us and guide us in this life. May not come in the prettiest wrapping but all things are gifts. Some things have to happen in order for other things to happen. Please remember, that God loves you. He can see the whole picture, we can’t. Trust him.


I would love to hear from! Share your growth!

Do you have any life advice to share or maybe something someone told you that you never forgot!

Please comment with any thoughts or concerns! Have a great day! Thank you for stopping by!

-Marie Elizabeth

 

 

 

 

Make The Time To Celebrate YOU More – YOU Deserve It

When your child is doing exceptional in school or decides to do their chores without being told you reward them and you rave about it.

When your stubborn, little toddler finally goes potty all by themselves, you praise them, sing hallelujah, and you have a happy dance party, right?

When your husband actually listens and does what you ask him to do for once he gets lucky (wink, wink) and, you REMEMBER this moment. #isthisreallife

When your best friend surprises you and pays the tab for the drinks you acknowledge them, and you pay the tab on the next go around.

When your coworker covers your shift so you can attend a family event, you recognize them with their favorite coffee or a thank you card. At least I hope you do.

Are we sensing a pattern here yet?

Whenever someone does good, we remember, acknowledge, and we give love. We celebrate!

However……..

There is someone in your life that has been neglected for quite some time. This person definitely deserves some praise and acknowledgement.

WITHOUT DOUBT, this person has earned their right to treat and celebrate themselves, damn it!

This person is hardworking, dedicated, and constantly putting others needs, happiness, and demands above their own.

If you haven’t figured it out, that person is you! YES, YOU! I am talking to you!

It’s time to celebrate YOU! It’s time to give a little back to yourself! It’s time to enjoy oneself as they say!

You put up with, and have put up with, a lot of shit. You know it, and I know it. Even your pets probably know it. They do don’t they…..

Your needs are just as important, your hard work needs to be acknowledged, and you need to be doing good for yourself because like I mentioned previously, you’ve earned it! And I’m reminding you!


TIME TO PAINT THE TOWN RED FRIEND!

Before we do so, let’s do a toast:

To celebrating the miracle that you are.

To giving thanks to all the things and people that have served you.

To recognizing that everything about you is precious and unique.

To acknowledging and accepting that there is no one else like you, and that this is a beautiful thing.

And to always enjoy all of life’s offerings.

Babe, it’s time to Celebrate You. CHEERS.


It’s time to stop putting your needs and wants to the side, and it’s time to stop acting like what you do everyday is not extraordinary.

Every day, is a miraculous day if you are still breathing.

Reward yourself, treat yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself.

Celebrating you from time to time is only going to benefit you and those around you. The better mood you’re in, the better you will be to everyone else. That’s kind of common sense, right? Yet, here most of us are, putting ourselves last and not acknowledging all the amazing things we have done so far in our lives!

You’re not being selish. Don’t think that. You are taking care of you, and you are realizing that you are important too.

HOW DO I START CELEBRATING MYSELF? (It’s been that long or I’ve never really done that)

  • First, stop being so hard on yourself and thinking you’re undeserving of a few favors now and then. You are here and living, that alone deserves some recognition and appreciation.
  • Second, don’t always expect others or wait for others to treat you or celebrate your accomplishments (big or small). It is not up to other people to make you happy. Recognize the hard work that YOU have done and reward and celebrate yourself.
  • Third, think back to your childhood and write down what you really enjoyed doing when you were young. Begin to incorporate those things back into your life. Guard your time to do what you enjoy. That is treating yourself.

THE OUTCOME?

You will be happier. And aren’t we all striving for this?

It will open new doors for you, a happier you will benefit all the relationships in your life, you will become more productive, and you’ll want to help others see the value in themselves.

You will be able to help others recognize that they are important and worthy of celebrating themselves.

You will reap the benefits of guarding your time to celebrate, you. In taking the time to celebrate you and recognizing your blessings, you will be blessing others.

Maybe you celebrate yourself all the time. If you do, that is fantastic! Continue doing it and don’t ever stop! If you are not in this position, you may know someone who needs to hear this. Let them know they are deserving and encourage them to do great things for themselves.

Some people just need a little word of encouragement to get them doing what they enjoy doing again. In some way, you should be celebrating YOU everyday.

Treat yourself, take care of yourself, celebrate yourself, love yourself. 

AND If you needed a sign to do something nice for yourself, let this be your sign!!

With all this being said, don’t be so hard on yourself. Have an amazing day and go give YOU some lovin’.

-xoxo

m.g. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Your Kids Are Distracting You And Your Spouse From Spending Quality Time Together

Remember how much freedom you and your spouse had before you had kids? Sleeping in together, staying out late, going wherever and whenever you wanted, you can recall I’m sure. Now your schedules are almost entirely planned around your kids. And you notice how you’re always busy now? It’s crazy right.

Having kids completely changes your lifestyle and it changes your relationship with your significant other.

You will face many challenges together with raising children. In this post I am only going to discuss one challenge and share with you what has worked for my husband and myself.

The Challenge:

Distracting you and your spouse from spending quality time together.

When you have kids, it can be a little challenging to maintain that one on one time with your spouse. With dates and intimacy.

It’s so important to keep your relationship thriving even when you have children. Let this be an opportunity to get creative and step outside your box.

My husband and I love our daughters so much. They are our world. However we do have moments where we reminisce about how spontaneous we were in the past and how completely oblivious we were to our freedom.

It’s amazing how you don’t really recognize how much freedom you have until a child enters your life.

Something we both have learned with having kids is time together has to be planned and scheduled.

Of course that’s not how it is all the time, but I would say a majority of time if we want to be alone it has to be planned in advance.

Just because you and your spouse have kids now doesn’t mean the love needs to be let go. Your relationship still needs to be a priority. And yes, it will take more work then what it did in the past.

I’m sure some of you are thinking, well I don’t have a baby sitter, or our schedules are so different, or possibly, I try but he isn’t willing, etc,

As I mentioned previously, this is an opportunity to get creative.

If you can’t get a babysitter or don’t feel comfortable leaving your children yet don’t sweat it. That was exactly how my husband and I were. We would have “at home dates” and still do! I would have our girls skip nap time so they would go to sleep early so we could spend time together, just me and him.

(As I said, we still do this. Some of the evenings of just eating ice cream together or watching something on TV take me and him back to the old days.)

When your schedules are different you need to take advantage of every moment together.

For example: You two only have mornings together. Maybe share coffee together and do a question of the day about one another. Remember, step outside the box.

(Note: Stay off your phones when you two are together. How many times have you witnessed a couple out together and they are both on their phones. Talk, listen, hold hands, BE PRESENT.)

Both of you need to be willing to try new things. If one of you is trying and one of you isn’t, there may be a deeper issue that needs to be resolved.

In that case, I might suggest help from a professional.

Discuss Your Relationship.

You two need to be on the same page and open to embracing this new chapter in your relationship. You won’t have to be so creative forever or plan every moment together forever. Your children are going to grow up.

But are you both happy right now? Have you sensed that you two are drifting apart or something just feels different. More then likely both of you aren’t getting enough attention from one another.

If these emotions have occurred this is your relationship craving some immediate attention. If you’re reading this there’s good possibility you’re in this situation.

In a nutshell I am saying, TAKE ACTION. Don’t allow your children to be the excuse anymore. 


Here Are A Few Moments To Always Take Advantage Of:

  • Bed time
  • Nap time
  • When they are on a play date or at a friends or with family
  • When they are glued to a game or YouTube
  • A Family Gathering
  • A birthday party
  • When they fall asleep in the car
  • In the morning before they wake up
  • When they head to school

…you get the idea.

These are all opportunities where you two can discuss something, plan something, do something, etc. Both kids fell asleep in the car? Go get something in the drive-thru, pull over, and enjoy it together. Kids are sleeping? uh, HELLO! Have some private time. At a gathering of some sort? There’s enough adults watching the kids, get playful. You can still be spontaneous, it will just be in a different way.

Also, it’s definitely more then OK to put other things on pause to give your spouse the attention they deserve and need.

Keep the sizzle and have fun. You’ll be laughing about these moments in the future and sharing them with your children.

A book I would highly recommend to strengthen your relationship with your spouse is titled The 5 Languages Of Love by Gary Chapman.

I definitely recommend this book even if your relationship is thriving right now! It’s an amazing eye opener and will bring you two even closer.

What works for you and your spouse, I’d love to hear it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s A Different World For A Female – 5 differences along with a positive outlook

Not too long ago I  had some type of weird pressure, heavy feeling, located on my C-section scar. So of course like most people I turned to google and found many other women who experienced the same sensation with their scar.

Some said they felt the pressure a couple of days before their menstrual cycle, some said it’s normal and never goes away, and a few said to get it checked out.

After reading a few responses I just sat there dumbfounded, and began to think about the hardships of being a women. Or, the inconveniences some may say.

I looked at my husband and said, “You know what, sometimes it’s hard being a woman.”

He kind of laughed at my random comment and said something a long lines of, “do you want to be a man then?”

When I said that to him I just started thinking about the difficulties of being female and then I thought about my daughters. I thought about what they will experience and what they will go through as they get older in life….I pray, I just pray.

I’m not complaining just so you know, I really enjoy being a woman. I believe there are many great upsides to being a female. Although, I can’t help but wonder if I was a guy for a year if I’d still enjoy being a female. I don’t know. But I do know that it’s different world for us.

And hey, men can argue it’s a different world for them too. Which in some ways it is I’m sure. I may do a google search on this later on a mans perspective. I’m a little intrigued now. 

ANYWAYS……….

I asked my nephews once if they would ever want to be female and they all responded with a strait up NO. I asked why and their response was “I don’t know”. One of them did say because I don’t want to give birth (hahah).

Lol yeah, I can understand the fear of that. However given birth I also know it’s an experience that can’t really be described.

But as I was saying it’s a completely different world for us if you ask me. To some it’s VERY DIFFERENT. Every woman has her own story.

Here are a just 5 reasons why I believe it’s different for us (Not saying there isn’t more but this what I came up with at the moment)

  1. We Are Constantly Judged And Compared

We are constantly judged on pretty much everything that we do, that most of the time we aren’t even ourselves. Pretty sad. We are competing with another person and in reality, they are competing with someone else. We are trying to be what others want or what we THINK they want.

We are judged on our appearance, what we wear, who are friends are, who are family is, what we say, what we do, etc. Believe it or not, this starts when we are children! Although we aren’t just judged by others, with all of this judging and comparing we begin to fall into this black hole that results in us comparing and judging ourselves. Where as we should always be loving ourselves. But unfortunately that’s not something that is really taught.

2. We Live In Some Type of Weird Comfortable Fear

We know we can’t walk the streets at night by ourselves, we know we can’t meet a new guy somewhere isolated, we prefer females doctors over males, we are careful not to expose too much, we hold our keys between our fingers or carry pepper spray when walking to our car at night, we know to be careful with our drinks at a party, and so on.

We know these things because we are aware of the possible outcomes if we don’t follow these ‘principles’. A little ridiculous to call these principles but we know if we follow these tips they will less likely lead us into harm.

We are seen as easy targets, vulnerable, weak…..and we have to be careful. Being female we know this is how it is and that we have to be completely cautious. Being alert just becomes a way of life.

3. We feel ALL THE FEELS aka We Welcome Our Emotions Differently

As a women I feel, we feel so deeply. We are so in tune with our emotions and expressing ourselves……that it’s exhausting. It almost feels like the rest of the world doesn’t understand. Except other women HA. We are incredibly sensitive creatures with so much to say. We are constantly thinking and just wanting to feel loved and appreciated. We are also incredibly empathetic which I feel takes a toll on us sometimes because we just feel the pain and suffering of others that it just resonates with us.

We are such emotional, and we are known for that. It just who we are. And sometimes, we just feel so much we don’t even know what to do with all these feelings.

4. BODY

Well, as I mentioned we are constantly judged on the way our bodies look. Boob size, butt size, flat tummy, blah blah blah……..a few things many women are insecure about.

I wonder why…

But its not just insecurity. Our bodies remind us once a month that we are women.

Cramps, PMS, tampons, pads, these cycles aren’t exactly convenient for us.

Remember I mentioned childbirth previously? It really is an amazing, indescribable experience. But pregnancy and birth do a number on your body.

The woman’s body is….something very unique and I feel it should be cherished more. No matter what it looks like or has gone through.

5. Half The Time, We Aren’t Taken Seriously

It’s when we use a certain tone or stance and THEN people stop what they are doing and listen or pay attention. But what’s so aggravating about that is we have to use that “certain tone” or whatever to get noticed or heard.

It’s ridiculous.

After a while we get sick of playing nice. We don’t want to do things the hard way or “mean way”, we don’t want to “unleash the beast’  but as a woman, its almost always this way if we want to make or see a change in something. It’s effing annoying.


So yes, this is why I feel it’s a different world for us, however let me share some positive sides to these differences. 

  1. Yes, we are always judged but when you learn to love yourself  as a women…..it is the most liberating and powerful thing. You become unstoppable and fearless.
  2. We do live in a world where we have to be cautious and careful but I also feel because of this we get to experience more acts of kindness which makes us even BETTER WOMEN. We get our doors opened for us, we get to go first, we receive help when needed, etc…….BECAUSE WE ARE WOMEN.
  3. We do feel so deeply, but I think most women will agree that feeling so deeply is such a privilege. Yeah, feeling hurt and heartache sucks. But feeling love and joy is so amazing. We give all of our heart to things that matter to us and love like no other. That is something very special about us.
  4. It’s pretty normal that we feel insecure about our bodies. But it’s when we finally learn to love this amazing tool that GOD gave us that we gain this type of confidence. And its a beautiful thing that nobody can ever take away.
  5. It is unfortunate to not be taken seriously when we “talk soft”, or to be taken seriously, THE FIRST TIME. However, we know when we need to roar the ground will shake. It scares people, and we love it. Sometimes we even scare ourselves with our own strength and that’s pretty amazing when that happens. We then become unstoppable.

 

A Message To The Females:

.

.

.

.

.

.

DARLING,

JUST

FUCKING

OWN

IT.

purple lipstick
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@rereelizabeth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9 Grocery Shopping Tips, For A Stress-Free Trip Every time

Every week or every other week most of us will find ourselves at the grocery store. We are either shopping for ourselves, our family, maybe a family gathering coming up, a pot luck, a birthday party….the list goes on.

We have to eat and let’s be real, grocery stores are incredibly convenient! How fortunate are we to have a store that supply’s our food, and does the hard work for us! Huge thank you to the farmers and businesses out there that make providing meals to my family easy and simple! We appreciate you!

But, to be completely honest, grocery shopping isn’t exactly my favorite task to do. I tend to overspend, buy unnecessary items, having crying or antsy toddlers with me, and it usually makes a miserable shopping trip. Which is why I would typically cringe when it was time to make my way to the store.

However I have since then “gained experience” and have figured out ways to have a pleasant trip every time whether I am by myself or with my kids. As well as save money and leave feeling satisfied after every check out.

Below I have 9 tips that will provide ease for your grocery shopping trips and make it stress-free every time. 

 


  1. MAKE A GROCERY LIST…stick to it and don’t forget it!

This kind of seems like a no brainer but many people don’t make a list before they shop. I use to be one, I’ll admit it. My very organized husband got me into the habit of making a list every time and for that I am so grateful!

Many eye their fridge and cabinets and assume they will remember everything they need. Unfortunately, it’s not until they are already home where they realize they forgot the most important stuff. ugh! Talk about the worst! If you are going with your kids a list is crucial! As kids are super distracting when trying to shop for necessary items.

When you make your list try to categorize your items with the different aisles or sections. That way you aren’t running around from one side of the store to another. We’ve all been there, and it’s very frustrating.

tip: Throughout the week keep a pen and paper handy in your kitchen. When you notice you are out of something or in need of something write it down so you don’t forget it on your list. Once this habit is installed you won’t ever forget your list and you will get into the habit of only buying what you need. 

2. Avoid Grocery Shopping On The Weekends

Why would I say avoid grocery shopping on the weekends…because it’s usually busy AF.

If you decide to shop on the weekends you should expect crowds, long lines and bagging your own groceries. Don’t even get me started with bagging my own groceries.

I personally enjoy grocery shopping when it’s less busy and I’m not having to squeeze past people.

tip: If you can only shop on the weekends I suggest going early morning or late evening. It’s so peaceful and there’s barely anyone. My personal favorite.

3. Review The Weekly AD

Let the AD become your grocery shopping companion. You should get the grocery AD once a week in your mailbox. That’s like your grocery shopping jackpot. It tells you what’s on sale, displays items that have digital coupons and more!

Another thing I never took advantage of that my husband got me into. He rocks.

Once we get the AD I review it and circle whatever interests I have in the AD. It’s a great way to save money and who doesn’t like to save money. Every penny counts these days.

tip: Download the APP for your grocery store. Not all coupons are advertised, always check the APP as well for more money saving deals. 

4. Don’t Go To The Grocery Store HUNGRY

Grocery shopping and hunger are just not a good mix as most of us know. I will throw everything in the shopping cart when I am hungry and it’s usually not the healthiest food.

I highly advise avoiding hunger shopping if at all possible. It’s one way to avoid spending more money then you intended.

tip: Eat before you go, and feed your children before you go. If you must, bring a few snacks with you.

5. Get A Rein Check

Have you ever seen a smokin deal and you go to look for the product and its completely gone!! Like what gives!! It happens every once in awhile and when this happens ask for a rein check!

I had never heard of a grocery shopping rein check before. I gotta say, I love employees that inform their shoppers of things they have been missing out on.

When there is a great deal going and you find out they are out of stock you feel like you missed out. However, you don’t have to miss out anymore, just ask for a rein check.

At check out let your cashier know what you need a rein check on and they will provide a small slip that will honor that price for a certain amount of time, so next time you go to the store and see the product, you will still get the sale price! CHA-CHING.

tip: To avoid this mishap go shopping in the morning or find out your grocery stores restock days.

6.  Take The Free Food To Distract Your Kids

You fed your kid or kids and they are still being squirmy. You have to mentally prepare when shopping with your kids. They are like little ticking time bombs. And if you’re lucky, they don’t explode.

I love our grocery store because in the produce department we have a little thing set up for kids that offers free fruit. I didn’t know about this until an actual produce guy walked me over and showed me. It has been a lifesaver in many occasions. Our bakery also gives out free cookies! You have to ask for a cookie, it’s not advertised, but again, lifesaver.  And SOMETIMES there’s even an older man making popcorn for people!

All you have to do is ask the employees.

Not all stores do it because of allergies but its worth finding out if your store offers some goodies to keep your children distracted for a bit. And it’s also something for them to look forward to, IF they behave.

tip: If your grocery store doesn’t offer anything like this ALWAYS bring a few snacks OR let them bring a play shopping cart. One of my daughters loves to push around her shopping cart. I put a few items in there and I know she loves that she’s helping. GREAT DISTRACTION.

7. Bring A Shopping Buddy

A shopping buddy is essential for me. I have two toddlers and I just never like to chance it with them. Even before I had kids I would invite friends to shop with me. We would grab a coffee, catch up and shop together. It definitely makes the trip more enjoyable.

My parents help me big time with my shopping trips. It’s a fun way to spend time with their grandkids and they get their shopping done too. It’s a win win.

tip: If you bring a buddy break your list in half. One goes one way, one goes the other and you get out of the store in half the time! Score! Treat them to a happy hour! Or invite them over and make them a meal.

8. Create A Meal Plan For The Week

Meal planning will help you avoid food going to waste. I’m not saying you need to have a meal planned from Monday-Sunday, even I’m not that organized. Although I wish I was…….*sigh*

What I’m saying is review your pantry, fridge, cabinets, lazy susan, etc before you go shopping. Look for the items that have just been sitting there for quite some time, make sure they aren’t expired, and search on pinterest or google for meal ideas for that particular food item.

For example, right now I have bread crumbs that have sitting around for however long, a can of pumpkin, and a bag of beans. So, maybe this week I’ll make a meatloaf, a pumpkin chocolate chip bread, and, bean and cheese burritos.

On my grocery list I’ll add the additional ingredients I need to get to make those specific meals.

Too often we buy items and they just end up sitting there till they expire! What a waste of money! Or they get buried between other items and we completely forget about them! It does happen, but you can avoid this by reviewing your cabinets and meal planning.

Tip: Review your Pantry once a week or every 2 weeks to avoid clutter in your cabinets and fridge. As well as avoiding wasted food. And search on pinterest for meal ideas when you can’t think of anything to make with something specific you have. I absolutely love pinterest for this very reason!

9. Have A Budget In Mind

Have a budget in mind, but allow yourself a little wiggle room in case you go over. There have been times I have been embarrassed to tell my husband how much I have spent in groceries. Partly because I didn’t follow these previous tips.

I would go hungry, I would buy things we already had but I forgot, I wasn’t taking advantage of the deals or coupons that I had, if it looked good or sounded good I would buy it, and overall I just wasn’t being the greatest shopper with what I was buying.

Buy only items you need or will use and start keeping track on the average amount of money you are spending. Whatever items you buy often, (exp. milk, bread, butter, peanut butter, etc.)  stock up when it’s on sale.

Going in with a budget will provide peace of mind and allow you to be more in control and less stressed at check out because you already know how much you will be spending.

tip: On many of the grocery apps it tells you exactly how much an item is. You can make a your grocery list and have a total before you even go. If you need to adjust it, you can do it so it fits your family’s budget before you shop.

 

person carrying basket of vegetables
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That’s all I have folks. If you have any other tips or tricks for a more pleasant grocery shopping trip please comment! I’d love to hear how it can get better!

 

HAPPY SHOPPING! Wishing you stress free trips every time!

 

 

 

15 MUST DO’S Every Fall Season

Fall is one of my favorite times of the year. It’s the closing of a chapter while beginning a new one.

A time to celebrate and embrace the change that surrounds us. The external and the internal.

Fall is a cocktail made of comfort, peace, and complete gratitude. Always sure to give you the warm and fuzzies.

I have put together a list to make every Fall memorable for you and your family or friends!


15 MUST DO’S Every FALL

1. VISIT THE PUMPKIN PATCH

 I feel like this is a given but I know it’s not! I had only ever gone to the pumpkin patch when I had my first born. Before that I just never went. Why? I have no idea! I always just got my pumpkin at the grocery store or some little pumpkin stand on the side of the road. But oh my goodness, the pumpkin patch is its own experience! They are so fun!

Go with your family or a group of friends for a great time! You won’t be sorry!

Note: Most of the pumpkin patches in town or in your town have special features or special events on specific dates. Be sure to look it up and take advantage! Start planning now and mark your calendar.

2. Carve/Paint Pumpkins

Okay, I mention this because how many of you leave the pumpkin carving to someone else. Guilty! I NEVER carve the pumpkin, I don’t know why. Probably because my husband is way better at it than me but this year I am determined!

Make it a contest with your family members or host a pumpkin carving party! Most grocery stores offer pumpkin carving kits to make it that much easier for you!

3. Toast Pumpkin Seeds

What to do with all those seeds after carving that beautiful pumpkin….hmmmm.

Don’t throw away the pumpkin seeds after carving your pumpkin! TOAST THEM! You can find such delicious recipes online! Plus pumpkin seeds are actually really good for you. Toss them in a salad or use as some type of fall recipe topping. Yum.

4. HOST A BONFIRE and make s’mores

Nothing says Fall like a bonfire and some s’mores!

If you don’t want to host one that’s ok, encourage one of your friends to host one! Spend the evening with your friends or family reminiscing while being cozy near the fire.

Maybe add some spiked cider in there as well.

5. Take Advantage Of Everything SEASONAL

I’m talking seasonal. Examples would be soaps, candles, foods, events, drinks,you get the idea! Everything SEASONAL!

All these things are only here for a limited time so if you enjoy Fall stuff as much as me then I suggest stocking up! Pumpkin candles and flavors are my absolute favorite! And of course all the Fall flavors that come out at Starbucks.

6. Make A Homemade Apple Pie

When I think fall I think apples and pumpkins. Make an apple pie or pumpkin pie from scratch! And share it with a friend.

7. Try 3 New “Fall” Recipes

Pinterest is full of fall recipe inspiration! Pick at least 3 new recipes to try!

Here’s something to get you started, PUMPKIN SPICE DONUT BITES

Make some for your friends or your neighbors! You know they will love it!

8. Get A Massage

I really don’t know if getting a massage is a Fall thing. But I could really use a professional full body massage and I’m making it a note to get one!

9. GET CRAFTY

I know you have it in you!

Make a fall wreathe, knit a scarf, get started on a homemade Halloween costume. If you visit Michaels or Hobby Lobby you are SURE to find something fun to make or get started on!

10. Get Started On Christmas Shopping!

Where are my procrastinators at! Just start, do it! Begin that list ! This is what I’m telling myself!

I can’t be doing last minute Christmas shopping anymore. Fall is for shopping.

11. Make A Fall Drink

Oh man, there are so many festive drinks out there! One for whatever you are craving. Invite a friend over and have a cocktail hour!

I have my eye on caramel apple sangria!

12. Get Cozy With A Good Book Or Two

Snuggly jammies, coffee, and a good book. A perfect Fall recipe for any time of the day.

13. Plan Family Pictures

I personally think Fall is the perfect time for family pictures. I love Fall apparel, I love Fall colors, and I love the scenery that takes place in the Fall.

Plus, if you take Fall family pictures they can also serve as your Christmas card picture, if you choose to do them!

14. Go To A Festival

So many fun events take place in the Fall and it’s time to take advantage.

Do a search on google or social media to find out what will be happening in your town or city!

15. Enjoy A Getaway

Take time for yourself or with your family or friends. Whether it be a staycation or a full blown trip. Take some time to escape and enjoy! You definitely deserve it.

My husband and I love camping and about two years ago we went to Disneyland in the Fall, which was a real treat. If you love Disneyland and Fall then you NEED to plan a trip ASAP if you haven’t already experienced FALL AT DISNEYLAND.

 I hope this list inspires you in some way! What will you be doing this Fall!?

Whatever you do, enjoy it surrounded with family and good friends.