“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
– Carl Jung
Why do we sometimes get triggered by our children’s emotions?
One word: Projection.
It sounds simple, but it’s layered and deeply human. Projection means we unconsciously place our own unresolved feelings onto others—often without realizing it. And with parenting, this tends to show up when our kids express emotions we weren’t allowed to feel growing up.
When Their Emotions Stir Something In Us
Let’s say your child starts crying over something that seems small—maybe they can’t get their shoes on. You feel irritation rise. You say, “You’re fine. Stop crying. It’s not a big deal.”
But under that reaction might be this:
You weren’t allowed to cry when you were small. You were told to toughen up. Crying meant weakness. And now, when your child does what you weren’t permitted to do, it brings up old pain you never had space to process.
What you’re feeling isn’t just about their emotion—it’s about your history with that emotion.
How Do We Break the Cycle?
1. Pause Before Reacting
Even a brief pause creates space. In that moment, silently ask yourself:
“What am I feeling right now?” “Is this about them… or something unresolved in me?”
This small habit can change everything.
2. Get Curious Instead of Controlling
Shift from, “This needs to stop,” to, “What are they trying to express?”
Emotions are messages. Our children are not giving us a hard time—they’re having a hard time.
3. Reflect on Your Own Story
Later, when things are quiet, explore:
“Was I allowed to feel this as a child?” “What did I learn about emotions like anger or sadness?”
Self-awareness is the first door to healing.
4. Reparent Yourself as You Parent Your Child
When your child is upset, respond with:
To them: “It’s okay to feel that way. I’m here.” To yourself: “I wasn’t taught this, but I’m learning now. We’re both safe.”
You’re not just raising a child—you’re healing generations.
5. Offer Yourself Compassion
Getting triggered doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means there’s something inside you that’s asking to be felt, seen, and gently loved. The more grace you give yourself, the more you’ll have to give.
This work isn’t easy. But every time you choose to pause, to stay present, and to feel instead of react, you are breaking a cycle—and building a new legacy.
One where emotion is not feared, but welcomed.
One where your child feels safe to be fully themselves.
“Anger is like a child—you don’t want to let them drive the car, but you also don’t want to stuff them in the trunk.”
Anger can feel overwhelming, but with the right tools, we can learn to manage it with grace:
• Breathe. Stop and take a deep breath. This creates space between you and your reaction.
• Name it. Acknowledge your feelings: “I feel angry.” “I feel tension.” Naming emotions helps diminish their intensity.
• Do it differently. Try shifting your perspective. Say, “I’m hurting. How can I be kinder to myself and those around me?”
• Inquire. Anger often carries a message. With curiosity, ask yourself, “What is my anger trying to tell me? What action do I need to take? What am I avoiding or unwilling to face?”
This practice has been a lesson for me, especially as a parent. I’ve been guilty of brushing off my children’s feelings, saying things like, “It’s not that big of a deal,” or “Why are you so upset?” But I’ve realized these moments are opportunities—to help me better understand not only my children but also myself.
Dear anger, you’re not as crazy as I thought—you’re just trying to help me see something I’ve been missing.
There is so much power to affirmations. If/when we tell ourselves these things we actually trick our brains into believing it. We believe it and we then become it.
Currently I’m tricking my brain into believing that I am a patient mother. Which some days I am, but I know I can be better. When you joke that you were the hulk the other day that there is a cue for some personal growth improvement.
So recently when I’ve been having challenging moments with my girls and they are giving me some attitude I begin to say out loud, “I am a patient mother and I love my children.” I say it a few times even. And it truly helps me not to loose my cool. You have to say it out loud though. Trust me, it works.
I say these specifically when I feel myself going into fight or flight mode. A patient mother is something that I want to become. Patient and slow to anger. If I continue to identify with “patient mother” and that I am “slow to anger” I will become it.
Now, the same goes for the negative things that we tell ourselves. If we continue to speak negatively of ourselves, we then will believe that too. We have to really be mindful of the things that we tell ourselves and how we identify who we are.
We choose how we wish to identify ourselves. And if we are consistent with telling ourselves these affirming truths then great things will become of it.
If you want it, you must will it, and if you will it, it WILL be yours!”
Sven – Happy Feet 2
Say these specific affirmations below with your kids often and maybe have it printed out and hang it somewhere where they can read it often.
We are shaping the future! Kinda scary, right? I know we can do it though. We love our children and we only want the best for them. We want them to truly know in their hearts how special they are! We know it, but they need to know it and believe it too!
These affirmations will guide them in ways we can’t even imagine yet.
Peace be with you all and our children.
I am brave.
I am kind.
I am smart.
I am strong.
I am helpful.
I am beautiful.
I can do hard things.
I am grateful.
I am loved.
I know my worth.
If there’s an affirmation that you feel should be included leave a comment!
I don’t know many moms that don’t enjoy chocolate. I love chocolate. I definitely inherited that from my mom. She always had a Hershey bar stashed somewhere. I feel like growing up I was always surrounded by chocolate. But never sees chocolate! One time a friend of ours gifted us a box of see’s chocolate and I’ve been hooked ever since! Requesting these on all occasions! Especially the truffles! Their chocolate truffles are so sweet and perfect! Your mom will love them! Trust me!
2. A Deep Tissue Massage
What mom doesn’t need a little relaxing moment. A moment away from the noise and a moment of focus on just being. Body massages don’t just feel good, they are also full of healing powers. We mothers are go go go, it’s rare when we get time for ourselves and it’s rare when we use our time to do something for ourselves. It just doesn’t normally happen! Your mom is busy! Get your mom a massage, she’ll love it and she deserves it.
3. Mani And Pedi
Moms need pampering too! I don’t know a mom who doesn’t enjoy getting her nails done once in awhile. It’s more than just getting the nails done, it’s a whole experience if at the right place! Do your research and get her a gift certificate to a good one! Read the reviews! They can really help with eliminating the bad places. Maybe, you can go with her. She’ll love that!
4. Gift Cards To Her Favorite Places (there’s nothing wrong with gift cards)
There’s seems to be some notion that gift cards are thoughtless. Well, as you get older I think many appreciate gift cards more vs. getting something that’s just really is not your style or vibe. Find out your moms favorite shops and give her the gift to choose! Moms love getting out! And what better excuse than, I really need to go use this gift card that my loving child got me. Or you could take her shopping yourself! Have a moment like in The Sweetest Thing where they are just having a blast trying on all these different types of clothes!
5. A Staycation (planned ahead)
First of all, if you plan this for your mom she’ll probably cry. Who doesn’t love a little getaway! And with her family, oh my goodness. Great memories are priceless. Now this is something you’ll have to plan ahead. Make a note for next year if it’s too late and maybe get dad involved! This is a great one she will really love! But tell her in advance so she can shop!
6. A Dinner Night With The Girls
Here’s what I’m thinking, maybe get her a little box with some wine or her favorite drink, a pair of new heels, and a dress, and write a note saying for your next girls night. Or call up her friends and get the friends involved! Get creative! I’m sure they would love that! You can also find certificates for wine tastings, or painting classes, just something that she can do with her friends!
7. Candles
Candles are the best. And these make great gifts. I don’t think any mom can have too many yummy smelling candles. They are soothing and comforting. Candles can be kinda pricey too which is why they make great gifts. The candles by Heart And Hearth at Target are wonderful!
8. Bath And Body Works Goodies
You cannot go wrong here. Soaps, hand creams, more candles, body sprays, etc. And it all smells so yummy! This is a great place to find a Mother’s Day gift when you’re in a rush! They usually have great deals too like buy 3 get one free, which means you get a little gift out of this too! Love this place!
9. A Meaningful Piece Of Jewelry
There can be deep meanings behind jewelry. This is a beautiful gift to put some thought into. Does she wear rings? Necklaces? Bracelets? What is she really into? Is there something specific that makes you think of your mom that can be put on a piece of jewelry? Maybe you can get matching jewelry. You two will feel close even when you aren’t together.
10. Pajamas/Comfy Clothes
There is no limit on pajamas and comfy clothes. Your moms going to love this gift. And you can find cute pajamas and comfy clothes everywhere! Even Amazon has some really cute clothes!
11. Flower Pots
If your mom is into plants she’ll really appreciate this gift! Many times we gift people plants but no flower pot! Or maybe your moms plants are thriving and she needs to repot! This would be perfect! Or maybe you can get her a plant and transport it yourself to a super cute flower pot. Either way, plant/flower pots are great for the green thumb mama.
12. Something Homemade
Let your artistic side shine and make something for your mom! I guarantee she’ll treasure it forever! Homemade gifts are such loving gifts. It shows that you put your love and energy and focus into something just for her. How can you not feel special when you receive a homemade gift. You’re going to make her cry! Tears of happiness of course.
13. Your Time
The best gift that you can give her, is your time. Spend time with your mom. Give yourself to her for the day and just be present with her. Whether it’s snuggling up and watching movies, going for a walk, making cookies together. Your time is more valuable than anything. You are enough. And your mom loves you so much. Tell her how much you love her, hug her, and repeat. Moms never get tired of hearing I love you mom.
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Charcuterie boards are so much fun! They are kind of like snowflakes, they are each unique in their own way. And what a way to display your creativity! I love it! This blog is specifically meat and cheese but I see myself sharing a sweets charcuterie board blog too in the future. So many possibilities!
I went to a wine tasting last weekend to celebrate a friends 35th birthday. There was a total of 5 of us and we all met because of our daughters. Our girls all met last year in kindergarten and now our little beauties are in first grade. It’s been so much fun developing these types of friendships and I’m so grateful.
Back to the wine tasting, one of the girls brought a prepared charcuterie board that we all got to enjoy and indulge in. A friends of hers actually creates them as a business!
Just sitting with the girls drinking some wine in the vineyards while snacking was pure bliss. If you’re a mom you know how badly you have to take some time for yourself to recharge your batteries.
The board we snacked on.My favorite is the spicy meat paired with a flavored goat cheese and crispy cracker. So yummy!
We all get excited about having a charcuterie board party. Maybe the wine was kicking in or we were just really hungry which resulted in this charcuterie board being the best thing ever. But this charcuterie board inspired this blog.
I share some layouts to help you with your charcuterie board party that you may be planning and some common pairings. You don’t have to follow it exactly but use this more as a guide and have some fun with it!
Thank you for reading and have fun charcutering! (I just made that up)
Charcuterie Board Visuals
Charcuterie Board Pairings And Tips
Would love to see your board! Share it with us on instagram!
Cute breakfast food art doesn’t have to just be for children! As I was searching for ideas for my girls I thought, you know what, my husband would loved these too.
Which is why the title is for ‘A Loved One’ .
I’m so excited to try some of these out.
Which numbers will you make?
Note: Most of these photos don’t have watermarks so I don’t know who should receive credit! If any readers know please let me know!
1.
This would be perfect for Valentine’s Day or maybe an anniversary.
2.
Cute little Owls.
3.
So simple! Bear cubs.
4.
A healthier kind of ice cream.
5.
Spring Pancakes!
6.
Imagine making this as a hint and surprising your kids with a trip to Disneyland!
7.
So cute!
8.
A bear that’s cute and you can eat!
9.
Piggy.
10.
Cheetah.
11.
Love the little strawberry sunflower.
12.
Perfect for our malt o meal breakfast days.
13.
Perfect if you love coconut flakes.
14.
This owl has beautiful eyelashes.
15.
Imagine being served this as a surprise breakfast :).
Here is a list of healthier snack options for whatever the need be. Whether it’s for you or your children you’ll be sure to find some good snack choices!
1. Sliced Apples With Peanut Butter Or Almond Butter
Apples are rich in fiber which means they are filling! Also a great snack for a child who may have a little constipation. When it comes to peanut butter stick with natural (check the ingrediants) some peanut butters have added sugars which is what you want to avoid. The apple has enough good sugar in it. If you’re not much of a peanut butter person almond butter is another great option that taste great on apple slices.
2. Multigrain Toast With Nutella, sliced strawberries and chia seeds
This is one of our favorites in our home. This makes for a great snack or hearty breakfast. The chia seeds is an added dose of fiber for your little to keep them full longer.
4. Sliced cucumbers; lightly salted
A little salt brings out the flavor. You can also take the cucumbers and serve it with a dip. Or on some avocado toast like the picture above! My kiddos love ranch. Some like to peel the skin I prefer to give them a good scrub and just slice them with the skin on. Most of the nutrients are found in, you guessed it, the skin.
5. Raisins
Some kids like them, some kids don’t. Try it out and see how they react! I forgot all about raisins until my kids came home with them from school. Obviously they weren’t too interested since they came home with them.
6. Pistachios
Yum. A snack I often forget about, but what a great snack! And if you ask me, highly addicting! Refrain from eating strait out of the bag and just put a handful in a bowl or small jar.
7. Beef Jerky
A great school snack for lunch time. Full of protein and something that keep you full until your next meal. There are so many different kinds and types. Beef jerky can be expensive, but if you ask me you get what you pay for when it comes to jerky. If you can afford to pay a little extra for the good stuff it’s worth it.
8. Dates or Prunes
Believe it or not one of my daughters LOVES prunes and dates. I tell her though she can’t too much though, otherwise she’ll have diarrhea. Am I lying?
9. Crackers (look for wheat or multigrain)
There are so many crackers to choose from. Specifically look for multigrain or wheat. Eat them plain or load them up with meat and cheese, peanut butter, hummus, tuna, whatever your little heart desires!
10. String cheese
String cheese is a child favorite. It’s delicious and it’s just fun! Who doesn’t enjoy pulling it apart and dangling it in your mouth like it’s spaghetti. I’m not the only one, right?
11. Almonds
This is great snack for on the go or lunches. Protein and fiber in a little nut. Eat them plain or flavor it up! Have you tried the wasabi and soy sauce ones!? So good!
12. Popcorn (lightly salted or buttered)
People forget about popcorn. As long as it is not saturated in butter and salt then it’s not that bad of a snack. We enjoy the smart food popcorn or just the lightly salted pop secret.
13. Trail mix
This was one of my favorite snacks back in the day. I actually don’t buy this too often because my kids right now will just pick out the m&m’s and leave the rest. Those little stinkers.
14. Yogurt/yogurt parfaits
Eat it plain, make a smoothie, make a parfait, mix it with fruit, granola, we love yogurt!
15. Applesauce
Perfect snack for school lunches. Opt for sugar free if you can. Add a little cinnamon, that’s our favorite.
15. Carrot sticks
Love me some carrot sticks! My kids enjoy dipping them in ranch! I’m always telling them it’s good for your eyes! Which they are! Carrots sticks are a great school lunch snack.
16. Celery sticks
I’m not going to lie, I’ve never really enjoyed celery sticks. But my husband likes them and so does one of my daughters. I know eating them with peanut butter is popular among the cool kids.
17. Chopped up fruit like strawberries, canalope, watermelon
Spice it up a little and add some tajin! If you’ve never tried tajin seasoning you need to try it. Or put a little whip cream on the fruit. Another thing to try is a yogurt dip. Of course eating them plain is good too.
18. Blueberries
“They help you poop.” I’m constantly saying this to convince them to eat their blueberries. My girls usually eat them as it but they are also yummy mixed with chopped strawberries. What a fun idea too to put them in an ice cream cone!
19. Sweet potato chips
When you’re craving something salty and crunch these make a great snack to curve that craving. And I believe this is something your child can get away with taking to school for sure! Store bought or try making them yourself!
20. Veggies straws
Another salt and crunchy snack to satisfy the craving. Light and airy. My kids love these. Preferably the ranch flavor. Usually found in the chip aisle at the grocery store.
21. Pretzels
Such a yummy salty snack. I like to put Nutella on the side for my girls or peanut butter. We also love DOTS highly addicting pretzels or the cheddar flavored ones. So good.
22. Granola
I like to make homemade granola. And my kids typically eat granola like they do cereal. They love when I make granola. I like that I get to control the content. Incredibly filling and great for constipation.
23. Chex Mix
Try making a Chex mix yourself! Get the kids involved! Homemade muddie buddies are so good!
24. Wasabi peas (if you can handle them)
These are so good! Might be more of a snack for you than your kids though. They have kick!
25. Ritz crackers with peanut butter
Another fan favorite. Perfect for on the go and I can count on it to fill my kids stomach. Make them yourself or let your child do it. Make it into a fun activity.
26. Grapes
Red or green. Which do you prefer? I know some parents like to put the grapes in the freezer. They say it taste like candy. You be the judge!
27. Avocados slices with everything bagel seasoning or soy sauce
So simple. So delicious. You don’t even need bread. Soy sauce also taste great. My two year old loves avocado slices with a little bit of soy sauce. Try it out !
28. Dried fruit such as mangos
Yum! Can’t get enough of dried mango! Perfect for snack time, lunches, or even car rides!
29. Smoothies
My go-to when I want to get some veggies in my kids. I also tend to sneak spinach in their somewhere and they don’t even notice. Or what I also love to throw in is avocado. It’s creates such a creamy texture. It’s delicious.
30. Banana chips
Buy them or make them yourself! I’ve never made them, but they can’t be that hard right? Right????
31. Peanut butter on a spoon
Sometimes you just gotta keep it simple. My kids love peanut butter on a spoon and I did as well when I was a kid.
32. Frozen banana pops
Break a banana in half, insert popsicle sticks, and freeze! If you really want to get creative you can dip in peanut butter or chocolate.
33. Oatmeal
I never considered oatmeal a snack but I guess it could be! My girls love strawberry and banana flavored oatmeal.
34. Hard boiled eggs
Have you ever had a hard boiled egg with everything bagel seasoning! This snack is full of protein and fun for the kids. What I mean by fun is kids enjoy picking the hard shell off. Snack time meet sensory activity. Win win lol!
Lunch meat once was one of my favorite snacks. I use to love bologna. Although being older I don’t eat it now I do enjoy turkey or ham and my kids do too. I’ll cut it in strips and let them eat it as is. They seem to enjoy it.
36. Pickles
What’s funny about pickles is I couldn’t stand them before but once I became pregnant I grew a love for them. I love pickles now. Strange right? Pickles don’t have to be just a snack you get at Disneyland!
37. Energy balls
Energy balls consist of oats, peanut butter, honey, flax seed, coconut, chocolate chips, all rolled up into a ball! NO BAKE Coconut Almond Oatmeal Bites
38. Hummus dip with crackers or veggies
There are so many different types of hummus dips you’ll be sure to find one your kiddo likes. Serve it them with some grainy crackers and fresh veggies.
39. Peanut butter and banana quesadillas
You know, I’ve never tried this. But I keep hearing good things. I need to make this!
40. Half of a Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Make your child a full sandwich. Cut in half. Pack one for school and the other half can be eaten after school. No food wasted.
41. Olives
My husband loves to snack on olives. I personally can’t eat them plain. On pizza, sure! A pasta? Yum!
42.Frozen fruit pops (check the sugar content)
So many different types of fruit pops. I think this would be a great after school treat. Save it for Friday’s!
43. Edamane
Typically we only eat these when we go out for sushi. But this is a great healthy snack to eat after school or whenever!
44. Baby Bell peppers with dip
45. Multi grain bread toasted with some unsalted butter (a little sugar and cinnamon – optional) and some sliced bananas
46. Cottage cheese
Honestly, I don’t eat cottage cheese. It’s the smell or texture….I just can’t. However my husband enjoys this and I know many others do as well which is why it’s on the list. I think many people eat it with fruit preserves.
47. Tuna Melts
This was my ultimate favorite childhood snack. Tuna, cheddar cheese, and tomato! So good!
48. Fig bars
Filling, delicious, full of fiber, a great snack that doesn’t make much of a mess either. Score!
49. Kiwi
When I was in grade school there was a girl who alway brought kiwi to school. I thought it was so pretty, the vibrant green. But my mom never got kiwi I have no idea why. Kiwi is so delicious! My girl love them! Eat them with a spoon, squeeze the fruit out, or slice it up.
50. Pretzel nuggets filled with peanut butter
I forgot about these! The little pretzel nuggets are a fan favorite! These are great for the lunch boxes or a snack after school.
If you have another healthy snack in mind please comment and let us know!
To my daughters; Demi, Ella, Wrenn. I love you girls so much. I scribbled these pieces in a notebook awhile back and I decided to share these and make it accessible to others who may need a little piece of advice.
May each of you continue to notice the lights in your life, always.
Pay attention to children. Study them and watch them with great intent. They will remind you how to live.
Always appreciate your surroundings. Compared to another, you may be living a dream.
Create friendships that will last a lifetime. Cherish that best friend you have, those kinds of friendships are like finding treasure.
It’s more than okay to cry in front of others, don’t ever be embarrassed.
Keep this in mind, “this to shall pass.” The bad things, and the good things. Embrace it. Enjoy it.
Cut the distractions and enjoy the moment.
Always respect yourself. You are so worth it, never doubt that.
You are not merely words, you are poetry.
Life will disappoint you sometimes, and you are never alone in that disappointment. What are you going to do about it?
Falling in love is worth it.
Think before you speak. Words stain like lipstick.
Don’t judge others. Just don’t. Everyone has a story and everyone has value.
Stick with the people who make you belly-ache laugh.
Love is a choice, choose love, always.
Scary moments will arise, but you can do it. Have faith in yourself, have faith in others.
Help whenever you notice the opportunity, but be cautious. Please don’t pick up hitchhikers.
Read. Read. Read. Gain knowledge and understanding. The world needs that.
Your body is perfect. Absolutely perfect and full of magic. Believe it.
Never lose sight of who you are, stay true to yourself.
Love God with all of your heart. Nobody loves you the way God does.
Get outside every chance you get and BREATHE. Close your eyes and just breathe.
Write whenever you can. Write your ideas, your dreams, things you have learned. Share it and pass it on.
Give gifts for no reason. One simple way to show another how much you value and treasure them. But the best gift is your time and attention.
Mama says use your manners but also eat with your hands and burp. It’s good for you.
Forgive yourself. Mistakes are going to happen. And when you begin reflecting, forgive yourself.
Dream big. Not everyone gets to the dream (or maybe they do) but you know what, most of the fun is the actual dreaming.
Have fun and get muddy.
Listen to others. You can hear and not be listening. Listen to what someone is saying.
Count your blessings, and count them often.
Tell the ones you love them, ALL THE TIME.
Learn about space. It’s a little terrifying, but absolutely miraculous.
Grudges are not good for the soul. Let it go baby, let it go. Practice forgiveness.
Cake for breakfast, why not? Sometimes you eat dessert first.
Be highly conscious what you are feeding your body and your soul. But make exceptions. Some day are for movies and pure comfort food.
No one is a mind reader. Steer from making assumptions and learn to talk it out.
Practice independence. It will benefit you.
You could be a billionaire or millionaire and still be unhappy. “The best things in life cannot be seen or touched but only felt with the heart.” Helen Keller.
Swallow your pride and say sorry when you need to.
You make an impact every single day. Even the days you don’t get out of bed.
Explore. Travel. NOTICE the world. There is so much beauty even in your front yard.
Cherish time, because you don’t get it back. But then again, you kind of do, just in a different way. A smell can make you time travel.
Be yourself, always. Because there is nobody who will ever be you. So embrace who you are, you beautiful creature!
Embrace your path. Comparing will only make you lose focus. You have your own purposes in this life.
Practice calmness verse becoming angry. Breathe in, breathe out. I know its hard, I know. But you are stronger than you believe.
Be a hostess, and host often. And it’s okay to go to bed and clean up the next day. Pay attention to who helps though and offers to clean up.
“I hope you dance.” by Faith Hill. Listen to that song and when you become a mom one day you’ll really understand it. I love you.
Don’t go looking for trouble, but get in a little trouble. It’s fun. Some trouble is worth it.
Pray everyday.
Let your voice be heard. You have so much to say and so much to share. You will inspire and change the world. You’ve completely changed mine.
Don’t surrender to peer pressure. If you are ever in a situation where you are feeling pressured, get out. That’s a red flag.
Fight back what you are passionate about. You’ve always had the fire. Don’t let anyone dim your light.
Don’t believe everything you hear. Ask questions or just smile. Take it with a grain of salt. And don’t things too personally. How a person treats you is a reflection on how they treat themselves. Show compassion.
Don’t ignore your intuition. But if you do, learn from it.
If you don’t want anyone to find out, there’s a good chance you shouldn’t be doing it.
Don’t be afraid to come across as foolish. Ask the questions, be the first, remain curious, try new things, and laugh at yourself.
Walk in light, be a light for others, and help others shine.
Be patient with yourself. A tree doesn’t grow that tall and give that much shade over night.
Go through your things often, and donate whatever you can. You can survive with less than you may believe.
Love life. Love it all. The bad and good. I mentioned this in number 14. Choose love over fear.
Never forget how much your parents really do love you. You are what gave them life.
In the United States for every 8 women, 1 will be diagnosed with breast cancer.
This statistic is very alarming. Being a woman and having daughters pushes me to bring more awareness to this and to encourage the females in my life to ensure they are checking themselves regularly for anything abnormal.
I discovered a lump in my underarm almost a year ago. I was referred to woman’s imaging twice and I even requested to see a specialist because I still felt unsure.
Long story short, they have come to a recent conclusion that it’s a benign lymph node. I will continue to monitor it and am doing what I believe I need to do. I am still very hopeful that it will resolve on it’s on.
But in the meantime I feel a very strong obligation to share this and to encourage women to be checking themselves. Having this lump has led me to lots of googling, believe me. But when I go through something I try to ask myself, “what is this teaching me and how can I apply this to my life?” It’s all been a life lesson.
Hence, why I am writing this blog.
Maybe some female (friend or stranger) will read this and just her reading this saved her life! I mean, who knows! But if anything I just want encourage you, my friends, to take care of yourselves as best you can.
I know cancer is not something we want to believe that can happen to us but the truth is, it can. If not you, possibly someone you love dearly. And with a 1 in 8 statistic we should be even more proactive with this, as well as, providing more awareness to the women in our lives to check themselves.
I am not a health expert. But here are the answers that I can provide to you with my experience.
When to check your breasts?
At least once a month. Best time to check for any abnormalities is right after your period, this is what a breast specialist told me. What may help is setting a monthly reminder in your phone to prevent you from forgetting.
How to self exam your breasts?
Lay down on your back and lift one arm reaching far above your head. Use your opposite hand and begin pressing 4 fingers all around your breast, armpit, and collarbone. Repeat on the other side.
You’re feeling for any lumps (some women have natural lumpy breast tissue which is why it is good to become familiar with the way your breasts feel) you’re also checking for any discharge from your nipples.
Note: if anything AT ALL seems unfamiliar it’s best to just let your doctor know.
I feel a lump, now what?
First of all, don’t panic. Lumps do not always indicate cancer. They can be cysts or even a benign lymph node if located in the underarm. And given time they may go away on their own.
Either way I encourage you to call your doctor right away and to schedule an appointment to have it further check out.
My doctor referred me to have an ultra sound, what does that mean?
Most of the time it means they really aren’t sure what the lump is. And lumps in the breast is also not something they mess around with. So they refer you to have it checked out on a different level. I personably feel it’s better to be referred somewhere then to just be dismissed and told “it feels normal”.
Don’t panic once again if your doctor is referring you. I know this can be scary, trust me. But if it is something that is concerning you want it caught as soon as possible.
If you still aren’t satisfied, ask to be referred to a breast specialist.
All I’m going to say is, your peace of mind is worth it. Just trust your intuition and I encourage you have a health advocate if you’re uncomfortable being your own.
A breast specialist will check your breasts, will feel the lump, will ask if you’re experiencing any pain, ask if the lump has grown, and she may or may not have you come back in a few more months.
And if the breast specialist doesn’t suggest you come back and the lump is still present over time, I would definitely have it checked out again. Don’t just dismiss it because the doctor says it doesn’t appear abnormal. If it’s abnormal for YOU, stay on top of it.
When it comes to your health become comfortable being uncomfortable.
Don’t be embarrassed or uncomfortable with your questions, or requesting a second opinion or additional follow ups, or bringing it up to family or friends, etc. Having peace of mind is always worth it even when it feels like a lot.
I know this kind of stuff isn’t fun to discuss believe me. It’s scary and terrifying but we are all in this together.
With all this being said, check yourself and ask the women in your life, “how often are you checking yourself.”
Whatever you want in this life, I hope what I have to say can motivate or encourage you in some way.
Don’t ever stop being a dreamer.
“Set impossible goals”. I actually heard that quote on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. It was one of her greatest holiday giveaway ones.
A man had been swimming in the ocean, he did a flip, and broke his neck. Just like that, his life changed in an instant.
Life as we know is full of those kind of moments.
He was told that he may never walk again. A nurse told him something that gave him strength and determination. “Set impossible goals.”
Over time, he did learn how to walk again, he is one of the lucky few. He didn’t allow being told that he wouldn’t be able to walk again stop him or hold him back. He dreamed that impossible dream. The beautiful part of this story is he walked his wife down the aisle. And I’m willing to bet they danced too. All because he didn’t give up. All the frustration, the tears, the try after try were absolutely worth it.
(This isn’t them btw, I’m just providing a visual so you can truly try to empathize with this couple and to gain perspective. Hope it works.)
Now……
Everyone has something that they desire.What is your dream? I know you have one.
I’m willing to bet some of you reading this have never really been asked that question. Or you haven’t shared it with anyone.
I want this post to get you thinking about what you want in your life. To take a moment to identify what you seek.
When I was younger the only dream I truly desired so much was to become a mom. I’m not even kidding, that was my dream. It was a dream and it felt like a calling, I can’t really explain it. I wanted to be a mom so bad and my greatest fear was that I wouldn’t be able to have children.
When I became a mother my dream literally came true. Words cannot describe how much joy motherhood gives me. However, what’s crazy though, when I became a mom I also lost myself a bit.
Losing a bit of myself was very bizarre to me. I became something that I wanted so badly, yet, here was I not feeling completely fulfilled.
I went on a serious soul searching journey. And 3 kids later I feel the most confident, courageous, that I have ever been. And I have grown so much.
Motherhood has been the best thing to ever happen to me, because I found a different part of myself. New dreams are being born and new goals are being formed because of my first dream. My daughters inspire me. I have started dreaming ‘impossible dreams’ because of them.
I share this because I don’tever want you to feel discouraged. The feeling of reaching something but not quite feeling the way you thought you would will happen sometimes.
I saw an interview with Tom Hanks on The Today Show and he said something along the lines of, “The good things you feel from an accomplishment don’t last, and the same goes for the things that bring you down.”
I’m grateful for my dream of motherhood coming true. Greatest, hardest thing ever! This blog exist because of my girls! I have no idea where this blog will take me, but so far it’s probably helped me more then it’s helped any of you.
Trust the Timing of things. And trust your path. Each path provides some type of lesson to get you where you need to go next.
It can take time trying to figure out what you really want.
The point is, don’t give up. Keep trying, keep experiencing, keep doing! And stop being so concerned with what others think. Otherwise you’ll just become stuck and you will settle. If you only knew that just a few feet more you’d see that something greater was waiting for you.
If you’re afraid to fail in front of others, you’re going to have to suck it up. I say that in the nicest way possible.
I personally would rather keep trying new things and experiencing failure to find what really lights my spirit up, then to just settle because I’m in a content position.
You can’t be afraid of dead ends, u-turns, or any paths that lead you into a roundabout.
The pitfalls, the mistakes, the redos are going to happen and they have to happen in order for you to learn and grow and to get where you want to be.
4 THINGS TO CLOSE THIS UP
(Thanks if you read this whole thing!)
Be patient.
Don‘t forget the reasonwhy you’re doing what you are doing.
Write your goals down and work towards it everyday.
Stop limiting yourself, set yourself to be free and to express who you really are and who you want to become.
The Wild Gems 